• Member Since 22nd Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen Oct 1st, 2018

Dropbear


Are you a Rebel?

T
Source

From one barren wasteland to another, less barren wasteland, an Australian Information Technology worker finds himself stuck in the snow with nowhere to go. Armed with nothing but a cheap tool set and a three metre Ethernet cable, he must find a way to survive his new location. At least it can't get any worse... right?

Oh of course it can, it's a HIE.

Warning: Contains Australian, Changelings (of course), snow, occasional IT speak, less-than-stellar HIE satire, and shoddy humour not fit for a backyard comedy club.

Chapters (12)
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Comments ( 1081 )

lots of promise.
keep up the good work

Armed with nothing but a cheap tool set and a three metre Ethernet cable, he must find a way to survive his new location. At least it can't get any worse... right?

Just...you win.

Exactly how fat is he? Er.. You or whatever..

Ah the wonders of Australian colloquialisms. Though im disappointed you couldn't shoehorn "Cricky" in there somewhere. Still gr8 story m8 cant wait to see more.

5676445 Probably as fat, as I am skinny.(i.e. 102 pounds, 5'5") To put it simply, I sway in a stiff breeze.

The only reason why I can't give this a perfect rating is the fact that Nigel isn't in this.

~Crystalline Electrostatic~

My interest is piqued. Continue.:trixieshiftright:

On one hand no Nigel
On another an ozzie in equestria

Daniel "Green"

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight

5676548
Oh, look, I'm not the only one. (130 lbs at 6'4")

5676445
5676548

Why, my dear sirs\madams, whatever gave you the impression that this was a self-insert? I must assure you that it most certainly is not.

On a side note, fatter than he should be.

5676496
I have yet to hear an Australian aside from Steve Irwin use 'Crikey!' in everyday speech.

... However, there's still most of the fic to go.

5676565

There can only be so much Nigel.

5676586

Choke on a dick, 'Lorenzo'. I know where you live.

Huh, well at least you didn't put him in Ponyville, that would of been beyond cliche. Still hope to see more.

I love it when Aussie's go to Equestria.

5676730 Not sure if fun-loving Aussie banter, or if Lorenzo really needs a good dicking.

Oh no! A HIE story! Quick everybody, we need to downvote this!

5676775 "Celsius" is just another way of measuring temperature. The US uses Fahrenheit while a number of other countries (like here in the UK) use Celsius.

5676761 Don't worry, Dropbear will give me both.

5676791 More precisely, it's a unit of measurement, with temperature being the physical quantity that is measured. There are various ways to determine the temperature of an object or environment, for example by using diodes that change resistivity at different temperatures or by measuring the intensity of infrared light.

5676775
It's what happens when Celestia says "Sus" which is a YTP term commonly made by taking words beginning with "s" and reversing the audio midway

5676791
5676808
I think he may of been pointing out the spelling error... or he actually might of legitimately not known the definition, but hey, is was actually misspelt in the quote so who knows

Somehow I've got a mental image of him waking up and chasing a changling around with a pair of Stripmasters or regular strippers.

:rainbowlaugh:

5676797 Yep. Definitely need a good dicking.

The sun's to hot? It's all Tony Abbot's fault!
Daniel is forced into Equestria? It's all Tony Abbot's fault!
The next chapter's not up? It's all Tony Abbot's fault!
5676717 There isn't enough AIE (Auzzies in Equestria) stories? It's all Tony Abbot's fault!
5676565 Botaglove doesn't understand this reference? It's all Tony Abbot's fault!
5676496 There aren't enough true blue sayings in this story? Throw Tony Abbot on the barbie!
People are talking about how fat they are? It's all Tony Abbot's fault!
Lorenzo and others are fighting in the comments? It's all Tony Abbot's fault!

This is all solid and legit proof that everything is all Tony Abbot's fault!
pbs.twimg.com/media/BRtUmrbCIAI9TUJ.jpg
aussiememes.com.au/media/created/tony-abbott-and.jpg
m.quickmeme.com/img/92/923d1034e286824332f88ba5b0410f12a493c008d4a513354b9e97aab20bc14b.jpg
resources1.news.com.au/images/2013/04/10/1226617/293893-pm-nbn-reaction-meme.gif
2.bp.blogspot.com/-EG0q2CyZ8VA/U5IgVNNKQ-I/AAAAAAAAC4c/H9kEy8_YYaY/s1600/ta+monsters.jpeg
memeguy.com/photos/images/this-guy-from-outlast-looks-a-lot-like-australias-current-prime-minister-tony-abbott-78910.png

Forget Human curiosity, do not click the below image...
resources3.news.com.au/images/2009/11/30/1225805/212259-tony-abbott-091130.jpg
OH SWEET POSEIDON, BURN IT WITH FIRE!

Totally a self-insert Totally not a self-insert.

*Lays hand on shoulders.*

I know how you feel. Sometimes I get the urge to write Australians into my stories. It's comedy gold waiting to happen, after all. The only thing I want out of this fic is a Dundee quote.

5676844
That's not a horn, this is a horn.

Err 'Winter' ?
Other than this -interesting!

5676953

Yes, Winter, it's not an error.

You should see the summers here.

5676813
Actually...

Celsius, also known as centigrade, is a scale and unit of measurement for temperature. It is named after the Swedish astronomer Anders Celsius (1701–1744)

It's the correct spelling.

I swear to buggery

Only Australia would deify buttsex.

I like it! Praise Buggery. Swear to Buggery. All glory to Buggery!

forty dollar Kmart work shoes

Kmart, for when you're too white trashy for Wal-Mart.

It appeared that, somehow, starting his car had transported him from one barren wasteland to another. Except this one seemed slightly safer.

(sung to the tune of There are no Cats in America)
There are no clockspiders in Equestria.

Triple zero was tried anyway, and when that didn’t work he scrolled through his contacts to find the international emergency number that his first-aid instructor had told them. One-hundred and twelve also yielded no result, not even when tried three times.

Am I the only one who read this and immediately thought of International Rescue from Thunderbirds?

“Grrag ba ghraa!”

Pretty sure "Fuck this snow!" wouldn't sound like that to foreign ears. It would sound like "Fuck this snow!" but the foreign ears wouldn't know what those sounds mean.

I like this one already. Ok I caught a few spelling errors, or atleast I thought they were.
Line 11 plan should be plain, maybe?

Done the hallway.
Down

We're it's supposed to be
Where

To lazy to go find there paragraphs, so you'll just have to use control f

If this story doesn't at least contain dropbears, I'm going to be severely disappointed in wasting several seconds to transfer it to my Kindle. Then I'm going to glaze over its prose in a drunken fugue only to forget what I've actually read when I wake up hungover the next day.

If it does, I'm going to forget my ultimatum and make an empty promise to buy you a beer when I next visit Australia—which is never—then I'm going to click a couple things indicating my enjoyment of your story before stumbling over to a water faucet and spend the next ten minutes killing my hangover cotton mouth.

Alright, being a bit hyperbolic, there, but...it does at least have kangaroos, right? Maybe just Twilight suffering a mental breakdown over the evolutionary unlikelihood of the platypus?

5676496 yeah well if his greeting isn't the true blue "G'day Mate" or he doesn't like Vegemite or he says to put the shrimp on the barbie we know to sic the secret police on him. No one expects the Australian Inquisition.

5676993 Australia has no widespread Wal-mart

5676958... Damn. Well, it can dip below -20 F like it is now with -40 F windchill. In the summer it breaks 110F at times. I don't live in an extreme but we do get some messed up bipolar weather XD

Even though my mother has worked as an I.T Manager for the U.S Navy for more than two decades, I still know nothing about I.T work. I hope you'll explain what some things mean! I love to learn new things! <3

Also good lord at least finish your other stories before making a new one. You'll just make the delay between chapters longer! D:

Not bad, not bad at all.


Some typos/suggestions

In one plan room at the end of the house,

plain

With clothes in hand he made the short journey done the hallway,

down the hallway

The biped glanced at the weapon, before lowering down * onto the top of the same box that it had withdrawn it from.

I would add something like: "improvised/makeshift shiv" here

“Just what are you, an alien?” he muttered taking another look at the being’s face.

Q: Would a changeling call something new "an alien" in a world full of sentient species?

There was no course hair to keep it warm, only a curly, drenched, and brown mane.

coarse

Aphid!” he the winced, glancing towards the creature he was against.

Hehehehe. Alrighty, I enjoyed this more than I thought I would. Welcome to the favorite list.

Changelings, eh?^^ This sounds interestin'.:D

Since it involves Changelings, would it be alright to discuss with ya my theories in regards to them?

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