• Member Since 9th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 2nd, 2020



The monster came from the Everfree, walking on two legs and using those horrible fingers to dominate the minds of everypony that stands in its way.

Just a silly stupid thing that I thought up and decided to share.
I am seriously amazed by the response I've gotten. Thank you all for giving it much more positive attention than it deserves. :twilightsheepish:

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 186 )

wow, that was hilarious!

. 3 .
stupid sexy dracula

All creatures with fingers thus ruled the world.

Where was Lyra during all of this?

Was a nice little read. :twilightsmile:

There is even talk of him leaving and returning with even more of his kind.

*Smiles* I know just the mare I want to 'conquer'. :trollestia:


hmm... I knew I was forgetting something

she was the narrator :twilightsheepish:

Liked and faved.
5197042 Oooooh, I want to do some 'conquering'!

You gotta give it to the guy, he's quite...handy.



This is pretty scary! All the ponies aspirations are simply forgotten, imperfect in self-control they are taken advantage of. I think this applies to humans as well. Can they say they are happy in that state? Only in that state.

kekekekekek ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I saw a comment in this fix that was pretty much exactly this idea. It's fantastic.

5197994 Goodnight everybody!

I demand a sequel wherein Maud Pie defeats the insidious Vlad. He is not made of rocks. HE IS OF NO INTEREST TO HER!

I like the idea, but I can't see it,
send me as much as you have and I'll clean it up, flesh it out, and publish it with credit to you


this is just too funny XD!!! who need magic when you have hands?

Very lighthearted and put and absolute joyful smile on my face, thank you for the read.

There are very few things that make me stop and say, "This is so stupid, I love it." This story is one of them.

This has made me hate my own species.

I'm...I don't even know anymore.

Really good quick read! I smiled through almost the whole story.

That is how humans 'conquer' Equestria. We pet all the ponies!

We all know this is pretty much how it would happen. :raritywink:

That is exactly how it would happen and he conquered all of Equestria in one day :3


"Lyra! Are you writing another one of those weird stories again?"


"L-Y-R-A~ What have I told you about writing those stories?"

"That there is no way a creature with those amazing, miraculous, dexterous, insidious..."


"...hands could ever take over Equestria with petting. Though I do seem to remember Spike almost brainwashed Applejack with that backrub he gave her last week."

"She got weak kneed, that's not the same as brainwashed."

"Then why did Twilight order him never to give backrubs ever again?"

"Because she didn't want him competing with the Spa twins, there's a good reason they run the only spa in town."

*Knock! Knock!*

"I'l go see who it is, but don't think for a moment that this conversation is over."

As Bon-Bon left the room a thoughtful look came over Lyra's face as she pulled out a hidden manuscript. 'Maybe I should wait till later to tell her about that publishing deal.'


'Unless that was Derpy delivering the first book from the publisher. Well, no time like now to test that escape ladder!'

{Sorry, couldn't help myself :trollestia: }

5197042 Would it be fine if I tagged along and took her roommate then pal? :)

5197017 yeah! I was looking forward to Lyra as Renfield

lol I'd love that scenario, honestly. XD That's just so perfect. XD

Here's a thought. What if someone was brought to a version of Equestria where their touch had similar, though not QUITE as drastic effects(not enough to make them be unable to think when not under such ministrations), but said human didn't want to rule Equestria with it, having only wanted to live in peace instead of the evils of his home world?

Well, now I am here wondering if it would be possible to make a good sequel out of this. Bravo, sir!

This is a touching story, in a classic horror parody / possibly suggestive sort of way.

This was funny! A quick question, out of curiosity.
Is this human based on any Vlad in particular? Say...one with the surname Taltos?

I love it! Though just what was spike going to do at the carousel boutique I wonder?:rainbowderp:


Basically, part self insert, part family joke, and part 'that just fits so perfectly'

5201318 oh, I don't know. Maybe to try out the techniques used by the human on a certain marshmallow pony maybe?

5197245 And here I was just thinking she sounded more like Bon Bon from Flash Fog...

Aha! Well, either way, well done! :twilightsmile:


haven't read it, but put it in my read later pile


that would be awesome! feel free to rip off this story to write that (just let me know when you do so I can read it)


oh, no, Spike would never take advantage of Rarity like that! I can't believe you'd accuse him of doing something like that! :moustache:

I'd love an extra bit with the story of Spike conquering Rarity.

Sufficed to say, well done!

Vlad would be a reference to the Vampiric habit of victim-seduction I'm assuming :rainbowlaugh:

5201033 Sure. *Ignores that my headcanon differs from the fanon and they aren't roommates*

5201509 take advantage? Highly unlikely.:ajbemused:

'Innocently' improve their relationship through strategic manipulations and applications of newly acquired, and quite possibly disputable, massage techniques hopefully to be practiced under the guise of skinship?


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