I Am Going To Save And/Or Destroy Equestria!

by Bucking Nonsense


I Am Capable Of Many Great Things

And what happened next?
Well, I fell to the ground, broke my neck, and died, of course. How am I still here? Well, when the reaper came for me, I grabbed his scythe, cut off his head with it, then carved out his heart, ate it, and took his powers.
...Yeah, I'm just fucking with you. Still, what actually happened is even more unbelievable, honestly.
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"Oh no!" Nearly all of the mares exclaimed, seeing the battle unfold on the holographic display. Things had seemed to have been going so well, but now, when victory had been but a minute away, Sombra had been laid low. The assembled mares watched in despair as Sombra began to plummet.
Rosy Sunrise, who was sitting at the back of the crowd, wasn't watching any of that. Instead, she was staring in fascination at Miss Bubbles, who had started glowing at the beginning of the battle, and was now levitating above her head. As Sombra began to fall, the doll suddenly zipped off, entering the fluffy pony's fur, and then shot out again, carrying a bright pink surf board. An instant later, it had zipped out of the room, going so fast that the entire room shook from the force of a sonic rainboom...
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You know, I've always believed in karma. You know, if you do bad stuff, bad stuff happens to you, and if you do good things, then good things happen to you? Well, over the course of the day, I'd done exactly one truly good deed, and now, in the moment when things seemed at their darkest...
...That good deed paid dividends.
Ten seconds before I hit the ground, something small, fast, and undeniable plushy and adorable, collided with me. In an eyeblink, I found myself being held in the air by a tiny little pegasus doll... who was glowing like a miniature star.
'Sombra, when you "Made Miss Bubbles All Better", you didn't give her life, did you?'
*Not as far as I know... Wait. The connection from earlier!*
'The one you were talking about earlier? The one that seemed to be affected when we made a promise to one of the mares, and when we kept that promise?'
*Exactly. The ritual used to revive us was blood magic. Each of the mares offered a drop of their blood in order to complete the spell. Blood magic is insanely powerful, so much so that trying to use it for almost anything other than a supremely powerful spell is like trying to use nuclear fission to power one of your world's mopeds: The sheer energy unleashed is typically so far beyond what is actually needed that it would cause an explosion when the unused energy is released. When we fulfilled our promise to Rosy earlier, we started something, but it wasn't a one-to-one exchange: The potential magical energy in just a single drop of a virgin's blood would be enough to do what we had done a million times over, to a million more dolls. I think that the link took one drop of Rosy's blood, and used it to continue making Miss Bubbles 'better'.*
'Is blood magic really that powerful?'
*Blood magic can be used to make an unbreakable magical pact, using just a single drop of blood, something no other magic can do. It can be used to perform works that otherwise take dozens of master wizards working in tandem to accomplish. Blood magic can be used to create life, something that is literally impossible to do otherwise, since, by the laws of magic, only life can create life. The sacrifice of the entirety of a virgin's blood can open a stable rift in space-time large enough to allow a monster the size of a moon to come through, something that otherwise requires a staggeringly large number of cosmic forces to come into perfect alignment...*
'When the stars are right...'
*Heh, your H. P. Lovecraft knew more than he thought he did.*
'So... when will it stop making Miss Bubbles "better"?'
Miss Bubbles suddenly flashed brilliantly bright, and suddenly, I found myself being held in the air by a full sized doll as large as any mare I had seen back in Sanctuary. Except... those hooves were warm...
*Right about now, I hope. Much further, and she might grow a horn, and I don't know if the world is ready for a wall-eyed alicorn.*
Suddenly, Miss Bubbles pulled me close, and planted a big kiss on me, right on the lips... and didn't stop there...
Okay, I'm not gonna lie, it was kinda weird, but it established, right then and there, that Miss Bubbles wasn't a doll anymore. No plushy doll can deliver a french kiss like that. I'd rate it a seven out of ten, which isn't bad for somepony who had been an inanimate object that morning, and especially in a life or death situation. A '10' kiss needs a good deal more buildup, appropriate background music, and fewer distractions, like a gigantic cloud fiend trying to kill you.
Case in point.
We were suddenly interrupted by the cloud fiend trying to fry the pair of us with a lightning bolt. Miss Bubbles tossed me up into the air without warning, and quickly zipped to one side as a bolt shot by us, close enough to make all the hair on my body stand up briefly. When I came back down, she caught me, and hoofed me the bright pink surfboard from earlier.
'Wait, she didn't have that a second ago. Where was she keeping it? Hell, she was a tiny doll earlier. Where the fuck could it have been then?'
*I'd tell you, but the full explanation of the properties of hammerspace is at least three hours long, and require visual aids. It's almost as bad as the 'How can we hold things with our hooves?' lecture.*
'Well, at least there is an explanation...'
I took the surfboard, smiled, and said, "Thanks." Sombra's horn lit up, signalling that our magic was back in working order. "Alright, I'll take it from here. Get back to Rosy, and no matter what, don't let anyone hurt her, alright?"
The former doll saluted, then took off like a shot, while Sombra and I mounted the surfboard.
'The fat bastard is keeping away from the fortress. I think he figured out our game.'
*Or Diretusk did. I didn't realize it until after we were hit, but the swine is riding Arabus right now in a manner similar to our own arrangement, although it seems that Diretusk is in full control rather than sharing like we are. In a way, it's a good thing, though: The little piglet isn't as aggressive as that cloud is. Now that his surprise attack has failed, I think he's waiting for us to make the first move. I don't know how long that will last, though.*
'Well, I have a new plan now. Remember what I told you about my crazy plans earlier?'
*And that I couldn't handle them? Please. I doubt that you could come up with anything that could truly surprise me.*
I told Sombra what I had in mind.
*...I take back what I just said.* He paused, and he added, *It... it might work. I honestly can't imagine anyone expecting something like that, at least.*
'Good. Now, let's do this, before he launches any more lightning bolts.'
And with that, we shot forward like an arrow, and plunged directly into Arabus' might gut. Partway through... we changed. The surfboard shot out through the other side, but we remained inside.
I don't think I can properly express in words how it feels, becoming a living shadow. Imagine all your muscles going as limp, as relaxed, as humanly possible. Now imagine an experience that is as far down the spectrum from that as your totally relaxed state is from your body being completely tensed. Now imagine still being able to move your body without leaving that state. There you go. That's the best way I can describe how it feels, physically. Mentally and emotionally, though, it's something that is completely indescribable.
'Whoa. Freaky...'
*You should have felt it the first time I did that. If you think that was weird, imagine how it feels in a body that isn't used to that.*
'I'd rather not. Alright, are you ready for phase two?'
*Can anyone be ready for... that?*
Good point. I mean, the idea behind my plan felt sound, or at least as sound as anything can be in a world where magic is a thing, but I honestly didn't know all the rules. The only thing that gave me any hope was this: Arabus was 'almost' perfectly intangible, according to Sunset. That meant that there were at least a few things that could actually touch him. As far as I knew, there were two things on that list. Number one was the wind, which Celestia and Luna had apparently taken advantage of, using a powerful cyclone to strip Arabus of his exterior clouds.
Number two? Well, if he ate shadows, then that meant that shadows were solid to him. Otherwise, they'd just slip right out the moment he ate them. That was why, while the surfboard had shot out, we'd remained behind in our shadow form. Now we were inside the stomach of the fiend...
*That is a lot of stolen shadows.* Sombra sounded genuinely impressed.
'I suspect that we're looking at every shadow he's stolen since he's escaped. Clouds don't have much of a digestive system, after all.'
It was hard to be absolutely certain, though. What we were currently looking at was a gigantic pool of inky black in a 'chamber' colored dark grey. Every so often, we'd see a pony-esque figure seeming to struggle, trying to climb up the walls of the stomach, but it seemed that there was no place for their intangible hooves to find purchase, and they'd slip right back in. A dozen feet lower, and we might have ended up inside of that mass. Not that it would necessarily have been a bad thing if we had: Phase Two relied upon those stolen shadows, after all.
*'Once more unto the breach, dear friends?'*
'Heh. This isn't the time for Shakespeare. Instead, I think it's time to quote one of the greatest superheroes of the 90s.'
*Oh?*
'Let's. Get. Dangerous.'
And with that, we dived in...
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The unmistakable feeling of a shadow entering Arabus stomach filled the porcine tyrant with glee. Of all the foolish moves, Sombra had tried to enter the cloud fiend's stomach? Moronic. The shadows were tied to Arabus very existence. It took the magic of alicorns to unbind them. Sombra might as well have tried to mend the heavens themselves...
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The first thing that I experienced upon diving in was a tidal wave of emotion. There was anger in that place, and sorrow, and even regret, but the strongest feeling of all was fear. But with those emotions, incredibly enough, were also thoughts.
"Oh no no no no no, please no ARRRGH!!!"
The final thoughts of the ponies whose shadows were stolen.
"Gotta run, gotta run, gotta run... AIIIEEEEE!!!!"
It was, on a mental level, deafening. It would have been so easy to lose myself there...
"Rosy, run! Run and don't look back! KYAAAAAA!!!!!"
That one thought pulled me back from a brink that I'd not realized that I was falling towards. 'Wait, Rosy? Rosy Sunrise?'
*They can't hear you, dolt, they're just shadows. Echoes of who they once were...*
"Rosy? You know Rosy? Where is she?"
*...How?*
'Some echoes are stronger than others.' I paused, then directed my thoughts to the voice we'd just heard. 'She's safe, for the moment, but if we don't stop Arabus, she'll be in danger soon. I need help.'
"We can't escape Arabus. When he consumed us, we were bound to him, until an outside force can remove us from him. Only a power greater than him can do so, and I fear you are not strong enough."
'I understand. But, can I borrow your strength, yours and that of the others? I have a plan to defeat him, and I need your help to do it.'
"We... we can try."
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Diretusk laughed exultantly. That was the great King Sombra? Pathetic. True, Arabus might have had trouble with the pathetic pony, but that was because Arabus was, in truth, a fool. An imbecile. Nearly every one of the fiends of Tartarus could be called such. While they certainly possessed power, they lacked any sort of wit, or skill. Diretusk, who had, since birth, been called the runt of the litter, had honed both to a fine edge. When his wit was combined with the power of the fiends, he was unstoppable. Now, with Sombra safely imprisoned within Arabus' stomach, he was free to...
^Master... I don't feel so good...^
Before the piglet could question what was going on, he felt the fiend's body suddenly become rocked by an overwhelming sensation similar to intestinal distress. Diretusk had felt something similar when, a couple of years ago, he'd eaten a few berries which, he later discovered, were well known for being amonst the most powerful emetics known to boar. Something in Arabus' stomach wanted out, and it wasn't taking no for an answer...
Arabus suddenly threw his head back, and from his mouth, a massive, black hand, with fingers ending is wicked talons shot straight up into the heavens. Seeming impossibly long, within moments, it seemed to touch the very firmanent itself, and paused, as if trying to find something. After a second, it shot to one side, grasping one of the stars. And then... it began to pull.
#Impossible...#
With a mighty noise, one whose volume defied any possible description, the star was torn from the heavens, and the arm began retracting at breakneck speeds. Within seconds, the star had vanished inside of Arabus mouth...
#Why would he...?#
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*Where in the blazes did you come up with this insane idea, anyways?*
'Howl's Moving Castle, mostly.'
There was a pause, and then Sombra admitted, *An interesting movie, I'll admit. Still, this is so far beyond insanity that I can't even begin to explain in how many ways it is impossible.*
'"Go beyond the impossible and kick reason to the curb."'
*Another quote. Heh. Which one of your teachers is that from? Dark Schneider? Spider Jeruselum? Mister Torgue?*
'Not from any teacher, but from the one fictional character I hold above all others. The man's man's man, idol of millions and most inspirational character from any anime ever. Kamina.'
*Huh. I'll have to look him up later. Are you ready for the next step?*
'Fuck. Yes. But before I do this, I need some appropriate music. Can you play any music on your horn?'
*I can provide. What do you need?*
'Celldweller, Through The Gates. Can you make it happen?'
*Done.*
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The moment that the music began, Diretusk knew that something big was about to happen, and unfortunately for him, he was not disappointed. A long black claw suddenly appeared in the area where Arabus heart would be, if he had one, and then moved quickly downwards, cutting a long slit downwards. From the gap emerged... well, it was hard to describe it in words. It was as tall as Arabus, with a long, flowing body of darkness starting from the ground, an undulating mass that seemed as much smoke as it was substance, until it reached midway up the entity's body, and became seemingly more solid. From there, it's torso took on an appearance similar to that of a minotaur, in that it had a chest and two arms, but no minotaur had ever possessed claws like those, claws clearly meant for the rending of flesh and bone...
Atop the creature's body was a head, which resembled King Sombra's but only in the way that a mackerel's face might resemble a shark's: Sombra had simply looked like a stallion with fangs. This... thing looked as if someone had mated a pony with some great saurian predator from pre-history, granting it viciously pointed teeth clearly not meant for an Equine mouth, and yet the red eyes, aglow with malice and leaking a dark purple smoke, the long, flowing black mane (albeit far longer and wilder than it had ever seemed before), and that blood red horn, were clearly King Sombra's. However, the thing that most arrested Diretusk's, and Arabus', attention, was the four-pointed white star glowing on the Sombra-thing's chest.
Diretusk's disbelief was clear, even in Arabus' own thunderous voice, when he exclaimed, "HE ATE A STAR!?!?!"
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The assembled boarcs on the ground below, exclaimed, nearly in one voice, "HE ATE A STAR!?!?"
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The mares and archon inside of Sanctuary, watching the events unfold in disbelief, exclaimed, almost as one, "HE ATE A STAR!?!?!"
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Discord, who had been eating popcorn and drinking a milkshake atop a nearby mountain while watching events unfold, released one of the most spectacular spit-takes ever performed, even by a being such as himself, and exclaimed, "HE ATE A STAR!?!?!?!?"
After a moment, he added, "Not bad. I wish I'd thought of that..."
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Grinning evilly, with a mouthful of teeth that would have made a t-rex's, shark's, and aligator's look pathetic in comparison, I said, with a voice that rattled the heavens, "I ate a star." My grin grew wider as I added, "I hope you're ready, because there are no brakes on the murder train."