"I thought it would take you a month to get here!" Diretusk roared (Well, more like squeaked, really) at the boar returning with the box containing Arabus. In truth, the razorback had been gone less than a minute, but the soldier kept quiet. The way things were looking, Hogwash would be a mercy compared to what Diretusk might do to anypiggy who drew his ire right now.
The box was small, little more than a cube the size of Diretusk's head, and completely unadorned, save for the bronze hinges. There wasn't even a lock on it. Of course, Arabus knew better than to come out unless he was summoned, and nopiggy else would dare try to open the box without the master present. Arabus' loyalty only extended to Diretusk, and no one else, due to the Subjugation spell...
Anyone else who opened the box would regret it for the rest of his life, both seconds of it.
Without hesitation or delay, the piglet opened the box, and shouted, "COME FORTH, ARABUS! YOUR MASTER BECKONS!"
A massive gray cloud erupted from the box, seeming far larger than such a small container could hold. Within seconds the cloud took on a form similar to the upper body of a massively obese minotaur, but with an oddly shape head. It had no muzzle, no horns, just a small nose, yellow eyes, and huge, dark gray eyebrows. However, it was gigantic, easily as tall as thirty Razorbacks, standing atop each other's backs, and twice as wide. "You summoned me, my master?" the cloud fiend, Arabus, asked with a bow.
Pointing towards the floating fortress, Diretusk shouted, "Capture that fortress for me. The shadows of every pony inside are yours, but do not allow them to leave this place!"
The cloud fiend glanced over to the fortress, gave another bow, and said, "It shall be so, my master."
And with that, the fiend turned into a cloud again, and zipped off towards the fortress. The soldier couldn't help but shudder slightly at the thought of what was in store for the ponies inside: He'd been there for the capture of Arabus, and had seen what happened to a pony whose shadow had been devoured by the fiend. Arabus ate much more than just their shadows...
------------------------------------------
The archon suddenly exclaimed, "ATTENTION, ATTENTION, THREAT APPROACHING!!!"
I'd been enjoying the feel of the mountain lifting up, watching the outer shell of the mountian falling away on the holographic display in the center of the room, so it took me a minute to realize what was going on. I immediately replied, "Then turn on the forcefield, then blast it with the energy projectors."
The archon paused, then said, "Unable to comply. While the passive shield and the point defense projectors are active at this time, due to secondary power sources, the energy sources responsible for supplying power to the active field and the primary projector are still in startup mode. Expected time before power up is complete... eighty-seven minutes."
Sparkling Sunset asked, "Then... how about we just fly away?"
Not a bad idea. I mean, I was talking about standing and fighting earlier, but this was a completely different situation...
"Unable to comply," the archon announced. "The primary power sources also provide energy to the levitation crystals which give Sanctuary mobility. Currently, the facility's top speed is the equivalent of a slow walk."
On the holographic display, something became visible. It looked like a cloud. A dark, nasty storm cloud with a face. "I'm assuming that would be Arabus, the cloud fiend," I noted.
"Not good," Ladyhawke said with a gulp. "With him up here, we're sitting ducks."
The cloud abruptly stopped as it hit some sort of invisible barrier, presumably the passive shield. "Well, there's no way he can get in with the shield in his way," I said, confidently. A typical forcefield encloses a floating fortress like the shell of an egg. There wouldn't likely be any way for him to get through...
The cloud backed away, and took on a vaguely humanesque shape. As it did so, Sunset said, "You don't understand: Arabus is a cloud fiend, which means that he can do anything that a cloud can do."
Understanding came quickly as blue and white energy began crackling in Arabus' hands.
Anything a cloud can do includes flying, changing shapes, and throwing lightning bolts...
Arabus threw a bolt of lightning at Sanctuary, and when it hit the barrier on the display, the entire room rocked. Ponies were knocked off their hooves, and I admit, I almost lost my balance myself. Looking at the archon, I asked, "How many more of those can we take"
"At that intensity, we can take eighty more of those, at most, before we begin to lose non-critical systems, such as air filtration and circulation. After one hundred and twenty, we will be forced to choose between maintaining the shield and maintaining levitation capabilities. The target is out of range for the point energy projectors." So we'd be forced to let him in, or drop. Either option would likely be fatal...
Steadying herself, Sunset said, "It wouldn't matter: Arabus is almost completely intangible. The last time he was stopped, it required the combined efforts of all the pegasai in Equestria to summon a whirlwind to strip his outer layers and reveal his core, and the princesses themselves in order to bind him and drag him away to Tartarus." The fortress rocked again violently, and when she steadied herself, she continued, "We're trapped..."
"No, we're not," I said, confidently. "I'll go out there, and do what you brought me back to do: Whoop serious fiend ass."
'Okay, Sombra, what kind of transformations does this body come with?'
*Transformations?*
'Every evil overlord has three modes of transformation, typically the first being an improvement on the kind that we're in now; then a larger, more bestial form; and finally, a smaller, but also faster and much stronger form that is typically hauntingly beautiful in a weird way, caused by crossing the Bishonen Line. The overall stats increase each time, and the overlord also gains new attacks and combat strategies, forcing their opponents to adapt or quickly be destroyed. Failing that, the standard go-to form for evil overlords since the days of Maleficent has been shapeshifting into a dragon.'
I'm not even going to mention giant snakes. Giant snakes are an epic fail. They just don't work. "Oh hey, look, I just transformed into a giant, wriggling quadriplegic whose primary means of attack is hugging or biting people! Fear me!"
*...The only transformation I have involves turning into a living shadow. It allows for greater mobility, but I can't utilize my full powers in that state.*
'What kind of evil overlord are you?'
*The kind who got killed by a magical rainbow of murder in ten seconds flat.*
'What did the rainbow taste like?'
*Pain. It killed me, remember?*
'Fair enough. Can we fly?'
*No. I can levitate objects, but flight isn't possible.*
'Can you levitate your own body weight?'
*I can levitate several times my own weight, easily. Why?*
'You'll see.'
"I have a plan," I announced, still confident. Turning towards the archon, I asked, "You mentioned that this facility has a means of harvesting water from clouds?"
Nodding, the archon said, "Yes. It is currently inactive, since it is a low priority function, with the water reserves nearly full."
Hopeful, I asked, "Can it filter out any contaminents from the clouds? Mundane or magical?"
"Affirmative," the archon replied, its head tilting, as if regarding me in confusion.
Grinning like a wolf, I asked, "How long would it take to activate that system?"
The facility rocked again, harder. It seemed that Arabus was gathering more energy for his attacks now. That meant we had more time between strikes, but it would also mean that it would take fewer hits before things went bad...
"Five minutes," the archon said, then added, "However, the passive field is automatically deactivated while the cloud harvesters are powering up, or in use."
"You're thinking of throwing Arabus into the cloud harvesters?" Ladyhawke asked, surprised.
"Yes, yes I am," I admitted, my evil grin growing bigger by the second.
"But you heard what the archon said," Sweet Melody protested, more shocked than anything else. "It will take five minutes to do so, and in the meantime, we'd be defenseless!"
"Which is why," I said, posing dramatically, "I'll be outside, keeping his attention away from Sanctuary."
The shocked looks of the assembled ponies were cut short by the fortress rocking again.
"Unless you've got a pair of wings up your sleeve," Ladyhawke stated, bluntly, "you're not going anywhere."
"I've already got that handled," I said, "but I will need a few things. Does anyone here have a violin?"
*Why a violin?*
'Clannad, Episode Eleven, The After School Rhapsody. The violin concert.'
There was a pause, and then Sombra burst out laughing.
*I'm not certain if you're insane, evil, or a genius, but as a distraction, it might work.*
"Pbbbt."
I turned around at the unusual sound, and saw a singularly unusual sight: It was a pony whose entire body mass seemed to be composed of the softest, fluffiest, fur imaginable. Dark purple in coloration, but with a splash of light blue where her mane would be, she was undeniably unique amongst the crowd. She locked eyes with me, her own eyes the most amazing blue I have ever seen...
And then she stuck out her tongue and went "Pbbbt" again.
"Excuse me?" I asked, a bit confused.
*I can't believe it. An honest to goodness Fluffy...* Sombra's voice was full of wonder as he said that, and for perhaps the first time, he sounded like something other than a total bastard.
'A what?'
*A fluffy pony. I've only heard of them, but they're an extremely rare subvariety of pony. I'm told that, prior to the founding of Equestria, they were hunted almost to extinction by evil wizards wanting to steal their magical fur. They're said to have mystical powers that defy all description...*
'Well, if being cute as fuck is a mystical power, then I'd say that the legends are true.'
The fluffy pony reached into her fur, and pulled out a violin, along with a bow. With another "Pbbbt", she handed it over to me.
"Thank you," I said, smiling gratefully. "I don't suppose you have a surfboard, do you?"
And wouldn't you know it, she reached in, and pulled out a bright pink surfboard. It was longer than she was tall, so I honestly don't know how that worked. Magic fur, maybe?
"In any color other than pink?"
"Pbbbt pbbbt," she replied, then stuffed it back in, and pulled out another one, this time blue and white.
"That'll do," I said, taking the surfboard as well. Half-joking, I asked, "I don't suppose you have a pizza in there, do you?"
*Pizza hasn't been invented here.*
'...The fuck did you just say?'
*There's no pizza here.*
'This place... this place has surfboards, but no pizza?'
*Honestly, I didn't realize we even had surfboards yet. But pizza is a definite no.*
'I'm going to have to teach them how to make one.'
*This isn't like Earth, where you can go to the store for a bag of flour, mozerella, and whatnot. You'll need to have it made from scratch, and during this time period, making things from scratch means you're involved from the moment things come out of the ground.*
'I can do that.'
*...Seriously?*
'You can read my memories, right? Look up preparation number eighty-seven for the zombie apocalypse.'
*...Why would you even...?*
'Because I don't care if civilization is coming to an end and zombies are out to eat my flesh, I am going to have some fucking pizza when I want it, even if I have to cook it with a shovel over a campfire. Take from that what you will.'
Meanwhile, Miss Fluffy was putting on the grandmother of all sad faces, fit to break the heart of Sauron, Gargamel, and Cobra Commander themselves. Giving a cheerful smile, I said, "It's okay, you're still the best pony ever."
The fluffy one gave an excited gasp, put both her front hooves to her cheeks and gave an expression that I could only describe as a Visual Diabetes Inducer. She then pounced on me, giving me the fluffiest hug I had ever been given...
Seriously, no one can hug you better than a fluffy pony. Scientific fact.
The fortress rocked again, knocking the two of us loose. I turned towards the archon and said, "I need you to lead me to the closest exit, and quickly."
The archon nodded, and said, "Follow me."
I turned to the others, gave a bow, and said, "I'll be back." With nothing further than that, we left the room.
*Are you sure you're ready for this?*
'Are you kidding? I've always wanted to murder a cloud.'
-------------------------------------------
"Do you think he'll be able to do it?" Sparkling Sunset asked the fluffy pony, after Sombra and the archon were out of earshot.
The fluffy one said, "If he were the Sombra I knew in my youth, I'd say no. If he were the Sombra that terrorized the Crystal Empire, I'd say probably not. Neither one would be a match for a fiend, especially not one in its home element." She paused, and then said, "But he is neither. He may look like Sombra, but he doesn't act like him, or talk like him, or walk like him. I'd almost swear that I was looking at another pony wearing my former best friend's skin..."
"Resurrection isn't exactly something well studied, so there's no telling what happened to him when we brough him back. I'm sorry, Hope. I know how seeing him again must hurt you," Sunset said, sadly.
"If we survive the next fifteen minutes, there will be plenty of time to sort this all out. In the meantime, it's better if he thinks that Radiant Hope is long gone..."
---------------------------------------------
*So this is your crazy plan...*
'Oh please. This isn't one of my crazy plans.'
*We're about to go confront a cloud fiend in the sky, which is his home turf, by the way, and we will do something that is intended to draw his ire, something that any sane pony would go to great lengths to avoid. We'll only be armed with a violin and a surfboard, and we'll have to keep him focused on us for five minutes, minimum. Our offensive spells would do little more than amuse him, so we'll have no means of fighting back against him if things go bad. And all of that is so that we can use a system whose reliability is highly questionable, but you think will absorb and destroy him. Maybe. You're not sure.*
'Pretty standard, really. I've done stuff like this dozens of times.'
*In video games.*
'Like my dreams or delusions are any different?'
*This isn't a dream or a delusion.*
'Said the voice of the evil unicorn wizard king in my head, without even the slightest trace of irony.'
*Heh. Fair enough. I'll let that drop for now. But this is still a crazy plan.*
'Sombra, I'm a student of Dark Schneider, Deadpool, Lelouch Vi Brittannia, The Joker, Captain Tylor, Mister Torgue, Eikichi Onizuka, and Spider Jeruselum. Believe me when I say that you couldn't handle my crazy plans.'
*I don't know who any of those people are, and yet, somehow, you mentioning the fact that you view them as idols fills me with an inexplicable feeling of dread...*
'Heh. That only shows that you're still sane. Alright, let's go piss off a cloud...'
--------------------------------------------
The floating fortress was beginning to get on Arabus' nerves for several reasons. First and foremost, it was a mountain, and mountains should not fly. As a ruler of the sky, that, in and of itself, would have been enough to anger the cloud fiend. However, it was also proving to be an incredibly resilient fortress, having taken more than a dozen of the strongest lightning bolts that he could summon, and its barrier was still standing. There was a feast inside, a soft gooey center that set his mouth to watering, but this hard outer shell was proving tougher to crack than he'd expected...
Arabus was hungry. To be fair, he was always hungry. He was hungry for shadows, and hungry for power. The fact that devouring the shadows of other creatures put them into a death-like coma due to his having devoured a sizable portion of his victim's soul in the process meant less than nothing to him. All that mattered to him was eating more, growing stronger, and serving his new master.
Preparing another lightning bolt, the fiend's concentration was broken by a pony riding a surfboard in midair appearing directly in his face. "May I have you attention, please?" the pony asked.
Snorting at the absurdity of the floating pony, Arabus waved his hand in front of his face, forcing the pony to back away. "Begone, knave, lest I smite you down here and now," he snarled at the floating unicorn.
The unicorn floated over towards the cloud fiend's ear. Assuming the unicorn was leaving, Arabus began readying another lightning bolt... and suddenly shrieked, clutching his ear as an incredibly loud and terrible noise seemed to fill the entire world.
If you fed a thousand cats tail first into a giant meat grinder, a giant rusty meat grinder that was powered by the souls of the damned, then you might, just might, have an inkling of how terrible that sound would be. Arabus was almost perfectly intangible, but he could still see and hear. Bright lights could hurt his eyes, and a sufficiently loud and discordant noise would hurt his ears...
The unicorn's voice asked, "Do I have your attention now?" He sounded unbearably smug.
Turning towards the floating unicorn, who was now grinning evilly and playing a violin... well, playing was not the correct word for it. He was using the instrument to generate a sound that had no place on this world or any other, and it seemed that he was using a spell to amplify the sound a thousand-fold...
A part of Arabus realized that this had to be some sort of distraction, but that part was drowned out by a desperate need to stop the agonizing cacophany that was coming from the unicorn and his instrument of torture.
The cloud fiend tried to swat the unicorn down, but the pony's surf board agily dipped below the outstretched arm as if it were moving in slow motion...
--------------------------------------
*Remarkable...*
'Heh, you know, I always wondered why other people have trouble seeing attacks coming on video games. It didn't occur to me that I was unique until I was in high school.'
*You have a natural talent for reading the movements of others, and have developed that talent its full potential, albeit in an unusual fashion. Had you been raised as a martial artist, you'd be untouchable. Had you been raised as a wizard, you'd be a prodigy...*
'Instead, I chose to be a gamer, so instead, I'm just awesome. Of course, it helps that this fat asshole is so slow, and his attacks are so badly telegraphed. Even if we hadn't spent a couple of minutes watching how he launches those lightning bolts, it would be child's play, dodging his attacks.' I paused, and then added, 'How are you holding up?'
*I can manage twelve spells simultaneously while carrying on a conversation and writing my thoughts down in a journal. I can easily manage just two while conversing with you, especially with you predicting the ideal flight path for us to take. We're already at two minutes, and he has yet to even get close with his attacks. So long as we track his line of sight, we can easily predict where each lightning bolt will be headed, and his extreme obesity does indeed make him pathetically slow. I'll admit, it seemed a crazy plan, but now that we're doing it, I can see why you felt it would be so easy.*
'Just stay on your toes, well, hoof-tips. The way things are going, we should be fine, so long as he doesn't try anything new.' I chuckled, and added, 'No one can hit me with a move I've seen at least once.'
------------------------------------------
Diretusk scowled up at the clouds, and were he not a small child with a limited vocabulary for profanity, he'd likely have cursed loudly and viciously enough to make the heavens weep.
It was obvious that the unicorn (and the piglet was almost certain that unicorn was Sombra) was distracting the cloud fiend. For what purpose was unclear, but there was bound to be a reason: The fortress had not launched an attack, but instead had simply taken the fiend's barrage, so there was a possibility that there were currently no active weapons on the floating citadel. However, the fact that Sombra was out here, distracting the fiend without attacking him, implied that some sort of weapon was being readied, else why would he be out here?
However, it was also obvious, even from so far away from the battle, that the sounds of the violin were suffient to keep the cloud fiend fully distracted, however long that distraction would be needed. It would be like having the mosquito from Hades buzzing in your ears: Instincts take over, and you cannot help but try to swat it away.
Diretusk himself would need to take a trotter and intervene, before this went any further...
Turning towards the Swineherd, he said, "I'm going in. Allow nopiggy near my body while I'm at work."
The massive boar nodded and said, "Yus, boss."
With that, Diretusk laid down, closed his eyes, and began calling upon the spell of Subjugation's true power...
Bringing the fiends under his command had been a side effect, although a welcome one, of the spells true intention. For a being like Diretusk, granted a small, weak body but immense magical powers, the spell's true form was something far more useful...
It allowed him to become something greater than himself.
There was a moment of transition, and then Diretusk was seeing the world through Arabus eyes.
^Master?^
#Move aside. I'm taking over.#
^Yes master...^
---------------------------------------------------
"Uh oh..."
That was all I'd had a chance to say before Arabus/Diretusk's new attack hit us from seemingly out of nowhere. The only warning that we'd had was that our hair began standing on end, and then BOOM!
Arabus didn't just throw lightning bolts, he could generate thunder as well. He'd simply clapped his hands together, and a massive blast of noise nearly deafened us both, causing us to flinch. For just two seconds, we were sitting ducks. That was more than long enough. While still trying to recover, he'd simply snapped his fingers, and launched a small lightning bolt at us. Well, small is a relative term. It wasn't a fortress breaker like last time, but for a pony, it was more than enough, given how fast and accurate it was.
The attack destroyed the surfboard and violin in an instant, and our magic instantly went out. The intense pain of being electrified had disrupted Sombra's concentration, so that, even if the surfboard had remained intact, we'd not have been able to keep airborne. It was a testament to Sombra's physique that the blow had only hurt us, rather than slaying us outright. Almost any other pony would have been reduced to a smoking cinder on contact.
*Blast it! I can't work magic! Our body is still feeling the effects of the last attack. We'll need at least a minute before we can shake it off...*
But without something for us to stand on, it wouldn't have mattered much, even if we'd had the time necessary to recover. We were already headed for the ground at high speeds. I estimated that we'd have about thirty seconds before we hit the ground.
On the heels of that revelation came two more: One, getting hit by that lightning bolt had hurt, so there was no way that this could be a dream. This was real. Painfully real. Number two? We were about to die, and without me there to distract Arabus, the mares were going to join me pretty quickly...