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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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this chapter has so much to think about.
war is on the horizon and it is going to be ugly but then ware always is.
Hmmm, escape attempts grow ever so difficult the more people are involved.
I don't think even the willing ones will like how strong the upcoming compromises will be,
Keep going! ;)
Target aquired. Typo is lasered for immediate destruction.
Sir, is it just me, or do the forces of Typo seem to be smaller each battle?
6268810 Typo fixed, and a few others lurking nearby.
High coo coo ka choo:
In battle we're thrust
Soon to be just wind blown dust
Will the meek win trust
6269306 It can only end well!
The big battle is coming...The last stands is coming....
You wrote discretely when you wanted discreetly.
6270571 Fixed!
I don't think you need the comma after "physically."
The phrase "get along with anyone else" makes it sound like you mean other Anubians, rather than other societies.
I'd delete "hugely," there. It's placement is awkward.
What will he "sentence" her people to?
There are two spaces between "pray" and "for."
6286115 The typos lost the challenge.
6286224 What an excellent chapter! Everything tied together so well, making for the best kind of twist: the sort that wasn't obvious leading into it, but seems that way after the fact.
This was most evident in the fact that we were finally clued in as to Nefertari's motivation. This alone is a point worth mentioning, as too many stories are content to drag out a mystery, especially when it's a character's main schtick, for far too long (sometimes never resolving it). But what made this so excellently-crafted was that her motivation wasn't anything "new" per se, but rather that she had insight into an existing situation that we already knew was likely developing: that war was coming to the Anubians.
This was absolutely the right tact to take with her character, because it puts the right emphasis on her powers as a shaman; her ability to gather information that she shouldn't have lets her react to situations before they start, rather than proactively trying to bend things the way she wants them to go. She can't effect change unto herself, but she can set things up so that someone else can. That's the crux of her role in the story here; while she may lead this particular tribe, she's far better suited to playing an advisory/support role. That matches what I think a shaman should be, and it's great that Nefertari is playing that angle up here, as she's essentially told Silver "we need you to take over. Here's how you do it."
I'm doubly glad that the "prophecy" she spoke of dovetailed back into the main plot so completely, rather than being some new, unrelated quest which just so happened to be about Silver. This is how prophecies and omens should be: rather than being ironclad pronouncements of what must happen, they're instead revelations about how the things that are already happening have been predicted ahead of time.
So now, Silver is going to publicly defeat Nefertari, marry her (or at least, formally so; filling her with children sort of makes that fait accompli), and then lead away those Anubians that seem like they want to change their lot in life. Given that there are only fifteen hundred Anubians here in total, and he's choosing not to take the more aggressive ones, I have to wonder if their tribe will have much of an existence in Equestria. As Nefertari cogently noted, that will be a very small tribe. Still, I can't see any better alternative, as Silver is probably right that the ones who love violence would be a poor fit in Equestria. There's just going to need to be a lot of rutting amongst the community to replenish their numbers once they get back. Given that Nefertari is his newest wife - like it or not - I can only imagine that she'll demand that she get to play her part in this as well, which means that Silver's going to have quite a few jackal/pony pups in the future.
I should mention that it's also quite appealing that this chapter's revelation largely hinged around the fact that war was inevitable. I like this because it showed us the limitations of Silver's influence. One of the worst things you can do for a protagonist is have them accomplish major tasks without fail, especially when that "accomplishment" is simply having them be so morally sincere/pure that everyone falls in line with them (and those who don't are self-evidently evil). That this went so sharply in the other direction was a credit to the story's sense of perspective - Silver's role here was never to find a way to end the violence, but to save those few that could be saved. It's a good reminder that, for all his power and his good intentions, he can only do so much.
Needless to say, all of this really revitalized my interest in where things are going. Let's see how well Silver can pull this off.
6286341 The action begins! The violence isn't over just yet, and Nefertari isn't done working her schemes. She is a member of all of this, never forget. She is not the controller of fate, only someone with a slightly better seat to see the show unfolding around her. I hope you like the chapters as they unfold, and am happy to have you back!
Holy shit, He came from a distant place with mysterious cosmic power to lead them from a path of distruction thru a desert?
It's official: Silver is Pony Moses.
6399300 I never looked at it from that view.
6399300 All he has to do then is escape with them across the desert from the Pharaoh for fourty years. Then kill some Canaanites & steal their land, starting a feudal conflict that lasts 8000 years. Nah don't think so.
So, Silver has been changed. Did he lose anything? Has Luna's magic been undone?
Would these Anubians challenge Discord?
8974432
Given the option, perhaps.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8oNgmJW7bUU
Took me a while to find this clip but I’m only referring to the first few seconds after my time stamp.
2:21