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An Intricate Disguise


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Luna takes her job very seriously. When she hears there's a human having difficulty sleeping, she decides to share a bed with him until he feels safe and happy again.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 65 )

This was so emotionally intense. Thank you for such an amazing story!

Hoo boy, was this a rollercoaster of emotions.

That was amazing, dear lord. Needless to say, it felt good to see something legitimate in the sea of jokes today, but this was a step beyond. Loved it!

Luna had her magic.
If she wasn't sure if it was real or not, then why didn't she try to blast out a wall and carry them out?

9541048
And here's the issue with writing things rushed. I should've stipulated in the prose that she can't use magic in dreams outside of the dreamscape. I meant to. I'll fix that shortly, because it's a valid question.

Edit: And fixed with a single sentence. Thanks for pointing this out!

9541051
You probably should also stipulate that she was carrying him physically, rather than with her magic.
Also, have her make attempts to bust down the walls and escape to the outside, rather than just standing there and talking.

Is it possible to continue a little?

That was a good story for you knocking it out so fast. I'd like to see more about Equestria's Burned Man. Scars on his body might be healing (again) but the ones of his mind probably never will even if the language barrier falls. Not easy to deal with that kind of trauma. Cheers to you and good work. Don't let Rarity near him. Marshmallows and fire do not mix well. Tend to be culinary napalm.

Hail Luna!

I liked it, very dramatic and with just the right amount of angst/comfort in it.

Now that was lovely. Well done!

That was one Hell of a trip. Great job. I'd love to see more of these two. Just outstanding.

Ludus #12 · April 1st · · 2 ·

Christ, that was a ride. Can't say much, even

That was one amazing ride, An Intricate Disguise! You may say it was rushed, but I say it was well done for what it is. :rainbowdetermined2:

Coming from someone who has been through much trauma, I needed to read this today. It is very important to stop living in the past if you want to move on with your life I any sort of positive way. Thank you.:pinkiesad2: :heart:

Into the bin it goes.

This was a good story.:twilightsmile:

Any chance we could actually get an expansion on this? Either in another one or two chapter short, or perhaps a story in and of its own? I'd really like to see where this goes.

I don't have much to say other than I would like to see more.

Very good story.

Damn...

This was just... damn good.

Damn.

You should continue this.

sweetness. need more!

Very...refreshing!

What is this brilliance? Great job!

An Intricate Disguise writing a non-explicit story? Best April Fools prank ever!

I'd like more, see it turned into a longer fic with what happens next

You get a hell ya and please continue from me m8👌🏻

Wow. Just... just wow. I'm not sure what else to say.

Despite everyone else saying otherwise, I actually think this is the right place to stop. Leave it open. John will cope with time, and Luna will assist him. That's... that's really all we need to know.

I don't know why you people keep writing Celestia like she's some heartless Joseph Mengele.

Dayum, I have to say, I would gladly read more of this. Great Work!

Damn fine work. Continue or leave as a standalone would be happy with either. Amazing story.

Orrm #33 · April 3rd · · 1 ·

9543036
Bitch throws six young adults with an unstable, undefined magical McGuffin at word-ender, god-type threats on a weekly and, occasionally, daily basis.

That's either a sign of 'I don't give a f*ck' syndrome(other wise known as "Bitterman" syndrome) or senility

Neither one bodes well for any of us.

This was... man. Heart-rending in the best way. I say it could use a *small* epilogue, but... this is fantastic. And that last line of dialogue gives me *such* shivers... Well done!

9543742
Or she's a strategic genius beyond mortal comprehension, considering not the short-term effects but the long-term effects.

Unlikely, but fun to think about.

Orrm #38 · April 3rd · · 1 ·

9544338
If she was a strategic genius then half the show wouldn't exist and the movies would pretty much be zilch.

Then again she could be all-knowing like Nergal Jahad but I doubt it.

9544344
She planned to inprison her sister to lose the elements and 1000 years in the future get new beareres that will. 1 save her sister2 defeat sombra, 3 befreind discord 4 make a new alicorn and if anything went wrong from their birth the world she knew would die? Oh yeah save the weding of a third alicorn that has to be unkown from the public. witch is sorta related to one of the bearers

Kobla #40 · April 3rd · · 1 ·

9543742

You can't apply strict realism to a world that was built for light-hearted adventure stories for children.

Or, I guess you can, but I don't really see the point.

Orrm #41 · April 3rd · · 1 ·

9544650
It was a discussion and I raised a simple point.
Also you think this is strict? Compared to that time I listed off and diagnosed every one of the main cast this is fairly mild, trust me.


Also here we are on a site that takes these 'heartfelt' storylines and turns it on its ass. Not so light hearted anymore is it?

9544541
Or the Elements are context-sensitive depending on who uses them, or who they're used against. Seems a bit silly to be making claims about MacGuffins in regards to a children's show, to me, but then again, there's no way FimFic would have this many stories if their progenitor didn't leave fertile ground for creativity and interpretation.

Edit: Also, this particular story is great and I'd love to see it continued if the author feels like it.

Wow. That was . . . Intense would be the best way to put it. Sad, but with a resolution. It wasn't a happy one, but it was a good one. Well done!

Emtu #44 · April 4th · · ·

That was good. I for one would be happy to see a slice-of-life-ish spinoff, something in a similar vein to YHaY.

When you stop taking anti depressants you write stories reminiscent of Inception?

9546259
Maybe? I've not seen it, despite having had it mentioned to me a million times.

This was moving.

I'm left thinking, however, that the simplest interpretation here is that it was not a dream. Rather, he was somehow half in Equestria and half on Earth, and Luna pulled him out of a real burning building to bring him into Equestria, leaving his family to die. This is why he was burning in Equestria. Not some freak reaction to magic, but simply that his body was still partially on Earth, and as soon as he was pulled fully into Equestria, it stopped because he was no longer exposed to the flames. This is also why it seemed so real to Luna, and why her dream magic didn't work. It wasn't a dream.

His attachment to his former home kept him from fully transitioning over. But as soon as he let go...he left Earth behind, and all its torments with it.

:pinkiegasp: Man, I was not prepared for those feels. Bravo Intricate, bravo. I'd love to see an epilogue. Maybe a short time skip showing how John is doing.

A very moving story. Definitely one of the best in a long time that gets ya right in the feels.

Well... That's very powerful writing,to the point that it's upsetting to read. I'm not sure that it would be accurate to say that I enjoyed it, although I certainly added it to my favourites. It could use a bit of editing, but that's a very minor concern.

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