• Member Since 25th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen 43 minutes ago

Reykan


Want to know how far someone can get writing fan-fictions without watching the show? Lets find out together!

T

Twilight went to take her entrance exam for Celestia's school for gifted unicorns, and she had a surge. But when the Princess of the sun shows up, all Twilight can think of is getting away. The look of concern for those she transformed was too much. In a flash of light, the little filly disappears with one thought on her mind.

"I've disappointed them all."

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 153 )

You have piqued my curiosity. Normally I hate HiE, but I'll keep an eye on this one.

5904258 Glad to hear it. As I said, I don't think I've seen people use Twilights surge for their stories, which is surprising considering it was probably the strongest one ever recorded, since it was, to my understanding at least, the day she bonded with magic.

Wow. Now that's not your run out of the mill story.

What human is everyone is speaking of?

Darn I had a extremely similar story like this
Guess I'll have to trash it now
Going to track this to see where it would end up

5904750 Don't throw it away, write it out. I'm never going to hate on people who have similar ideas. The only thing I ask is that you don't copy my story verbatim; I seriously doubt you'll do the exact same thing I'll be doing.

very interesting concept. i don't think i have ever seen anything like it before
I am anxiously waiting for more :twilightsmile:

The shit just got real :pinkiecrazy: and I like it. :pinkiehappy:

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The hell is it with you people going after the stories that I feel are iffy? I was worried I was crossing a line with the connection, but so far the receptions been fairly positive. I do feel like I can have a bit of fun with this one though, considering he's going to be connected to the most neurotic unicorn on the planet.

I'm having flashbacks to A&O, people, your all nuts... :trixieshiftleft:

...and I love ya for it :pinkiecrazy:

Very unique idea here, I really hope to see more chapters for this story. :pinkiehappy:

This is how you start a story. I'm not inundated with trivia and I am eager to know more!
Plus I like changelings in general. Reading about one in Canterlot castle itself will be interesting.

Also; Please sir, may I have another?

Keep up the good work!

5912008 Oh my god, I feel accomplished now. I've officially been asked that line! :yay:

this is getting very interesting

A favorite and upvote as author credit has expanded beyond The Substitute Demon. Eagerly looking forward to more on Both of them. :pinkiehappy:

5946263 expanded beyond substitute demon? I posted this one the same day as substitute and crystal. I've just kind of been sucked into writing only on Demon. I don't know, maybe I'm just not understanding your comment.

5946692 Hehe, sorry for being confusing. I was just over at substitute and wrote that it was so good that I'd have to look up your other works as well, and so far they all hold up. :pinkiehappy:

5946692 Guh. Nevermind me, was 3 in the morning as I wrote that. I have no idea what I meant there except attempting to express delight over your writing

Awesome story can't wait for more! :pinkiehappy:

I like this. It looks really interesting. Please keep updating.

I hope you plan on continuing this, cause I'm invested.

Please update. It looks cool and I haven't seen this approach in changeling fics before. I'm interested to see the direction this goes. I hope Twilight still has her Number 1. Assistant. Spike could use a father figure.

3 story updates in a day! You sir/mam are a writing machine!:pinkiehappy:

Interesting story. I hope another chapter comes out soon. Good luck. I think you are doing a great job with this story.

It seems interesting, however I must nitpick about Celestia, specifically these such quotes.

"Calm yourself. Oh my, I'd forgotten about such things. Often when we travel between the veils of the worlds, we find ourselves changed, better suited to fit in to a world radically different from our own." The princess explained, a slight smile gracing her lips. "Your name is not lost to you, it is merely altered, much like your physical form. Should you travel to another world where your original name and form is viable, they will be restored. Though your age may be another matter entirely."

"Oh yes, I have traveled to several different worlds over the centuries. It's always a pleasure experiencing new views on life, or the endless possibilities of what could have been. There's even a chance I may have seen your world over the years,

Having Celestia have visited other worlds and such weakens the story. If using the movie as canon may want to go into more detail.
However I must admit, I am personally not fond of the idea of Celestia with such power.
Another idea may be to just use something such as Starswirl, Celestia, or even Luna having researched things such as traveling to other worlds.
But it is your story so go about it as you wish. I will be adding this to my read later list to check up on later.

6004583 that and another story, though it's still awaiting approval. It got kicked back because the description wasn't descriptive enough. I hate that.

DF

I wonder how her foalsitter would react to her new, uh, friend?

Considering that this takes place long before the wedding? Possibly better than the others. Possibly worse depending on where, when, and how she found out what changelings were in the first place. Sure, if Chrysalis was the one who told her then it doesn't matter, but if it was an incident early in her life . . .

Thank you so very much for continuing this story.

6004891 Are you serious? I believe she'd be ecstatic. "Twily has a colt-friend, and they're so cute together!!

Well this is a nice change. When I first read the premise I thought twilight was going to hie from celestia constantly running away. Is spike going to be with twilight and if not shadow could need more love literally. :twilightblush: Just saying

Since the wedding isn't even close to happening i think she be curious. Heck i wonder how both the Summer Sun Celebration and the wedding will change with Shadow there.

Honestly I thought Celestia would be more curious about Shadow and ask more questions. And she seems to knowledgable right now in what both can do.

Ok, the first three chapters I kept meaning to comment on how you have a couple persistent problems:
1) Using the wrong plural/possessive.
2) Uncapitalized names. Which of course is a much bigger problem in a world that uses almost exclusively common nouns, verbs, and adjectives as proper nouns.

Now I specified the first three chapters for that part because this chapter had a new issue... you switched PoV a couple of times with NO transition. The first three chapters though had good solid indicators of such things.

6004744 In one of the IDW comics, Celestia and Starswirl travel to a number of different worlds

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Still, I'd like a bit more detail.

This story has a rather interesting premise, I'd like to see it continue if you are willing to do so.

Ehh I find it hard to believe that he could accept turning into a changeling and transporting to a new world filled with talking horses that can do magic and fly but it's so difficult to believe one of them could live for centuries?.....it's also hard to get why celestia after learning he was from another dimension/reality asked him no questions about himself personally, the reality he's from, or how he got to be in theirs. other than that great fic looking forward to the next chapter :pinkiehappy:

"I always wanted a sister!"

:rainbowderp::rainbowlaugh:

poor Shadow.

I'm on mix feelings. I love seeing this early stuff but frankly I can't wait for the Summer Sun and the wedding with Shadow around.


And yes first comment

6112467 He's basically attached to purple smart at this point. Tia has all the time in the world to ask him those questions. I'm of the mind that she's good at the long game. Also, it was the possibility for those things that drove me to start this. I enjoy the premise, but as I said when I first posted this set of stories, the one that gets the most love will get my focus. Substitute got the best reception, so its where I spend most of my time.

Poor, poor 'ling.

Hope to see more soon :pinkiesmile:

Yay he kinda learned how to use his changeling magic thing!

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I hope Shadow has the fortitude to make it through all the tea parties and games Twilight is going to subject him to. A little girl has the equivalent of a real imaginary friend that can be anyone or anything? Ack. Granted, there's size limitations and such but that still leaves a lot of leeway in Twilight's playtime.

And has no one in Twilight's room noticed at the end of the chapter that Shadow could understand Equestrian after turning into a copy of Twilight? ...or the author forgot to mask the father's speech as gibberish with Twilight translating?

I'm glad this story is still getting continued, and I hope you work on it some more as I feel it has a little more potential for interesting scenarios than Substitute. I feel it could have quite an interesting alternative look at Twilight Sparkle's development, with someone that attached to her for her entire education. How it would affect Twilight's relationships with everyone else as well.

I can foresee some time-skips upcoming, but only to give Shadow the language. Else, it could be slice of life for a bit, moving forward to the Summer Sun celebration, and then changed Spike, changed Twilight Sparkle, and changeling Shadow could have all kinds of bizarre and interesting experiences.

One of the more immediate concerns for them is the distrust of Shadow by everyone, especially Twilight's family. It's an uphill battle, especially with how overprotective of her they are. But Shadow doesn't have a choice, and Twilight may actually need him around and close by. Shadow is a familiar after all, and that's a bond closer than any other in all kinds of fiction.

[I'm really curious what kind of familiar bond shenanigans they can do. Can they cast each other's magic? Augment each other's abilities, thoughts? Share direct telepathy? Can Twilight use Changeling magic like self-transformation with some practice, or be able to sense emotions through Shadow? It's a giant hotpot of possibilities! Especially if Shadow eventually overcomes the horror of being able to change gender, will they do a Twin gimmick to confuse and disorient others? I know Trixie would definitely be all over that gimmick in Twilight's place, as the potential of not being able to tell them apart (and being able to pass thoughts between each other to boot) could be a huge boon, or at least the joke that keeps on giving.]

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And has no one in Twilight's room noticed at the end of the chapter that Shadow could understand Equestrian after turning into a copy of Twilight? ...or the author forgot to mask the father's speech as gibberish with Twilight translating?

It's Twilight's perspective.

6122917 The last part was from Twilight's POV so Shadow still doesn't understand them without the swap.

Tea parties won't be an issue. This is TWILIGHT were are talking about. her first sleep over was in Ponyville.

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Well, I guess it's not like Twilight's gonna go full ForScience!-mode on shadow experiment with him, right?

...right?

[Years later, not much has changed in Twilight and shadow's relationship...]
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/2/17/246753__safe_twilight+sparkle_oc_artist-colon-makkon.jpeg

6125195 need to make the picture smaller, it got cut off.

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