• Member Since 12th Feb, 2013
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Damien Darkside


Fimfic's own Twitch Whore. Catch me on stream!

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Being the Royal Advisor for Celestia and Luna, you've come up with solutions for many of the nation's problems.

Unfortunately you said a naughty word in front of a guard. Seeing as how these ponies are extremely sensitive, you lie your way out of it.

The events that follow could only be described as "completely stupid".

Rated Teen for naughty words being said.

Thanks to Zephyr for editing.

Featured within 1 hour and 30 minutes on Aug 12, 2015. Thank you guys so much!

Good thing I was reading this on the toilet, because this story made me lose my shit. -LeoneHaxor

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 291 )

I think my sides split open! :rainbowlaugh:

I should get that looked over. :pinkiecrazy:

Manes #2 · Aug 12th, 2015 · · 1 ·

This.

“Something the matter? Something the fucking matter? That faggot Blueblood won’t shut the fuck up about this trade agreement shit with the Zebras. Apparently the fucking niggers won’t take his deal. They know he is trying to practically fuck them up the asshole with his tiny cock. For fucks sake this is why all his little marefriends eventually become dykes! It is absolutely insane how much of his own shit he believes in and how he tries to control everyone!”

Is why Princess Luna is best pony. Celestia may take it, but Luna ain't taking nopony's shit! She done that for a thousands years with Celestia, she ain't taking it from mortals!

I love you. You are doing gods work.

I think you caused my jaw to drop to the floor....my dog is trying to chew on it:rainbowlaugh:

There are very few Comedy-tagged fics on this site that make me laugh.
This is now one of them
Jeeeesus this was amazing

You are a bad person by default for simply being canadian. Canadians are evul! :raritywink:

Truth expanded is what it is "comedy" :pinkiehappy:

6311978 You know not what you are talking about, :rainbowlaugh:

I.... guh.... i...i have no words other than...
You Glorious Bastard!... :moustache:

Ps: Get baked more often apparently you've got the drunken fist of authors
just you know with drugs....

“Something the matter? Something the fucking matter? That faggot Blueblood won’t shut the fuck up about this trade agreement shit with the Zebras. Apparently the fucking niggers won’t take his deal. They know he is trying to practically fuck them up the asshole with his tiny cock. For fucks sake this is why all his little marefriends eventually become dykes! It is absolutely insane how much of his own shit he believes in and how he tries to control everyone!”
BEST LINE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

umm umm words can't describe how funny this was. :rainbowlaugh:

You've ruined Equestria!

Must. not. post. South Park. clip!
...argh!

I'm Canadian though so I can't be a bad person.

True science fact.

6311946 Oh yeah well close enough

The grammar was iffy, but I'm smiling too hard to care.

6312006 Hm...

Combat = drunken fist.

Writing = stoned pen (?)

:rainbowwild:

ಠ_ಠ

What have I read and why did I enjoy it.

This has been featured and SWEET LORDY JESUS IT DESERVED IT!

6312002 Na your response should have been "Sorry"

Good Lord, this is glorious! :trollestia: :rainbowlaugh:

Celestia looked at you before placing a hoof on your shoulder. “I Celestia, Princess of the Sun and all that is good, hereby give you permission to fuck with my ponies.”

:rainbowlaugh::trollestia:

As someone who finds swearing to be unpleasant, this story is nevertheless funny.

6312195 I'm an exception among Canadians then; I barely apologize for anything anymore.

On the other hand, I do try to maintain a minimum level of courtesy out in public. For instance, I consider it an obligation to at least try and be a "sensible customer" when I'm out shopping; I'd be doing everyone a disservice if I were overly abrasive to employees that are just trying to do their jobs.

And for local stores near my house, it fosters a warm and unified community, :twilightsmile:

wlam #25 · Aug 12th, 2015 · · 1 ·

Celestia looked at you before placing a hoof on your shoulder. “I Celestia, Princess of the Sun and all that is good, hereby give you permission to fuck with my ponies.”

I am sceptical about that "good" part.

All of that build up for that last rant from Luna...

Wonderful.

6311924 Especially if it persists for more than 4 hours.

6311946 closeenough.jpg

6311956 Hey if he exists and didn't want this to happen he wouldn't have let it happen.

6311978 MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

6312006 That is appearing to be so. I have a Jackass inspired idea, and since I though people wouldn't like this fic I guess I gotta try it out.

6312184 Hour and thirty minutes, a new record for me. Thanks!

6312285 The Smoothie Scene was inspired by real life events where we didn't refund a couple who bought a large Confetti Cake Blizzard, didn't like it, wanted a refund and was denied, started swearing at us and then they proceeded to call the cops.

They had to be escorted out of the restaurant parking lot by the cops they called.

This is the best laugh I had in goddamn MONTHS! You sir are a god amongst mortals, and I bow to you thee!

That last bit...you win the Comedy medal of the year there, it made me lose it and that doesn't happen easily for me.

This is it. This is how I die. Asphyxiation due to to much laughter. *sigh* I had a good run, and there are worse ways to die

6312362

They had to be escorted out of the restaurant parking lot by the cops they called.

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

*deep breathing*
Okay, now that I can control myself, allow me to say, that was fucking awesome.

You brilliant, sick bastard. I love you.

This is fucking brilliant. You sir, have gotten a follow for the glorious trolling of the entirety of Equestria

Apparently the fucking niggers won’t take his deal.

10/10 would troll again.

Celestia is bestia. :trollestia:

6312553

this, all this, you deserve all this and more!

6312733 What do you mean by "this"?

Liked and Fav.

Go Buck Yourself! :trollestia:

I don't think I have anything to say to you except for:

FUCKING brilliant.

If I'm perfectly honest with you, your sentence structure can be a little awkward and long-running, and the second-person present-tense perspective can be a tad disorienting at times.

I have no idea why I'm critiquing your writing style instead of gushing about my favorite joke in the story.

Which, incidentally, is Celestia's casual mention of using spies to determine public opinion.

This story.. Fucking Hilarious!



On a side note:

After you got to Equestria in a dimensional mix-up involving something with a toaster, a quesadilla, an Austin Powers VHS and a botched teleportation spell,

Is it weird that i REALLY want to know how the hell this played out?

The room was audibly filled with shit.

My sides are in orbit.

I'm Canadian though so I can't be a bad person.

As a fellow Canuck, I can confirm this.

When I realized what was going to happen, I immediately started giggling and couldn't stop!:twilightsheepish:

Oh you beautiful genius, thanks for such a great story

This was some of the funniest shit I have read on a long while :pinkiehappy:

6312967 I'm right there with you on this one!



On another note! Loved the story! It was oh gosh I dont know what to say... FUNNY! There we go that word suits just fine!

Celestia looked at you before placing a hoof on your shoulder. “I Celestia, Princess of the Sun and all that is good, hereby give you permission to fuck with my ponies.”

Omit a 'my' from there and that sentence takes on a whole different meaning

I know :trollestia:

This fucking video needs a fucking audio read. Son of a bitch, if I didn't sound like faggot ass Mike Tyson(I love Tyson by the way, don't get it twisted) I'd do it my own damn self. Fucking shit pussy ass bitch...
(Nimbus do good?)

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