//------------------------------//
// Chapter Sixteen 
// Story: The Little Filly Who Could 
// by Boopy Doopy 
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Ivory Spark talked to Emily for a while before the two of them headed along with her parents to the train station in Ponyville to hitch the long ride back to Baltimare. It wasn't about anything in particular, just going through some more casual conversation about whatever topic came up before they boarded. She wanted to keep her more comfortable for the rest of the day if she could, although she knew she had to ask more to start getting somewhere with her– at least, somewhere farther than she already was.
Although before that, she took a minute to observe how she interacted with her parents and vice versa. Right now, they seemed like they were fairly typical, if a bit more direct and slightly more stern than other parents. They fussed over her, but also seemed expecting when they talked to her, a bit more like teachers than friends– not that this was a bad thing. It was just different. 
Emily looked at them like they were familiar seeming, and didn’t seem like she had an issue talking to them, engaging with them and having not the least bit of trouble conversing back and forth about their home and school and whatever else came up. She acted normal, although at times looked around with a confused expression on her face like she had no idea what was going on.
“This is so weird,” she said quietly when she had a free moment away from the two, sitting down next to Ivory Spark to talk to her. “Am I doing the right thing?”
“I don’t see how you could be doing something wrong,” the unicorn said gently, “but how is this weird, Emily?”
“Cause those aren’t my parents, but, like, they kind of feel like they are? It’s very strange. They kind of act like my mom and dad, too, and sound a little like them. Except I’m pretty sure this stallion doesn’t have bi-polar like my actual dad.”
That was interesting to hear, but Ivory Spark found herself thinking that a lot about the things Emily said recently. She didn’t know how true that was, but she’d need to follow up on that, and made a mental note to do so. She got out her clipboard and a quill to take more notes, getting on paper what she told her earlier and planning to jot down their meeting now.
“Can you tell me some more things you think might be different?” she asked politely. “Do you know how old your parents are?”
“My dad is older than my mom by, like, um… I can’t remember for the life of me how old he is. But I know his birthday is in October, and my mom’s is in May. And mine is in September!”
“Oh, September, huh? I have a brother who’s birthday is in September. But what about things you think might be different? Can you name anything?”
“Idunno. I assume this filly’s dad isn’t an alcoholic and the mom doesn’t smoke. Um… I don’t have siblings do I? Because I have one on Earth, an older brother, but it’d be weird to have an older brother if I’m only thirteen years old.”
“Well, I think your parents were telling me about an older brother that you have, and said he was ten years older than you. Does that sound right?”
“Yeah, it does, but that doesn’t prove anything.”
“What’s his name, Emily?”
“I don’t really like talking about him,” she finished, replying quicker now than she normally would. “But just because some of those things are the same doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean I dissociate, especially since it was like this for Leo, except I guess not as extreme.”
“How is this more extreme now than it was in your story?”
“Because it’s a lot closer to my normal life except everything is flipped from what it was for Leo. Leo basically got a new life, but I’m getting the same thing, except as a pony. And a girl! I get to be a girl and a pony! This is hecking amazing!” She flapped her wings happily as she said it, and then looked at them and giggled.
“Well I’m glad you like being who you are,” the doctor smiled. “It’s always a good thing when you like being yourself.” Then she paused and took a breath, the smile dropping as she continued, “These next few questions might be tough, but I need you to answer them honestly if you can, okay?”
Emily’s smile dropped, too, turning into a disappointed frown. It was a much less enthusiastic ‘okay’ that came from the filly this time, unlike before when she did these questions. When Ivory Spark last told her this, she seemed excited, but now she rested her head on the back of her seat like she’d rather talk about anything else. Ivory Spark pressed in a little bit closer to help her feel a little more at ease, and Emily let out a long sigh.
“Now remember, you don’t have to answer any questions you don’t want to, okay?” Ivory Spark told her gently. Emily nodded, and she started, “You told me before that somepony touched you in a way that made you feel uncomfortable. Do you think you can tell me about that?”
She let out another long sigh, but replied with a simple, “Yeah, I guess.” Then, a second later, asked, “I mean, I know this is important, and you don't believe me, but it didn’t happen in Equestria. I should let you know that up front.”
“That’s okay. Do you think you can tell me what happened?”
“I guess, but also, I do need to make super duper clear that it didn’t happen to this filly. Only me, and not in Equestria.”
“I understand.”
The filly frowned, a little scowl on her face, but didn’t comment further, instead starting the story. She didn’t sound emotional or sad or upset as she told her about it, only slightly annoyed and inconvenienced, almost different. It was… well, it wasn’t the very worst thing Ivory Spark had ever heard, but it was not good. It certainly made the doctor feel terrible to hear, and even worse was the fact that what she described turned out to be patterned abuse, over the course of what sounded like years. It was the perfect recipe of awfulness to set up a filly like Emily with a dissociative disorder.
Emily seemed to understand the seriousness of what happened to her, but the unicorn was unsure if she exactly could see the gravity of it. She spoke factually, like she was reading a report to someone or discussing a timeline of her day. It was a bit jarring, but not surprising, given what Ivory Spark thought she had. There was going to be a lot to work through.
“How are you feeling about all of that?” she asked carefully.
"I don’t know. Sometimes I imagine other stuff happened to me that I don’t think happened, and a lot of it kind of feels unreal. Like this isn’t something that could’ve happened to me, but I know it did. Like, I know it was sexual abuse, but it feels a lot like I just imagined it even though I know I couldn’t have.”
“I understand. That’s how a lot of ponies feel after something like that. Does it make you feel particularly strongly? Do you think about it a lot?”
Emily shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess sometimes? But no more strongly than a lot of things. I used to think it was just something random that I did with him, but eventually I realized that it wasn’t good. Like, when I was older though. But that’s just because I’m an idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot, Emily. I know that after just a few days of knowing you. If something like that started so young, it would make sense why you might not think it was bad for that pony to treat you that way.”
“I guess. I don’t really think it affected me though. Like, I don’t have PTSD or something.”
Ivory Spark let out a sad breath. “I don’t want to be mean, and this might sound a bit harsh to hear, but it is very unlikely that you don’t have at least PTSD from something like that. Abuse like that, especially so young and for so long– it affects you. Even if you don’t think it did.”
“Well, like, it wasn’t that bad though.”
“Emily,” the mare started slowly, a little more quietly. “Abuse like that is bad.”
“But not as bad as what happens to other foals.”
The doctor noticed she was switching from creature terms like people and everybody to pony terms, but didn’t comment on it. Instead, she said slowly and carefully, “What happens to other foals doesn’t mean your own experiences aren’t severe. They are. I promise you, they are. What you’re describing is extremely bad, and other ponies with different experiences don’t diminish your own.”
“Yeah, well… I don’t wanna keep talking about this. Do you think they have dinner on this train? I’m starving! I really want some tuna, or catfish, or something!”
“Well, we can certainly see what they have, girlie. I’m sure they have plenty of food for growing fillies like you.” The words made her smile again and flap her wings happily, but then Ivory Spark continued, “But remember: if you ever need to talk to somepony, I’m here. You can trust me.”
“Well, okay– but if I can trust you, don’t tell this to this girls parents. I don’t want them to freak out over me and stuff… God, I have DID, don’t I? Is that how DID forms?”
“We don’t know that you have DID, you only show signs of dissociation, Emily,” the mare said. “But yes, that is how conditions like DID forms.”
“Ugh. But even if it was abuse, it wasn’t even that traumatic! Like, I barely remember half of it!”
“That’s what dissociative disorders do, and is the whole reason your brain gives you that to begin with. It’s supposed to be a coping mechanism. An unhealthy one, but a coping mechanism nonetheless.”
“Ugh. Man, this is so annoying. Can you please not tell my– err, this filly’s– parent about this?”
“I did already tell them that you said you were abused from before,” the mare admitted, “as well as about how I thought you have a dissociative condition, but if you don’t want me to tell them anything else, I won’t. It can just stay between you and me for now.”
“Good. Now I really want food so I can get my mind off of all this sad junk. Oh! Do you think they have chocolate cake? Or no! Actually, carrot cake, or cookie cake! Those are my favorites.”
“Well, let’s have a look around and see what we can find, okay?”
It was so bad, everything Ivory Spark heard, but it was good to know. It gave her a path forward in helping the filly. Some days, she wanted to quit her job because of the stories she heard, like Emily’s, but that’s what she was here for, right? To help foals like her.
She hoped Emily could be helped as much as she needed, but the unicorn was unsure.