The queen fumed as she slammed the door behind her. Was he mad? Demanding the lives of her hatchlings in an attempt to make some point? She lashed out again and again, leaving cratered impressions in the first chamber of her nest. She lashed out till her hooves ached, till her chitin threatened to split. Panting heavily, she pushing into her sleeping area, and to the nearly hatched eggs she kept by her bed.
For a long time, the queen simply stared at them. He used them to try to teach her something, even if she didn't fully understand it. Would he still demand their destruction? The queen shook with rage once more at the thought of such a request. Oh, and stars forbid her mother ever learn of this, a changeling queen serving under a pony, willingly denying herself the pursuit of genetic material to better her hive for a single male. The old queen would either laugh herself mute, or beat her daughter into the dirt with her own withered hooves.
'For all the hatred I feel for him right now, I can't bring myself to truly try to kill him.' She thought to herself. She'd done more for him than her mother would ever permit, much less believe. She'd allowed herself to be placed below him while she recovered, and even after her recovery she didn't overthrow him, as he was much more useful in his current position. Certainly she could try to hypnotize the alicorn, she knew her species could do it, but would it work on something that was higher than a pony? What of the alicorns affection that fed so many changelings so easily? Would it be compromised? What of whatever spell he used to shield the changelings under his rule from the Mad Queen? Would that still work if his mind was not his own?
In the end she couldn't take those chances. No matter how much he frustrated her, Pandinus could not move against the alicorn without horrific consequences. Curling defensively around her clutch, she shuddered, first with rage, than with depression. She was a queen only in the idea that she was a primary bearer of her species and could maintain a link with hundreds of drones easily. In terms of actual power in this nest, she was less respected than the clutch nurse. Scratching her head behind the horn, she knew her crown would start forming soon. With her first clutch just about to hatch, it was only a matter of time. But what then? A hostile takeover wouldn't work here, and the other changelings, those who were independent of her, would not ally with her. By the First Mother's plates, the clutch nurse would not allow her near the nymphs, and Cimmerian supported her decisions on their care.
An odd sensation flowed over the queen as she sat by her clutch, and she reached a hoof to a strange tingle on her snout. Pulling it away, she found her hoof wet.
'And now my body is emulating emotions.' She muttered darkly, before her eyes widened. How could she cry if she couldn't feel sorrow? Was her own understanding of emotions wrong? If her understanding of them was incorrect, so too were the understandings of her entire species on the one thing that fed them.
With the revelation came an idea, one born of desperation. She couldn't think of anything else to do, there was no other way. Slowly a demented grin split her face, the queen giggling to herself at the solution that had presented itself. If the alicorn wanted her love, she would find a way to give it to him. No matter what the cost.
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Ted, or Cimmerian as more and more of his followers were calling him (those that refused to call him Father, anyway), spent the next few days distracting himself with his work, overseeing the construction of yet another building to house more followers as well as the preparation of the mine. The building would be a godsend to those who were unmarried, as some claimed the noise coming from the sleeping quarters was getting out of, well, grasping appendage. Having a soundproofing ward on his own room, Ted wasn't sure what the problem was, till he forgot to restore it one night. Afterwards, the additional housing became top priority.
"Ok, that should hold us for a while, even if we do get 30 more residents. How are we doing on supplies, Gleam?" Ted asked, turning from his notes to the unicorn mare.
"We're starting to run low on nails and metals, but the griffin and gnolls have been keeping the, er, pelts from their hunting, saying they can be sold if not used for clothing and bedding." The unicorn said, reading her own notes. "Tulip has also managed to accumulate a good surplus of potions and poultices, though I would suggest getting her some vials or possibly adding a glass blowing extension to the forge so we don't have to purchase them for too long. Being so close to the beach, glass shouldn't be that hard to make with the proper tools and instructions. Oh, I also must suggest a storage silo for grains as the next project and a way to make a cool storage area for preserving food soon."
"I say we make another set of tunnels like those below the Temple for the cold storage. Ask the changelings to seal a storage tunnel and get a door on the tunnel like Pandinus has, then get some cooling runes into the walls. That should work as a makeshift cold storage, though the changelings will want it a good distance from their nest. The cold could negatively affect them. Oh, and make sure it can be opened from the inside."
Gleam blanched at the idea. "Has that happened before? People getting stuck in a cold storage room?"
"More often than anyone would admit." The alicorn said with a sigh. "That's why I want you to make a note of that, I don't want any stupid deaths. I don't want any at all, honestly, but being this far out into the wilderness, it's going to happen. We just need to do everything we can to minimize the possibilities."
Gleam shifted uncomfortably a moment, drawing the alicorn's attention.
"Is there something bothering you, Gleam?"
"Father, I, I hate to be the one to ask this, but do you know what happened to the queen? No one has really spoken about the incident, I just heard she attacked you for some reason and you hurt her in return, then she locked herself in the tunnels. She hasn't been seen in four days."
Ted frowned. "Four days? You're telling me no one's seen her since she ducked into her nest? Did someone at least check if she's still alive?" The alicorn asked while standing up, worry starting to settle in.
Gleam watched as the alicorn's tail lashed a bit, and his wings seemed tense. "I, I went to check, but was stopped by some smaller drones at her door. They said she wasn't seeing visitors. I just stopped by again this morning, and they said the same thing, though they seemed a bit bigger. I didn't know they grew so fast."
'So they hatched, and it sounds like they've developed fast, just as she said.' The alicorn thought. "She said some things that angered me, and I said some cruel things in return. I lashed out at her, but left her to her own devices, giving myself some time to cool off." After thinking a moment, the alicorn threw his cushion against the wall in frustration, before making his way out of the war room.
"Fuck, I hope she didn't do something stupid." He muttered, even as he galloped down the hall.
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"Mother is not seeing visitors." The drones told him as he stood at the door. They were larger than he suspected considering their age, and the oddity of two door guards speaking the same words in a buzzing monotonous voice was pretty creepy. Still, his concerns weren't going to wait on the changeling finally deciding she was ready to talk. In reality, he was lucky she didn't fall into depression or do something... drastic.
Activating his more ethereal form, he walked right through the guards, despite their best attempts to intercept him. The walls were damaged, most likely from the queen after their conversation. The fact that the drones weren't told to repair them set warning bells off in the alicorns head. Pandinus was meticulous about her nest. The cracks normally would have been repaired within moments of her noticing them.
Approaching the second door that led to the queen's bed chambers and nest bowl, the alicorn phased through the remaining drones. Stopping at the door to look back at the drones, he noticed an odd expression on their faces.
Where once was an emotionless mask, there was now the barest hints of sorrow. Those closest stepped back into line with their fellows, before the entire clutch spoke in one voice.
"Stop the pain."
Eyes widened with worry, the alicorn dropped his shadowy form before tearing the final door off it's hinges, launching it into the wall of the previous room. Rushing into the final chamber, he was greeted by a sight that nearly made him ill.
Scattered around the bed were several glowing jars filled with various emotions, the colors swirling together as if there were some current actually present in the jars. Sitting on the bed, desperately gagging into a bottle was the queen. The bottle was nearly empty, but it's contents worried him. The liquid on the bottom of the jar, barely enough to wet the bottom, glowed a sickly green. Even as he watched, the queen spat another drop of the liquid into the jar. Finally stopping her task, the queen collapsed into her bed, wheezing with fatigue, her eyes dull and her mane matted against her form. But what truly scared him was the rest of her.
The holes were back. No, they weren't back, her body was completely riddled with the damned things. Looking at her now, he wasn't sure she'd be able to walk, much less stand. What the hell had she been doing these last few days that left her in such a state?
Sensing his concern the queen hissed and bared her fangs in what was likely her bodies desperate attempt to initiate a feeding, but she soon pulled back control, a dim awareness returning to her eyes. She giggled deliriously, before reaching a hoof out to the jar sitting on the floor beneath her.
"For you." She rasped, a smile on her face.
'Oh my god, she's snapped.' Ted thought, rushing up to the bed and carefully moving onto it, cautious of any jostling the paper thing creature on the bed. Finally in position, he relaxed over her, allowing his concern for her, his fear for any damage she may have incurred, and his hopes for her recovery to be his focus. He wrapped his forelegs around her own, sitting with his rear left leg pressed against her right. The queen relaxed in his grip, her survival instincts kicking in as she absorbed as much of the desperately needed food as she could stand, before she wretched, vomiting a multi-hued goop all over the floor.
Ted realized what was happening, and toned down his concern as best he could, though he didn't release his grip on the queen. After driving herself to the absolute brink of starvation for some reason, she was getting sick on the amount of emotion he was feeding her with. Still, he didn't release his hold on the queen, worried that she would try to leave and possibly finish whatever mad scheme had driven her to this state.
It took several hours, but eventually the sickly pallor of her chitin began to fade slightly, and her breathing steadied. Certain Pandinus was asleep, he allowed himself to fall into the realm of dreams as well, only now realizing her presence had been missing from the dream world as well.
'Stupid, stupid, stupid. What if she'd done something irreversible? What if that's what she did anyway?' The alicorn rebuked himself, entering the dream as soon as it solidified. The queen hadn't even had time to start dreaming before the alicorn was before her, dragging her dream self into a hug similar to the one he had her physical self in.
"You absolute idiot, what were you trying to do that nearly killed you? God, it was hard enough seeing you like that before, Din, don't do this to me again. Don't do this to yourself on purpose."
Instead of an answer, all he got were a few shudders before the dam broke. Pandinus fiercely wept into his barrel, unable to muster much more than the phrases 'I tried so hard.' and 'I'm sorry.' It broke his heart, and he couldn't help but feel responsible for driving her to this by their last confrontation.
Eventually he managed to calm her to the point of sniveling and hiccups, and he decided to try again.
"Why'd you do that to yourself, Din?" He asked softly. "Why did you starve yourself like that?"
"You, you said you wanted, said that I had to give you love if I wanted it." She whimpered. "So I tried finding my own, but I couldn't find it. I started, started draining off the other emotions, so I didn't have to dig through them to find it. I did my best, I swear, but I could only get a little. But it doesn't matter, it's not enough. It wouldn't even feed a true drone hatchling for a day." She sobbed, despairing at the failure to make enough of her own love.
Ted's eyes widened in realization of what was in the jar, before tightening his grip on the queen.
"You, that's not what I was asking for, Din. I can't taste emotions, that's your thing. I don't need physical proof of an emotions existence." The alicorn separated from the shape shifter, lifting her muzzle so he could look her in the eye.
"Gestures, Din. That is how other species show love. Actions we take. When you went to defend your clutch from me, that was a gesture that would be understood by those around you as love. A mother's devotion to her children. When Gem called me dad, that was her telling me she trusted me to keep her safe, trusted me with her life. That is what you're missing. You keep falling back on what you know about your own species when you try to get my attention, or assuming that we react to the emotions that are being released by others. That's not going to help you. It wouldn't help us." He said, pulling her back into a hug, chin resting on her head.
"But, you said you wanted my love, didn't you?"
"I wanted you to learn to love in a way I could understand. You're not just living amongst changelings anymore, Din. When you get better, I want you to watch the herds. Not the energy, that's something I can't see, it's something I don't truly care about. I want you to watch the gestures, the reassurances, the hugs, the kisses, the simple touches that they use to reassure each other every day. That's what I was asking of you."
"So, so I failed again. I almost killed myself for nothing." She said, beginning to droop again.
"Not true." Ted said, smiling sadly. "It wasn't what you had in mind, but it was there all the same. One of the strangest things you'll see in beings in love is their tendency to do things that hurt themselves in an effort to bring the attention of the target of their affections."
"I know it wasn't what you were looking for, but that is a better proof of love than anything else you've done for me so far." Pushing away from her, the alicorn took a few steps back.
"I'm sorry, Din." He said, laying down on the dream cave's floor. "I hope with all my heart that you don't think I'd ever actually follow through with such a cruel threat, but those words should never have left my mouth, no matter how angry I was. I beg that you not only forgive me, but warn me when I cross that line with others."
"I hate it." The queen mumbled. "I don't want to. I want to hate you, hate you so much you feel it. That you taste it." she wiped a hoof across her muzzle. "I can't do this right now. Just leave me alone."
Slowly rising to his hooves, the alicorn backed away a few more steps. "I'll leave your dream, but I'm not leaving your nest."
"Why not? I don't want to talk to you right now, don't even want to see you!"
"Because I'm scared, Pandinus." He said softly. "I'm not leaving until I'm sure you can at least walk again, longer if I feel you may still be in danger. If nothing else, promise me you won't do this again."
The queen stared at him, anger in her eyes. "Fine. Get out."
With a bow, the alicorn faded from her dream.
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The next morning Ted refused to leave for breakfast, even refused lunch when Gleam brought it to the drones. After seeing the queen in such a state because of a misunderstanding of his request, not to mention the absolutely heartless method he'd used to try and get her to understand what he was attempting to teach her, he couldn't stomach food. Pandinus woke up a few times, but only for a few moments before drifting back to sleep. Most of the day was quiet, and looking back, Ted had wished it stayed that way. About an hour before dinner, the queen woke up once more, this time trying to get out of her bed. Ted guided her, and she eventually made her way to the egg bowl. The queen took her position, the alicorn holding the weak queen in place with a wing. Soon he heard the sounds of wet smacks on the ground behind them. After her laying the queen slackened in his grip, sending Ted into a panic. He called her, shook her, trying to get any kind of response out of the queen. Wondering what had gone wrong, he looked behind her to check her eggs.
And all he could see was her green blood.