//------------------------------//
// I'd say Screw the Everfree Forest... 
// Story: The Substitute Demon 
// by Reykan 
//------------------------------//

	The group was back on the deck of the ship early the next day despite the still falling temperature. Zelus' bracer was now working in tandem with a blanket and her pony slash mobile heat source to keep the queen warm as she played back seat combatant to the alicorn. 

"No, you idiot. You don't parry a weak side strike, you step out of it's range. Otherwise they have the perfect opportunity to strike at you with their other limbs while you waste time and energy with a full block. Tartarus, just use your hoof, it's not like he has the power to split it even with a full strike."

"Why the buzz are you just standing there? Move forward! Crush your opponent! You don't win fights by staring at them, you're not a cockatrice!"

"Even Sapphire knows better than to try and overpower an opponent that is properly braced, fool. I could see them preparing the throw the second they settled themselves and waited for you!"

Cimmerian took her comments in stride, knowing the queen was just burning frustration at his being trained 'incorrectly' by the guards. Taking a moment to let the deck stop spinning, the alicorn turned to the queen and shot her a question.
"How the hell did you train so aggressively and not kill the drones you were training with? I mean, I assume your mother couldn't always take the time to train you personally, and learning from several teachers can sometimes help with such a wide subject."

"I did kill them," Zelus answered, to the abject horror of those around her. "Or at least, the true drones mother moved their consciousness to. After that, they'd snap back to their true bodies and the next would begin fighting me."

Cimmerian stared at her in disbelief.
"That is both disgustingly brutal, and horribly inefficient. Your hive was suffering from a food shortage and you were throwing away the resources to raise those drones."

"Not really," the queen replied lazily. "Mother would switch to producing true drones for a while every now and again, as they don't require as much food as a fathered drone. Pandinus told you queens need to lay eggs no matter the circumstances, correct? We would sometimes end up with several hundred spares we had no use for. Using them like that at least helped teach me to fight properly, instead of them just sitting around wasting space."

"I can't exactly do that with my guards, Zel. I break something, and they'll have to live with it," the stallion explained.

The queen blinked as she looked to the guards, as if the idea hadn't occurred to her. She fixed a stare at the unicorn sitting beside her only to receive a burning glare in return, Trixie daring her to try and volunteer the unicorn for such a purpose.

Zelus sighed in defeat, "Okay, so you can't use my methods here. Perhaps when we get back to the Temple though, we can do it my way."

"Well, now that we know why Zelus is telling me to kill my own guards, how about some lunch?" the stallion suggested, clopping his front hooves together." Last chance to fill up on decent food before we're stuck on trail mix for a while."

The shape shifter rolled her eyes, as did her charge.
"I agree, Sapphire. For a given definition of 'decent' food."

Just after the break for lunch the captain approached the group, warning the alicorn that they were approaching the point of divergence; the airship would be banking due south soon, leaving the Everfree Forest behind it.
The group quickly gathered up their supplies and made their final checks, Cimmerian making certain the unicorn was properly secured to the changeling queen's back. Trixie had begun to fidget a little more, but it was nowhere near enough control to hold onto the queen during flight if Zelus became distracted. The larger mare had huffed at his insistence, stating that if she couldn't focus on both an attacker and Sapphire at the same time she'd reform herself as a drone with her next molt.

"It's not that I don't trust you, Zel. It's just a thing. Better safe than sorry. 'Sides, this will allow you to put your full focus into the problem if something does go wrong. We may need to leave her up there too, depending on how thick the foliage is."
Seeing the unicorn glaring at him from her tied down position, he chuckled pitifully at her.
"You're not the only one who can't wait till you can move freely again, Trixie. It means we'll be able to let you do your own thing instead of keeping you nearby."

Securing his own supplies, several large bundles and his own large saddlebags, the group lifted off the airship and flew down to the tree line. Landing lightly, the group did yet another check of their supplies, this time making certain all their packs were properly secured to make the rest of the journey on hoof.

One of the griffon guards, Raymond, frowned as the alicorn meticulously inspected each strap and tie.
"Have you done this before, sir? I don't think my own mother checked my packs as thoroughly as you have."

"I have, though it was years ago in the scouts. One of the guys I was with was talking about keeping your stuff secure so you don't lose it. Some of us listened while others laughed off the warning. Next thing some of us know, several of the guys are missing canteens, extra cloths, one guy even dropped his sleeping bag somehow. We're not really going to be able to backtrack if this place is as bad as I've been told, so we need to be ready to go. On the other hand, the knots I have you guys using can be undone quickly in an emergency. Pull the second string to undo it. That way you're not trapped under all that gear if the processed biological waste hits the rotating air circulation device."

Seeing the uncomprehending stares, the alicorn took a few moments to look around, realizing the line, even in clear English, was likely useless on this world.
"When the shit hits the fan?"

"What's a fan?" the queen asked, looking to one of the griffons, who shrugged in confusion.

"It's, I... never mind, it means you'll be able to drop the gear in a hurry if everything goes pear-shaped."

"What do pears have to do with the jungle?" Crescent asked him, still looking horrifically confused.

"You. Can. Drop. The gear. If things. Go. Badly," Cimmerian enunciated clearly in frustration.

Zelus rolled her eyes while her charge gurgled something.
"I agree with Sapphire, if that's what you meant, why didn't you say it?"

One of the griffon guards shook his head.
"No, I want to know what an air circulation device and poo has to do with our situation, why would you bring that up?"

Planting his rear on the snowy grass heavily, the alicorn gave a tired stare at the griffon.
"Fans are usually made with metal or plastic blades that are angled and spin really fast to move air. What do you think would happen if shit hit a fan?"

"Oh..." the guards muttered, looking at each other as understanding finally was achieved.

A sudden hard landing nearby caused all the guards except the queen to jump, reaching for their weapons, but the alicorn merely approached the new arrivals with a welcoming smile.
"Glad to see you could make it Eloise. Thank you for coming out here for us."

The orange pegasus trotted forward, greeting the alicorn with much less hostility this time.
"You're headed to my old stomping grounds, I wouldn't miss the chance to regroup with an old friend of mine under the guise of official business. Besides, we've gotten lost in there enough times to know a few tricks. If you're not careful, the Everfree can tear up even the strongest units."

Trotting up beside the pegasus, a light yellow earth pony mare bowed in greeting.
" 'Sa pleasure ta meet ya in person, Mr Cimmerian. Yer a lot bigger in person, it seems."

The alicorn returned the bow and the greeting, "Pleasure's mine, Apple Bloom. Though I do have to wonder why both of you are here."

"It has to do with the magic o' the Everfree," Apple Bloom explained. "It can be right nasty if ya don't have the proper magical load out. Earth ponies have it easier in tha forest as we're anchored to Equis. Otherwise, ya can end up half-way cross the forest one minute, and two leagues south o' where ya started the next."

"I see. Shadow Weaver told me that what scared ponies about it was how it functioned on its own, nothing was mentioned about random teleportation," Cimmerian told the mare with a frown. "I would think that kind of information would rate a bit more unnerving than lack of enforced order."

"Shucks, there's plenty a' places where the magic o' the world gets a lil' wobbly. Everfree is the only place on Equis that functions totally independent of all outside control though."
Apple Bloom's smile dropped a bit, seeing the changeling queen's cargo. "Mr. Cimmerian, who's that? Ah swear Ah've seen that mare before."

Zelus moved forward, recognizing the pony from the alicorn's dream walking.

"This is the Great and Powerful Sapphire!" Zelus said, splaying a hoof out in a grandiose pose that sent the stallion groaning in exasperation. Zelus then scowled at her passenger the mare obviously not happy with the ruined introduction.
"I don't care, I like that name better. And I'm not going to waste my magic doing some petty explosions. Who do you take me for, your lackey? It's the other way around, pony!"

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom both stared at Cimmerian, hoping for some sort of explanation. Seeing their pleas, he answered.
"The mare's name is Trixie. We found her in Silver City a few days ago. She was messed up by the Mad Queen in much the same way Cadance was, only she didn't retain control of her body. She's getting better and she can fidget a bit now, but it's a slow process.

Apple Bloom, still not quite understanding the situation, turned to her pegasus friend for an answer.

"When I was at the Temple of the Shadows, where Lord Cimmerian is based, I saw Princess Cadance," the orange mare explained" She, she didn't look too good, Bloom. Had this weird thing on her cheek, and she kinda' clung to him the entire time. Her feathers were also pretty ragged."

Cimmerian nodded in agreement with the purple maned mare, "Cadance is doing much better now. In fact, Din and Amare are teaching her to use the array for her own benefit. While I don't think Trixie will be able to use it the same way, she will likely be able to talk to anyone in the hive that's close enough to hear her. That's how she's talking right now, actually. She tells Zelus what she wants, and Zelus passes the message to us. Not ideal by a long shot, but it's better than being mute."
The stallion looked over the mares, making note of their bags and supplies.
"Thanks for agreeing to hold our hands on this little expedition through the woods."

"Gotten lost in there enough times to know most of the things you'd run into, at least near Ponyville. Zecora taught me how ta take care of mahself if Ah need to go in there for anythin'," the farmer replied. "Just follow us, an' don't touch nothing without askin' first!"

Nodding in understanding, Cimmerian turned to the guards.
"Right, you guys heard the lady. No licking the trees, no tasting the rocks, and no fetching the sticks, no matter how brown and sticky they may be."

The griffons chuckled at the alicorn's rules while the thestrals and the queen gave him a confused look. Zelus' faded a moment later, the mare on her back likely clueing her in on the sarcasm. Turning back to their new guides, the group ventured into the forest; Scootaloo and Apple Bloom in front, the thestrals next, Cimmerian, Zelus, and then the griffons.

"First things first, don't wander off on your own. Try to keep in sight of each other at all times. While the Everfree doesn't randomly teleport someone away the second no one's looking, it may do so if you wander too far off. You also need to be moving for it to teleport you, so you can sleep without worrying about that. If you can hear each other, your close enough."

Apple Bloom nodded in agreement before giving the second point.
"The second thing ya gotta worry 'bout in the Everfree is it's all about wild magic. I don't mean like nopony's controlin' it, Ah mean like it tends to mess with any other magic that enters it. Even the trails blazed bah earth ponies fade really fast. The only ones that stay are older than the forest itself. That or ponies that have earned the forests respect, like Zecora. Ahm not sure how, but sometimes a pony that spends a lot of time aroun' the Everfree just seems to have an easier time of it."

"And the third thing is, you don't bucking use fire spells in the forest." Scootaloo said, looking at the only casters in the group. "Almost every time a unicorn doesn't come back out is because they used a fire spell. The body, or the last place the pony was would be found with scorch marks around it, and that was it. After that, the Everfree stops playing Ms. Nice Mare."

Crescent snorted in amusement.
"I was under the impression that the Everfree Forest is already brutal. Wha-"

"Don't tempt fate, idiot," Cimmerian said with unusual seriousness, releasing the mare's muzzle from his aura before addressing the rest of the group.
"If I hear anyone asking how things could get worse, or saying it could get worse, any of the multitude variations of such phrases, or any other such invocations of Murphy's Law, you better hope whatever shows up kills you because if it doesn't I will."

"Who's Murphy?" Zelus asked from her position in the line.

"Murphy's Law is as follows," the stallion explained, subconsciously going into lecture mode. "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. The extension says that it will likely go wrong at the most inopportune time, or that the thing that goes wrong will be the thing that will cause the most damage. There are also hundreds of variations, like the harder an itch is to reach, the worse it will itch and my personal favorite, if things are going well, you've overlooked something."

"Sounds like paranoia to me," Raymond muttered, eyes wandering the thickening foliage.

Cimmerian brightened at the comment.
"Ah, that's another good one. It's only paranoia until someone tries to kill you. Then it's foresight."

That one drew a laugh from the queen.
"Indeed. I do remember watching ponies scold their own for being too cautious. Those were usually the ones we liked to target, the ones who ridiculed others for their caution. It was fairly obvious they didn't pay much attention to their surroundings."

Apple Bloom shot a long look at Scootaloo after hearing that comment. The orange mare responded by rolling her eyes and turning back to the queen.
"Do you have any plans of using that now?"

"I have ready access to emotion, a home, and a hive," the shape shifter responded easily. "Unless I find the need to infiltrate another country or city, I see no reason to. Why?"

"'Cuz talkin' like that makes ya sound kinda evil, Miss Changelin'," Apple Bloom told the queen dryly.

Zelus rolled her eyes.
"Ah yes, when a changeling kidnaps a pony to feed the hive, it's evil. When ponies start wiping out changeling hives it's justice, correct? Please tell me again what the enslavement of my species does to benefit your race?"

Wincing at the remark, Scootaloo looked back at the alicorn.
"You're just going to let her talk like that?"

"I fail to see why I should intervene," Cimmerian said coolly, not looking at the queen or the earth pony. "I'm not going to stop her every time she insults someone. Not only does she need to learn to interact with others without me holding her ha-hoof the entire time, I didn't hear a retort from either of you. Who's ruler is it that's wiping out the other races again?"

Both Equestrians went silent at that, the queen holding her head high with a victorious grin on her face. Cimmerian shook his head. Hopefully this wouldn't be their entire trip. He didn't need his guides and his guards at each other's throats.

"I understand these are extenuating circumstances, that Twilight's not a bad person. But you're going to have to remember what I've told Din, and what I've been trying to teach Zelus. It's not the truth of the situation. It's also how everything looks to everyone around you."



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The group made decent progress through the woods, only a few close brushes with the strange creatures of the forest that had slowed them only slightly. The forest had quickly turned temperate despite the snow and cold outside the tree line, causing most of the group to stop and pack up their cold weather gear. Zelus was the happiest of all, finally no longer needing to rely on the bracers for comfort.

The odd wolves they'd seen, Timberwolves Scootaloo had called them to Cimmerian's endless amusement, were a very tempting target for fire spells. The alicorn had caught himself several times thinking about how well a simple fire-ray would work, igniting the entirety of a pack. Zelus wasn't much better, her instinctive reaction in combat being to use the most efficient mode of eliminating her opponent going against the rules of their guides. She'd managed to hold off so far, but Cimmerian had taken to reminding her every time a wolf had prodded their defenses. After the third time and the queen almost aiming a spell at him though, he explained it was as much a reminder for himself as it was for her.

After the third time Zelus had waded into a small group of forest creatures, Trixie had been passed to the alicorn for her own safety. While Zelus was capable of defending herself, she was also used to allowing glancing blows to slide off of her chitin. Trixie may have had some plating, but those claws and teeth would sooner or later find something softer to connect with on the immobile mare. Not an hour after the unicorn had been passed off, Cimmerian heard Trixie sigh in relief as Zelus charged in to fight the latest 'random encounter' as he'd taken to calling them.
The creature was a large blue blob of slime, at least six feet in height and nine feet wide, much like some of the basic enemies he remembered from so many video games. Several pseudopods formed as the queen closed, swinging at and attempting to either bat away or ensnare the changeling. Zelus dodged them all, squealing in gleeful triumph as she drove her spear into the gelatinous mass, only to be swatted away when the creature didn't seem to register the strike.

"Of course it wouldn't just roll over and die like a good little mob," Cimmerian muttered as he launched two shadow blades at the creature. The blades were Luna's version, as he had no desire to splatter the creature over the landscape just to find out it was acidic. They passed through the creature with little visible effect and dissipated in the forest behind it, much to the alicorn's chagrin.
"Look for some kind of nucleus or something inside that would function as a brain."

Either not hearing his words or too lost in her own rage at her attack having no effect, Zelus charged again, this time with her blades drawn. She began hacking and slashing through the tentacles, even scoring a few useless hits against the main body. The shape shifter squawked in surprise as the goo changed thickness on her, leaving both of her blades stuck in its mass. The creature took advantage of her momentary surprise, quickly nabbing her with its tentacles and attempting to drag her into its mass, including a single tentacle wrapped around her horn to prevent casting. The queen held her ground for several seconds before the creature took a different approach, rolling forward and right over the queen.

"Dammit Zelus!" Cimmerian shouted, still looking for a weakness as the other guards continued trying to fire arrows or bolts into the creatures mass. He soon spotted it, surprisingly close to the flailing queen that was being pulled into the center of the slime. A large blob that was nearly indistinguishable from the rest of the beast.
'Never thought biology class would save my life, or that of a friend.'

The dark alicorn shifted his body, not daring to fire a spell with the queen inside the slime.
"Trixie, see the circular shape near Zelus? I need you to tell her about it! It's gotta be the weak spot, the brain of the entire slime."

To the alicorn's joy, the queen stopped flailing, the information having been passed from the unicorn to her via the link. The queen twisted, pulling yet another blade from her pack and flailed downwards, finding some sort of purchase on the ground even through the muck. With a powerful push off of the ground, she propelled herself forwards and up, driving the blade into the creatures core before ripping the blade free, spilling the core's contents into the rest of the creature.

Deprived of its core the beasts pseudopods fell limp, allowing Cimmerian and the others to rush forward and begin digging the queen out of the slime. It took only a few moments but he finally managed to pull her out by the tail, the queen instantly beginning to hack and cough as fresh air rushed into her lungs.

"Holy shit, Zel. You gotta be more careful about animals in the forest," the stallion said, lifting the queen's head up off the ground. Seeing her slit pupils looking unfocused and slightly bloodshot, he swore loudly, pressing an ear against her muzzle to be certain her chocking wasn't just reflex. He let out a breath of relief when he felt her exhale, but still went about using a spare towel to remove the ooze from her muzzle.

"..I-it.." the queen gurgled, breaking into a coughing fit. Several chunks of slime escaped her throat during her coughing, the changeling breathing a little easier with the obstruction gone.

"What's wrong with her? She was coughing, so she's not dead right?" Scootaloo asked, looking over the queen for any cuts or punctures in her chitin.

Her breathing finally stabilizing once more, the shape shifter attempted to speak once more.
"It's in my everywhere," Zelus quietly sobbed, using a hoof to weakly wipe at more of the grime.



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The group had quickly decided it was for the best to remove as much of the slime from their persons as possible, and to do so as quickly as possible. Finding a small stream, Zelus had wasted no time checking it for any more unpleasant surprises before running a wet rag over the entirety of her form, all the while chanting a continuous 'ew ew ew ew ew!'
Cimmerian chuckled quietly at the queen's antics. Just an hour ago she was rearing and ready to take on anything the forest threw at her. Now she wanted nothing more than to curl up in the deepest part of her hive and pretend the fight never happened.
'At least everyone lived to laugh this off. I thought slimes were supposed to be the easiest things to kill, not nearly capable of killing one of the strongest in our group.'

"Cimmerian!" Zelus shouted from nearby, rushing over to him with three towels in her aura.
"I can't, it's still there, you're going to help, now!"

Flinching back as the queen nearly hit him with one of her ooze-covered towels, the alicorn looked around at the others present before turning back to the queen.
"Why me? Can't you have Crescent or one of the other girls take care of this?"

"Fool, the goo is in my wings and under my shell, do you think I'm going to trust them with such a thing?" she quietly hissed at him. "I won't have creatures that are not of my hive touching the insides of my elytra."

Squeezing the excess water from his towel and carefully running it over her back and removing the slime, the alicorn sighed to himself, realizing the awkward position his wife had unintentionally put him in.
'She considers Din her sister, and I'm Din's mate, so I guess that makes me part of Zelus' hive. I think I remember Din saying something about queen's not letting anyone near their backs like this.'

"I'm sick of this place. I want to go home already," the changeling whined, vigorously scrubbing several locations with her other towels. The queen suddenly snarled, baring her fangs at someone who had gotten a little too close while her wings were being cared for.

Scootaloo backed up quickly at the unexpected display of aggression.
"Whoa! Easy there, Queen Rush, I was just going to offer-"

"I have enlisted Cimmerian's aid already, pony. Back off before I-"

"Relax Zelus," Cimmerian whispered, leaning to her ear. "She doesn't know about the wing thing. Wing care among flying military units is considered important, so she's just following her own culture's rules. She'd be expected to help her friends, and they'd help her."
Turning to the orange mare, he smiled apologetically.
"Changeling queen's are protective of their wings and the skin underneath them, Scootaloo. It's nothing personal, she just doesn't want anyone she doesn't know that well near them."

"Speaking of being near wings," he continued, turning back to Zelus, "Why do you trust me with this?"

"Pandinus spoke highly of your ability to care for her wings," the mare explained. "Said you knew exactly what to do and what not to do to them. I assume she was speaking from personal experience considering she seemed to reflect quite thoroughly on your abilities afterwards. From what I have felt, she was not misleading me. You haven't pulled or pushed them while wiping them down as I expected you to. Thank you."

"It's no problem, Zelly," the stallion said with a smirk, ignoring her glare, "I'm just glad you made it out of that okay. You had me worried for a bit there, I thought you'd stopped breathing. Just be careful, because we may run into another one of those things, or something similar. You're my guard, and that means protecting me. While it does count as protecting me when you kill everything that looks at me funny, it doesn't help me when you manage to get yourself killed. Din would probably be pretty upset if that happened."

The queen cocked her head in confusion, the towels ceasing their work for a moment.
"Why would she be upset? You're the one the hive needs."

"Don't sell yourself short, Zelus. You're one of two queen's currently capable of reproducing at the Temple. If something happens to Din, you're next in line. She's learned to care for those who live with her like I do, and that includes you."
Wiping away the last visible bit of slime, the alicorn pulled the queen's elytra shut with his magic before pulling her into a comforting hug.
"That, and all of our hard work on teaching you about living our way would have been for nothing. I don't like teaching others just to have them die on me."

The queen turned to stare at him a few moments, leaning towards him till her muzzle was just shy of his own.
"Din was right," the queen mused, "You taste strange sometimes. It's a different kind of love. I think she called it familial love? I never really noticed the difference in taste, but it's there. Thank you for the snack."

Watching her trot over to her gear he stared in confusion, the unicorn still tied to his back heaving with muffled laughter.

"Shut up, Trixie."

The blue mare heaved even harder.



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It wasn't even dinner of the first day in the forest and Cimmerian's group was getting sick of it. Between the all the random encounters with wild life, the twisted paths that were sometimes overgrown with vegetation, forcing them to back track and find another route through the forest, and the times that the group had to back track because their guides said an open field wasn't safe, the alicorn and his guards were becoming frustrated.

"For what reason are we turning around now? It's another open field, why can't we just go forward?" Zelus asked Apple Bloom in frustration. The mare rolled her eyes, walking up to the field and stopping just shy, pointing to the seemingly innocuous field of flowers.

Cimmerian cautiously scanned the field, looking for some sort of snout or muzzle poking out of the vegetation.
"I don't know, I'm waiting for some sort of dragon to be hiding under it all. A safe, open field in this forest? Bullshit."

"There's nuthin' under the flowers, trust me," the yellow mare said. "It's the flowers themselves we gotta avoid. It's called poison joak. Stuff is mean if your not careful around it. If ya walk through it, it leaves a jynx on ya, like mah sis got turned really small while Twalight's horn went limp. S'kinda funny in hindsight, but it wasn't very fun at the time considerin' they thought this zebra, Zecora, had cursed them."

"We're turning around for a damn plant?!?" the queen shouted. "Why the hell don't we just- no, I'm done with this!"

Seeing the queen trot up to the field, her horn glowing with energy, Cimmerian's eyes wide as he realized her intent. Even as the rest of the group took off in the other direction to put as much distance between themselves and the queen as possible he galloped over to her, attempting to contact her horn with his own to dispelling her gathered energy before she could unleash the spell that would likely doom them all.
He was too late though, a torrent of changeling green flames flooding from the queen's horn and over the field. The effect was instantaneous, the green flames quickly being replaced by a cloud of blue smoke that seemed to rear up as if alive. It came crashing down on the queen and the alicorn, engulfing them both in the shimmering spores.

Were it normal joak it likely would have had little to no effect on the stallion, but charged by the queen's own magic he felt it burning all over his body. The swirling cloud was finally fading as he passed out several paces from the changeling, but he managed to utter one last thing before everything went black.

"God damn it, Zelus."