//------------------------------//
// 3 - Talkin' 'bout My Generosity 
// Story: My Life as a Post-Adolescent Pony 
// by Unicorncob 
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A few trips and stumbles later, I was back at the Town Hall and I gave the form to the Mayor. Or rather, I dumped it on one of the two piles of papers on her desk while she mumbled at my attempts at conversation mid-signing things.

"Signed the form," I'd said. "Can I just put it here?"
"Mm," the mayor had grunted, signing a paper with a quill between her teeth, setting it on the pile to her right and reaching for another from her left.
"And I can pay the twenty thousand bits in little installments?"
"Mm-hmm."
"And I don't have a time limit?"
"Mm."
"I'm just gonna get out of here and look for work then."
"Mm."
"Have a nice day."
"Mm-hmm."

Without a doubt the most invigorating conversation I've had since arriving in Ponyville.

I stepped back outside, deciding that now was time to get my bearings. If I was going to get work around here, the least I could do first was learn where everything was. Then once I have a job opportunity, I could rush right over instead of either asking everypony I passed for directions or walking in circles and going even more insane.
And so I began my casual, mindless meandering around town. My eyes scanned around, taking in any places of interest just in case I got called to them at some point by some abnormal force of nature. Something told me I was going to get used to 'abnormal'.
I started small, around the shopping area. Places to buy things were important, because I needed things, and I planned to buy things when I got some money. The charming little cafe looked appealing, and I made a mental note to stop there sometime and see what they had. I also noticed some place called 'Quills and Sofas'--very specific, but hey, I needed a couch. And maybe some quills, I wasn't sure if I wanted to attempt teeth-writing yet. I passed by a bookshop, which made me curious as to what ponies considered good literature. Definitely would stop there sometime. The hardware store just made me fear the idea of the local maniacs operating power tools, especially without opposable thumbs.

One building that caught my eye was decorated like it was this big cake with a door and windows. Like a gingerbread house but... cake instead of gingerbread. I took a moment to wonder if there were real lifesized gingerbread houses before checking out this cake building's name. 'Sugarcube Corner'.
My eyebrows furrowed at the name. I felt like I'd heard it somewhere before. Made me think of the colour pink for some reason. Judging by the smell of baking wafting from the place, I assumed it was some kind of bakery.

Just as I was going to stumble over to the door and take a look, I was bumped on the side. I turned my head and found myself face to face with, surprise surprise, another pony. White with a curly purple mane, and a horn I'm surprised didn't impale me. Then again it didn't look that sharp. The eyelashes made me first assume this pony was a girl, but I didn't want to jump to any conclusions; I had no clue what the rules of this world were.
"Oh, sorry," I muttered instead. "You alright there?"
"I'm fine dear, no harm done," the unicorn(?) replied, in a pretty posh accent that you'd expect to reprimand me for daring to get in her way. "I'm just a little preoccupied, is all." She smiled reassuringly, or at least made an attempt. She was definitely rather pretty, by pony standards I guess.
I cocked an eyebrow and looked at her more closely. Stray hairs curled out from her mane, and she had the start of bags under her eyes. She seemed more than just 'a little preoccupied'. "You look a little exhausted."
She looked a little taken aback by my lack of acceptance, and her smile melted like a snowflake in this world's equivalent of Hell. "Truth be told, darling, I am. I have a huge delivery of outfits that absolutely must be in Manehattan this afternoon, but I can't find anypony strong enough to carry the load to the station!" She raised her head back and put her hoof on her forehead in a show of absolute drama.
"What kind of outfits?" I had to ask, if this delivery was so heavy she couldn't manage it herself.
"The finest fabrics in Equestria, of course!" she wailed. "If they're not in Manehattan by tomorrow I'll be finished! Finished I tell you! And I can not let that happen!" She added with a growl in her voice.
I backed away half a step, ears flopped. I had a feeling stuff like fashion would be a big deal around here, so I wasn't so sure why I was surprised. Perhaps I was worried she would attempt to take out her fabric-fuelled rage on me. 
"Um, yeah, that sucks," I agreed, then an idea came to me. Definitely the most inspired idea by any mind ever, pony or otherwise. "Maybe I can help?"
Her face lit up a bit with hope as she looked at me. "Would you? I'd be so grateful, darling! Oh, where are my manners? My name is Rarity, I'm sure you've heard of me~" She struck a pose, hoof and chin raised elegantly.
"I'm Sharp Sight," I replied, then shook my head. "And nope, can't say I have."
Her pose faltered and she gave me a raised eyebrow. "No?"
My eyes darted a bit. "I'm... new to the area."
"Oh," she said, giving a curt, understanding nod. "Well, I'm the owner of Carousel Boutique here in Ponyville, and I teach at the School of Friendship. Oh, and I am also the Element of Generosity~" she added with a sing-song lilt in her voice.
Already I had so many questions. "The School of what?"
"Oh you'd love it," she chirped. "I must get Twilight to show you! Oh, but here I am digressing. The cart with the outfits is just outside my shop, follow me~"
She began practically prancing away, and I just sorta shambled after her. I had nothing better to do aside from walk, and besides, how heavy could a load of clothes be?





"HEAVY, HEAVY. VERY HEAVY."

Beads of sweat crept down my face as I struggled with all my pony-might to haul what felt like a whole load of lead weights through town. Rarity wasn't kidding when she said this was a huge delivery - the cart was the size of a house! I didn't really get time to argue the fact once Rarity used her evil unicorn magic powers to strap me onto the thing and mush me away from her shop. Hell, I didn't even get a chance to say how pretty the shop looked from the outside! And who builds a cart this size with only one harness?!
I grunted and groaned as I struggled down the street, following Rarity to the station. Onlookers gave me looks of confusion mixed with sympathy. "Wh-what'd you make this stuff out of? Steel?!"
"I did say it was a huge delivery," Rarity pointed out, though she didn't sound that condescending. More like she was just pointing out a fact, which she was but I still didn't like it. "But I truly appreciate you doing this for me, darling. The station isn't too far now, let's make haste!"
I felt like I was about to make something alright. My legs were screaming bloody murder and my back was begging for mercy, and I had the right mind to just wrestle out of the harness and leave Rarity to use her fancy-shmancy magic to haul this stuff, or tell her where she can stick it. But I was in a strange land with even stranger beings, and I wouldn't survive here long without making a few friends out of these lunatics. If I could pull this off without pulling off some limbs, I could use it to ask for a favour from her should she have something I need. I scratch her back, she scratches my sweaty, aching back.

After what felt like three-hundred years of hard labour, I managed to pull the cart onto the train platform, and Rarity unhooked the harness to release me from my new personal hell. I gracefully flopped face first onto the ground and groaned in a language I'd just invented at that moment that I called Pain.
"Here we are," Rarity chirped, her high energy making me despise her at the moment. My ears pricked up as I heard a train whistle enter my peripheral hearing. "And just in time too!"
I somehow found the energy to turn my head toward the sound, and watched as a pink steamtrain slowed and pulled into the station, carrying quite a number of cars behind it. The heart-shaped window on the train just screamed 'gaudy' and made me think someone had just supersized a children's toy. I could only wonder how the stallion driving the thing felt about it, but his neckerchief and old-timey striped hat were pretty charming.
I tried to scoop myself off the ground, under the assumption that I'd have to help haul the ridiculously heavy clothing into the train, but my legs were on strike and refused to work, sending me flopping back down.
"Oh never worry, darling," Rarity said with a warm smile, and pointed a hoof toward a small team of uniformed ponies nearing the cart. Likely baggage handlers. "You get your strength back, we can take it from here."

Oh thank pony-god.

"Oh, and before I forget," she added, and used her magic to float a pretty sizeable sack over to me, "a little something to say thank-you for your help. Does fifty bits sound fair, darling?"
I had no idea how much fifty bits were worth, but judging by the weight of the satin sack in my hoof, I wagered it was quite a lot. It also smelled vaguely of perfume. "Oh that's fine, thanks a lot."
"Oh no, thank you," sang the unicorn, using her magic to help the baggage handlers lift the outfits onto the train. "I'll be fine from here darling, I'll let you get back to your business."
I refrained from admitting the only business I had right now was to either spend or save this money, and I gave her a polite nod before turning to walk off, carrying the sack between my teeth. "I'll get out of your way then. See you around."
"Tata~"

I stepped out of the train station and back into town, my head high with pride and my legs pulsing with pain.





After spending about half an hour resting my legs and pony-watching on a bench, I stared at the sack of bits and came to two conclusions. First, that doing random jobs for strangers in this town apparently got you rewards, which would be very useful for me. Second, I couldn't carry a frilly satin sack of money in my mouth all day. I couldn't risk it getting stolen, plus I felt a little ridiculous carrying it. Plus my teeth were getting sore from the clenching and the taste of perfume in my mouth was starting to make me gag.
During my pony-watching, I'd noticed that a lot of shop-goers were toting saddlebags. Having something to carry stuff around in would be rather useful in my new, if temporary(?) day-to-day life. I spotted a sign on a stall in the marketplace depicting such bags and, once I was sure my legs were back in working condition, I got up and went to swim through the crowd of shoppers. I'd hate to see this world's version of Black Friday.
I got to the stall and picked out a cheap, standard brown saddlebag. Nothing flashy, just something I can stuff a lot of stuff into. Plus it was only fifteen bits, so I had plenty left over. Nice of Rarity to pay well for a few hours' work, she was either loaded or really really generous.
I passed by the vegetable stand and eyed up the carrots. I raised an eyebrow and wondered if my new pony body came with new pony taste buds that would appreciate the natural, if oddly-shaped nutrition of carrots more than my old human ones. I was never a fan of carrots before, but for some reason they didn't look too bad right then. I shrugged and coughed up a couple more bits for a small bunch of them to shove in my bag, keeping one in my hoof as I broke out of the crowd.
I sniffed the carrot a few times before taking a small bite of the tip, playing around with the taste in my mouth for a moment. I swallowed and blinked.

"Wow, carrots are awesome now."

I happily chomped up the rest of the carrot and tossed the top over my shoulder. I wasn't sure if Ponyville believed in cycling, but carrots were natural so whatever.
I stumbled a bit as I felt a sudden extra weight in my saddlebag, like something had just fallen into it. I was sure I had the flap closed, so either I'd bought a magical saddlebag for a good price, or someone had sneaked something into it in an attempt to get me arrested for shoplifting despite being nowhere near a shop.

My mind works in mysterious ways.

Just as I went to open the flap, a yellow, winged pony with a long pink mane landed next to me from the sky.
"Oh goodness," she gasped, her voice rather soft like it wasn't used to going above a few decibels. "I'm so sorry about this!"
"Uh?" was all I could get out before I took notice of something moving in my saddlebag. And then I became worried. "What's going on?" I gingerly lifted the flap of my saddlebag and watched the new pony reach both hooves inside.
"There you are, mister," she scolded in an admittedly adorable attempt to sound stern. "You know better than to take other ponies' carrots."
"Oh, really it's no big d--" I halted when she fished what she was looking for out of my bag.

And that's when I learned that, even in such a happy colourful world full of talking ponies with nice hair, there existed pure, unadulterated evil.