Being the Royal Advisor for Celestia and Luna, you've come up with solutions for many of the nation's problems.

Unfortunately you said a naughty word in front of a guard. Seeing as how these ponies are extremely sensitive, you lie your way out of it.

The events that follow could only be described as "completely stupid".

Rated Teen for naughty words being said.

Thanks to Zephyr for editing.

Featured within 1 hour and 30 minutes on Aug 12, 2015. Thank you guys so much!

Good thing I was reading this on the toilet, because this story made me lose my shit. -LeoneHaxor

[img]http://i.imgur.com/NtX01an.png[/img]

(Clean family-friendly comedy with adorable Celestia being adorable, absolutely nothing explicit) Now with youtube readings! The Gentlemanly Reading by The Magpie, the Scientific-Plushie-Method reading by HanaYoriUta, And the Manly Reading by CaptainBron3y!

Should you find yourself a visitor to Equestria, it would benefit you to be able to tell a pony's rubby-tubby from his or her boop-button and fuzzy-wuzzy. Herein is your definitive guide, written by an expert upon the science. Published with the royal approval of Her Royal Majesty Princess Luna and the silent tolerance of Her Royal Majesty Princess Celestia.

Published by the Royal Canterlot Publishing House for the Royal Equestrian Diplomatic Mission to Earth. For human audiences only. No alicorns (or humans) were harmed in the making of this guide.

Inspired by this thread by Nuke

Takes place in an alternate universe where Celestia and Luna used the Elements of Harmony to slay King Sombra.

Celestia and Luna are no more. The sun and moon have collided, and the heavens torn asunder in the aftermath of their final battle. The Elements of Harmony are missing, presumed forever lost. The fiends of Tartarus are on a rampage, and no one can stop them. And to make things perfect, the ruler of the nation of Boardor has decided to invade.
Desperate, Clover the Clever's last living student gathers together 108 virgin mares, in order to perform a ritual that will revive King Sombra. They succeed... kinda.
A human, in King Sombra's body, suddenly finds himself in an Equestria in a downward spiral with a bunch of technicolor ponies begging him to save them. Convinced that he's either dreaming, stoned, or insane, he tries to go along with it as best he can, although the voice in his head, a very angry voice with a hunger for conquest, crystals, slavery, and stairs, isn't doing much to instill confidence in his own sanity...

New Cover Art By Shadow Bolt!

Living in Equestria under a false name and racial identity is one thing. Finding out you're not the only one of your kind stranded here is another... especially when that someone and the element bearers are looking for you.

Being my first attempt at a first-person romantic comedy, this takes a slightly different approach to the concept of being a human stranded in Equestria.

Enjoy.

Big thanks to DVAN56 for editing. Go check out his work!

After a tragic accident, a human ends up in Lord Tirek's body, as part of an attempt to reform the villain after his recent escapades. While the hero of our tale is trying to make sense of his new surroundings, the rest of Equestria thinks that the most terrible threat that their world has ever seen is back...
And the powers that be are definitely not happy about it.
New Cover Art By Shadow Bolt

"Ponykind must have run out of colours when they finally got to this pony. Everything from his mane to his ass was all seven colours of gloom and doom. He was so dark and brooding he probably ate glittery emos and shat vampire bats.” - Quote of the Week

1000 years the ponies have prayed for a saviour to deliver them, whether it was their long lost sun goddess Celestia, or even Nightmare Moon, maybe even the chaos lord Discord, anypony! After suffering under the yoke of a tyrant god for so long, they decided any saviour will do, even a dark demonic overlord. One unicorn sorceress finally decides to take matters into her own hooves. She sets out to the frozen ruins of a long lost Empire in the Crystal Mountains bearing a grand sacrifice of 1000 ponies in an attempt to summon the dark demonic overlord of the Crystal Empire.

When the dark ritual turned up a blank, the universe decides to shuffle in the next best thing. Will he rise up to the expectations of his newfound flock? He'd better, and quickly, for the tyrant god's inquisition is out to get him and the 1000 'blasphemers' involved in his summoning. With a nation to build and an evil tyrant god to fight, never has there been a taller order to fill. But it's alright, he's a dark demonic overlord, right? He quickly finds that with some smokes and mirrors and the help of 1000 very magical ponies, anyone can look the part, even an entirely magic-inert pizza delivery dude.

Now a long-haul fic! Many thanks to everyone who convinced me to make this a reality!

Many many thanks to the Editing team, Dumbgamer99, Not A Hat, and Brad The Brony. Be sure to thank them by checking out their pages!

Our lovable number one overdude assistant, Crystal Heart, now has a musical theme, aptly titled 'Dual Core A.I.', kindly provided by AdmiralTigerclaw! Epic now comes in an entirely new flavour! Many thanks!

Somebody kindly messaged me and told me I should announce here that the story was featured from 27 - 30th of April. I completely missed that but many thanks for making that possible, everyone!

Cover Art: Placeholder drawn by me. Will be a background for a full cover at some point.

Life is pretty unpredictable for me, but that alone is the predictable part of it. Pretty early on, I learned that I should expect the unexpected, and enjoy the brief moments of peace when they were there. Such an outlook helped me early on to keep from going crazy with all of the stuff that's happened to us all.

As the years passed though, I found my own source of peace: my closest friends.

My best friends were always there for me, and I for them. We held each other up when we fell below the surface of the sea of life, and offered friendly smiles and listening ears to each other when we needed it most. Even with all the insanity we weathered over the years, we became closer in spite of it...or, perhaps because of it. In a world of hoarding dragons, I may be the only one that cherished a small group of ponies over gold or jewels.

---

Rated T for use of alcohol, language of a sexually suggestive nature, and implied sexual acts.

Cover art provided by Zwagyzonk, used with permission.

Note: Ponies are considered adolescent/mature at a much younger age than humans (six and fourteen, respectively). I've made an oversight on this, and I believe this explanation will fix that. Also, this will be a Spike-harem fic, but as with all my other submissions, there is no clop; just a heads up.

Featured multiple times!

'What is it about humans that urges them seek out so many endeavors in order to feed their desires? Greed, power, family, friends, philosophy, knowledge; infinite goals and infinite reasons behind them. Whoever or whatever created these beings are either cunning; to create self motivating creatures that will constantly push the limits of what's possible, or downright cruel; never truly allowing them to feel true fulfillment or satisfaction. The point is humans were created with a void, a missing piece left intentionally empty never to be filled, an undying hunger.'

A bit grim right? The names Rodney, and in case you're wondering, this is the story of my life. A life of Magic, Gods, and regrettably, Ponies. Yeah, freakin-multi-techno-collored-goody-ponies.
But it's not all bad really, got way healthier with a more green diet. Though the lack of meat can be painful at times, that one landed me in less than desired situations. I get to screw with innocent ponies on a regular basis. Didn't kill myself or everyone else with me either. So not a bad deal really, even ended up retiring as teacher.

Teen for language and some adult themes.
This takes place before season 3.

HIATUS: Currently at a programmer's boot camp. Will be done late June 2015.

AN: If you can see past my cruddy writing skills there's plenty to tickle your funny bones, I hope. First attempt at writing a fic.

A three arced story that begins slowly as partially Comedy and Slice of life and rotates more towards Adventure and Dark in later chapters.

Some school fillies have to deal with school crushes. Others with bullies. Sometimes they have to deal with both. But no filly has ever had to deal with an Evil Tyrant being bound to their shadow and have the power to control their every action. This, of course, seems to be no big deal for Sweetie Belle who seems to even enjoy the stallion's company. Though the feelings aren't mutual. The small filly reminds the old king too much of a filly he used to know... Though it's strange the only place he'd seen her before are in these strange dreams of his. Recollections of a past he can't remember.

Perhaps Sweetie Belle will awake in him that version of himself before he was a Tyrant. Before he was labeled evil. A time from when he was a father. Perhaps she will help him forgive.

First featured on 9/4/2014!

The cover art was sketched by me and colored by the very talented Midnight Sonare