• Member Since 9th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 2nd, 2020



Human snacks have been part of our culture since the the portal to Earth opened. Popularized over the last 5 years by music and mass media, these human creations invade all aspects of society.
An estimated 208 thousand ponies internationally consume illegal snacks. In Equestria, results from the 1020 Holistic Oral Repast Section of Equine Fertile Engestable(sp) Equestrian Department showed that 19.9 thousand Equestrians (or 8% of the population aged 12 or older) used illegal snacks in the moon prior to the survey.

Vignette Contributions Credit Goes to:

Honorable Mention Goes to:
http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Techogre - For Contributing ideas

This is almost canon to Memverse

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 29 )

This is comedy Gold! Reading this gave me a good laugh! I liked the snickers chapter the most.

glad you liked it
let us know if there's any snacks you'd like to see here and we'll see what we can do

Damn Snickers, they get your brain.

Wait, is she a Thestral or a unicorn? Since she has a horn and Thestral wings.

... Sadly, I think the method shown in the dramatisation would work just fine.

Poor Chryssie. But at least she got a date with Celestia.

Yeah, this seems about right.


So if sugar has that much of an impact, what does salted snacks do to a pony? The equivalent of alcohol? If they do have an effect then I would suggest salt and vinegar chips and cracked pistachios. Simply because the street name for pistachios can be crack.

Oh, salted chocolate covered potato chips. Yes, this is an actual thing that exists. What would be the impact on ponies?

And lets not forget, girl scout cookies. An entire global organization of militarized little girls peddling their samosas and thin mints onto an unprepared Equestria. It'll be a massacre. You'll have 11 year olds living like Columbia drug lords, compromised security officers (please daddy, let me sell to the pretty ponies), cookie kingpins controlling vast smuggling networks in both Earth and Equestria. The Princesses would be powerless to stop these monsters. The horror, the horror!

yes, salt effects ponies like alcohol

hmmm..... girl scout dealers.... will need to ponder that

Yes, she's a thestral with a unicorn horn, but she's only a side character right now in Into the Rift Not really sure how much exposure she'll get, as she's about as important as Doctor Emerald is in the original Memoirs of a Reality Jumper, but she'll almost certainly get some more time in these more silly stories.

Lunas addiction to chocolate covered peanuts and a curiously named moon pies?
And a reciprocal Celsetias addiction to starburst, and Twinkies?

oh no, Celestia won't touch human snack foods; there is a reason why... Equestria has banned them.
Human cake causes ponies to gain weight and she doesn't want... her ponies to get fat flanks.

7587163 well its a Illicit addiction, and its not like heads of state don't bend the rules for themselves. How many presidents do you think may have had a box of cuben cigars stashed somewhere. Or something else thats innocuous and banned .

Just once I want to read about a pony trying a bag of Pop Rocks. Or the CMC getting their hooves on some Mentos.

I think you miss the implications of how she'd realize that human cake makes "ponies" fat

7588771 ahh so its a plot device...gotcha:pinkiehappy:

and a addiction still is a addiction. You could have the sister's complaining about why they had to stop

Celestia: "Don't you dare call me- oh... that plot..."

ponies and pop rocks.....
maybe the flower trio?

Sure but not Maud Pie. She might think somepony is eating a relative of her sweet little Boulder.:rainbowderp: May Celestia have mercy on their souls if that happens.

Oh, I just had a bad thought. Flutter ponies and pixie sticks and/or Zecora with zebra cakes. :scootangel:

Need to see Pinkie eating dip sticks.


Nono... Pinkie with Pixie Stix.:twilightoops:

This story is a thing of brilliance, and I am delighted that I came across it. I especially liked the line, "it had salt, not kid-friendly alcohol". :rainbowlaugh:

well, in a world where alcohol has virtually no effect, but salt gets you drunk, seems like a perfectly reasonable statement :twilightsmile:

glad you liked it


I wonder what rainbow dash would think about skittles :rainbowhuh:

The guards nodded a greeting to her as she awkwardly walked past. “Have a nice trip back, Human McHumanface.”


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