Canterlot was a beautiful city at night. Ever since you came into Equestria a year ago, you admired the night and its unique view from the castle’s balconies. Sitting back on the chair you had set up, you relaxed, letting the gentle light of the city and the moon calm you as you reflected on how your life ended up to this moment this moment.
You were a student in one of Canterlot’s universities, studying alchemy. You discovered your passion for the subject when you found yourself in the magical land of ponies. In fact, Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns took charge of your education when one of their students miscalculated their spell and summoned you into Equestria.
You never even got to finish your taco lunch.
Since then you have lived in the castle as a guest of Celestia and Luna. They gave you a place to stay while you tended to your studies. It was difficult at first to adjust to the land of marshmallow equines, but after a few months of cultural and historic education, you found your little niche: potions. Since then you have been studying long and hard into the alchemical process and made great strides in the underdeveloped field.
This night however, you took off. It was technically one year anniversary since appearing in some poor student’s laboratory. Sure, Celestia and Luna were going to have a little party for you tomorrow when they had time, but tonight you dedicated it all for you.
You even got the kitchens to make you a steak, and the hired griffon in there to make it rare. Nobody who is worth anything likes a well-done steak.
Your contemplation on why anyone would ruin a steak was broken a soft clopping of hooves that filled the hall behind the balcony you were eating on. You didn’t even have to look back at who it was, only one pony would be up at this time this far into the castle.
The pony spoke, “Good evening my friend, may I join you?”
You smiled and turned around to see the Princess of the Night standing in the entrance to the balcony. “Of course you can Moonbutt, you know you are always welcome to join me for dinner.”
Luna rolled her eyes as she came up beside you and appraised your meal. “No thank you, I have already eaten and I doubt I would enjoy blood on my steamed broccoli.”
“It isn’t blood.” You replied as you cut into the meat. “It is a protein that is developed within the steak. It holds oxygen and a protein called myoglobin. No blood cells as far as I know.”
Luna snorted. “There you are with your fancy human words again. You know I am not into the sciences as thou. The griffons believe it to be blood as well and have a few rituals that fire cleanses it and makes it suitable for consumption.”
Well, she went back to her old speech a little there, that meant she was a little annoyed. Luna has been your friend ever since you came into Equestria. Over the time she helped you adjust to your new settings and you helped her with her speech. You decided to diffuse her before anything else. “Well, quite frankly, the griffons have really fucking stupid rites.”
Luna giggled a little. “Don’t tell that to the ambassador I just left. He’s as thick as an entire mountain, thinking he can break trade deals that were made before his time. How are you?”
You chewed and swallowed a piece of meat. “I’m doing pretty good, Luna. Just enjoying my night. How are you?”
“Tired and annoyed, negotiations bored me and I came up here for some actual intelligence.” She said as she sat down beside you and looked over her city.
You made a show of looking all around the empty balcony. “Sorry to disappoint you Princess, but I don’t see anything intelligent up here.”
A hoof striking your shoulder got you to laugh as you sat back down. “You know what I mean. You are always way more entertaining than those downstairs.”
“Aww, you think I am smart?”
She narrowed her eyes and smiled. “No, I said thou were entertaining.”
“Touché.” Going back to your meal, you probed her a little bit. “So, what can I do for you?”
“Do you miss Earth? I know why you are up here.” Luna asked as she made eye contact with you.
Wow, she went straight for the damn jugular on that one. You thought upon it a lot, especially when you sat up here enjoying the city as one would back home. In fact, the view reminded you so much that looking across the wide expanse of lights you felt a familiarity about it.
Luna noticed you pause and was about to apologize when you looked out towards the city. “Of course I do, Luna, you know that.” You softly replied.
“If it isn’t too much to ask, if we found a way to send you home, would you take it?” Her face was filled with concern.
Despite what ponies believed, it was quite easy to read their emotions. Luna was worried she stepped over a line, but she really did want to know.
“Did you find a way?”
“No, we don’t know how you even got here, still.” Luna responded as she looked away from you.
“No, I wouldn’t take it. It would be a complete waste of time anyways. Plus you are fine asking, it isn’t a touchy subject anymore.” You had a few beers with you that you took up in a small celebration for your anniversary, you opened one and took a decent drink.
“Why would you say that it is a waste? Wouldn’t you want answers?”
Wiping your mouth, you took another bite to take time to consider how you were going to answer. “Well, the most practical reason is time.”
“As in you’ve been here for too long?” Luna inquired.
You placed your hand on your chin, stroking it a little. “Well, for instance, we don’t know if time on Earth flows as time in Equestria. I have been here for one year so far, as of tonight, does that mean that one year has passed on Earth? Maybe ten years have passed. Then again maybe only five minutes have passed and it is completely fine.”
Luna perked up and nodded in understanding. You always found it cute when she did so, she was really passionate about applying concepts to conversations. You’d mistake Luna for being Twilight’s mentor if you didn’t know it was Celestia who looked over the purple pony. “So if I am correct in understanding. You are most concerned if time has passed for too long in your world.”
You placed a hand on her back and gave her a few pats, which she enjoyed. “Yeah that’s pretty much it. Plus, there is only a minute amount of time that I can go back to Earth and an infinite amount of time that would be either impossible or extremely complex.”
Luna tilted her head. “Okay, thou have lost me.”
You tapped your foot. “Okay, so what would happen if somepony went missing for a week here in Equestria, then just popped back into existence?”
“Ah, I see what you mean. They would be interrogated and there would be an investigation into their disappearance.”
“Yes and if I was missing on Earth for a week I would be fired from my job, police would have an investigation and my family would be worried sick. My only answer being ‘Yes officer, I was in another world where two pretty princesses controlled the sun and the moon and everyone did magic!’. It would not go over well at all.”
Luna blushed a little when you called her cute, which she totally was and you liked embarrassing her. “So what would be the ideal amount of time?”
“That is the problem. I would have pretty much only twenty four hours, maybe two days since it was a weekend and I remember I didn’t have to work on Sunday. I could say I was drunk and passed out or was sick. Anything past that and people would have noticed I was missing.”
“Wow, I wonder what ratio that would be.” Luna pondered.
“I thought the same thing too. I also did the calculation, too.” You pulled out a slip of paper from your pocket that had numbers all over it. “I am sure I just multiply three hundred and sixty five days by twenty four hours. Then just divide that by forty eight to get the amount of hours needed on Equestria to pass one hour on Earth. Does that makes sense?”
“Yes, that seems sound. What was the amount that you had arrived at?” Luna inquired.
“As of one hour from now, every hour on Earth that passes would be a little over a hundred and eighty two hours in Equestria. The longer I stay here the smaller the window is to actually get back to Earth on a reasonable time. We would have to hope that of all the speeds that time flows between both worlds, it would have to be extremely slow.”
Luna was utterly flabbergasted. She knew it was a long time that you were away from Earth but nopony had ever considered that time flow would have to be completely different for you to return. “So even if you had a week to get back, we would have to hope that time slowed by a factor of?”
“Fifty two. Our calendars are pretty much the same. One week on Earth would be fifty two weeks here. Again it is a very small window.”
“Plus time could be faster on Earth than it is here.” Luna realized.
You nodded. “Yeah it could be anywhere from five minutes passing to ten thousand years. We have absolutely no clue.”
There was a lingering silence between you two. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but you knew what her next question was. “My family could either already assume I am dead or have been dead for a millenia.”
You could see Luna’s heart drop in her chest as she glanced in your direction with a sad expression. You shook your hand at her. “I had enough time to grieve, Luna. Besides, I have both you and Sunbutt for company. You two are pretty much my family now.”
Luna gave you a sly grin. “I have peered into your dreams. If thou perceive us as family then you have to find some other pony to fantasize over. Incest is not one of our… ‘kinks’ as you would say.”
You laughed and decided to turn the tables. “Oh, so you have been looking into my dreams, have you? Which one did you see? The one where I was using the riding crop and hoof cuffs?”
Luna’s face burned as she looked down. “Well, no, it wasn’t that one, it t’was the one where… well… I have never heard of ‘anal beads’ until thou had used them on my dream-self last night.”
You nodded in recollection and decided to take a chance. “Ah, yeah, that is one of my favourites. Interested? I am quite sure you would enjoy it.”
“Uhh… perhaps some other night would be okay? I am not as you would say ‘in the mood’. Another time.” Luna offered sheepishly as she tried to change the subject. “Now what about if the time difference wasn’t an issue?”
You decided to drop it and enjoy the fact that you probably were gonna get laid sometime with Luna. With butt stuff. “Well, then we would need the correct dimension.”
“Ah yes, Twilight did find another world that had humans but you claim it wasn’t yours.” Luna explained.
“My world doesn’t have humans who have green skin, plus it was an alternate dimension where everyone was another version of a pony”
“Yes, I could see how that would make it hard to find. We only were able to send Twilight there because Sunset passed through it before her, locking the location of the portal.”
“Correct.” You stated as you took another drink. “Also, there is another Twilight there. Although that universe allowed for two Twilights to exist at once socially, my world would not be so accommodating. I could even replace my other self, and that would be some kind of weird form of murder.”
“Actually, technically thou could call it suicide.” Luna pointed out.
You raised an eyebrow. “You know, sometimes I forget that you were an evil scary queen, and then you say things like that.”
“Oh I apologize, it slipped.” Luna started before you raised a hand to prevent a multitude of apologies that would rival Canadian stereotypes.
“It is absolutely fine Luna, in fact, it is one of the things that I enjoy about you. You don’t always play along with Celestia’s harmony bullshit.”
You offered Luna a beer and she surprisingly took it. You didn’t even know that she drinks, you just offered out of kindness. “Well, that settles that issue as well, then.” Luna spoke after drinking half the bottle.
“Yup, out of an infinite time frame we need a precise ratio of hours between two worlds. Out of an infinite amount of universes we have to find the exact same one that I am from.”
A small moment passed as you finished your meal. “Besides, why would I leave? I have a life here now. I would be leaving one for another, at this point I would be considered dead by one group.”
“Well, no, you would have left us. That isn’t dying.”
“The only difference between me dying and leaving Equestria is that you could bury my body if I died.”
Luna hummed in agreement. “What if everything was absolutely perfect and we could establish a connection between both worlds? A permanent portal that allows us to visit and communicate with each other?”
You laughed out loud for almost ten seconds. “Wow, you have no idea the complications that you would bring and the negatives of my world. I am not saying we are super evil and will destroy you Luna, but Jesus Christ, both of our civilizations would be irreversibly changed.”
“Well, I can’t say I expected that enthusiastic response to a ‘no’ since I asked Celestia to send Discord to the sun.” Luna smiled with you. “You seem to be on a roll. Explain.”
“Fuck, where do I start? We have religion and you two little Goddesses are pretty much living embodiments that would destroy the concept that humans are the most sacred life on Earth.”
“Oh, we are not goddesses!” Luna exclaimed to which you gave her a ‘seriously?’ look. ”Okay, maybe some ponies consider us to be.”
“Say, most of the population Moonbutt. We have religious fanatics that would be absolutely hostile to you just because you represent something that they don’t worship. You also have extremely different levels of technology playing here. We have devices that allow any human to talk to any other human with such a device anywhere on the planet. Ponies don’t have anything close to that.”
Luna reflected a little bit. “You mean those ‘cell phones’?”
“Yeah, and those phones are also wirelessly connected to massive libraries filled with all the information that mankind has to offer.”
You didn’t tell Luna or other ponies too much about the technology of Earth. You didn’t want them to develop tech in a strange order or disturb their own development. Just like Star Trek’s rules about Prime Directive. Though to be honest you only saw the Tribbles episode.
“So what does thou do with all that information?” Luna wondered.
“Send each other stupid fucking messages and look at pictures of cats.” You deadpanned.
“Humans are so perplexing.” Luna admitted.
“Well, so are ponies as whole, but you understand me and I understand you. So we aren’t so different, after all. We are just from two different places.”
It was at this point where you realized that Luna had stolen three beers without you looking. You and her both finished your bottles. You had a nice relaxing buzz going on, nothing to make you do stupid shit like back home, but enough to make you feel relaxed. You assumed that the co-ruler of Equestria could hold her booze a little bit too. Equestrian beers were weaker than back on Earth.
“Well, that was a most invigorating of conversations! I seem to have proved thou wrong when I said I came up here for intelligence. I was quite entertained.” Luna spoke as she got up.
“Glad I could help Luna, and happy that I could entertain.” You replied as you also got off your chair to lead her off.
Luna stopped both of you at the entrance to the balcony. “Look, I have enjoyed your time here in Equestria. You have proven to be one the the best friends I have ever had. Even though it was by accident, I am truly happy that destiny and fate hath brought our paths to come together like this.”
“Luna, I might talk about Earth fondly but I am truly happy in Equestria. I am also very happy to be here with you and in your kingdom.” You replied as you scratched behind her ear.
Luna looked down and kicked the floor before looking back up. “Well, if thou wished, would thou care to join me in my chambers to explore anything else thou hast dreamed of?”
“Will you keep the accent up? I like how you say ‘thou’ when it is just us.”
Life in Equestria wasn’t bad at all.