For a few moments the two just stared at each other, the changeling queen in confusion, and the alicorn in exasperation. Finally, Ted stepped into the hallways, returning a few moments later with clean linens. Before the queen could respond, he grabbed the edges of the dirty sheets in his magic, pulled them free and wrapped them and their contents up, including the queen, and levitated them to the floor. He then applied a fresh batch of linens to his mattress. Luckily, the goop didn't seem to seep through the sheets and blankets into his matress, so their was no long term damage, but he wouldn't be surprised if the sheets the queen was currently struggling out of were ruined. Walking past her into his bathroom, he came back out with a few wet rags and towels. The second the queen's head breached her prison, she was smacked in the face with a wet rag.
"Phht-blech, what are you doing?!" She yelled, attempting to bring a hoof to bare to stop the assault.
"Your disgusting, and can barely walk. If you think you're getting back on my bed like that you've got another thing coming." Ted responded, pulling away a few parts of the sheet and slapping more rags onto her form. The bath wasn't ready, but one of the unicorns had managed to get a simple heating array on a bucket, allowing him to make enough warm water to wash his face in the mornings. Slowly the bucket became more disgusting, and the changeling less so, until circling the shivering bug, he couldn't find any more of the slime.
Finishing his route, he was about to say something, but was confused by her expression. She just stared emptily ahead, shuddering every now and again. Poking her garnered no expression, and shoving her nearly sent the catatonic creature back into the soiled linens. Not willing to just put her back in the empty and cold tunnels below the temple, Ted set her on the mattress, wrapped in a blanket, and sat on the other side. He'd need to look into getting a larger one, it seemed. He was still growing, oddly enough, and the pillows and towels he used before were getting smaller as time passed. Ok, so they weren't getting smaller, but relative to him, everything was getting smaller.
Slowly dozing off, he noticed the queen give one more shiver on the bed next to him. Sighing, he pulled her a little closer, letting his body heat keep her warm. She was an insect, right? They didn't generate their own body heat as far as he knew. It was probably why she was so cold despite the warm water. She'd been shivering almost the entire time he was wiping her down. Hopefully by the time her chitin hardened she'd be a bit more resistant to the cold.
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The next morning started normally for the alicorn, though he did have to free himself from the surprisingly strong grip of the queen. Breakfast was wonderful, a few of Slop's vegetable cakes with a side of whatever meat the gnolls, griffin and thestrals had found the prior day. The ponies in the hall chattered happily, a good sign to him, and several seemed quite attached to those they sat next to, as he saw many nuzzles and kisses between followers. Ted grinned at the displays. A person only started actively pursuing love when their other needs were met. Therefore, such displays meant he was doing his job, right? Unfortunately, there was not much more he could accomplish with his current amassment of followers at the moment. Things would have to be allowed to settle, the ponies would need to finish the plans he'd already laid out, and he'd need to expand his influence, either by recruitment, a dangerous route considering it publicized his presence more than he already had, or allowing his current followers to, well, multiply. That was safer, but unlike real time strategy games, a foal was not born at full strength, and the mother would be all but incapacitated towards the end of the pregnancy if it was anything like the human process. Before he could let his mind segue into the genetics involved in a pegasus and a unicorn having a child, he was approached by Mirage, the changeling scowling as she drew near.
"Couldn't wait for that, could you? Her chitin wasn't even properly hardened before you got your hooves on her, I'll bet. I knew, I just knew there was a stupid reason you were keeping her, but for something as simple as that? It's shameful, that's what it is! The highest form of a changeling reduced to, to that!"
"Mirage what are you talking about?" Ted asked the raving shape shifter.
"What am I talking about?!? I, I... You don't actually know, do you? Oh by the First Mother, you really don't. But, but I could sense them from the nursery! The pheromones! The queen was throwing them off like she was... Like you were, well, claiming her last night!"
"Claiming her? What the- oh, oh no no no, I never touched her like that, the thought never reached my mind. No, all I did was knock her and her old shell off my bed, clean my sheets, and wipe that mess off her. She was cold afterwards, so I let her stay with me. She's going to have to go back to her room after this is all settled and her new shell hardens. The only reason I've let her stay so long is because she's been weak the last few days."
"Wiped her, wait, you touched her after she molted?! Do you have any idea how sensitive chitin is after a molt?" At his confused stare, the changeling buried her face in her hooves. "Stars and Sun above, you really have no clue."
"Wait, are you saying that I, by wiping her down while she was still soft I..."
Mirage nodded "I could smell her from down the hallway. So could the nymphs, but I don't think they knew what was going on, just that a queen was nearby, which made them happy. Of course, I'd react the same way she did, if someone hit every point on my body right after a molt."
"Oh my god, she wasn't cold she was... oh my god." Ted wasn't sure he should laugh or cry at this newest bit of information. "Anything else I should be worried about? Anything else I should avoid doing to avoid unintentionally molesting some of my followers?"
Despite the absurdity of the situation Mirage chuckled. "Changelings are most sensitive after a molt, but otherwise it's the same rules for pony contact. We also happen to keep some sensitivity from our horns or wings when we shape shift though, so watch your hooves. I don't know anything about griffins or gnolls though, we were always told to avoid them. Griffins hate changelings with a passion, something about having no honor, and gnolls? Well, this is the first time I've seen them, they don't come close to pony cities."
"And dragons are a bunch of horn dogs, right? I mean, I know I've only run into one, but he seemed really preoccupied with finding a dragoness to keep him company." Ted said with a grin. Sahkest would laugh himself hoarse if he heard about this incident. Suddenly his grin fell. Oh god, Luna would never let him hear the end of it. She'd probably also go into explicit detail of all the spells she'd learned over the years to 'improve the experience.' Nope, there was no way he was letting that mare get that from him.
Shaking his head, he returned his focus to the smaller changeling mare. "No, Mirage, I didn't do anything to her intentionally, nor did I know about your kinds sensitivity after a molt." He chuckled a bit, before a thought struck him. "Speaking of doing things, how have you been sleeping? I've been keeping a sound dampening spell over the nursery these last few days."
"For which I've been extremely grateful, Father. Grift says he's been having a hard time sleeping, though I don't think it bothers him all that much. I offered to let him sleep in the nursery with me, but he's getting fat off all the emotions flying around the dorms at night. A few more days in there and he'll be too fat to fly. As much as it pains me to admit this, we may need to start storing some of the emotions were picking up. I'd ask the queen, but I'm not really ready to talk to her. Could you mention it to her? Maybe ask her if she would mind a part of the nest being used in that way, or even an extension built into the nest for the food storage? I'd ask Gleam for a place, but while she's been nice to me and the nymphs, I don't think she's ready to see that. It tends to, well, scare most ponies."
Ted nodded. "I'll ask her, though I don't know when. I'm probably going to be avoiding her while I figure out how to apologize over this whole incident."
Just then the background chatter slowly started to die, drawing the two's attention to the entrance. Trotting up to Ted with a large grin on her face was the changeling queen. She passed Mirage without a second thought, before stepping onto the slightly raised platform Ted's chair sat on, and planting a kiss on the shocked alicorn's lips.
"That was wonderful, thank you." She said, before giggling and trotting off, slowing about halfway to the door to look back and wiggle her flank at him, before continuing out the door.
The alicorn just sat there, staring after the queen, jaw hanging open even as every set of eyes in the room was on him. Mirage snickered, than exploded into a full out laugh, before turning to him.
"Yea, good luck with that."
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"I swear, the more time I spend on this planet, the less sense it makes." Ted muttered to himself, reading yet another spell book in the library. No matter what scenario he put through his mind, he couldn't think of a way to break it to the queen that he wasn't actually interested in her. He was a busy stallion after all, and she was, well...
'A half-starved bug horse that I pulled out of a creepy cave and held on to in order to spite this evil in the sky I've been told about so often.' Actually, it wasn't all that true. She certainly was looking healthier than the skeletal thing he'd carried into the port about a week or so ago. Not only that, most of the plates didn't follow her through the molt. Did that mean she felt safe here, willing to drop her natural armor on the belief that she didn't need it anymore? Why would she think that?
Ted's face hit the desk a moment later, his horn goring the hapless book he'd been reading. 'Because she has a big strong demi-god to protect her now. So having a more attractive form would trump self-defense in this case.'
He'd asked for this. He'd literally gone up to fate and said 'Hey, since things are going so smoothly, think you can spice things up for me again? It's getting too close to normal over here.' And fate, being the gigantic dick it was, looked at him and smiled, saying 'Sure thing, pal! How about an amorous bug thing you know nothing about? No, don't worry, just be nice and shit will happen on its own. After all, the entire changeling race is hunted just for existing, surely helping her won't cause any issues!'
"I asked for this. I asked for this so hard."
"Asked for what?" A voice said as hoofsteps reached his ears. "And why are you killing a spell book with your horn?"
Ted raised his head to look at the visitor, only to have the book slide down his horn, further obscuring his vision. Lighting his horn and attempting to pull the book off, he stopped about half-way to his goal, wracked by alien sensations that sent shivers down his back as the book rubbed against his actively channeling horn. Defaulting to his hooves, he managed to finally get the book off, spotting Shadow Weaver trading books on farming for books on construction planning.
"I've done that before." The unicorn said. "The 'getting things stuck on your horn and trying to take it off with magic' thing. One learns not to do that fair quickly, or we learn to do it faster. Strange feeling. Heard some unicorns enjoy it, though. Just gives me the chills."
"Only the most recent oddity I've run into. It turns out changelings are very sensitive to touch after molting, and I used wet rags to wipe the goop off of the new queen right after she molted, sending her to changeling nirvana."
"Not sure where or what nirvana is, but I don't think your talking about the state of Neighvada, right? I'm going to assume it's another term for Elysium. The open fields in the sky?" The alicorn nodded. "Well, your Darkness, I guess you're just going to have to stallion up and talk to her about it."
Ted stopped short, the smile falling from his face as he looked at the pony that a week ago was practically cowering in his presence. The focus seemed to bring the fear back into Weaver's eyes, uncomfortable doubt turning quickly into an almost hysterical fear.
"I, I'm sorry, Master!" The stallion said, dropping into a grovel. "I don't know what came over me! I've been getting too lax in my prayers, and allowed myself to fall from the path! I promise to say my prayers every morning like I should be, I'll even go to Blur's sermons more often if you want I just-"
"Shadow!" Ted cut the rambling unicorn off. "Relax, you just surprised me. I took no offense to your words." Seeing the pony twisting to lock an eye from his prone position with the alicorn, Ted smiled. "In fact, that kind of thing is why I asked you and Gleam to be more relaxed when it's just us making plans. What good are advisors if you ignore what they say and harm them for disagreeing with you?" Ted laughed at a returning memory, looking back at the unicorn who slowly picked himself up off the floor. "I just remembered something. Next time we make a large-scale plan, we'll get Rose to take a look at it before we implement it, ok?"
"W-what? Why?"
"Rule twelve: One of my advisors will be a small child. Any flaws in my plans he or she can find will be corrected before implementation." Ted said, still chuckling. "It's a list from long ago, a long list of things that most rulers forget. These things often end up with the ruler dying in a painful and ironic way. When our workload lightens up, I'll share some of them with you. If nothing else, it should give you an idea of what to watch out for so you can warn me. When I read them before, it was for a laugh or two, but the more I think about them, the more I want to write them down. It's actually why I want everyone to be happy. Happy followers are loyal followers, unlikely to let a hero who wants to kill me even get into the Temple."
Shadow just stared at him for a moment, eyes glazed with the simple idea. The Nightmare was inspiring fierce loyalty, he knew that from watching Blur preach, and when he'd asked her, she'd not shown any hints of a mind control spell. That zealotry was one hundred percent natural. By making his followers happy, he didn't have to show his power every day to cow the masses. They followed because he was better than the alternative.
Ted chuckled once more at the lost look on the stallions face, followed by what he imagined was enlightenment, before turning back to his book.
The one with a hole right where he was reading.
"Fuzz nuggets."
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At last, the alicorn sat before chamber the queen had taken as her nest. The tunnel now even had a door stuck to the strange material that covered the chamber, allowing the room to be fully closed off from the rest of the Temple. Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door, waited a moment, then opened it.
"Visiting me again already?" The queen asked coyly, her grin visible by the reflection of light on her fangs. "I thought you'd at least wait until the sun went down."
"I'm not here because of last night. Actually, forget that. I am here because of last night, that and something else, just not in the way you're implying." Ted responded, walking up to her as she was building separate sections to the tunnel. She looked a bit darker now that her outer shell had time to harden, though he swore he saw some short fuzz on some of the softer plates of chitin.
"First things first, are you ever going to tell me your name, or am I going to have to call you Queen Huggle-Buzz? Because I will."
The mare stopped dead at his statement, whipping around with a snarl. "If you ever try to call me something like that, I will feed you your own wings!"
"Then give me something to call you." Ted said, unaffected by the explosion of anger.
The queen calmed herself, before trotting forward to meet him. "How about a trade, hmm? Mine for yours?"
"Nightmare." Ted said. The queen immediately turned her head and made a gagging noise.
"Please, at least put some effort into the lie. I can taste emotions remember?" She said. "Not to mention that name, it doesn't feel right. I've felt names before, warm, safe and delicious, and that wasn't it."
Ted raised an eyebrow at the nickname, but was silent. His own or the one Luna gave him? Would his original name read as incorrect to magic senses? Technically, he didn't feel like the new one was his either.
'Why not both?'
"Theodore Cimmerian Fredson." He answered. Maybe that would work, using it as a middle name. He knew many people back home had middle names, and he didn't. At the very least it gave him someplace to put the new name.
The queen seemed to chew this information for a moment, most likely trying to verify it in her own way, before nodding.
"When a queen molts, her name becomes clear to her. I am Queen Pandinus." She said, raising a hoof. Ted met the hoof with his own, grasping it with his hoof's pastern and locking it around hers. The queen looked confused at his positioning for a moment, before nodding at the surprisingly strong grip it yielded.
"Thank you, it's a pleasure to have you here. The second thing I'd like to discuss was our, contact last night. I was approached by Mirage this morning-"
Pandinus giggled at the mention of the mare "Ah, the clutch-nurse. She doesn't like me that much, does she?"
"As I was saying," Ted continued. "She approached me this morning and told me about the sensitivity of your kind after a molt, and I'd like to apologize and clear up the confusion. I didn't mean anything other than kindness, and hope you forgive me for the touching you in such a way without permission." He said, bowing his head slightly. "I've not found an interest in you, nor am I looking for a, uh, partner at the moment. Sorry for any confusion." Turning to leave, he was stopped by a giggle.
"Really, now? If that's what you can do without trying, I can't wait to see what you can manage with some actual effort."