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// Today I Reach Out To Others 
// Story: I Am Going To Save And/Or Destroy Equestria! 
// by Bucking Nonsense 
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I hate being the bearer of bad news.  Seriously, I do.  It started back when I lost my dad.  He died when I was about six or seven.  I didn't learn how until years later, but the long and short of it was, my father had broken his own rule about gambling, and wagered more than he could afford to lose... and did so over and over again, each time digging himself deeper and deeper into debt.  Once he'd succeeded in putting himself deep enough into the hole that there was no way of ever getting out, an... example was made of him.  I doubt the... good fellows who did so knew of my existence, or I would have been used as the example instead.  Regardless, my father was killed, his internal organs were, according to the suspicions of the investigating officers, sold on the black market, and his remains dumped where they'd be easy to find.  No Jimmy Hoffa treatment for him, they wanted everyone to know what happened to my dad.  My mother, bless her soul, had died not long after I was born, so that meant that I was on my own.
So, I ended up getting the news from some poor bastard who, I could tell, would have gladly payed money, hell, would have sold himself into indentured servitude, if it meant he didn't have to tell a little boy that daddy was never coming back.  The pain, writ large upon his face as he struggled to work his way through that horrible little explanation, struck me hard, harder than my father's death, and I swore I'd do all I could to avoid having to give news like that if I could.
So you can imagine how much I hated having to explain why I couldn't just go into the Crystal Empire and kill the fiends...
"So you mean to tell me," Ladyhawke began, disbelief written plain upon her face, "that just because of how I worded that promise, you won't be able to fight the fiends?"
"Technically," I said, "I can't kill the fiends inside of the Crystal Empire.  If they took even one step outside, I could take them, but as long as they're inside of the city, I can't touch them and still keep that promise."
Ladyhawke thought about that for a moment, and then asked, "Does it really matter?  I mean, it was just a verbal agreement.  I can just say that I changed my mind, and you wouldn't..."  She paused, realized that taking it back completely would mean I had free rein to do whatever I pleased in her home town, and said, "Or maybe just say that the fiends are the exception."
Discord, watching this with amusement, said, "I'm sorry to say it doesn't work that way."  At the surprised looks he received from the assembled mares, he chuckled, then said, "I've been around for eons: I may not make use of blood magic, but I know more about it than most of you ever will."  Pulling out a chalkboard and a piece of chalk from nowhere, the master of chaos said, "Let me break it down to you."
Discord drew a crude drawing of myself, and then drew several ponies similar to the mares at the table, and then drew a line connecting me to each of the others.  "When you revived our dear King Sombra here, a contract or sorts was created, linking all of you to him.  Oh, it wasn't the kind that was written or anything like that, but a sort of... debt was incurred, and payment would, sooner or later, be required.  However, how that debt was paid was up to you and your recently resurrected ruler."
The drawings of ponies began moving about, and Discord continued as the pony pictures seemed to engage in conversation.  "Here's where things get a little tricky: Once the payment for that debt is decided upon, it can't be changed.  End.  Of.  Story.  However, once that debt is paid, then while that connection remains between you and the king, there's no actual requirement that he has to meet.  In the meantime, Sombra can do anything he wants or needs to do, and as long as he keeps his promises, nothing will happen."
One of the 'mares' and I climbed onto a four poster bed, complete with obscuring bed-curtains, and after a few seconds, the bed began rocking back and forth.  "Even if one of you should lose your virginity at this point in time, it won't have any ill effects, even if our golden boy here is the one you give it to."  Mares all across the room blushed bright red, and I admit, I might have blushed a bit, myself.
"However..."
The picture reset to the way it had looked at the start.  One of the 'mares' dropped dead in a cutesy, cartoony sort of way, and suddenly, so did 'I'.  The picture reset, and a mare seemed to ask a question, and 'I' gave a seemingly negative response, and 'I' promptly died.  The picture reset one final time, and it showed 'me' ignoring all of the mares as a calendar began dropping pages.  After what looked like a year had passed, 'I' dropped dead.
Discord, suddenly very serious, said, "If one of you dies before that debt is repaid, then Sombra dies.  If Sombra does not keep up his end of whatever promise he makes to you, then he dies.  And if he goes for one year without having repaid all of his debts, then he dies..."
And then suddenly, all of the other mares dropped dead as well.
"...and if Sombra dies before all of his debts are repaid, then every mare who took part in his revival will die with him."
Well... fuck.  Maybe there's a reason why resurrections are the exception, not the rule.  Ladyhawke gave Sparkling Sunset a long look, while the unicorn's expression simply proclaimed, louder than words, 'I swear, I had no idea!'  Well, at least we were all in the same boat... even if it was a leaky little bastard.
"The good news is that, if he is using the power to keep his promise, our boy will be able to make use of the energy equivalent of one drop of virgin's blood to keep his end of the bargain, and if the one he's keeping that promise to is no longer a virgin, that energy 'debt' is pulled from the remaining mares that are.  As you already know, that is a great deal of energy.  Enough, for example, to turn a doll into a living, breathing mare."
I looked over to another table, where Rosy Sunrise was sitting in Miss Bubbles' lap, and getting fed pancakes by the one-time doll.  Miss Bubbles noticed me and gave a cheerful wave.  I waved back, and then turned my attention back to Discord.  "So, basically, 'Be careful what you wish for, because you might just get exactly what you wished for?'"
Grinning, Discord said, "Precisely.  Ah, and to add one more wrinkle, you have a minor problem that, if not resolved soon, may become a very... serious."  He cleared his throat, and said, "Arabus' power.  You can't hold it forever, Sombra."
I raised an eyebrow, and asked, "Why's that?"
Discord sighed, then said, "If it were possible for any being to hold all of the great powers forever, then someone exceptionally greedy would have just gone on a killing spree, took all of the great powers into himself, and become an absolute ruler of the world by now.  You can hold the power, for now, but you'll have to pass that power on to someone else sooner or later, or the two powers inside of you will come into conflict.  Before long, the friction between the two forces will become unbearably painful, and not long after that...pop goes the pony.  So, taking the power for a little while is fine, but you'll have to find someone else to take it from you.  I'd say... three days at most before it starts getting unpleasant.  After that, you'll have a day at most before the end.  And that will hold true for every one of the true fiends that you defeat."
Fair enough.  I suppose that made a certain amount of sense.  I couldn't help but wonder, though, if the ones who held the power of the sun and moon were dead, then where were those powers now?
Something I'd need to look into later, if I wanted to have any hopes of fixing the sky...
I cleared my throat, and said, "Alright, first off, all wishes will need to be ha... hoof-written, and I will need to read them thoroughly so that I can be certain that I can uphold both the letter and the spirit of the request.  And second, I'm going to need to find somepony worthy of taking Arabus' power off my ha... hoofs."  I was rattled, I admit, enough so that I nearly said hands twice instead of hooves.  Suddenly, my life had gotten a whole lot more complicated.
*Well, at least you can get laid now without worrying about dropping dead.*
'Shut up, Sombra.'
The good news was, as a student of computer programming, I had learned a great deal about how to word things properly.  Computers, unlike people, are perfectly literal: They do exactly what they're told, not what you think you're telling them.  If I was going to pull off 106 more promises without accidentally destroying myself via logical paradox, I'd have to be absolutely certain that I did not agree to something that was completely different from what I thought that it was.
"Your... your majesty..."
I turned towards the sound of the voice... and my jaw nearly dropped at the sight of the biggest mare I had ever seen.  It wasn't a bigness based on fat, or bulk, but on height, and on well sculpted muscle.  How I'd missed seeing her before, I have no idea, honestly.  The other ponies in the room were varying degrees of cute, but the mare in front of me could only be called 'stunning'.  People have ideas about what an 'amazon' looks like, typically involving a hot chick with a prop sword and a fur bikini, who basically looks like a stripper or a porn star and lacking the muscle to actually lift and use real steel.  This mare looked like, if she were human, she'd be tall enough, and strong enough, to use one of those fakers as a melee weapon, and could probably even dual wield!  
She was, I quickly determined, built to what was probably ideal mare standards... but at three hundred percent scale, at least.  She was, I realized, the first mare I had met who was able to look me in the eyes without looking up...
I'd not realized the size difference between myself and the mares around me until now, or the fact that it had changed significantly in the last twenty-four hours.  I'd known I was larger than the ponies around me, but then again, I was a male and a unicorn tyrant wizard to boot: Of course I'd have an imposing stature.  Now, however...
It appeared that I was just as gigantic as the 'amazon' in front of me, if a bit broader in the shoulder.
She looked at me, as if afraid to speak.  I wondered if this might be the first time that she'd been afraid of anything in her life, even with all the shit happening in the world today.  After an uncomfortable moment, I asked, "Yes?"
She lifted up, with one hoof, and I saw a slip of paper in her grasp.  She began to speak.  "My name is Storm Cloud, your majesty, and I..."
My right hoof shot forward, and gently pressed her lips shut.  Taking the paper with my other hoof, I asked, "Don't speak, just nod.  You have on here what you want from me?"
She nodded.
I smiled, and said, "Alright, let me read it, and then we'll talk.  Deal?"
She nodded again.
I opened the note, and studied it for a moment, careful to make certain no one else could see what it said.  I was fairly certain that Xena, Warrior Princess, over there would have been mortified if I shared what I suspected would be inside.  Three items.  Heh, she was going to ask me to make everything on that list happen.  Clever, trying to get multiple gains from one wish...
Okay, Item One, no biggie.  As a king, I could grant a title of knighthood, I was certain, and she certainly had the build to prove herself capable of doing what the job entailed.
Item Two, wanting to avenge her father's death?  There might be a few bumps, but I thought it was doable.  Hell, I was all for these girls taking an active role in taking their country back.
And then there was Item Three.
Okay... I'm going to say this right now, I have an amazing poker face.  I had to, in order to be able to pull off the trick I'd done back in Vegas.  I can, when necessary, remain perfectly blank at need.  Otherwise, super-equation or not, I wouldn't have performed nearly as well as I had.  Still, I almost lost my shit upon seeing that one.
Okay, I knew that it was likely to happen: Somepony, sooner or later, was going to want to have my royal babies, and would try to use a 'wish' to do so.  I was too handsome now for that not to happen, even if I did have a reputation as a 'bad boy'.  Hell, as a king, it was more or less expected that I secure at least one heir to the throne, even if I lived for thousands of years.  However, I'd need to figure out a way to stem the tide of eager volunteers for the honor, or I'd have to start beating the mares off with a stick.
I looked the mare over, and thought to myself, 'Well, that's an awfully big stick right there.'
I noted the somewhat... fanciful hoofwriting, and came to an immediate conclusion.
"Somepony wrote this for you?"
She nodded.
"Then we won't go with this," I stated, tearing up the note and then having Sombra use a spell to burn it.  Before she objected, I said, "We just had a lesson on how we have to be very careful how wishes are worded and submitted.  If I had accepted that, then I'd have to do all of those services for whoever wrote the note, rather than for you.  Had she written it with your name as the recipient, then that would have been fine.  However, we'll work with what we've got."  Giving her an appraising look, I asked, "Turn around in a full circle, please?"
She complied, turning around slowly.
'Well, what do you think, Sombra?'
*You're asking my opinion?*
'I'm not a judge on Equestrian beauty, and folks expect the bride, consort, or concubine of a king to be beautiful.  You're a local, tell me what you think of her.'
*...Well, she's very tall, but given that you're alicorn-sized, that just means that she's the same height as you are.  She's also very fit, physically, so unlike most of these frail flowers, you're unlikely to break her on accident.  And her face...*
'What about it?'
*There are sculptors who would have wept at being given the opportunity to chisel a bust of her.  She has both a regal bearing and profile, I won't deny it.  She's beautiful, even if she is the second biggest mare I've ever seen.*
'Second?'
*Princess Celestia was a couple of inches taller, but not as... chiseled.  Her majesty's love for cakes was well known, and was obvious to all, given the width of her hindquarters.*
'And she was an alicorn?'
*Yes, of course she was, dimwit.*
'Hmph.  One of these days, you're going to call me Ambrose, you know that, right?'
*If I do, it will be because you've earned it.*
I gave a smile, and said, "I think that, if we put our heads together, we can work out a written arrangement that will match your... intent in a satisfactory manner."  I looked over at the others at the table, and said, "We'll need to continue our conversation later.  The young lady and I need to hammer out a proper contract, and it's a rather... private wish."
The others took the hint, and stood, nodded, and moved to another table.  Sombra cast a spell, summoning a sheet of paper, an ink pot, and a quill.  I promptly began writing.
I had an idea forming in my head.  It was a little tricky, but I was almost certain that it would work out favorably for everyone.  If I worded it right, she'd get her knighthood, her shot at vengeance, and her chance at that sweet, sweet loving that it was clear she was wanting.  Plus, there would be an escape clause that would, if something went wrong, would keep her failure from killing us all.  Not that I thought that she'd fail, mind you, but as a king, I had to be absolutely certain that I remained alive now, for the sake of my subjects.  If I went down, I'd drag every one of them, mare and filly, down with me.
I forget the exact verbiage, but the original contract has been preserved and can be viewed in the Royal Archives.  The gist of it is that she would be granted the title of knight of the realm, as well as founder and knight-commander of her order.  Upon accepting her title, she would be granted the powers that I had taken from Arabus, and she would be honor-bound to accept a quest, that being to hunt down and slay the Raptorians, or die in the attempt.  If she succeeded, then she would return, and be granted the title of Royal Consort.  Basically, if she killed the Raptorians, I'd marry her, and she'd get all the nookie she wanted, whenever we felt the need, or desire, to do so.  If she died, though, the contract was void: I did my part by giving her the strength to exact her vengeance, and the opportunity, the rest fell on her shoulders alone.
Yes, yes, I know, not terribly romantic, but let's get down to brass tacks: She'd basically just handed me a note a couple of minutes ago that said, 'Take me, hot stuff, I'm all yours.'  Not terribly romantic on her part, either, you have to admit.  She was offering, all I was doing was accepting, and making sure that no one would, in the future, accuse me of fathering any bastard children.
Anyways, one drop of blood, according to King Sombra, could form an unbreakable magical contract.  Thus, not only would her wishes be granted, but the energy surplus that would normally occur (The kind that had converted a doll to a flesh and blood pony with my previous act of good will) would go solely to the enforcement of the contract, instead of shooting all over the damned place and doing who the fuck knew what.  I honestly worried that, if the energy was not properly dispersed and I started getting into it with a mare, then it might end up with me imitating that bit from Heaven's Lost Property, and I'd end up shooting lasers from my... well, no need to be quite that profane, I suppose.
*You know this means that you can't back out of... doing the deed, right?*
Ah yes, the crux of the dilemma: Two legs good, four legs bad.  Well, like I said before, this was my new normal.  I wasn't likely to be going back home, so if I was ever going to raise a family of my own, I'd have to 'go native'.
I wasn't quite ready for it yet, but since I doubted she was going to be slaying the Raptorians in the next five minutes, I had time to acclimate myself to the idea.
'True.  However, with me being a married stallion, and with a bride of her... stature, no less, it will dissuade all but the most persistant admirers from wishing for a taste of King Sombra's Delicious Sausage.  So, I'll just have to deal with one desperately horny mare, instead of dozens.'
*Heh.  True.  You will need to find more stallions soon, though.*
'That is definitely on the agenda.'
I pointed to the completed contract, and said to Storm Cloud, "Please read this, and confirm that it meets with your approval."
Storm nodded, studied the contract, and after a moment, she turned back, and nodded.  "I approve, your majesty."  She was definitely blushing.  I admit, even if she did look a bit like She-Hulk in pony form, she was cute when she blushed.
I turned towards the other mares around the room, and said, in my best 'royal proclamation' voice, "Hear me now!  With the signature of this contract, I do hereby declare that a new order of knights will be formed!  Storm Cloud, the mare beside me, shall be the founder, knight-commander, and first member of her order.  She will, upon signature of this contract, be granted the power I took from Arabus, and tasked with hunting down the three fiends known collectively as the Raptorians.  Upon her triumphant return, she and I will be wed."  I paused, giving that a chance to sink in, as well as the ramifications.  In short, I was saying that I was going to wed a mare who was going to kill fiends.  Not one, but three of them in one go.  So, if you thought you were better qualified to be the king's bride, you'd better do something pretty impressive.  No, you'd better go out and do something fucking spectacular!
I passed Storm Cloud the quill, the tip wet with ink, and said, "You may sign when you're ready."
To her credit, she didn't hesitate.
When she finished signing, I was prepared to ask Sombra for how to perform the transfer, but as it turned out, the contract she had just put quill and ink to, now being magical in nature, took things into its own hands.  The static-like feeling beneath my skin faded, and suddenly, Storm Cloud was wreathed in blinding light.  For a moment, my sight was robbed from me.  When it returned...
Well, Discord did say that fiends and alicorns were similar to one another...
Looking up at the horn that was now sitting atop her head, Storm Cloud nervously asked, "I'm... not any taller, am I?"  I could tell, just by the tone of her voice, that she couldn't bear the thought of being any more... statuesque than she already was.
"You might be an inch shorter," I said immediately.  Well, she might have been, I don't know.  I didn't take the time to measure her.
That did seem to lighten her mood.  She took a deep breath, and then turned to me, and said, "Knight Commander Storm Cloud, reporting for duty, your majesty."  She paused, then added, "An order needs a name, your majesty, and it typically falls to royalty to give that name."
I nodded.  I had half-hoped that she would volunteer one, but I had an idea in mind.  It was a simple name, but with proper presentation, I thought it would catch on quickly.  I'd heard and read a thousand speeches, in anime, manga, comic books, and fantasy novels.  Now was the time to use that knowledge...
I turned to the mares, and said, calmly, "One year ago, the fiends escaped from Tartarus, and while Equestria has done all it can do to try to stem the tide, ponykind has become nothing but prey to them.  They ravage our villages, they rob our citizens of everything and everyone they love, and they give us no more thought than a wolf might give the feelings of a rabbit as it leaps for the kill.  I say this now, and I say it to all of you gathered here today from the depths of my heart."  I looked over the assembled mares, all of them looking at me in expectation.  "That. Ends. Now.  We will no longer be the weak mice, caught in the claws of the cat.  We will no longer be the frightened lambs, fleeing the fangs of the wolves.  We will no longer be the tiny bees, fearing the might of the hungry bear.  We begin taking back what is ours, and to do that, we will not simply wait for the enemy to come to us.  No.  We will seek the enemy out, in whatever hole he may retreat to, and bring an end to him.  The days when we could just seal our enemies away and pretend they no longer existed are gone.  From now on, if something tries to harm Equestria, we will hound that nemesis to the ends of the world and beyond, until we are certain beyond all doubt that they will no longer come after us."
I took a deep breath, and concluded, "Are we the prey?  No, from this day forward, we are the Hunters."
I looked over the mares again, and asked, "Are we the prey?"
There was a moment of stunned silence, and then Rosy Sunrise, bless her tiny little heart, shouted with all the force her little lungs could give her, "NO!  WE ARE THE HUNTERS!"
Storm Cloud, with an impressively loud voice, the kind you might hear over the din of  a battlefield, asked, "ARE WE THE PREY?!"
Many of the mares in the room caught on, and shouted, "NO!  WE ARE THE HUNTERS!!!"
Together, Storm Cloud and I asked in near-perfect unison, "ARE WE THE PREY?!"
The answer came full force from every equine throat, loud enough to rattle the silverware.
"NO!  WE ARE THE HUNTERS!!!"  
The mares began pounding on the tables, chanting "Hun-ters!  Hun-ters!  Hun-ters!" in unison.  It seemed I'd struck a chord with all of them...
Discord gave a slow clap, but said nothing else.  I would have thought it sarcastic, but the look on his face expressed genuine admiration.
*Not bad... Ambrose.*