• Member Since 30th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen Nov 8th, 2020

Bucking Nonsense

A Little Nonsense Now And Then Is Relished By The Wisest Men.


Takes place in an alternate universe where Celestia and Luna used the Elements of Harmony to slay King Sombra.

Celestia and Luna are no more. The sun and moon have collided, and the heavens torn asunder in the aftermath of their final battle. The Elements of Harmony are missing, presumed forever lost. The fiends of Tartarus are on a rampage, and no one can stop them. And to make things perfect, the ruler of the nation of Boardor has decided to invade.
Desperate, Clover the Clever's last living student gathers together 108 virgin mares, in order to perform a ritual that will revive King Sombra. They succeed... kinda.
A human, in King Sombra's body, suddenly finds himself in an Equestria in a downward spiral with a bunch of technicolor ponies begging him to save them. Convinced that he's either dreaming, stoned, or insane, he tries to go along with it as best he can, although the voice in his head, a very angry voice with a hunger for conquest, crystals, slavery, and stairs, isn't doing much to instill confidence in his own sanity...

New Cover Art By Shadow Bolt!

Chapters (31)
Comments ( 2176 )

Based on the summary, this feels like that one Pen Mightier story.

No changeling tag? Thats something new from you

Buck YES! More involved comment coming later.

5724246 Haven't you already done the "Human in Villain's body" thing?

you've got the idea from 1,000 virgin mares, haven't you?



Hail to the king, human in sombra's body.
the virgins, and ritual, 1,000 virgin mares.

Another story from you? So glad that I clicked "Follow" last night. All righty, then. Time to start reading.


"Look, I don't know what the two of you are going on about, but unless both of you are naked, one of you has a jar of honey, and you are both feeling frisky this morning, I'm going to need to ask you to leave. I'm trying to get some sleep here."
There was a sound like several articles of clothing hitting the ground, and the nerdy sounding voice called out, "Does anybody have any honey on them?"
A third voice, surprisingly perky, called out, "I do!"


5725722 Assuming I said it wasn't a nice fic or something. Confirming assumption is the mother of all fuckups.

Diretusk the Cruel

So he's a sadist?


Well, it appears our protagonist(thanks to the egregious picture, I am forced to name him "Skeletor") has quite the work cut out for him. Tracking this now.

While there are similarities between the two stories, I'd like to think that my idea is still pretty original, since it takes place within a completely different time frame, amongst a great many other reasons.

The romance tag intrigues me, will our protagonist break the tradition of all male protagonists in harem anime everywhere and shamelessly enjoy attention of the yet to be fully introduced female leads? Or will he fall in love with one of them. Either way I can't wait for more, I love your stuff Bucking Nonsense, good job.


Don't worry about it, writers have similar ideas all the time. What matters is what you do with it - originality is about how you say it, not what you say.

5725934 I am not going the cliched route of dancing around the subject, but just going to stab straight to the point of the matter.


As your PR manager(Self Appointed), I'd say that this is completely original.

How are you going to manage the 108 mares?

Like, how are they going to interact?

She was so frightened of me that I was surprised that she didn't fear-shit her internal organs in alphabetical order.

Let's start with the appendix!

The beginning sounds like it was narrated by Tiny Tina.

Well... to me this seems to be the next logical step from Who Is This Lord Tirek You Speak Of? By all means, please carry on.

Another chapter for you, because A. I love you all, and B. I'm awesome. Enjoy!

Goddammit B! My body is not ready.

"He's a zombie! He'll eat our flesh!", "He's a vampire! He'll eat our blood!", and "He's a demon! He'll eat our souls!" And then there was my personal favorite, "He's a zombie vampire demon! He'll eat our EVERYTHING!!!"


She did a middling job of it, and her wide eyes betrayed the horror she felt just from the look on my face.


5725934 I said this same thing to someone who was getting hit for having an OC that looked like someone else's OC. There are thousands of writers out there, churning out millions of stories. Overlap is inevitable. Even if it's completely accidental/incidental.

P.S. Not reading yet, just checking out the comments to get a feel for the story, I'll read it after dinner/ I make a Z-95 Headhunter in space engineers.

If I went into battle, it would be while launching lightning bolts and fireballs at a black dragon, and with a fucking lich riding on my back wielding a staff forged from the bones of murdered gods


I can already tell this is going to be interesting. :rainbowdetermined2:

Wow man 14 hours and your already featured :rainbowlaugh:

The sun and moon have collided, and the heavens torn asunder in the aftermath of their final battle.

Um... not to crap on your party, but how the flying fladoodle does that work? I know in our solar system the Earth's roughly a dozen times the moon's size. And the sun fits about a thousand Earths inside it. Assuming a similar sized scale model for celestial bodies, it doesn't make any kind of sense. So... did the sun just kind of eat the moon or something?

You got featured! (image taken on 3/11/15, 3:25pm PST)


5726215 You're assuming "a similarly sized scale model". As the first chapter so eloquently put it, Magical Ponyland does not work that way.

This story, just by the description, makes so little sense that I have lost sense, again just by reading the description. Wonder what happens when I read it?

5724246 I can't help but think you have made a new, and rather narrow, genre that I think of as the HIEV. Pronounced Hive, it stands for Human in Equestrian Villain. Well, this is all in my head but I think would make for a great group name.

I really like the name Boardor.
It is both deeply, deeply lazy naming, for a country bordering Equestria, and quite clever at the same time.

the synopsis reminded be a fair bit of "1000 virgin mares, one awesome evil overdude, infinite facepalming".

5726413 Hmm.
Well, the obvious Tirek one by the author in question.
Nightmare moon as a seven year old boy.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/122954/hail-to-the-king (another Sombra)
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/185340/1000-virgin-mares-1-frickin-badass-dark-overdude-infinite-facehoofing of course
I'm sure I remember a quite decent chrysalis one too.

This is truly worthy of Gizoogle-ing. Much laughter was had in the past, present, and indefinite future.

You assume their sun and moon are close substitutes to our own, despite the following three observations which clearly show that they cannot be.

Neither seem to obey Newton's law of universal gravitation: if they possessed and were affected by gravity, they would (barring special circumstances) not need to be moved by ponies at all—this also suggests that the two objects may not even have mass, meaning they would not be physical objects at all.
Neither seem to obey Newton's first law of motion: even if they did need to be moved (or the Earth rotated), practically speaking they would only need to be moved once and never again, since they should continue moving until acted upon by an obstructing force.
Neither seem to obey the speed of light universal physical constant: Equestria's Sun can be seen moving about a second after Celestia moves it, whereas the light from our Sun takes on average 8 minutes 17 seconds to reach the Earth—for this to be possible would require that either the sunlight's velocity be greater than 500 times the speed of light, that the sun's distance from the planet be merely 0.2% that of the real Sun-Earth distance, or that Celestia cast a spell that time-traveled into the past at least 8 minutes 16 seconds.

These three observations are all, of course, arbitrarily assuming that Celestia's magic has effectively infinite velocity, so that it reaches the sun the instant it is cast, and the spell takes effect instantly—if this is not the case (and more than likely, it is not the case), then the conditions are further complicated by the factor of the time it takes for Celestia's magic to even travel to the sun.

These three simple observations about the sun and moon in the show make it abundantly clear that it is practically impossible for their sun and moon to be even remotely similar to any astronomical phenomena we are currently aware of, much less being the equivalents of the real Sun and Moon.

Can't wait for more when the voice of Sombra past comes to haunt unnamed human.

You my dear pony, win at science.

-Ambassabor of the Changelings,
Dopple Ganger

5726215 Actually, 1.3 million Earths can fit in the Sun.

Also, I really, really love the setup here. I love how wonderfully alien it emphasizes the Equus we all know and love to be.

Hey, you used the comic-verse with this one, but the alternate versions of tia and moony haven't shown, but I'm enjoying myself

I was wondering what the title of the fanfic is a reference to, and someone in a thread told me that the title is a reference to Flintlocke's Guide to Azeroth after I posted a comment about it in a forum.

What a ride ... I was mildly afraid at first that the virgin mares were going to be sacrificed ... glad they weren't - at least not in a lethal sense, although they might have made some sort of (quasi)symbolic sacrifice that may possibly bind them to Not-Sombra (if his name came up, I missed it, so until I find that out, I'm gonna call him that) on some level. And it looks like he and his entourage (harem?) have their work cut out for them - between the monsters coming out of Tartarus and Boardor's (LOL) forces bearing down, this is going to be a helluva fight. Not as big as the Princesses wrecking the whole gorram sky, but still %#@&ing epic.

*reads synopsis*
Hm...so, basically this story is a combination of "1000 Virgin Mares" and "Hail to the King"?


I'M SOLD. :raritystarry:

Words cannot describe the amount of random this story has already wrought upon the internet.

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