• Member Since 12th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen Tuesday

Damien Darkside

Fimfic's own Twitch Whore. Catch me on stream!


Going back to Earth.

It is something that you have thought of often. It seems like just an easy thing to think of right? After one year of staying in Equestria you discuss with Luna the complications of returning back home.

Then again there would be complications right?

A simple little story about the conversation that nobody ever really brings up in their fics. Of course I am writing it so it is rated Teen for a bit more adult themes. No clop.

Of course, edited by Zephyr

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Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 18 )

That's all. Nothing helpful from me

quite relaxing to read.

and thus, from now on, will be my head cannon for why it's stupid to even attempt to go back.


coors light is 4.2%. i wonder how weak pony beer would be...

I'm trusting you on that math.

also: i'm unable to up vote this for some reason.

This pleases me.

7135783 Doing the lord's work, buddy.

This one had more work on it than usual.
But it turned out just right!
Let's hope Damien will catch his muse sooner than later for the next story!

-Zeph the Editor

Not too bad. An interesting outlook on things. Though I don't think that the time differential would be that big a problem, unless an extremely long time had passed on Earth.

As I recall, you can't get a missing person declared dead for about 7 years, so until then most of his stuff (bank accounts, personal belongings, etc) would still be retained in some fashion. Of course, he'd obviously have lost his apartment/home due to not paying rent, his family likely had his stuff in storage or tossed, banking fees might have eaten into his savings, etc.

Mind you, most of those problems are the sorts of things that can be easily overcome if he pops back up at home with a bag full of gold coins and/or a sack of nicely cut diamonds.

He'd still need to explain his whereabouts of course. But so what? Disappearing for a year or three is NOT actually a crime. His response to investigators can simply be "None of your business." It would get him in a bit of hot water, and a lot of legal attention, but there wouldn't be much they could DO about it. And if he tells the truth? People will think he's nuts. But just being insane isn't enough to get you thrown into the loony bin. You have to be a danger to yourself and/or others. So as long as you don't go running around threatening to stab people with a fork "For The Glory of Princess Celestia," there's probably not much anyone can do about it. Especially if you've got the aforementioned bags of gold and jewels. (Rich people aren't crazy... they're eccentric!) :twilightsmile:

There is one bit that annoyed me though:

You didn’t tell Luna or other ponies too much about the technology of Earth. You didn’t want them to develop tech in a strange order or disturb their own development. Just like Star Trek’s rules about Prime Directive. Though to be honest you only saw the Tribbles episode.

This is the stupidest reasoning ever, and I hate it whenever I see it. There are perfectly legitimate reasons not to share technology or knowledge with a different race. Such as "I think they might invade Earth, so maybe it's a good idea not to help them replace their spears with AK-47s." But "I wouldn't want to mess up their quaint, native lifestyle" is ridiculous, insulting, and demeaning. Wanting them to go through the same development cycle we did is even worse! "Gee, I could help you guys out and improve your lives immensely by giving you knowledge of medicine, antibiotics, internal combustion engines, industrialization, long distance communications, and computers... Including all the pros and cons, side effects, and solutions we came up with. But I think it's far better for you to learn about antibiotic overuse and disease resistance, air pollution, radio bandwidth interference, and cute cat pictures all on your own!" Really? That's a total dick move.

And absolutely pointless because, get this, Equestria already has access to all that stuff through the mirror portal! Which means that either Twilight is absolutely oblivious to all the stuff on Equestria-Earth... Or the ponies are either slowly developing and introducing those technologies, or are perfectly happy with their magic and not interested in it. Which, hey, is a perfectly valid response. There's a big difference between the aborigines in the backwoods of Australia declining cells phones and refusing to offer them any because it might "Disturb their pristine native culture." Ugh. :facehoof:

Annndd.. that's it for me. Rant over! :moustache:

And pretty good story if it got me to write all that. :trollestia:

May I critique the chosen tags?

From the FAQ the tags should reflect "broad descriptors of a story's content or themes".

From the Writing Guide (a bit dated, but still applies) has this to say about [Comedy]:

Also, remember this: unless your story is packed to the brim with jokes and intended to keep the reader laughing all (or most) of the way through, it’s not comedy. Having little bits of humour sprinkled around your slice-of-life or adventure story is a good idea (if it fits the mood) and I encourage it, but a few jokes here and there are no reason to call your work a comedy.

It is my opinion that this story's main focus is not humour, some (crude) jokes sprinkled throughout aren't enough to make it so.

That same page has this to say about [Random]:

Random stories are similar to comedy ones, but tend to be a lot weirder and are often full of references to internet culture. This tag is good for trollfics.

It is my opinion that this description does not at all apply to this story.

The rest fit the story as well as the character tags. It is my humble request that you could review these changes.

This....is quite good. I would be interested if a full multi-chapter story was done with this.

woah! :rainbowhuh:
mind blown!:pinkiegasp: right there!:pinkiecrazy:
great fic btw!:twilightsmile:
i like it!:moustache:

Yey more romance than porn it must be Christmas

Good one shot with some form of logic in the travel department.:moustache: Have a like!

...Luna knows...

7139998 After a few more annoying tropes have been showing up on Fimfic, this actually might just get another chapter or two.

Specifically with pregnancy between humans and ponies.

I am just working too hard to write atm.


Damn fine work this is, nicely done dude.

Luna gave you a sly grin. “I have peered into your dreams. If thou perceive us as family then you have to find some other pony to fantasize over. Incest is not one of our… ‘kinks’ as you would say.”

Of course you would add this! How could I have not expected the one and only Damien Darkside to reference human x pony smut?

Here's another complication: what sane CBSA agent would let you back into the country with an "Equestria" stamp in your passport?

And, just out of curiosity, do you speak a language with the T-V distinction? The French have a word for what you did with Luna at the end ("tutoyer").

Pregnancy between humans and ponies... unless alicorns are part human, how is this possible?

Fantastic read, thank you. This is a type of conversation. I feel is always sorted out in the background, and never brought to the forefront of a story.

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