Ted sat on the blanket, sipping his favorite drink, listening to the princess ramble. Well, ex-princess according to her. He'd gotten a few tidbits of current information before she'd decided to try the strange drink her companion was partaking of, and that's when he learned a very strange thing about lucid dreaming in a world with magic.
"...And then I was all depressed, and wanted Tia to let me make the night longer and she said 'No, Luna, that's not the way we do things' and I got all mad, and I asked again later, and she said 'Luna, bother me with this again, and no moon pies for a week' and I was like 'Tia, that's mean, we don't take your angel food cake from you!' and she was all like 'Yea, but I don't act like a spoiled brat' and I cried for a few days and then I got angrier, and went out to vent on some rocks and....'
It turned out that being the owner of the dream, you could influence the effects of items in your dreams. If you knew a drink had alcohol, and knew the effects alcohol had on people, you and anyone else in your dream could get drunk. Or in this case, if you knew a drink had more caffeine than was healthy...
'Good god, what have I unleashed.' On the one hand, he already had an idea of how the story went. On the other, it was nice to have some of the holes in the memories filled in by the jittering alicorn. Besides, she seemed like she needed this. He'd let her keep going for a while. Right after he changed her drink out for some Sprite.
<-(0)->
"So finally, after the Nightmare failed to stop the girls, they managed to activate the elements and purge the parasite from my mind. It cost me the majority of my power, and I was left almost the size of a filly once again, but it didn't matter to me. I was so grateful, after being a passenger in my own body for so long, being able to move my own hooves again nearly brought me to tears. Then my sister showed up, said she forgave me, that my *hic* actions weren't my own, and that she wanted her sister back and... and. *sniffle* I was just so happy."
The story seemed to be approaching it's end, and the caffeine's effect was winding down as well. Ted finally had most of the story that led up to his appearance in this world, though there was one detail that still bothered him.
"What ever happened to the armor?" He asked her.
"What armor?" The princess looked genuinely confused for a moment, still rubbing the tears from her eyes, before realization dawned upon her. "Oh, the armor the Nightmare crafted? I-" She paused, her face scrunching up in confusion, attempting to remember what was done with the relic. "I don't remember, actually. After the incident was over, my sister and I never spoke of the parasite again. I thought it faded away without the Nightmare's will to maintain it. If it didn't it may still be in the throne room of the old castle."
They really didn't give the armor created by a mind-parasite a second thought? If it was him in that situation he'd have had it either melted down into a block of metal, and launched into the sun, or sealed it in the deepest vaults he could find. Ah well, in this case, he'd let it slide, since it meant he was free now. And, you know, not in the sun. "Oh, ok. What's happened sin- after the Nightmare was purged?" Ted asked. This was what he was actually looking for, current events. Well, besides needing a mentor in mental spell-craft.
The princess smiled once again, enjoying being able to ramble, and opened her mouth to speak before the world around them rumbled. "Drat" She muttered. "It seems our time together has come to an end, Ted. Please, enjoy your day, I will do my best to seek you out tonight if you dream again. It has been nice to be able to talk to somepony again, even if they are a bit," She smiled warmly." well, strange."
"Take care, Luna."
The dark alicorn nodded as she faded from the dream, and soon, the rest of the world followed suit.
<-(0)->
Ted awoke back in his bed in the temple, and almost immediately used a flash of TK to pull the curtain on the nearby window shut. He forgot to close it last night before he'd drifted off, and now he paid the price. Being woken up at the frackin' crack of dawn. As he looked around his room at the various tomes and notes that were scattered over the and began picking them up, sorting them by what he judged were the most relevant to his situation, he felt a tug on his left wing. Turning to the sensation, he almost choked.
Curled up against his side, using the wing as a blanket to ward off the nights chill, Rose had apparently migrated to him over-night seeking warmth. He tried lifting the wing once or twice, but damn was she determined to keep her blanket. The absolutely adorable pout she made as she pulled the wing back to her didn't help him, either. No, he'd end up studying a bit more right here. It was fine, there were some spells he wanted to test before he headed out today, anyway.
About ten minutes into his practice, the door creaked open, and another cart was pushed into the room, this one with breakfast on it. Once again, the chef seemed to have outdone himself, and Rose apparently agreed, as the smell seemed to rouse her from her sleep. She sleepily blinked a few times, before leaning into Ted's side as she slowly woke up. Upon seeing the color of the fur she was lying against, the process was accelerated exponentially, and she darted back into the ruins of Fort Pillow.
'Can't win them all' Ted thought, taking a few pancakes from the cart. Making sure he had enough for himself, his current charge, and a guest, he dismissed the cart and the servants (honestly, he couldn't think of all of them as cultists, anymore. Some of them were just too soft), leaving them with the order to make sure the gatherer's were ready in two hours, and to have Gleam sent to his room as soon as she was available. That would give him plenty of time to eat, and finish his practice with a few spells he found that may be useful on the trip. Setting aside a few pancakes on two smaller plates, he was about halfway through with his own meal when he felt a hoof prodding his side. Rose had come out of her fort, and was staring right at him.
"You're... not gonna eat me, are you? They said that you would. That I was gonna be a snack for her, but your not her, right? So your not gonna..."
Pulling her over to the pancakes, he chuckeled at her logic. "No, Rose, I'm not gonna eat you. Foals are too crunchy, and they'll give me indigestion." At her splayed ears and fearful eyes, he sighed. "I'm kidding, Rose, I don't eat kids. Or foals, or children, or any other small, still-developing creatures."
It was apparently the right thing to say, as the filly relaxed slightly, moving to eat the offered pancakes. As she was finishing the first one, a knock came at the door, and Gleam stuck her head in through the slightly open door. "You wished to speak with me, sir?"
Ted smiled, beckoning her inside. "Great, you're here. I'm going to be headed out soon. I want you to watch Rose while I'm gone." As he was standing up to make his way over to his private bathroom, a thought occurred to him. "Gleam? Are there any other foals here? Or was Rose the only one to be, uh, sacrificed?
"Um, there were a few others, but Shadow Weaver said that we'd be kicking them out. Said we don't have the supplies, so they're not worth keeping around if you don't want them." The mare answered.
"I see" Ted said, Shadow Weaver, was that- wait, how did he talk to the guy three or four times without learning his name? "I assume Shadow Weaver is your leader?"
"Y-yes sir. Well, he was, sir, before you were brought back, sir."
'Dear god, she's already falling apart on me.' "Gleam, I want you to do something for me, ok? It's very important. Don't let Weaver throw the foals out. I want you to tell him that the children are under your care. Per my orders. Can you do this? Can you keep track of them while I'm gone?" The mare stared at him like he'd grown a second head. The nightmare caring about the wellbeing of foals? It was supposed to eat them, not watch over them! "Our numbers are thin, Gleam, we need every able body we can get. I won't throw away valuable followers over simple resources. Besides, that problem will be remedied by tonight." Finished with his speech, he entered the bathroom and closed the door behind him. That actually sounded well thought out, despite the fact he pulled the reason out of his flanks. Suddenly, however, his self-congratulations were cut short as a problem made itself known. Before him stood an alien toilet. One he had no idea how to use, and he really didn't want to pull from Luna's memories of how to... that would be awkward. Oh, who was he kidding, there was no way this wouldn't be awkward.
Now that he thought about it, didn't Rose still have a suppression spell or two on her? 'Ah, that would be best removed in here.' He thought to himself. 'I'm so sorry, Gleam and Rose, but the next few minutes may not be the most pleasant. For any of us.'
<-(0)->
'It could have gone worse, I suppose.'
Ted was currently trotting to the main entrance, currently the only one that the Followers of the Night hadn't blocked off due to the lack of manning. Would it be pony-ing? No, that didn't sound right, what would they use in that situation? Walking up to them, seeing them strapping up with all the spare satchels they could carry, he smiled. As far as he could tell from his study session, there wasn't much out there that could take on an alicorn, so as long as he kept track of all seven of them, everyone would make it back just fine. They had to all make it back. His followers desperately needed the morale boost, much less the supplies. As the gatherers made their final preparations, Ted did a final check on the spells he would be using today. There would be no surprises when he cast any of the spells he'd planned to use today, he'd already tested them.
There were actually holes all over most of the spells in her, no, his memories, but comparing them against each other in the apparent forty or so years he was trapped in the armor, he was able to fill in most of the holes. Actually, he'd been able to patch the vast majority of the spells he had in that way. Except that healing spell; he still had no idea what the safety attached to it was supposed to be, and until he learned that, he wasn't touching it. No need to accidentally give someone cancer trying to heal them. Or grow another limb on their shoulder. It would look kind of bad for his reputation of a God-horse if he did that.
Gathering a few satchels and vials of his own, he cast the tracking spell on each gatherer, and together they set out into the jungle. They stopped just outside the temple, as the door was closed and barricaded behind them. Those who were chosen for this were terrified, eyes darting around, ears pricking and shifting at every sound the jungle made. This would be it for the Followers, for his ponies. There was no room for error on this mission. No retries, no undo's, and no backtracks. If he lost them, he'd lose everyone in the temple as well. These ponies needed the morale almost as badly, if not more than the supplies.
No, this wouldn't do. He focused, and let some extra magic into his eyes, an intimidation spell Luna had used a few times, from what he remembered. It would suit his purpose here. Trotting into their midst, he addressed them.
"Our supplies are low, and we are going to gather as much as we can in as little time as possible." Every one of the ponies' eyes were glued to him, one even dropped all signs of fear seeing the display of raw power from the being that would safeguard their journey. "We will be making two trips today. The first is to the glade to the east. We will be gathering various greens and grasses for nourishment. We will fill our bags, before returning here. After that, we will head to the south. There is a large number of fruit trees in that area, as well as a healing spring. We will gather as much fruit as we can, and take a few vials of the water for the sick. Remain in sight at all times. If someone calls you, especially if you do not recognize the voice, let me know. Do not wander off on your own. Let's Move."
This is good. The first chapter could use some work, but I know how hard it is to start something. I like where this seems to be going, though, so keep up the good work!
Damn
This Really didn't suck.
5907322 Internet cookie if you can name the frames used. As to the first chapter, not really sure what else to do with it. The guy is kinda stuck until the second chapter, so he has nothing to do and nowhere to go but crazy.
5908196 Not sure if compliment or insult. Will assume compliment unless told otherwise. I know there are a lot of nightmare replacement fics out there, but I hate how most of them go. I also hate how they end up with all that power, and while yes, losing your *cough*man-parts is bad, there's no rhyme or reason for them all of a sudden being able to rip apart anything that looks at them funny. At least here I can say "He's stuck with half of Luna in his head, good news is he knows some nasty spells. the downside? He gets confused when talking about himself, and some of those spells are patchy at best." I'll have an example of not using patched together magic next chapter. Bad things can happen.
Interesting! Let's see where you take this
5909014 Agreed. This story deserves its zero downvotes; it has an original idea and is executing well. Hoping for more.
This isn't bad so far. The weirdly-phrased intro paragraph of the first chapter turned me off a bit, but on a second look, this is actually turning out quite nicely. I'm looking forward to more.
5910097 I guess I can see how it would look weird, but I see the Nightmare as viewing itself as a God, at least in this iteration. I've read the fractured personality stories, and I like those, but the parasite that gets too big for it's britches thing works better here. That's why all of the references to the Nightmare are capitalized.
5910118
Oh, I understand that, after re-reading it properly. At first glance it just really looks like one of those badfics written by someone who can't even keep their capitalization straight. It does the actual content an injustice, but, well, you probably know what I mean. It's kind of a reflex for me by this point.
5910130 I'm sorry I triggered your badfic reflex. Relax, it's a false alarm.
5908808
compliment
Yesterday I was on the site really bored and kinda tired and saw your fic
Now, as a rule, I usually lower my expectations when dealing with any Fan Fiction. and seeing as this was a "Human Turns into NMM" Story I was gonna skip it (Because I too was weary of all the other stories with this same set up) but thought "well I got nothing else better to do" and started reading.
At the end of Ch 1 i was like "huh. Didn't suck. and the Dude Keeps his balls? F*** Yeah."
so after reading what you got, i gotta say i Really like what you have so far and am Fallowing this to see where this story goes next.
First downvote, it was bound to happen eventually
5910744 I see the nightmare in the start as pulling power from Luna, the nightmare itself isn't that strong. Luna is an alicorn who moves the moon, and while it's my headcanon, I see her as much more capable of subtle spell-craft, where-as her sister is the sun, and a powerhouse. The nightmare would be pulling from that knowledge, and her already huge power reserves, even to the point of over-extending an alicorn, to cast this spell. Or, if you prefer, "Fuck off, it's my story, Imma do what I want!"
5910852 Ah, but it was the first roommate, Nathan, who saw the half-life 3. Don't worry, He got to enjoy the wonderfulness we never will.
5911206 Read so many of those where the dude loses his balls for no reason other than to give the dude something to whine about. He's already in an alien body, on an alien planet, and his form is that of public enemy number one. If you need to geld the guy to add more problems to his plate, you're not looking hard enough.
Wait, it says he was stuck in the armour for forty years (or so). Did I miss something when I red through this in a few minutes?
5911952
Yes. Yes it does. So I guess that means that main 6 are around 60 years old.
Pretty good. Pretty interesting. Kinda want this guy to eventually meet some of the regular cast, but I'll live even if he never sees their old faces. Your OC's are pretty good and it was nice seeing Luna.
Kinda confused about the comment about what the parasite did to the dreaming. Do you mean to imply that it made Luna unable to dream or that nobody dreamed or what?
Well done. Happy writing.
5911952
5912295
As I've said before, I've read so many "Mane six find the guy, they all make friends, everyone is happy" Bullshit stories, I wanted something different.
5912444
What are you talking about? I said the Traitor removed the dreaming world. Never said anything about the Parasite.
5912803 True. Traitor then. I'm guessing from your response that this might be foreshadowing. I don't expect an answer. But man that sounds weird. And terrible, considering how important dreams seem in the show. Even if I mostly recall nightmares in the show.
Wait, are you saying you haven't seen the show? You're crazy.
5912809 I've seen a few bits and pieces as my little sister watched, saw a bit of the RR movie(final showdown) and I looked up twilight's entrance exam for my other fic, magic's shadow, but no, never watched an episode from start to finish. As I told another person, it makes for some interesting head-canon, as there's no canon to shoot mine down.
You're missing the end quotation mark at the very end of this chapter. Other than that small note this has been an awesome read and an interesting twist on the usual story idea. Very much like!
If its taking place so long after FiM, shouldn't Luna be at full power?
I agree
5913198 Missed the ending period, too, thanks for pointing that out.
5913794 Alas, what should be and what is are not always the same thing. That being said, in response to "OMG set it ablaze! A-OC!" it is unfortunately impossible to make an OC that isn't cliché in some way. There will always be complaints. I'm just saying I can't stand the constant "Dude loses his balls because magic." thing that I see with this so often. Not only that, every single one I've read had the MC being seen in his alicorn form by a main character by the third chapter, and by the sixth, everyone that's someone is his BFF. Where's the fun in that? Screw that, I made sure the magic didn't take them away, it's his job to make sure no-one else does.
5914584
There are many fics about "X human becomes an earth pony, pegasus or unicorn" in this site, and not every one of them meets the mane six. There are also many stories about humans becoming male ponies.
For example in my story The Wrong Twilight , a girl becomes a blank flank unicorn Twilight Sparkle, gets house arrested in the castle, and has yet to meet any of the mane six, human or otherwise. Since she comes from the human world of Equestria Girls, she is not a brony and never watched the show. Worse, the real pony Twilight is stuck in the other side of the mirror for two years and a half.
5912852 You do know that willful ignorance won't keep you safe from complaints if you mess up something right? Willful ignorance generally isn't an excuse. You are doing well, no doubt about that and the alternative universe gives you a lot of elbow room, but still. Just a friendly warning.
Happy writing.
5916702 The elements didn't truly harm Ted, actually. They ended up separating the two souls that inhabited Luna's body. Having no-where to put him, and having no directive from the bearers, Ted just ended up in the nearest soul-bucket. So no, I don't feel there's an issue with the elements here. The elements can't help it if the bearers and the princess just left a dangerous set of armor lying around, not even bothering to check it for lingering magic. Price you pay for blasting everything with a rainbow cannon and hoping for the best.
5916240 I know, and while I'm certain I'll get an ear-full if I screw something up, at the end of the day, this is for fun. I'll do my best to make the story flow smoothly, though, and keep to what's believable for the characters. I just ask that you don't jump to conclusions and assume I don't have any clue about the characters if something sounds ooc to you. I am trying to write about emotions I have no way of understanding, especially Luna's desperation for companionship.
5916969 As I said, you're doing well. Benefit of the doubt and a little leeway is something you can expect from me. Unless you really, really screw up.
But don't worry, I'm very polite when I rant.
Man...set so far in the future makes me a little sad. Luna also seems pretty odd, I wonder what happened.
A much, MUCH better phrase to use than "what can go worse?"
I like this, I didn't think I would at first cause male alicorn. But I like it. And Ted has DM skills, that could come in handy... hoofy?
I actually made a map for my story too, so it isn't weird at all.
Oh dear goddesses! Morning people! The horror!
"P.S. Caffeinated Woona is Best Woona."
Yeyah!!
Is it sad or good that I actually know the set-up to this chapter title/joke?
7601410 I dunno. I don't know it
rose sounds like she is adorabeties get it correct man!
supplies, motherfucker
You eat embryonic chickens, mofo.
8205563
There not embryos yet. They haven't been fertilized properly. Your essentially eating chicken's period
WOONA!!!
Datum. Tuna really knows what's up.
But...he was trapped for 40 years?
Wow.
P.s. the fire spell is a lie! Danger,danger! Idiot proof!
Wow it's been 40 years since they defeated nightmare moon
Heh. Caffeine.
I would call him tena for ted and luna
9800380
Tuna sounds funnier
Luna's opening scene was both adorable and kind of depressing considering what I know of future revelations about why she acted like that.
The no nonsense attitude about the dangerous expedition makes a lot of sense too
Very reasonable MC... Time to have fun
I want to feel insulted but nightmare and the changelings technically are parasites
So is his body male, female, both or neither?
11261846
Basically Nightmare Moon with a pair of balls and everything else that comes with it.
Obligatory comment