I Am Surrounded By People Who Love Me
Fun fact: Fillies like to snuggle and/or cuddle in their sleep. Constantly. And while unicorns and pegasai have what can be considered 'normal' strength, if such a thing can be applied to ponies, earth ponies have a grip strength in their little forelegs that is simply astounding. The adorable little darlings were gripping my limbs with more than enough force to cut off circulation. I felt a genuine concern that these dainty little darlings might break my bones if they hugged me any tighter. Heaven knows, two of them hugging my waist was enough to give me trouble breathing. The unicorns, however, were very... pokey, and the pegasai were kinda nibbly. I idly wondered if I'd end up as the first stallion to be hugged, nibbled, and poked to death by fillies. Or maybe that was the plan: Perhaps the other mares, fearing me now that they'd seen what I was capable of, and having now secured Sanctuary as a base of operations, they had decided to sneak a tiny army of adorable assassins in my bed. In a few hours, they'd come to check on me, and find the fillies cuddling my crushed, punctured, and half-eaten corpse.
As I lay there, waiting for my impending death by snuggling and/or cuddling, I reflected on the unfairness of it all. My original body had been beaten near to death by a bunch of greedy assholes, and then eaten by coyotes. I now occupied the body of a person who, if not Equestria's biggest bastard, was certainly somewhere in the upper portion of the top one hundred. I was an evil overlord, tasked with a quest that would normally require a legendary hero, and that wasn't even the worst part of it all...
I was now living in what could essentially be called a floating turbo-mansion that came with death rays and a super-shield, and I shared it with a group of one hundred and eight members of the fairer sex, over half of which, if I was judging things accurately, were of the legal age, and were probably incredibly attractive by local standards. Add to this the fact that I was the only male for miles, and you'd have a situation that a number of individuals who would call the best fucking thing ever, barring one tiny little detail: Ponies. Ponies everywhere.
Fuck. My. Life.
While this was my new normal, I was not yet at a point where I was ready to 'go native', if you get my drift. Besides, while ponies might look, in an abstract way, like the horses back home, there was no telling what kind of strings might be attached to the horizontal hoke-pokie here, or even what kind of biological responses might be attached. Did ponies mate for life, whether they wanted to or not? Were stallions like honeybees, and certain pieces break off while getting it on? Plus, there was one other, far more serious, concern...
The spell that brought me back had required one hundred and eight virgins. If one of the mares were to lose their virginity to me, or just lose their virginity, period, would that have an effect on me? Would I drop dead on the spot? I'd have to question Sunset about that later. If I was going to last only as long as a group of nubile, hormonal teenage girls could maintain their own virginity, then this quest might have one hell of a short deadline, especially if 'heat' was as powerful a force on the ponies here as it was on equines back home...
My reverie was interrupted by a voice saying, softly, "Girls, it's time to get up. Breakfast is ready in the main dining room."
In spite of the fact that the words had been spoken in a whisper, the response was instantaneous: The fillies, as one, all raised their heads, and all of them looked towards the same direction, towards a mare, wearing a green cloak, sitting by the bed. How she'd gotten there, I don't know: I didn't hear her approach, and until she'd spoken, I hadn't realized anyone else was in the room. Somehow, she seemed to possess the kind of stealthiness I'd normally associate with ninjas.
However, that all processed at the back of my mind. What the fillies were doing was taking up all of my attention.
Normally, I'd call that kind of response, being able to wake up instantly without complaint, impossible for a group of five year olds: Most kids take some serious effort to get out of bed while sleeping as deeply as they'd been. However, these girls had spent a year on the run from fiends, war pigs, and who knew what else. If they'd not developed a skill at waking up quickly and quietly at just a whisper, then they'd likely not have lasted as long as they had...
The fillies, with an almost military precision, disengaged from cuddle/snuggle mode, and began leaving the bedroom with an efficiency that came from long practice. These little five-years-olds had the act of quickly getting up and skedaddling up to a science. No complaints, no gripes, not even a yawn. They'd been called, and they were up. They were less like children in that moment, and more like soldiers than any child should be allowed to be.
I cannot begin to describe how angry that made me: These were little fillies. In an ideal world, their biggest concern should have been trying to earn their cutie marks, not whether a giant fiend was going to storm into their home and rip off their shadows, steal their magic, or turn them and their loved ones to stone. They didn't need an imaginary monster under their beds or in their closets: The world was filled now with more than enough monsters as it was. And yet, this was their new normal. Their world had gone from the utopia to the dystopia, and it had happened in the blink of an eye a year ago...
So shut up, you dimwit, I told myself as I put a cap on that anger for later use. Things could have been a whole lot worse for me: At least I was in a body that allowed me to do something about the state of the world. These little ladies didn't even have that much to their name. So, for their sake, I'd need to do the heavy lifting.
Resolution One: If it took every drop of blood in my body, I would ensure that the Equestria that I built would be one where children were free to be children.
*Agreed.*
'Really?'
*I was a colt once myself, you know.*
'Fair enough.'
The last filly left the room, almost marching out, on her way to breakfast. The mare, still standing by my bed, said, "Sorry about that, your majesty. Rosy Sunrise didn't need anypony other than Miss Bubbles to keep her company, and Ginger Ale sleeps just fine if I'm with her, but the others won't sleep unless somepony is with them, and tonight, they all insisted that they stay with you." She gave a chuckle, and added, "You were half-frozen when we pulled you in, so you needed all the warmth you could get."
Half-frozen? Oh, right, yeah, I'd been surfing around out there without a coat, a hat, or even a scarf. In a place already cold enough to freeze the wings off of a pegasus, I'd been cruising at high altitudes, so I was essentially walking around nude in a snowstorm back there. Sombra had said that my body hadn't completed its revival before I'd gone out there, which was why I'd not been feeling pain up until I'd gotten electrocuted. Now, though, I'd have to be a bit more careful: Unreal as it seemed, this was reality. Accept it, or go crazy. Those were my options now.
Looking over at the mare, noting her somewhat plain appearance, asides from her striking green eyes, I said, "We've not been introduced. What's your name?"
She nodded, and said, "Acorn, your majesty." I noted that she said it without a trace of irony, sarcasm, or snark. When she called me that, she meant it. I... wasn't ready for that kind of respect yet. After all, yesterday I'd come within a hair's breadth of fucking everything up, only to be saved at the last minute by a stuffed toy.
I cleared my throat, and said, "You can just call me Sombra right now. It's too early in the morning for formal address." I paused, then asked, "Or is it?"
Giving a small smile, Acorn answered, "It can be a bit difficult to tell what time it is, given what's happened to the sun and moon. The one clock we have does insist on it being morning, though."
I nodded, starting the process of getting out of bed with numb extremities, and said, "Good. I heard someone say breakfast. I take it that somepony was able to find the kitchens?"
Acorn chuckled, and said, "Oh yes. A few of our number were bakers and chefs of varying degrees of skill. One of them, if I recall, served in the royal kitchens, and she's organizing a dinner to officially celebrate your victory yesterday. Now that we have enough food to feed a legion ten times over, and do so for weeks without running low, everypony agreed that a good feast was in order." With a wry smile she admitted, "Overall, most of us are a good deal thinner than we were a year ago, and some of our number cannot even remember the last time they'd had a hot meal that they could actually sit and enjoy without watching over their shoulders for our pursuers."
"Well, I'm hungry enough to..." I paused, keeping myself from saying 'eat a horse' and probably terrifying everypony in Sanctuary, and quickly added, "out-eat a legion myself." My stomach grumbled, no, roared would be a better description of the sound my digestive tract made: I'd not eaten since I came back from the dead, so of course I'd be famished. "So, what's on the menu?"
Acorn gestured towards the door, and said, "Petite Madeleine's been cooking breakfast for the last two hours, and she's been coming up with things with names in Prench that I'd hesitate to pronounce, although I did hear somepony refer to something as 'waffles'. Whatever it all is, it smells delightful." She paused, seeming to remember that I was probably the only pony who didn't know where the dining room was, and said, "I'll lead you there."
Waffles. Oh fuck yes. I couldn't expect to eat bacon anymore without having to go and commit bloody murder to a boarc, but waffles? Waffles, I could eat all damned day.
--------------------------------------
"Pins and needles, pins and needles," I muttered as we walked.
"I beg you pardon?" Acorn asked, looking over her shoulders at me.
"While I don't mind the display of affection from the little ladies, the earth ponies don't know their own strength," I explained. "I lost feeling in all of my limbs while they were cuddling me, and it's only now coming back..." As I said that, I started to notice something odd.
Acorn smiled, and said, "That may explain why you haven't noticed yet."
Blood flow was returning to all four of my limbs... plus two.
I looked over my shoulder, and saw something that wasn't there before: Wings. A rather spectacular pair of them, no less.
*Well, that's interesting.*
'WHY DO I HAVE WINGS!?!?!?'
*You ate a star, dimwit. You absorbed into your being a chunk of the power of the cosmos. Celestia embodied the power of the sun. Luna, the moon. Both were alicorns, and by eating that star, you added yourself to those lofty ranks. And those aren't the only things that have changed.*
"I need a mirror," I stated aloud to Acorn. I needed to see how I looked now...
--------------------------------------
The wings weren't the only change, although they were the most... extreme.
I was the same height as before, and my muscles didn't feel any smaller, and yet somehow I felt... smoother. More streamlined. Maybe it was the fact that my mane and tail, rather than the wild, gnarly mass I'd had before, had somehow resolved itself into something that somehow managed to look like salon quality in spite of my having just gotten out of bed. My fangs were, if not gone completely, then they had definitely become less pronounced than before. Perhaps most startlingly, my eyes had changed color completely, from red to green. I still looked like a badass unicorn, but now I looked less like pony Dracula, and more like James Bond in pony form.
*Huh. You almost look like I did before my powers awakened.* Sombra paused and admitted, *I wasn't quite as big or muscular, but still, this was more or less how I looked before I became king.*
'You were pretty handsome, then... for a unicorn, I mean.' Seriously: If a unicorn could look bishonen while at the same time having a body that would impress most body builders, then this is what that unicorn would look like...
My stomach roared again, reminding me that while Vanity was a great deadly sin and all, what my body really wanted was some motherfucking Gluttony.
I turned to Acorn, happy to see that she didn't seem ready to jump my now studly and handsome bones, and said, "Alright, now let's go eat."
-------------------------------------------
What would happen in the minutes to follow would be amongst the most uncomfortable in my entire life...
As we approached the dining room, I could hear it abuzz with conversation. It was, I noted, of a definitely positive tone. Everypony, it seemed, was riding the high of yesterday's victory. That, combined with the heavenly aromas that were creeping out through the closed door made me confident that I'd be able to go in and eat breakfast without there being a scene...
The moment I entered the dining room, almost all the conversation stopped instantly. The mares, or at least the ones old enough to be considered 'of age', all watched me walk by, with their mouths and eyes wide open. The wings of the pegasai in the room suddenly spread out into full expansion. Little sparks began shooting off from the horns of the unicorns. The earth ponies simply drooled, looking at me as if I was made of chocolate. Sweet, delicious, sexy chocolate.
I'd underestimated, I think, just how attractive I would be to the mares around me. I was the fucking Fabio pony now. I was reminded, more acutely than ever before, that I was the 'only' stallion for miles around. And now I wasn't a 'last resort' option, either. There were going to be fights breaking out over who got a chance at me first...
*On the plus side,* King Sombra contributed with a chuckle, *a lot of them are probably revising whatever wishes they have in mind for you now.*
'Right. They're probably all thinking something along the lines of 'I want to ride King Sombra's Royal Scepter for hours and hours on end.' Dammit. This would be a whole lot easier if they were human, or at least humanoid...'
*Quit complaining, dimwit, and count your blessings. Had I known that I'd be getting this kind of attention after I came back, I'd have reconsidered stuffing your soul into my body.*
'If you want to trade for a few hours, so we can get this out of the way...'
*It doesn't work that way. When you took my place, I forfeit my claim to my body. Period. Even if I wanted to, I can't take it back. And right now, seeing the... selection available, I'm seriously regretting that decision...*
Heh. Every dark cloud has a silver lining, I guess.
'They're all that fine?'
*You have no idea. Any stallion with a working reproductive system would charge Diretusk's legions armed with nothing but a dull spork for a chance to be you right now.*
'Fair enough.'
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, I reached my destination: The only table with a conversation going on. Or really, it was a monologue. While Sparkling Sunset and the fluffy pony were staring at me in shock, exactly one pony had not noticed my arrival, and she was so deep into a rant that I doubted that a bomb going off would have stopped her flow.
And of course, it was Ladyhawke who was doing all that talking.
"...and I don't care if he's an alicorn now, if you think I'm going to bow down to him and call him king, you've got another thing coming. I'd soon lick the dung off of Diretusk's trotter than..."
Unable to resist, I cleared my throat, stopping her mid-sentence. Turning around slowly, with the sort of slow horror that you'd expect from someone who'd just realized that Freddy, Jason, and/or Leatherface was behind them, Ladyhawke looked at me, and...
Well, I'll admit, what happened next was one of the funniest things I have ever seen. Ladyhawke turned bright red, and her wings suddenly tried to snap open, only to stop halfway. I will honestly admit, I never imagined it was possible for any member of the fairer sex to force down a 'ladyboner' by pure willpower, but Lady was giving her all to keep her wings from going to full expansion. I didn't know anything about the phenomenon known now as the 'Wingboner' back then, but I knew that those wings snapping open meant something.
I asked, as mildly as I could, "Mind if I sit?"
Ladyhawke blushed even more intensely, but was too intent on keeping her wings from opening to speak. On the fluffy pony, I saw a massive pair of white wings snap open, then a bird's head popped out, and a moment later, an albatross flew out of her fur, giving a loud cry as it did so. The fluffy one herself, however, just watched me while drooling, completely unashamed, a small puddle forming on the table. Sparkling Sunset, on the other hoof, had turned seemingly catatonic, one forehoof raised in the air, and her mouth wide open, as if she'd been in the middle of speaking when I had walked in. The only thing moving now were her eyes, which were zipping up and down my body so quickly that they were causing a motion blur.
Seeing an empty chair, I settled myself in, taking their silence as consent. I said, still mildly, "I'm hungry. I heard that there were waffles?"
Suddenly, in a blur, dozens of mares were falling over themselves to deliver their own plates to me. In seconds, I had more waffles in front of me than I had ever seen in my life, and mine was not exactly a waffle-less existence before today...
'Well,' I thought, half to Sombra and half to myself, as I took a bite 'at least I won't starve...'
Time for a visual aid, I think. 
Slight spoiler from the comics below:
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NEW CHAPTER UP!!!
So one third of his potential harem are also pegacorns/winged unicorns/alicorns?
6008676
Typo. My bad.
6008682
It's the only one I noticed, so hey!
Loving the story btw. Wondering which fiend will have the massive brass balls to go up against alicorn-Sombra next.
I'd certainly agree that our hero certainly earned that ascension - more than just about any I've seen. Wonder if he'll be able to fix or replace the sun and moon.
This has been the absolute best way for me to finish off my morning/go to bed. It even distracted me from listening to Freebird. You sir. Yes.
As the saying goes, "It's good to be the king."
6008657 Yup. Straight pony is needed. Maybe we could talk about this? I mean Shinpachi is a great example for a straightman!
Like imagine how this scenario would be funnier if:
I hate you, Sombra. WHY DO YOU GET ALL THE GIRLS!?
I faced down...
WHO CARES IF YOU FACED DOWN AN IMPOSSIBLE SHADOW EATING MONSTER WHO SUSTAINS ITSELF ON THE ABSENCE OF LIGHT WHICH IS PRETTY MUCH THE ABSENCE OF ENERGY WHICH CREATES THE ABSENCE OF MATTER AND SHOULD THEREFORE NOT EXIST! I BET YOU I COULD'VE DONE IT IF I HAD HALF YOUR INSANE MIND! GOD DAMN IT! WHAT MAKES YOU CRAZY!? IS IT LIKE YOU HAVE ANOTHER VOICE IN YOUR HEAD THAT IS ALMOST, SIMILAR TO, BUT NOT QUITE ENTIRELY UNLIKE LOGIC! WHAT!?
i.imgur.com/PijPq7z.gif
Considering I am a guy, I much prefer badass Sombra to bishonen pretty princesses sombra.
I already miss the fangs, the wild mane, and the muscles. And the lack of wings. I miss him not having wings.
Sombra sexy meter: It's over 9000!
Hail to The King, filly.
Omg this is so epic
now, where is next chapter??
6008826 Huh, seems like Sombra did fix his Swag after all.
6008867 He just need to eat a star version of red bull.
6008881 And a goodnight's sleep to fix his Swag.
6008822 The fangs were pretty awesome and he still has his muscles, and I was kind of hoping he would get like a flaming shadow mane or something
Soundtrack for this chapter.
New look. It is almost twice as funny to know it's based in canon!
I wonder if mirror sombra is alive now.
Alicorn Sombra, hell yeah! So now does this affect his magic now? And does this mean he'll be able to move the sun and moon now? Or maybe he'll need to eat a piece of them respectively to gain that power. Looking forward to the next update.
Fridge realization. You foreshadowed this twist in the first chapter of 'The king is dead, Long Live the Emperor.'
6008894
The star ran out too early for the mane and tail. He needs to eat another.
First off, this has to be done:
loic.dias.free.fr/music/VA%20-%20NRJ%20Music%20Awards%202012%20(2011)/CD1/01.%20Lmfao%20-%20Sexy%20And%20I%20Know%20It.mp3
And now that that urge has been quelled, I shall now move on to my quipping urge:
I was now living in what could essentially be called a floating turbo-mansion that came with death rays and a super-shield, and I shared it with a group of one hundred and eight members of the fairer sex, over half of which, if I was judging things accurately, were of the legal age, and were probably incredibly attractive by local standards.  Add to this the fact that I was the only male for miles, and you'd have a situation that a number of individuals who would call the best fucking thing ever, barring one tiny little detail: Ponies.  Ponies everywhere.
Fuck.  My.  Life. Â
Well would you have preferred The Carebears instead?... On second thought, bear fur does appear to feel pretty good, maybe even better than pony fur. Plus they won't accidentally shiv you in your sleep.
The fillies, with an almost military precision, disengaged from cuddle/snuggle mode, and began leaving the bedroom with an efficiency that came from long practice.  These little five-years-olds had the act of quickly getting up and skedaddling up to a science.  No complaints, no gripes, not even a yawn.  They'd been called, and they were up.  They were less like children in that moment, and more like soldiers than any child should be allowed to be.
I'll admit, I'm honestly a little jealous they can wake up so instantaneously despite the circumstances of said skill being acquired. When I was their age, you could shake me until your arms got tired and the only thing that would happen would be me having a dream where I was on a rollercoaster on the moon. It only got worse from that point on...
Speaking off, I give you a warning of great importance oh King of Fools. The children may be free to be children again, but you must never allow the seductive allure of sleep to take too much a hold of them. Lest their darker nature be brought to the surface so they may follow the whims of sloth and surrender to the powers of unconsciousness as I already have.
...
...
...
... Don't let them sleep too much like I did because they might develop my nasty habit of agreeing to anything the person who wakes me up says so I can get back to sleep again, and then have no prior knowledge about it due to being so sleepy even my cognitive abilities weren't awake at that time. I got blackmailed a lot because of that stupid habit.
"Sorry about that, your majesty.  Rosy Sunrise didn't need anypony other than Miss Bubbles to keep her company, and Ginger Ale sleeps just fine if I'm with her, but the others won't sleep unless somepony is with them, and tonight, they all insisted that they stay with you."
Where is Miss Bubbles anyway? Getting all gussied up for her planned seduction of SombrAmbrose?
"Well, I'm hungry enough to..." I paused, keeping myself from saying 'eat a horse' and probably terrifying everypony in Sanctuary, and quickly added, "out-eat a legion myself."
Huh. There are a surprising number of human-in-sombra's-body Sombra's that avoid the EAH phrase. The more you know I guess, ain't that right Qwapdo?
The wings weren't the only change, although they were the most... extreme.
I was the same height as before, and my muscles didn't feel any smaller, and yet somehow I felt... smoother.  More streamlined.  Maybe it was the fact that my mane and tail, rather than the wild, gnarly mass I'd had before, had somehow resolved itself into something that somehow managed to look like salon quality in spite of my having just gotten out of bed.  My fangs were, if not gone completely, then they had definitely become less pronounced than before.  Perhaps most startlingly, my eyes had changed color completely, from red to green.  I still looked like a badass unicorn, but now I looked less like pony Dracula, and more like James Bond in pony form.
Huh, so he's more or less changed into the form of Mirror Sombra, just with wings. Shame. Not to say that I don't like his new look, but I mostly preferred the Main Universe Sombra's rugged appearance and devilishly wild looks compared to the clean, tall dark and handsome alternate Sombra. I always did prefer the wild Hugh Jackman look to the more gentlemanly James Bond appearance.
What would happen in the minutes to follow would be amongst the most uncomfortable in my entire life...
Just be glad it wasn't the I-got-caught-with-an-erection-in-the-middle-of-class kind of uncomfortableness... That I did not experience by the way. It did not, in fact, ever happen to me. Ever. And I was only stating a simple hypothetical scenario that would be far more uncomfortable than the one currently being shown.
... Moving on.
Seeing an empty chair, I settled myself in, taking their silence as consent.  I said, still mildly, "I'm hungry.  I heard that there were waffles?"
Suddenly, in a blur, dozens of mares were falling over themselves to deliver their own plates to me.  In seconds, I had more waffles in front of me than I had ever seen in my life, and mine was not exactly a waffle-less existence before today...
'Well,' I thought, half to Sombra and half to myself, as I took a bite 'at least I won't starve...'
Good to be the Fabio-King, huh bro?
And now that I've done my civic duty via annoying and unwitty remarks, I bid you all a good night.
P.S. Bishonen roughly means 'pretty boy' for you non-Otakus.
I can't help but think that it was a wise decision to send Acorn. Otherwise, Ambrose/Sombra would have received a completely different kind of wake up call.
Funniest chapter yet. I honestly laughed when I saw everybody's reaction to Alicorn Sombra, particularly LadyHawake.
6009236 I do believe both Freddy's are thematically appropriate.
6009258
This is true. But Krueger is a horror legend, along with Leatherface and Jason. Fazbear just happens to share the Freddy name. Possibly. Maybe.
Beware. BEWARE SOMBRA!! BEWARE THE PONY POON!!
6009174
I've ended up working several morning shifts after staying up till four or five because of that. Work called asking for someone to cover a call-in, mom asked me if I'd work, I'd agree, and go back to sleep.
Loved the update, and the line of thinking, of his life depending on them all remaining virgin, was absolutely hilarious, especially in light of the reactions. I think you could have hit the funny a bit harder if you'd had Sombra mention that after seeing the reactions in the dining hall. He wouldn't have long to live. At all.
In fact, it reminded me of how PenMightier introduced Maud.
6008894
Yeah, he went from bad ass to heart throb..... he does need a bit more of dark badass back, gotta keep up the "Dark Overlord" image a bit. Still swag is more than fixed.
6009174
The post...its too long.
i couldnt keep a smile off my face the entire time a read this chapter.
More chapters please
Great chapter
LOL pony Fabio.
Do MOAR story!
6009091
Glad someone caught that.
Damn... Also, I was dying of laughter, all the way through that all!
dude I fucking LOVE! This story! Please keep it up!
6009258
6009288
sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/i/keep-calm-and-be-ready-for-freddy-3.png
memetogo.com/media/created/qpmqk4.jpg
Krueger? Fazbear? Doesn't matter.
You'll never be ready for Freddy...
A very enjoyable chapter. Great job.
Amazing
Hah, looks like the swag is still on, AND IT SHALL STAY ON FOREVER! HAHA!
No mares can resist the power of Sombra's swag!
You know, I kept thinking of the Sombra from the Negaverse in the comics....
I believe I speak for all of us that we need a scene with Ambrose fighting Diretusk's forces with a dull spoon.
6012595 spork, not spoon, the prongs are important
6008657
I love this chapter!
You sir, are a genius.
RUN, YOU SOLE SOURCE OF MEAT IN THE CITY, RUN!!!!! or else you will suffer from:
m.quickmeme.com/img/23/2387534dad134b37a0e02aa7716e5b358da544bbbcb5dc815de6f53c50b814cb.jpg
6011646 Even if it was from a different story, it's very relevant.
Swag is actually an acronym. It stands for "Something We Alicorns Got". And it seems Sombra now has that something. A lot of it. All the Alicorn stuff!