• Member Since 23rd Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen Wednesday

Midnight Mist


I am Midnight

E

Luna and Graeme share one-another's company one night beneath the starlit heavens and by the light of a crescent moon.

A stand-alone dreamy little fluff fic set some time after the events of Dreamscape.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 12 )

Luna correcting Graeme's language, oh the irony. :rainbowlaugh:

A very good extension of Dreamscape. This little one shot could give you a plausible premise for a HiE fic you know. :raritystarry:

3291739
Thanks. You've pretty much got my plan pegged there, to be honest.
Though I do have a couple of other shorts potentially planned, it's leading in that direction.

:twilightsmile:Beautiful just beautiful:raritystarry::raritywink:

Time for more nitpicks/ critique!

The writing is not bad. You describe everything fairly well and nothing is out of place. My issue is the jump that the main fic took to get to this point. Actually something that seemed off about your first one was that it was labeled romance but by the end of the story is was friendshipping with hints at future romance. They were just really close friends.

Now, while they aren't kissing passionately under the moonlight, they are very close talking about each other's beauty. I feel like there is missing information from point A to point B. Like the beginning of the romance tag.

My other issue is that not much happened here. I know the description says "fluff" and... it is. However, it acts like it wants something to happen. You set up this whole plot about the next step in dream control so that he can visit Luna's dreams. Where is that story? That's what I'd be interested in. Maybe we could even get to that romance tag that keeps popping up.

Are you planning to write more in this universe? If so, I feel like this would all be better suited to multiple chapters in the same story rather than new published fics for each update.

3293838
Thank you for the feedback. Certainly, there's a fair bit for me to think about there. I appreciate you taking the time to do this.

I do intend to write more for this series. You're right in that this is a setup for something more, and I will be following through with that. There are also some bits I intend to fill in with something from Luna's perspective, as per suggestions others have made.

I also take your point about the tags. I know the first story, and even this one, contain only a single kiss each and more the allusion of romance than anything explicit. But it was the closest tag to what was needed. I tried to make it clear where their relationship was heading - it's supposed to be romantically set, and the tags would reflect that if I knew how to make them. I suppose what I'm really aiming for is a journey towards romance between the two. I didn't want to fall into the usual trap of it seeming like a switch has been thrown, as people often do. I'm getting the impression here that perhaps I've made the mistake of taking things too far in the other direction.

I'll keep in mind your suggestion regarding amalgamating it all as chapters in a single story. It is something I was putting thought into anyway. But given how brief this is, and the gaping hole between them that I've yet to fill, setting it aside rather than making it a chapter simply felt more natural.

I like the last line as a play on words from nightmare moon saying "the night will last forever" great story.

3536054 I'm glad that didn't go entirely unnoticed. Thank you for reading.

this was nice, and I liked it a lot. I don't know why, but your stories just seem to flow really well for my tastes, and I love that! :twilightsmile:

This is a good bit of happy fluff. I am going to sit here and enjoy basking in it from an imagery standpoint.

I love that ending line

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