• Member Since 25th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

Reykan


Want to know how far someone can get writing fan-fictions without watching the show? Lets find out together!


T

As the elements were unleashed, the Nightmare knew it was over. But it would not let it's fun end. No, it would not be left behind. It would find another world to bring to ruin. As for the poor sap that was left in It's place? He was going to get blasted, what did it matter what he ended up getting from It?


Cover Image by NetherWalker

Realized there was no link, so I'm adding two, one here and one in the chapter. After the events of Don't Underestimate the Power of a Bored Mare , the juicy bits that I cant put in a T fic: Defining Love

Edit: I swear, half of you are uncultured heathens. The thing in the image with the Nightmare's hair is a substitute doll

Chapters (102)
Comments ( 9228 )

5906654 Story rating: Tenno/Tenno, ammirite? XD Glad to get such a reaction.

5906725 more like: .- .-- . ... --- -- . !

5906754 Morse code... You'll like the AN of the next chapter. I got into a frenzy after a mod failed this for not being pony enough in the first chapter, so four is about done, too.

WUZ U REFERENCING WARFRAME!!??

This is good. The first chapter could use some work, but I know how hard it is to start something. I like where this seems to be going, though, so keep up the good work!

huh
This didn't suck

I'm surprised

5907322 Internet cookie if you can name the frames used. As to the first chapter, not really sure what else to do with it. The guy is kinda stuck until the second chapter, so he has nothing to do and nowhere to go but crazy.

5908196 Not sure if compliment or insult. Will assume compliment unless told otherwise. I know there are a lot of nightmare replacement fics out there, but I hate how most of them go. I also hate how they end up with all that power, and while yes, losing your *cough*man-parts is bad, there's no rhyme or reason for them all of a sudden being able to rip apart anything that looks at them funny. At least here I can say "He's stuck with half of Luna in his head, good news is he knows some nasty spells. the downside? He gets confused when talking about himself, and some of those spells are patchy at best." I'll have an example of not using patched together magic next chapter. Bad things can happen. :pinkiecrazy:

5909014 Agreed. This story deserves its zero downvotes; it has an original idea and is executing well. Hoping for more. :twilightsmile:

This isn't bad so far. The weirdly-phrased intro paragraph of the first chapter turned me off a bit, but on a second look, this is actually turning out quite nicely. I'm looking forward to more.

5910097 I guess I can see how it would look weird, but I see the Nightmare as viewing itself as a God, at least in this iteration. I've read the fractured personality stories, and I like those, but the parasite that gets too big for it's britches thing works better here. That's why all of the references to the Nightmare are capitalized.

5910118
Oh, I understand that, after re-reading it properly. At first glance it just really looks like one of those badfics written by someone who can't even keep their capitalization straight. It does the actual content an injustice, but, well, you probably know what I mean. It's kind of a reflex for me by this point.

5910130 I'm sorry I triggered your badfic reflex. Relax, it's a false alarm.

Sooooo, if the Nightmare used THAT MUCH POWER... wouldn't it have basically destroyed itself, given that it used more power than it actually had if we think about it a lil bit?

Or are power levels still bullshit?

Ah, thanks for clearing that up, Vegeta.

:trollestia:

Half Life 3 getting released then taken away from him.

How dare you.

5908808
compliment

Yesterday I was on the site really bored and kinda tired and saw your fic
Now, as a rule, I usually lower my expectations when dealing with any Fan Fiction. and seeing as this was a "Human Turns into NMM" Story I was gonna skip it (Because I too was weary of all the other stories with this same set up) but thought "well I got nothing else better to do" and started reading.

At the end of Ch 1 i was like "huh. Didn't suck. and the Dude Keeps his balls? F*** Yeah."

so after reading what you got, i gotta say i Really like what you have so far and am Fallowing this to see where this story goes next.

First downvote, it was bound to happen eventually :fluttershysad:


5910744 I see the nightmare in the start as pulling power from Luna, the nightmare itself isn't that strong. Luna is an alicorn who moves the moon, and while it's my headcanon, I see her as much more capable of subtle spell-craft, where-as her sister is the sun, and a powerhouse. The nightmare would be pulling from that knowledge, and her already huge power reserves, even to the point of over-extending an alicorn, to cast this spell. Or, if you prefer, "Fuck off, it's my story, Imma do what I want!"

5910852 Ah, but it was the first roommate, Nathan, who saw the half-life 3. Don't worry, He got to enjoy the wonderfulness we never will.


5911206 Read so many of those where the dude loses his balls for no reason other than to give the dude something to whine about. He's already in an alien body, on an alien planet, and his form is that of public enemy number one. If you need to geld the guy to add more problems to his plate, you're not looking hard enough.

Wait, it says he was stuck in the armour for forty years (or so). Did I miss something when I red through this in a few minutes?

5911952
Yes. Yes it does. So I guess that means that main 6 are around 60 years old.

Pretty good. Pretty interesting. Kinda want this guy to eventually meet some of the regular cast, but I'll live even if he never sees their old faces. Your OC's are pretty good and it was nice seeing Luna.

Kinda confused about the comment about what the parasite did to the dreaming. Do you mean to imply that it made Luna unable to dream or that nobody dreamed or what?

Well done. Happy writing.

5911952
5912295
As I've said before, I've read so many "Mane six find the guy, they all make friends, everyone is happy" Bullshit stories, I wanted something different.


5912444

What are you talking about? I said the Traitor removed the dreaming world. Never said anything about the Parasite. :trollestia:

5912803 True. Traitor then. I'm guessing from your response that this might be foreshadowing. I don't expect an answer. But man that sounds weird. And terrible, considering how important dreams seem in the show. Even if I mostly recall nightmares in the show.

Wait, are you saying you haven't seen the show? You're crazy.

5912809 I've seen a few bits and pieces as my little sister watched, saw a bit of the RR movie(final showdown) and I looked up twilight's entrance exam for my other fic, magic's shadow, but no, never watched an episode from start to finish. As I told another person, it makes for some interesting head-canon, as there's no canon to shoot mine down. :rainbowlaugh:

You're missing the end quotation mark at the very end of this chapter. Other than that small note this has been an awesome read and an interesting twist on the usual story idea. Very much like!

Yeah, cause "Male alicorn OC" is Oh so very popular...

Won't Luna feel that Ted is the Nightmare?

If its taking place so long after FiM, shouldn't Luna be at full power?

P.S. Caffeinated Woona is Best Woona.

I agree:pinkiehappy:

5913198 Missed the ending period, too, thanks for pointing that out.

5913794 Alas, what should be and what is are not always the same thing. That being said, in response to "OMG set it ablaze! A-OC!" it is unfortunately impossible to make an OC that isn't cliché in some way. There will always be complaints. I'm just saying I can't stand the constant "Dude loses his balls because magic." thing that I see with this so often. Not only that, every single one I've read had the MC being seen in his alicorn form by a main character by the third chapter, and by the sixth, everyone that's someone is his BFF. Where's the fun in that? Screw that, I made sure the magic didn't take them away, it's his job to make sure no-one else does.

5914584

There are many fics about "X human becomes an earth pony, pegasus or unicorn" in this site, and not every one of them meets the mane six. There are also many stories about humans becoming male ponies.

For example in my story The Wrong Twilight , a girl becomes a blank flank unicorn Twilight Sparkle, gets house arrested in the castle, and has yet to meet any of the mane six, human or otherwise. Since she comes from the human world of Equestria Girls, she is not a brony and never watched the show. Worse, the real pony Twilight is stuck in the other side of the mirror for two years and a half.

5910852 Poor Ted, getting pulled away before he even realized HL3 was out! Nathan likely only knew because of all the copies of it that he checked.

5912852 You do know that willful ignorance won't keep you safe from complaints if you mess up something right? Willful ignorance generally isn't an excuse. You are doing well, no doubt about that and the alternative universe gives you a lot of elbow room, but still. Just a friendly warning.

Happy writing.

Have to admit I'm a bit bothered by the Elements here.

Surely an artifact that potent should have some way to sense if it's used on somebody that truly deserve it?

Then again, I do recognizance that's something that near needs to be hand-waved away, or the rest of the story simply wouldn't happen.

On the whole an intriguing start, and I think I'll give this a chance. :twilightsmile:

5916702 The elements didn't truly harm Ted, actually. They ended up separating the two souls that inhabited Luna's body. Having no-where to put him, and having no directive from the bearers, Ted just ended up in the nearest soul-bucket. So no, I don't feel there's an issue with the elements here. The elements can't help it if the bearers and the princess just left a dangerous set of armor lying around, not even bothering to check it for lingering magic. Price you pay for blasting everything with a rainbow cannon and hoping for the best.

5916240 I know, and while I'm certain I'll get an ear-full if I screw something up, at the end of the day, this is for fun. I'll do my best to make the story flow smoothly, though, and keep to what's believable for the characters. I just ask that you don't jump to conclusions and assume I don't have any clue about the characters if something sounds ooc to you. I am trying to write about emotions I have no way of understanding, especially Luna's desperation for companionship.

5916969 As I said, you're doing well. Benefit of the doubt and a little leeway is something you can expect from me. Unless you really, really screw up.

But don't worry, I'm very polite when I rant.

Was that a Xanth reference with the healing spring? Anyways, good chapter. I liked it.

Norton isn't an antivirus program; it is a virus that they pass off as antivirus software.

Nice bait-n'-switch

'I'd get some coffee ready for you, but I'm feeling little stiff at the moment, heehee.'

All things considered, he was slightly disappointed the snake didn't have any money in it.

Typical rpg player mindset

Could you by chance get an editor that understand this bit:
http://www.fimfiction.net/writing-guide

On that note, the word “its” is the possessive form of it (“it rubs the lotion on its skin), and the word “it’s” is a contraction of “it is” or “it has”. That’s because “its” is the possessive form of a pronoun (“it”), so like “your” or “his”, it doesn’t get an apostrophe.

?

Well, since he did not fully integrate the Nightmare memories, of course he is not s powerful as he should be. Not to mention that he was reborn just a day ago and weakened by the Elements of Harmony.

Hooray...
This story is fuuuuunnn...
I'll give it a favorite...
And a like...
Maybe a recommendation...?
Yeah...
My friends might like this story...

If I can call them friends...

May this story live long and prosper under the watchful eye of Knighty and the likes of your labor ever grow greater.

5918126

That wasn't a healing spring! It was the fountain of love! Now there's a sickening Ted-chupacabra hybrid wandering around... A Tedacabra! :pinkiegasp:

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