One morning, your blissful date with Morpheus is cut short by a tickling, soft sensation on your neck. Grumbling, and with your eyes still closed, you throw your arm in the general direction of the villanous dream interruptor and end up holding something silky. Your mind now intrigued, you force your one eye to open and you see a yellow and pink blur waving her hoof at your direction, and hear the soft cooing voice trademarked by your best friend. "Ohh no. It's way too early." You say and pull the covers back on yourself.
Not five seconds pass before you feel guilty enough to push the covers off again. You let out a huge yawn and rub your eyes until your vision clears enough for you to be able to look out of the window and realise it's only dawn. "Let me rephrase that: it's way, way, waaaaaay too early. What do you want, Sweetheart?" You know that if this was some emergency like the deer case a couple weeks ago, she would've gotten her bunny to wake you up - probably with a water can, if the maniacal laughter wouldn't tip you off already.
Sweetheart's nervous hopping in place alerts you that she wants to do something with you, but as usual, is too anxious to make you hurry up on your own. So, you head to the bathroom and wake yourself up by splashing some water to your face before dressing up properly in the same-old denim pants and the slightly torn and holey black jumper(the result of living in a rural area full of happy-go-lucky horses who all pull at you with their teeth if they want something).
"Alrighty, what's up?" You ask Sweetheart, tapping your hands against your pockets to show you're waiting for her to make the next move. She gives you that wonderful Mona Lisa smile she always does and leads you out of the door and into town.
As the two of you pass through the town square and try to return everyone's friendly smiles, you find yourself feeling very thankful to Horsetown for taking you in the way they have. Even with warning from Lavender Lady(and you aren't even sure how strong her authority is, given her... Dr. Frankensteinyness), you are surprised that they've accepted you seemingly without issue or prejudice. Clearly you are something that nobody around here had ever seen before, yet nearly everyone you interact with treats you not just with formal politeness, but genuine warmth. It is very different from what you were used to back on Earth, but you love it.
Observing the interactions of the horses on your daily walks(another huge change - back on Earth you'd never bother to go out), you notice that this isn't an isolated phenomenon - every sale at every stand takes at least a minute due to the following ritual - first, a wave of recognition from both customer and saleshorse. Then some chit-chat, some haggling over the prices, finally an exchange of goods and an exuberant farewell. Rinse and repeat with every single horse. It was enough to make a man feel guilty about ever going home! No wonder Sweetheart is so nervous about interacting with others. You feel almost lucky you don't understand them, as it gives you an excuse to wander off whenever you feel like it and not worry over whether or not you are being friendly enough in return.
Finally, the two of you stop in front of what looked like a gigantic pink circus tent with gold frills, but is clearly some kind of fancy store. "Sweet architecture." You comment to yourself. "This better be the greatest store in the galaxy..." Feeling Sweetheart's snout poke at your back, you walk in and find yourself bedazzled by the finery. The place is draped in the most expensive magenta curtains and wallpaper. Mirrors with pure gold frames hang on the walls. Clothes of every color of the rainbow and then some hang everywhere. And in the center of it all, a goddamn supermodel of a unicorn. She has fur as white as the prettiest cloud on a summer day, a majestic violet mane that cascades down her back and curls up on her right side, gorgeous lashes that demand your attention on her lidded eyes and confident smirk that only carry one message: Got you, darling.
Yes. Yes you did. Ohmergahd, I'm in love. So much love.
Both her and Sweetheart giggle at your obvious infatuation with the Goddess(she of course lets out a dainty, well-mannered titter behind her hoof) in front of you and exchange a couple of neighs. Using her magic, she levitates a nearby cardboard box over to you and motions for you to open it. Inside are neatly folded clothes - several wool trousers(black, lime green and maroon), matching cardigans, T-shirts, even underpants. Even a tuxedo! But by far your favourite article of clothing is a large black cape with blood-red lining and a silver chain that could hook it over your chest. In short, a legit Count Dracula getup. Briefly, you wonder how these clothes could've come into being, but then you remember Lavender Lady measuring you from every angle imaginable on your first day here. You grin widely and turn to the Goddess of a seamstress. "Did you make all of this... for me?" You ask, pointing at the clothes and yourself uncertainly. How much did all of this cost?
The unicorn repeats your motions affirmatively. You turn to Sweetheart, your jaw slack and pull out one of their bits from your pocket that you'd found on the street. Holding the bit up, you shake your head, your jaw slacking. The pegasus, catching your drift, pulls your hand down with her hoof. Oh, I didn't have to pay. She, um, she very much wanted to make those clothes for you.
At the very least, the seamstress has the decency to look bashful. So bashful in fact, that you totally forget about your moral outrage and grab all the clothes out of fear that she'd break down sobbing. "Hey, hey, look, I love 'em, see? They're awesome! I especially dig the cape. Please chill." The Goddess immediately perks up and blinks away her unused arsenal of crocodile tears. "Oh..." you mouth as the unicorn neighs a little and an overburdened little reptile comes into the room dragging a room divider. Is that guy just everyone's butler? You find yourself wondering.
The room divider is set up in front of you and the Goddess levitates the tuxedo and cape for you to try on. Well, you can't say you're not curious. You change as quickly as possible and step out from behind the divider to look at yourself from the mirror. The two horses clap behind you, clearly pleased with your appereance. You don't think it's perfect - not the clothes, but your own appereance - it really is time for a haircut and that beard needs to go. But the work this horse has done not only on figuring out the human style of formal clothing, but putting it all together so perfectly, especially for a creature who doesn't regularly wear clothes - is impeccable.
You flex your fingers towards the mirror, holding the side of the cape with your other hand to reveal the velvety red underneath and adopt your best Bela Lugosi accent. "Lizten to theeem... the chiiildren of da night! Whuat music they make!" Turning to the horses, you see they haven't been admiring your terrible acting skills at all, but have their snouts pressed against the window. "What's going on?" You ask and look out of another, only to gulp at the sight outside.
An entire squadron of grey and white armored horses with Roman-style helmets surround the store, all with their spears pointing forwards. None of them move a muscle, simply waiting. Sweetheart trots over to you and motions for you to go outside before nuzzling your chest to assure you of your safety. You release a heavy breath and pull the doors of the clothes store open. If I'm gonna die, at least I'll die looking kick-ass.
One of the horses, a unicorn, places his spear on the withers of a fellow guard and approaches you with a set of golden handcuffs levitating behind him. You feel Sweetheart's barrel rubbing against you and look down to see her giving the guards the evil eye. A large carriage dragged by pegasus guards lands behind the squadron and they make way to allow you and Sweetheart to get to it, their spears constantly on standby to poke out your liver.
Five hours later, you find yourself approaching a fairytale castle overlooking a mountainside city. The trip here was fairly uneventful aside from the awesomeness of being driven around in an airborne carriage. At least you got a better idea of what the world that you were in now was actually like. In a word, it was like a dream. Snow-capped mountains, colorful waterfalls, bright green valleys and hills. Judging from the pegasi that flew about moving clouds around and the regular horses you'd seen managing the grounds back in the town you lived in, they were all very OCD about their environment. Everything here is ordered with magic. The idea makes you a little uneasy.
The guards escort you and Sweetheart into the vast grounds of the castle, no doubt the centre of the kingdom, where your gaze passes over the many waterfalls and neatly trimmed lawns to focus on a bizarre statue. A bipedal creature composed of random animal parts, frozen in shock. An expression of the horses' suppression of chaos? Whatever it is, you like it. It certainly beats all the other bland statues of various historical figures that pepper the rest of the garden.
The castle interior, you suspect, was designed to overwhelm the peasants. Everything is BIG, every hallway, every door, every stained glass window, every staircase is gigantic.
Finally, you are waiting in front of a pair of grey doors. They look like any other set of doors in the castle, but you know this is the one as the guards take up positions on either side and the rest move behind you, forcing you forward with their spears. The guards on the side open the doors for you and close them as soon as you are inside. It is just you and Sweetheart now, standing on an impossibly long stretch of red carpet that leads to the red oval throne that seems kilometres away. Crossing your fingers behind your back, you start walking forwards so fast that Sweetheart has to trot fast on her shorter legs to keep up with you.
On the throne is a white horse - a PROPER horse, not the little ones you've come to know and care for. Unlike anyone else you've seen, she has both a horn and wings, making her a unisus(?)... a pegacorn(?)... a big deal, basically. The horse has a huge mane of cool colors - pink, two shades of light blue and emerald green. But the most spectacular aspect of her mane is the way it drifts around as if a little fan was hidden somewhere beneath it. Oh heck, it's the Horse Queen. Saddlebag the First. You force down a snicker in front of her Majesty Saddlebag, First of her name. And probably last. Shut up, brain.
The horse queen looks at you with a kindly expression, laced with curiosity. You appear as odd to her as she does to you. Sweetheart walks ahead of you and kowtows before the queen. You give a dignified bow. The two exchange gentle neighs. Unable to follow their conversation, you grow bored fairly quickly and start pulling on your handcuffs noisily. This renews the horse queen's attention and she unlocks the cuffs with her magic. You rub your wrist and bow again to show your gratitude. The horses then resume conversation, leaving you to awkwardly hold the golden handcuffs.
You wander away from the horses and instead look around the throne room, noting the historical events depicted on the stained window glass. One of them contains a colorless illustration of the same Frankenstein's Monster creature you'd seen in the garden. Probably some mythological devil then. Straying the horses away from their ordered lives...? Another thing you noticed was the recurring images of the sun and the moon. The two things they can't control? You assume. In one of them, there were also two ponies underneath the images, one of them appearing to be an exact replica of ol' Saddlebag. The other being a blue-maned horse with dark fur, and also both a horn and wings. That the King? You can't make out its gender on the glass.
Looking back on the painting of the bizarro creature, you notice the white and blue horses flying around him(the drawings are stylised, hence you hadn't realised what they were until now), attacking the monster with blasts from their horns. Two forces of order... restraining the disorder of nature.
The clopping of hooves behind you interrupts your thought process and you find yourself face to face with the blue horse you'd just been thinking about. To your surprise, she is not a male, but instead a strikingly beautiful mare - the paintings weren't kidding, she really did seem like the night sky come to life. Her fur and blue reminded you of the night's dark canvas, with twinkling stars dotted around her mane that waved just like the first Queen's. "Wow." You gasp. "You're beautiful, err... your Majesty." Suddenly remembering that you're in front of royalty, you squeeze in a late bow. The night Queen snickers, and places her hoof underneath your jaw to get a better look at your face.
Her crystal blue eyes force your attention and induce a sudden exhaustion into you. The last thing you feel is your legs giving up on you as you collapse onto the floor in front of the mare and into a deep slumber.
"Argh!" You gasp as sharp pain goes through your forehead, immediately cutting through your sleep. You see flashes of the blue mare despite your eyes being shut, and every time you do is accompanied by further pain. "Stop it! It hurts!" You try to shout, but you feel disconnected from your body. Sleep paralysis. You've had it before, when your mind becomes aware a few seconds before your body realises you're awake. Bile starts gathering in your throat as the flashes become unbearable, until finally, your eyes snap open and you find yourself gasping for air on the floor of the throne room. Sweetheart hovers over you, tears running down her face and letting out a loud whinny at the Queens.
Soon enough, a couple of nurse horses arrive and put you on a stretcher, but before you're taken away, you catch a glimpse of the night Queen, who stares at you with an apologetic, remorseful look in her eyes.
"Luna...?" You mumble.