The queen fumed as she slammed the door behind her. Was he mad? Demanding the lives of her hatchlings in an attempt to make some point? She lashed out again and again, leaving cratered impressions in the first chamber of her nest. She lashed out till her hooves ached, till her chitin threatened to split. Panting heavily, she pushing into her sleeping area, and to the nearly hatched eggs she kept by her bed.
For a long time, the queen simply stared at them. He used them to try to teach her something, even if she didn't fully understand it. Would he still demand their destruction? The queen shook with rage once more at the thought of such a request. Oh, and stars forbid her mother ever learn of this, a changeling queen serving under a pony, willingly denying herself the pursuit of genetic material to better her hive for a single male. The old queen would either laugh herself mute, or beat her daughter into the dirt with her own withered hooves.
'For all the hatred I feel for him right now, I can't bring myself to truly try to kill him.' She thought to herself. She'd done more for him than her mother would ever permit, much less believe. She'd allowed herself to be placed below him while she recovered, and even after her recovery she didn't overthrow him, as he was much more useful in his current position. Certainly she could try to hypnotize the alicorn, she knew her species could do it, but would it work on something that was higher than a pony? What of the alicorns affection that fed so many changelings so easily? Would it be compromised? What of whatever spell he used to shield the changelings under his rule from the Mad Queen? Would that still work if his mind was not his own?
In the end she couldn't take those chances. No matter how much he frustrated her, Pandinus could not move against the alicorn without horrific consequences. Curling defensively around her clutch, she shuddered, first with rage, than with depression. She was a queen only in the idea that she was a primary bearer of her species and could maintain a link with hundreds of drones easily. In terms of actual power in this nest, she was less respected than the clutch nurse. Scratching her head behind the horn, she knew her crown would start forming soon. With her first clutch just about to hatch, it was only a matter of time. But what then? A hostile takeover wouldn't work here, and the other changelings, those who were independent of her, would not ally with her. By the First Mother's plates, the clutch nurse would not allow her near the nymphs, and Cimmerian supported her decisions on their care.
An odd sensation flowed over the queen as she sat by her clutch, and she reached a hoof to a strange tingle on her snout. Pulling it away, she found her hoof wet.
'And now my body is emulating emotions.' She muttered darkly, before her eyes widened. How could she cry if she couldn't feel sorrow? Was her own understanding of emotions wrong? If her understanding of them was incorrect, so too were the understandings of her entire species on the one thing that fed them.
With the revelation came an idea, one born of desperation. She couldn't think of anything else to do, there was no other way. Slowly a demented grin split her face, the queen giggling to herself at the solution that had presented itself. If the alicorn wanted her love, she would find a way to give it to him. No matter what the cost.
<-(0)->
Ted, or Cimmerian as more and more of his followers were calling him (those that refused to call him Father, anyway), spent the next few days distracting himself with his work, overseeing the construction of yet another building to house more followers as well as the preparation of the mine. The building would be a godsend to those who were unmarried, as some claimed the noise coming from the sleeping quarters was getting out of, well, grasping appendage. Having a soundproofing ward on his own room, Ted wasn't sure what the problem was, till he forgot to restore it one night. Afterwards, the additional housing became top priority.
"Ok, that should hold us for a while, even if we do get 30 more residents. How are we doing on supplies, Gleam?" Ted asked, turning from his notes to the unicorn mare.
"We're starting to run low on nails and metals, but the griffin and gnolls have been keeping the, er, pelts from their hunting, saying they can be sold if not used for clothing and bedding." The unicorn said, reading her own notes. "Tulip has also managed to accumulate a good surplus of potions and poultices, though I would suggest getting her some vials or possibly adding a glass blowing extension to the forge so we don't have to purchase them for too long. Being so close to the beach, glass shouldn't be that hard to make with the proper tools and instructions. Oh, I also must suggest a storage silo for grains as the next project and a way to make a cool storage area for preserving food soon."
"I say we make another set of tunnels like those below the Temple for the cold storage. Ask the changelings to seal a storage tunnel and get a door on the tunnel like Pandinus has, then get some cooling runes into the walls. That should work as a makeshift cold storage, though the changelings will want it a good distance from their nest. The cold could negatively affect them. Oh, and make sure it can be opened from the inside."
Gleam blanched at the idea. "Has that happened before? People getting stuck in a cold storage room?"
"More often than anyone would admit." The alicorn said with a sigh. "That's why I want you to make a note of that, I don't want any stupid deaths. I don't want any at all, honestly, but being this far out into the wilderness, it's going to happen. We just need to do everything we can to minimize the possibilities."
Gleam shifted uncomfortably a moment, drawing the alicorn's attention.
"Is there something bothering you, Gleam?"
"Father, I, I hate to be the one to ask this, but do you know what happened to the queen? No one has really spoken about the incident, I just heard she attacked you for some reason and you hurt her in return, then she locked herself in the tunnels. She hasn't been seen in four days."
Ted frowned. "Four days? You're telling me no one's seen her since she ducked into her nest? Did someone at least check if she's still alive?" The alicorn asked while standing up, worry starting to settle in.
Gleam watched as the alicorn's tail lashed a bit, and his wings seemed tense. "I, I went to check, but was stopped by some smaller drones at her door. They said she wasn't seeing visitors. I just stopped by again this morning, and they said the same thing, though they seemed a bit bigger. I didn't know they grew so fast."
'So they hatched, and it sounds like they've developed fast, just as she said.' The alicorn thought. "She said some things that angered me, and I said some cruel things in return. I lashed out at her, but left her to her own devices, giving myself some time to cool off." After thinking a moment, the alicorn threw his cushion against the wall in frustration, before making his way out of the war room.
"Fuck, I hope she didn't do something stupid." He muttered, even as he galloped down the hall.
<-(0)->
"Mother is not seeing visitors." The drones told him as he stood at the door. They were larger than he suspected considering their age, and the oddity of two door guards speaking the same words in a buzzing monotonous voice was pretty creepy. Still, his concerns weren't going to wait on the changeling finally deciding she was ready to talk. In reality, he was lucky she didn't fall into depression or do something... drastic.
Activating his more ethereal form, he walked right through the guards, despite their best attempts to intercept him. The walls were damaged, most likely from the queen after their conversation. The fact that the drones weren't told to repair them set warning bells off in the alicorns head. Pandinus was meticulous about her nest. The cracks normally would have been repaired within moments of her noticing them.
Approaching the second door that led to the queen's bed chambers and nest bowl, the alicorn phased through the remaining drones. Stopping at the door to look back at the drones, he noticed an odd expression on their faces.
Where once was an emotionless mask, there was now the barest hints of sorrow. Those closest stepped back into line with their fellows, before the entire clutch spoke in one voice.
"Stop the pain."
Eyes widened with worry, the alicorn dropped his shadowy form before tearing the final door off it's hinges, launching it into the wall of the previous room. Rushing into the final chamber, he was greeted by a sight that nearly made him ill.
Scattered around the bed were several glowing jars filled with various emotions, the colors swirling together as if there were some current actually present in the jars. Sitting on the bed, desperately gagging into a bottle was the queen. The bottle was nearly empty, but it's contents worried him. The liquid on the bottom of the jar, barely enough to wet the bottom, glowed a sickly green. Even as he watched, the queen spat another drop of the liquid into the jar. Finally stopping her task, the queen collapsed into her bed, wheezing with fatigue, her eyes dull and her mane matted against her form. But what truly scared him was the rest of her.
The holes were back. No, they weren't back, her body was completely riddled with the damned things. Looking at her now, he wasn't sure she'd be able to walk, much less stand. What the hell had she been doing these last few days that left her in such a state?
Sensing his concern the queen hissed and bared her fangs in what was likely her bodies desperate attempt to initiate a feeding, but she soon pulled back control, a dim awareness returning to her eyes. She giggled deliriously, before reaching a hoof out to the jar sitting on the floor beneath her.
"For you." She rasped, a smile on her face.
'Oh my god, she's snapped.' Ted thought, rushing up to the bed and carefully moving onto it, cautious of any jostling the paper thing creature on the bed. Finally in position, he relaxed over her, allowing his concern for her, his fear for any damage she may have incurred, and his hopes for her recovery to be his focus. He wrapped his forelegs around her own, sitting with his rear left leg pressed against her right. The queen relaxed in his grip, her survival instincts kicking in as she absorbed as much of the desperately needed food as she could stand, before she wretched, vomiting a multi-hued goop all over the floor.
Ted realized what was happening, and toned down his concern as best he could, though he didn't release his grip on the queen. After driving herself to the absolute brink of starvation for some reason, she was getting sick on the amount of emotion he was feeding her with. Still, he didn't release his hold on the queen, worried that she would try to leave and possibly finish whatever mad scheme had driven her to this state.
It took several hours, but eventually the sickly pallor of her chitin began to fade slightly, and her breathing steadied. Certain Pandinus was asleep, he allowed himself to fall into the realm of dreams as well, only now realizing her presence had been missing from the dream world as well.
'Stupid, stupid, stupid. What if she'd done something irreversible? What if that's what she did anyway?' The alicorn rebuked himself, entering the dream as soon as it solidified. The queen hadn't even had time to start dreaming before the alicorn was before her, dragging her dream self into a hug similar to the one he had her physical self in.
"You absolute idiot, what were you trying to do that nearly killed you? God, it was hard enough seeing you like that before, Din, don't do this to me again. Don't do this to yourself on purpose."
Instead of an answer, all he got were a few shudders before the dam broke. Pandinus fiercely wept into his barrel, unable to muster much more than the phrases 'I tried so hard.' and 'I'm sorry.' It broke his heart, and he couldn't help but feel responsible for driving her to this by their last confrontation.
Eventually he managed to calm her to the point of sniveling and hiccups, and he decided to try again.
"Why'd you do that to yourself, Din?" He asked softly. "Why did you starve yourself like that?"
"You, you said you wanted, said that I had to give you love if I wanted it." She whimpered. "So I tried finding my own, but I couldn't find it. I started, started draining off the other emotions, so I didn't have to dig through them to find it. I did my best, I swear, but I could only get a little. But it doesn't matter, it's not enough. It wouldn't even feed a true drone hatchling for a day." She sobbed, despairing at the failure to make enough of her own love.
Ted's eyes widened in realization of what was in the jar, before tightening his grip on the queen.
"You, that's not what I was asking for, Din. I can't taste emotions, that's your thing. I don't need physical proof of an emotions existence." The alicorn separated from the shape shifter, lifting her muzzle so he could look her in the eye.
"Gestures, Din. That is how other species show love. Actions we take. When you went to defend your clutch from me, that was a gesture that would be understood by those around you as love. A mother's devotion to her children. When Gem called me dad, that was her telling me she trusted me to keep her safe, trusted me with her life. That is what you're missing. You keep falling back on what you know about your own species when you try to get my attention, or assuming that we react to the emotions that are being released by others. That's not going to help you. It wouldn't help us." He said, pulling her back into a hug, chin resting on her head.
"But, you said you wanted my love, didn't you?"
"I wanted you to learn to love in a way I could understand. You're not just living amongst changelings anymore, Din. When you get better, I want you to watch the herds. Not the energy, that's something I can't see, it's something I don't truly care about. I want you to watch the gestures, the reassurances, the hugs, the kisses, the simple touches that they use to reassure each other every day. That's what I was asking of you."
"So, so I failed again. I almost killed myself for nothing." She said, beginning to droop again.
"Not true." Ted said, smiling sadly. "It wasn't what you had in mind, but it was there all the same. One of the strangest things you'll see in beings in love is their tendency to do things that hurt themselves in an effort to bring the attention of the target of their affections."
"I know it wasn't what you were looking for, but that is a better proof of love than anything else you've done for me so far." Pushing away from her, the alicorn took a few steps back.
"I'm sorry, Din." He said, laying down on the dream cave's floor. "I hope with all my heart that you don't think I'd ever actually follow through with such a cruel threat, but those words should never have left my mouth, no matter how angry I was. I beg that you not only forgive me, but warn me when I cross that line with others."
"I hate it." The queen mumbled. "I don't want to. I want to hate you, hate you so much you feel it. That you taste it." she wiped a hoof across her muzzle. "I can't do this right now. Just leave me alone."
Slowly rising to his hooves, the alicorn backed away a few more steps. "I'll leave your dream, but I'm not leaving your nest."
"Why not? I don't want to talk to you right now, don't even want to see you!"
"Because I'm scared, Pandinus." He said softly. "I'm not leaving until I'm sure you can at least walk again, longer if I feel you may still be in danger. If nothing else, promise me you won't do this again."
The queen stared at him, anger in her eyes. "Fine. Get out."
With a bow, the alicorn faded from her dream.
<-(0)->
The next morning Ted refused to leave for breakfast, even refused lunch when Gleam brought it to the drones. After seeing the queen in such a state because of a misunderstanding of his request, not to mention the absolutely heartless method he'd used to try and get her to understand what he was attempting to teach her, he couldn't stomach food. Pandinus woke up a few times, but only for a few moments before drifting back to sleep. Most of the day was quiet, and looking back, Ted had wished it stayed that way. About an hour before dinner, the queen woke up once more, this time trying to get out of her bed. Ted guided her, and she eventually made her way to the egg bowl. The queen took her position, the alicorn holding the weak queen in place with a wing. Soon he heard the sounds of wet smacks on the ground behind them. After her laying the queen slackened in his grip, sending Ted into a panic. He called her, shook her, trying to get any kind of response out of the queen. Wondering what had gone wrong, he looked behind her to check her eggs.
And all he could see was her green blood.
6173090
I don't think actual research is necessary; much of this is about feeling, after all. For instance, I believe that Ted was right to slap Pandinus around, though I think he went too far because she's the type to lash back if pressed too hard. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't.
The flip side is that if he pushes too hard and she feels threatened but powerless, she might actually make herself subservient to keep what she has, which would be just as bad. How do you reach the middle ground where she, as an aggressive personality, understands to back off, but isn't pressured so badly as to force her into drastic changes to relieve the emotional/social pressure? I highly doubt there's any concrete answer, and Ted's certainly not going to find it in the timeframe he has available. So he'll just have to stumble along and do the best he can.
She has basicaly killed herself. clever queeny!
Good job
Is Pan kill?
Heh... So you updated while I was typing a post. It wasn't supposed to be here!
This is what I was talking about when it came to pushing her too hard and into subservience. It's like you're in my head, Reykan, because I was expecting her to have to match her natural proclivities to what she's experienced and what she needs from all this. With such a hard push from Ted I was sure she'd either lash back, worse than ever (she contemplated it), or she's swing in the completely opposite direction and go for all-out devotion to what she thinks his wishes are.
Now he's got to stick his hoof in the path of the pendulum. Hopefully without breaking anything that can't be fixed.
6173207
6173213
Maybe her body rejected and evacuated her Ego Gland and now she'll be a much more agreeable changeling queen.
Well I was hoping after the last cliffhanger that the next chapter would be lighthearted or leave offo n a lighter note at least. Nopony ever really followed up on the drawings on his face after all. That is one hay of a cliffhanger though.
So the question is, were the eggs aborted because she was so starved? Is her body breaking down? Did he find her too late? Is she going to die because of what he said? Or maybe Pandinus actually did as Ted asked and destroyed the clutch in a gesture that hurts herself to give him the love he asked for. I find this particular one unlikely but until the next chapter comes, it's an interesting idea, no?
Oh and I am curious! Is Ted able to supply so much love without repercussion because he's an alicorn, or because it isn't stolen?
6173220
I hope not. Freud says that the ego is important. Without it she'd be brain dead. She'd just be a bigger stronger drone in that state. :o
Bugger me.
Please let her be all right......
6172165 yeah it was something like that.
6173207 Or she just majorly fucked herself up...Hopefully not permanently.
Uncultured heathen? I got that shit as soon as I saw the cover art. Hell, I thought this was a Pokeshit crossover, and was prepared to engage in the construction of alternate waste expulsion orifices up until I actually read it.
Now, the real question is "why in the fuck does playing the Porkymens make you cultured?" but we can leave that for another day when I'm not quite so sleep-deprived.
As it is, it's not a fic bad enough for me to create an overwhelmingly negative wall of text that will garner at least five downvotes before anyone actually reads the rat bastard thing, but...
You know, actually, I kinda like it. Let's see where it goes.
noooooooooo, damn it
Hah. I'm glad I don't make important decisions.
Holy shit...
Uh oh
Beach sand isn't going to make for very good glass. Beach sand is going to contain a lot of coral and shell fragments; you can make glass from it (fulgurite is proof of that), it just won't be very good glass.
Container glass would probably be the most common used by glassblowers today, and has a similar composition to some of the oldest manufactured glasses in the world. It's a soda-lime glass composed of 74% silicon dioxide, 13% sodium oxide, 10.5% calcium oxide, 1.3% aluminum oxide, 0.3% potassium oxide, 0.2% sulfur trioxide, 0.2% magnesium oxide, 0.04% ferric oxide, and 0.01% titanium dioxide (plus 0.45% impurities such as hydrocarbons and trapped air). Modern window glass is also a soda-lime glass, through with different ratios of the oxides in container glass and no sulfur trioxide.
Pyrex (that cookware glass, resistant to thermal shock) is a sodium borosilicate with 80.6% silicon dioxide, 12.6% boron trioxide, 4.2% sodium oxide, 2.2% aluminum oxide, 0.04% ferric oxide, 0.1% calcium oxide, 0.05% magnesium oxide, and 0.1% chlorine (and 0.11% impurities).
Fused quartz (extremely resistant do thermal shock, weathering, and temperatures up to 1,500 Celcius) is over 99% silicon dioxide. Anything in a piece of fused quartz that isn't silicon dioxide is an impurity. (It's also phosphorescent under UV light! )
But more important than the glass recipe is the equipment. For soda-lime glasses, you need at least one furnace that can reach around 1,350 cegrees Celcius and which can be turned down to around 1,100 degrees Celcius, a "glory hole" of similar temperature, an annealer which is able to be tuned from around 480 degrees Celcius to 370 degrees Celcius, blowpipes and punty rods, several differently-shaped blocks, a jack, and more I'm forgetting, I'm sure. (Oh, yes! A soggy newspaper is also a useful tool in a glassblower's arsenal. )
To be self-sufficient, you need a place and means to recycle glass (this means more than simply tossing your waste glass back into the furnace), and you probably want a cold shop for after the piece is taken out of the annealer. Not to mention the resources to keep the furnace(s), glory hole, and annealer(s) going just about 24/7. Especially the annealer(s), which you have to keep going for several days straight as you gradually reduce the temperature, to avoid cracking the new piece with thermal shock.
Nooo Ted she's playing you don't fall for it
Some people can't be taught to understand and change their way of thinking unless you break them in first
Although, in the same boat Father, some people must continue to face unintended consequences before understanding that every action taken won't quite always lead to where intended.
The painful lessons of growth. Delicious~
Well, that's gone to hell in a hand basket. Hopefully she pulls through and the shipping starts in Ernest.
OH SHIT SON
Pandinus...
6173207 i.imgur.com/R0WuABL.gif Ding dong the wicked witch!
She will be ok! The ship demands it!
6172022
Try harder
What just happened?
Don't worry. Pandinus killed Mad King Sombra with his ass extreme speeds and time travel shenanigans. He'll be fi-. . . Oh wait, wrong story.
Oh noes! Din is dying! Do something you big derp of an alicorn. Save her ass (quite litterary it seems)!
kappit.com/img/pics/201501_1407_ifcfg.jpeg
6173181
I think most people forget Pandinus is a changeling. For changelings emotion seems to work a lot more different. Ted forgot that fact, thinking Pandinus heartless or emotionless. Thus he tried to teach her in a way that should have backfired a lot more than it did. Really, as it is, he got lucky, real lucky.
We see it is not the fact. Pandinus was ready to suffer for children, even if they were mindless drones and her love for her children was lot stronger than Ted throught. In that way, Ted really underestimated her and how far she was willing to for her own.
Basically Ted was wrong to act as he did because he didn't get to know Pandinus well enough of before pulling that kind of shit and well, Pandinus paid for his mistake. Let's hope she recovers from this.
Oh dear. Oh dear. That's about all I got. Besides worry in the extreme for Queen Huggle Buzz. Please tell me Ted wasn't too late to begin kicking her body into healing its self?
I'll give it a try just for this.
You know, while I do appreciate that you took that whole debate to heart and made Ted stand up for himself a bit, I think you might have swung a just little bit too hard in the other direction. You know, just a bit. I'm actually not quite sure whether I'm really meant to take that whole scene altogether seriously, It looka just a little bit too overdone to feel entirely genuine.
All you do is mention blood, and then it isn't enough of a mention to warrant that warning. I had thought the final scene was going to be worse than that.
...*sigh* So Ted finds a spine, then like a butter fingers, drops it the next chapter.
And I thought we might finally see a badass. Nope, guess not. But to be fair, he doesn't know that this is all apart of Pandinus's plan. So I guess we should cut him some slack.
Well, that backfired rather unpleasantly. I'm hoping Pandinus recovers and that they manage to fix their communication problems because both of them seem to say one thing but the other hears something else entirely half the time...
And re-reading the last chapter, I have to change my opinion and think that Ted went a bit overboard there. Too much, too fast.
Not entirely his fault, though, the poor guy is way out of his depth and trying to adapt as well as he can but mistakes and fuckups are inevitable. This was one of them.
That being said, Ted did need to stand up for himself and Pandinus did need a talking to. It's just too bad things didn't work out right.
This chapter was a rather unhappy one, but maybe it's the start of something good.
6173631 Your words do not compute. Are you saying this is some sort of plot, that she almost broke her mind, starved herself close to death and may have caused some sort of serious internal damage to herself just so she can fool Ted into believing... what, exactly?
Also, "badass" does not equate to "asshole".
i.ytimg.com/vi/zZxzZ1GIn8Q/hqdefault.jpg
Seriously... da fuck?
Well... i dunno wut to think anymore. I guess i just have to wait for your next chapter.
I wonder if she is laying faster than a chicken because its the natural state for a Changeling Queen when there are few to no hive members? Sort of like growth feedback, if you have lots of drones, the mental backpressure limits the egg laying, and vice versa?
Things are getting messy again, Ted has too many balls in the air and not enough snitches.
Ted pushed too hard and the queen took drastic measures to try to fulfill what she thought he asked for.
Congrats Ted. Would iit have killed you to try a more tactful approach? By the looks of things, Ted might have killed her.
I dunno. This doesn't really change my opinion of the last chapter. He did tell her to stop using his children as a way to win arguments with him. The way he shot back at her was brutal, but honestly, I doubt anything else would have gotten through to Pandinus. Plus, saying that she needed to love him back for him to get with her wasn't that strange of a request...
6173676 you do realize that the first scene in that chapter is LITERALLY Pandinus coming up with the plan she uses on Ted that same chapter. How anyone could have missed that is beyond me.
Also, yes badass means asshole. They are basically interchangeable based on perspective.
To the soldiers he frees from the POW camps Rambo is a badass.
To the soldiers who's necks he was breaking and who he was slaughtering left and right, Rambo is anasshole.
Everything we believe as right and wrong, good and bad, is all a matter of perspective based on what the majority approves of.
Therefore it can be inferred that our reality is all a matter of perspective.
That escalated kind of quickly but i'm kind of surprised that Tuna didn't realize earlier that Changeling emotions and social bonds work very different from regular people/ponies and now he has to learn that the brutal way.
Also to be honest i was expecting something far worse from that last paragraph, like an orgy of blood and gore worse, but different people have different grades of tolerance of stuff like that i guess.
so, that happened.
this will not end well. at all or for anyone else.
and for quite some time i can see this still being a platonic relationship.
Padinus hasn't figured it out -- since he can't sense emotion like she can, she needs to figure out a magical way to make him able to feel emotion in the same way. That would really freak him out.
6173256 Wow, I got a thumbs down for saying I wanted her to be ok. SOMEONE is a dick.
6173236
Well, if we want to go down the path of maximum drama, she'll live through the damage but be sterile.
I'm hoping I'm wrong about that, though.
20 bits she's sterile now.
Please be ok Din
6173596 It's teen, but still, she just exploded blood out of her vagina all over the nest. That's a bit graphic, IMO
6173257 Joke ----
Head
6173310 Hahaha, I think I can use that. Poor Gleam has no idea what she's about to get herself into.
6173827
6173631 I don't know man, not many are willing to not only starve themselves, but rip out a part of their own soul just to enact an evil plan.
6173827 Oh wow, hahahah. No.
That's not what happened at all.
This is Pandinus basically having a mental breakdown and coming up with a near-suicidal, desperate and stupid plan to prove herself to Ted. It is not Pandinus hatching a brilliant mastermind scheme to trick him into becoming her servant/slave/mind-controlled puppet, etc.
Your "perspective" argument holds no water whatsoever and has nothing to do with my statement that badass does not equal asshole. Rambo freeing POWs like a boss is badass. Rambo then turning around and kicking the POWs in the face and berating them for being such worthless fucking pussies is not badass, that's just being a massive asshole.
The perspective of the "bad guys" doesn't matter. We're not seeing things from their point of view, we're not meant to sympathize with them. It's also a terrible comparison because Pandinus isn't Ted's enemy.
[Pointless pseudo-philosophizing intensifies]