When Fluttershy received her certification as a fog specialist, she only wanted a plausible excuse to write off the expenses associated with her ground-based house on her taxes. However, when an accident in Cloudsdale sends a blanket of industrial-grade clouds rolling towards Ponyville, Fluttershy suddenly finds herself in charge of coordinating the response, mostly because she's the only fog specialist in the area. Can our heroine step up to the challenge at hoof, or will she risk facing the wrath of the Equestrian Revenue Service?
Artwork by Page Turner. Now with a TVTropes page!
More Kwakerjak story!
This is quite possibly the most insanely brilliant exploration of equestrian heavy industry I have seen. And it's only just started...
Working in a factory that makes what is essentially pegasus bricks can be quite dangerous if those bricks are stored in tanks that can overfill and explode. Those poor ponies.
Ohh, no emergency venting system huh? It'd be a mess either way, but so much for that factory's equipment...
Naughty Fluttershy, prepare to be audited.
You know, I think you should have held off with posting the story until you had enough of it the description doesn't count as spoilers. On its own, right now this story contains a not really the most exciting description of an industrial accident and there isn't even a shadow of a hint what impact does it have on anything.
I like it. Moar soon plz.
I like posting my prologues alongside the first chapter, but wtfever, right?
This is great, and I can't wait to see where it's going.
"was under a best-case scenario"
This line threw me, though. Maybe it's just me, but I feel like "was less than" would read better.
I'll add you to my ever growing stack of "read laters"
I have a question, because I seem to be missing something:
If the clouds are denser, thus have less volume if we assume the same mass or at least the same production rate mass/time, how can they fill the tanks faster?
Looking forward to more! (As per usual for your stories.) Well-written, interesting dialogue, intriguing premise, need I go on?
I kind of agree with Ottermatt in that the phrase in question struck me as odd. I'm guessing it was meant to portray a sense that "boring is wonderful when compared to catastrophe", but it just stood out to me. *shrug*
In any case, please keep writing, I'll keep reading!
Quite an interesting concept. I look forwards to its development.
Nice work. The behavior of the OCs seems very natural, and you are clearly taking your time to flesh things out as you go which is always nice so I am looking forwards to seeing where this goes.
1298092 - The idea I had is because they're denser, they're less compressible, causing pressure inside the tanks to build up faster. Thus, if the clouds are allowed to enter the holding tanks at the same rate as normal clouds (thinking in terms of volume over time, rather than mass over time), there's much less time for the technician to correct problems. This might not line up with real-world physics/meteorology, but on the other hand, these clouds have been imbued with seriously powerful pegasus magic, so one can't expect them to behave normally.
Wouldn't the expanding clouds cause the factory turn in to a massive frag grenade
by way of pegasi shooting out in every direction like shrapnel and the clouds being the explosive
1298193 - Actually, it was meant to imply that Flywheel's job wasn't just boring; it was also stressful, thanks to the mandatory overtime and the shift change.
1298048 I know how that feels, I think mine is up to two hundred
1298572 woah, mines like 5.
I like the back story so far, can't wait to see Flutters being in charge of something.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Fluttershy.png
1298587
10515, here. Free time? What is this "Free Time" of which you speak? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Twilight_crazy.png
And suddenly FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOG!
1298519
Oopsie, there I go and forget all about the pegasus magic again.
I guess I can live with this explain, as long as this story proceeds as well as all your others.
Wow, this is really interesting. The description alone makes it sound like an actual episode, but this goes into far more detail and complexity. Exxxxcellent.
1298726 SWEET JESUS
Damn, that would suck to be those two...shit, I'm enjoying this story, I like it, I'll be watching for more and I'm hoping to see how this affects Fluttershy.
Poor ponies.
I've long thought that if fog rolled in, pegasi would all be trapped in their houses and unable to help clear it away, since clouds are solid to them. Or at best they could slowly bash their way through it. I was even thinking of making a comic a while back with that as the joke, but never got around to it, so I'm curious to see if that's anything like what you're going to do.
1298726 Starcat... 10515 on the read later?
I think this calls for an intervention.
You have a problem, good sir or madam.
Either get rid of the majority of those stories,
Or master your time management so that you can actually read more than you add at a time.
Like I said to another story: I'd reccomend finishing at least the first chapter before posting your story, so readers have both the prolouge and the first chapter. Prolouges are like teasers, I believe. I may be unfair, and I apologise if I am doing so. Either way, I have put this story into my"read later".
1298726
Wow. I've only just reached 300 myself.
Teach me all your secrets.
Okay, this actually sounds really interesting. I can't wait to see how this plays out.
I would assume that seeing as it would likely involve a rigorous test to become a specialist for fog control, Flutters would have the skill necessary to deal with it. Leading a group of ponies to do so on the other hand...
What Flutters needs is for FlutterCruel to come out and take the reigns, and smash that fog to bits!
1299766
Technically, they're under favorites, but since I've been here for a year and a half or more (That answer your question, 1299970 ?), my original tracking list had been unceremoniously dumped into my Favorites list. At this point, it just seems easier to just keep using the Star for tracking, and just Un-Staring anything that sucks.
As for the fog... burn it. Burn it all.
Hmm, is it just me or have there been quite a few "Pony has to do something do to government/ legal loophole" stories lately... then again it is an election year.
Oh well, still a fun read.
Aaaaaand tracked.
Gonna put this on my watch list atm till another chapter or two comes out, all I know so far is the synopsis makes this sound kinda hilarious. : )
"
Flywheel stifled a yawn as she stared at the myriad gauges in front of her. Hers was not the most glamorous job around, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t important (according to her supervisor, anyway). "
You have me. Right. Here.
I am HOOKED. I am now obligated to read the rest of this prologue. Kudos to you, brony.
POOF!!!
1299147
Well, they're kind of selectively solid.
[youtube=B2gY-beXfd8]
I'm as (or more) guilty of this as the next Ponyficcer, but I see a lot of emphasis in this community on the airshippy steampunky aspects of the universe, quasi-old-timey science and magic used to mimic modern or near-future technology. This is both fine and understandable, but it's nice from time to time to see a story that does some expansion on the admittedly bizarre and surreal "drivers of natural processes" role that this species plays in the canon, which is to say, quasi-old-timey science and magic used to mimic stuff that nature usually takes care of by itself. Thanks for sharing, looking forward to seeing how this goes.
Liking it so far, and quite interested to see where it goes!
Promising
The weather industry is one of my favourite things in My Little Pony, so I'm definitely following this! It'll be fun to see Fluttershy doing pegasus stuff for once.
ERS! o crap....and i thought the IRS was bad enough!
1298092
The tanks are compressed I assume. Denser clouds wouldn't be able to be compressed as much. (Ignoring the whole compressing water thing)
im really looking forward to seeing this.
really great intro
you have a very capturing writing style
I'm not much of a literary person so I can't really offer you any constructive critisism on your writing because to me it looks pristine and totally flawless.
However I have worked as a industrial operator and to me these scenes feel both plausable and familiar. Well done! I'm hooked, again!
I'd like to ad 1 tidbit as to why this feels so familiar to me aswell:
The relation between the Operator and the janitor in the factory reminds me of the relationship common between maintenance crew and production crew in many factories. While the production is halted due to problems the maintenance crew is kneedeep in shit working to fix whats disrupting production. In such cases production workers (who at this point will be rolling their thumbs (if they have any)) will sometimes be reassigned to help out maintenance to fix shit faster. But when production is going flawlessly maintenance finally gets a break, but then the production workers will be sweating cuz production is going 100%. It's like when 1 unit gets a breather the other is sweatin'. so while your grateful to get a break you also feel guilty for enyoying your slack because the other units bustin balls. And that guilttrip can make the 2 units reach out and help each other in ways that is alien to most other workplaces.
I've been there and I've been offered a cup o joe by a friendly maintenance guy just like that. It just feels so frigging real it's scary.
PS That paranthesis about if the workers have thumbs isn't only a pony linguo reference, I worked at a sawmill so I heard a tale or two about missing digits. Seen one too. not that I'd wanna get into details. t'was nasty shit.
Interesting. But Los Pegasus, I think, was supposed to parody Los Angeles. Hence the name, Angels, Pegasi. Anyway.
1302825 No shit sherlock? :P That has been used in countless fics be4.
Well, I'm being an ass here.
Change of tune: Welcome to the the glory of fimfiction. Hope you enyoy your stay. I have.