//------------------------------// // Uh, Sir? You Have Something on Your... // Story: The Substitute Demon // by Reykan //------------------------------// In the beginning, there was darkness. And Ted did gaze upon it, and saw it's splendor, its wonderfulness, its welcoming comfort. and said unto himself 'This is nice.' He did attempt with all his might to open his eyes, but they remained sealed. Thus discouraged he did say 'Fuck it. I'm still tired.' The stallion did then return to his slumber. <-(0)-> Loading..........................* Attempt at consciousness:2 Ted.0 OS loaded, running startup Alicorn hardware-update improperly installed, please contact support. Continuing start up. Magic...................offline Touch...................offline Hearing................offline Sight......................offline Smell.....................offline Taste.....................offline Exception:errantdreamer.dert385xdewqupct073.Acervent8612* Error. One or more vital systems damaged/missing, please contact an administrator. Start up failed. Returning to standby mode. ....................* <-(0)-> '...Ow.' Ted thought, slowly returning to consciousness. It was an odd return, all things considered, even compared against his so called revival by the cultists and his return to consciousness in an alien body after the substitution spell. What made it stand out was the absolute lack of, well, anything. 'I can not for the life of me bring myself to care that I was mugged. I can't worry about what time it may be. I'm not worried about what jumped me. Because of this, I know something is wrong and should be panicking. But I just can't.' The alicorn thought to himself. Suddenly an ear flicked, and he noticed a sound, then a weight on his back. ' Is that snoring?' Dragging his head along the ground, he managed to catch a glimpse of what jumped him the night before. Still sitting on his back, passed out with its fangs still stuck in his neck, was a changeling, its mouth open and horn stuck in the dirt, leaving it in an awkward position that, in Ted's opinion, would probably leave it with a cramp after it woke up. Lighting his aura, which was still weak from the attack, he shakily stood up and managed to remove the fangs from his neck. The attacker was still slumped over his back, but that just meant he didn't have to drag it back to town by the tail. Who knew, maybe there would be some sort of reward for that? Letting his sense of equilibrium return, he walked around the chamber, breaking open pods and dragging the sputtering captives out into the cool air. Many seemed to be in the same state he found himself, just sitting around with no motivation whatsoever. Others showed just a hint of fear and confusion; the former at his passenger, the latter at their current location. All of them seemed to lack the capacity to do much more then stare at the walls at the moment though. Apparently, when ponies didn't have any emotion or drive, they became incapable of movement. Ted worked in retail while studying, though, and was used to working with no real motivation or energy. Eventually, he gathered all the ponies and their gear in the center of the cave, ordered them to put their stuff on, and follow him. "Why would I do that." One of the prisoners asked. "You've got a bug on your back, and I don't know you." Some muttered agreements, others just dozed off. Some were already asleep, snoring lightly while their heads bobbed with their breathing. "Because your current options are consist of 'stay here and hope something worse than a changeling doesn't find this cave' and 'follow the big guy out of the cave and back to town.' Ted responded. As soon as he did, he turned and started walking to the, for lack of a better word, nest in the back of the cave. There were a few things he thought might be useful, but in his current state, he couldn't do much more than throwing things into his bags until he couldn't carry any more. Satisfied there was nothing of value left, he grabbed three chunks of a pod, slid them onto the changelings fangs and over the horn, and trotted out of the cave. Most of the ponies seemed to follow, and those that didn't were piled on the backs of others that had recovered more energy since their release. Entering the light of the setting sun, Ted stopped just before the underbrush grew too thick, and started grabbing vines. He hefted the bug off of his back and wrapped it up like a birthday present before settling it back between his wings. No reason to take chances, though he wasn't sure how effective the pod would be at stopping magic. Then he turned to count the ponies following him. 'I swear these guys are useless without a flag bearer or some obvious leader.' "Alright, keep up. If you see something, say something. Or don't. Not my business if you get eaten or dragged off." With that Ted started scorching a path back to the town, the use of his mana seeming to help burn away the lethargy as surely as the underbrush. 'Bleah, at least I'm not falling asleep anymore.' he thought absentmindedly. The pace was slow, but no-one really seemed to be capable of much more. Eventually, he heard something ahead. Cutting the spell off, he stopped and listened, ignoring the ponies that bounced off of his leg in an almost cartoonish pile up. "I told you I heard something. It sounded like fire over there." A voice said. Ted focused in the direction, and noticed a few ponies and griffons wandering through the jungle. "I still don't see why this guy is so important. I mean, what dip-stick goes searching for disappearing ponies on his own?" "I do, dumbass." Ted said as loud as he could, which wasn't much at the moment. Nevertheless it got the search parties attention. Before long the guards were moving to Ted's position, many walking past him to take account of those behind him. "So that's the bug? I thought they were smaller, and worked in groups." A griffon said, poking at the changeling on his back. The griffon then turned to Ted. "So if you beat it up, how did it drain you?" "I didn't beat it. I just recovered faster. Well, recovered enough to be able to move." The alicorn responded. It would have been embarrassing, were he capable of feeling that. Twice now he'd won only because of endurance. The snake had him in its throat, with little to no air, and the changeling had him on the cave floor with no emotions. Both times he really should have lost, but both times he ended up recovering enough to basically walk out of the jaws of defeat. Literally, in the snake's case. "Wait, so what knocked it out?" The griffon asked, as the guards herded the ponies back to the town under close supervision. Ted took a moment to ponder the question, before starting to follow the group, turning back to the guard and answering the question. "Gorging, I think." <-(0)-> "Hahaha, let me get this straight, you walked into the jungle by yourself to find the cause of the problem, got jumped by the changeling, and woke up with it sleeping on your back?" Sahkest had been at the gate, ordering the changeling properly secured with a nullification band and chains when he saw the captive. "The fangs were still in my neck when I woke up." Ted added, the two walking back to the Inn. "You, Simmer, are one crazy Son of a Sea-Surge. Lucky, too. I don't even know how you found the nest, much less made it out there and half-way back without something jumping you." "Karmic balance" Ted replied, voice still dead of emotion. "I lost everything dear to me recently. I better get some breaks every now and then." The drake turned to look at him, confusion written across its face, before it turned back to the path. "Well, I hope things start turning around for you. They certainly have for me! I've gotten some nice dreams, made a new trade partner, and soon I'll get a nice bonus from that proto-queen you captured. Be happy to split the bounty with you, since you did find it." Ted stopped walking all of a sudden, the blue-scaled dragon stopping to look back at him. "Bounty? Who has a bounty on changelings?" "Royal Equestrian Guard. Send a queen, proto-queen, or even nymphs to their nearest outpost and they'll pay handsomely for them. Gotten rarer lately, though. Been about, four years I think since anygons claimed a bounty for one." Ted just sat there a moment, thinking about this new information. Mirage never mentioned a bounty, though they didn't apply to her. Still, Mirage said it was through captured infiltrators and gatherers that the Queen had been able to strike so strongly at the changelings. Not only that, what was she doing with them? Being a science fiction fan, he could easily see Celestia's corrupted student experimenting on them, possibly twisting them into some B-movie monsters, or turning the queens into broodmares, existing only to create an army for the already powerful ruler. The last thing she needed was another source of power. "I want the changeling." Ted said finally. "You what? Do you know how much that thing is worth? The last queen was a torn up mess, I saw the pictures in one of Herrick's image crystals, and she was worth almost five million gold coins to the Equestrians! The one you found? Absolutely pristine! We could argue the price up to almost fifty million before they'd even start to object!" "Yes, let's give the megalomaniacal alicorn who holds the sun and moon princesses captive and probably already has half a dozen changeling broodmares in her dungeons yet another source of shapeshifting soldiers." Ted responded flatly. "I don't know about you, but I'd rather not add to her already ridiculous power-base. You do know she's not going to stop with the countries around her right? All of this-" He waved a hoof, gesturing to the town "She wants it all under her control. Absolute order, absolute 'harmony'. She's the second Nightmare Moon. A happy pony with a good idea that was twisted into a shadowy mockery of what she stood for." Sahkest narrowed his eyes at Ted, speaking quietly. "And what would you know of that, Nightmare? Yes, I heard those ponies that follow you talk. Saying 'thank the stars it worked', and 'The Nightmare's been an absolute blessing'. You accuse the Mad Queen of being a Nightmare, when those who follow you say you yourself are one. Not only that, I may have only been a hatchling at the time, but I remember well the stories of the atrocities Nightmare Moon committed. I also remember the descriptions well. A dark alicorn with slit teal eyes, who seemed to flow out of the shadows, able to traverse the world of dreams as a pegasus does the skies. Who are you to accuse the Mad Queen of being what you already are?" Ted frowned at that, the smallest hint of anger flaring up in his mind. Suddenly the shadows deepened around them. Sahkest looked enraged, assuming an attack but Ted cut him off. "It's to cut out eavesdroppers. I know what they call me. I was accused of the same damn thing by Luna when she first realized where my aura came from. It looks just like the parasite that attacked her. You know why? Because I didn't have magic of my own. My world is devoid of it." The alicorn said, rage slowly burning brighter. "I was sitting in my home, upset because some fucking game I liked wasn't working, and the next thing I know I'm getting blasted by the Elements of Harmony because that thrice-damned parasite swapped places with me. But you know what? I can't go around saying that. Did you see them when we walked in? The ponies with me? Did you see the state they're in?" The dragon nodded absentmindedly, having difficulty wrapping his mind around what was just laid out before him. "Those tattered robes, the slightly gaunt looks, the weariness in their eyes? That's a fricken' improvement. They had nothing out there. They had nothing, so I gave them hope. I promised to watch over them. I protected them from the jungle. I even let them dream again." Ted was almost yelling at this point, despite his fatigue. "And you know what? Do you know what happens if they find out the truth right now? What do you think happens when a bunch of ponies holding on by a thread find out that the last string they have is a lie? That the Nightmare was truly the most disgusting creature to walk this world that I know of? They'll snap, that's what. Half will leave, if they don't outright attack the others in madness." Ted took a step towards the dragon. "I won't let that happen. Tomorrow, we, you and me, ol' buddy ol' pal, are going to take a look at that changeling. If she can be helped, I'm taking her with me. If not, we're putting her down. And you aren't going to say anything. You know why? Because if you speak a fucking word of this to another soul, every single dream you have from that day forward, you will be greeted not by cute little dragonesses awaiting their big muscular mate. No, you'll find a bunch of nice burly dragons waiting for their favorite prison bitch to get back. You understand me, Sahkest?" Ted spat out, nearly burning with a black aura. Still in shock, the dragon just nodded. Ted smiled as warmly as frozen nitrogen at him "I'm glad we've come to this understanding. I'm going to bed before I rip out some unlucky bastard's spine and beat him/her/them to death with it." " Why is my anger the first damn thing to start coming back?" The alicorn muttered as he walked away. For his part, Sahkest just stood there, mind still trying to come to grips with what he'd just heard. The part about the Mad Queen being a second Nightmare Moon made sense, as did the part of it being unnatural. But everything else? Simmer had even said 'his planet'. Was it an alien? Were all alicorns aliens? It would make sense, but no, he'd heard the Mad Queen was a normal unicorn at one point. "I'm done." The dragon finally muttered to himself. "No way am I thinking about this while sober. Time to bust out the tankards in the basement." With that, the drake headed home, purposefully ignoring every word he'd heard that night. It just wasn't worth the headache. <-(0)-> The night really wasn't what Ted would call memorable. Sure there were a few dreams that were so shiningly happy he felt the burning need to drop in and set everything in sight on fire, but by dawn the majority of his emotions seemed to have recovered, even if they were severely stunted. He decided to splurge for breakfast, ordering a bunch of pancakes and sausages, confusing the owner of a restaurant until the food arrived, where Ted grinned widely enough to show the wicked canines his form was graced with. As Ted destroyed the hapless meal, a few bags of gold passed claws, much to the displeasure of their former owners. It seemed many were certain the large pony had no clue what he was ordering, and would be horrified when his meal arrived. Instead, the meat was the first thing he hit. Ted watched the exchanges out of the corner of his eye, and amused smile creeping onto his face. It lifted his spirits even higher to realize he was finally able to laugh about such stupidity again. The entire experience was almost over, and it would have been considered depressing if he'd even been capable of sadness. Instead it was just a void, one he happily relegated to memory. Finishing his meal, and savoring the delicious flavor of the last pancake, Ted paid his bill and left the building, heading to the port's stockades. Sahkest was waiting outside the building with a burly looking pegasus, both with bored looks on their faces. Noticing the alicorn's approach, the drake looked at Ted and spoke in a sleepy voice. "I was wondering when you would finally show up. Let's get this over with." Together the three walked down the large halls of the prison, many of the cells empty, a few holding a group of passed out drunks. Finally, they came to a magically reinforced door, guarded by a griffon and an earth pony, both equipped with mundane weapons and magic nullifiers. At the command of the warden, the door was opened, allowing Ted and Sahkest to enter. The proto-queen was still sleeping, against all odds and despite the smell of the prison. Noticing a bucket nearby, Ted grabbed it with his magic, filled it from a nearby pump, and splashed the water across the queen's face. The changeling sputtered and coughed a few times, before she managed to focus enough to notice her current situation, as well as the two large beings that stood in the doorway. The proto-queen switched between the two once, twice, three times before her eyes finally locked on Ted, seeing as he was standing closer. "How do you plan on figuring this out?" Sahkest rumbled. "Simple, we do a few pain tests. If she's feral, she'll just growl and thrash a lot. Only problem there is she'll be useless to my experiments. If she's recovering? Plenty of entertaining things to do with a young proto-queen." Ted said evenly, watching the changeling for any reactions. The dragon behind him shifted uncomfortably, still unsure of the alicorn's stability, which he'd been questioning since the night before. Hearing the words of the dark alicorn, and sensing the fear and discomfort from the dragon, the shape-shifter bared her fangs, before making a half-hearted lunge at the two. Her reaction was short lived though, as Ted broke into a wicked fang-filled smile, his wings flicking with excitement. "Only a sapient creature hoping to be dismissed as feral would react like that. Not to mention you didn't throw yourself against the chains all that hard." He said, stepping closer to the proto-queen, who backed up to the wall. Leaning in closer to the prisoner, he chuckled at her and spoke one word. "Gotcha!"