August 31 – 11:54 AM
Rainbow Dash had been staring at the library’s door for five minutes now. Fluttershy was on the other side; she knew this to be true, because she could hear the muffled voice of the part-time fog specialist discussing... something with Twilight Sparkle. Probably the fog, she reasoned. You really should go in there and join them. The pegasus growled softly to nopony in particular. Sometimes, her conscience’s persistence could be really obnoxious. Deciding that the best course of action was to get the awkwardness over with and forego knocking, she swiftly opened the door.
“Eek!”
Twilight Sparkle sighed as she stared at the yellow pegasus who had once again grabbed one of the rafters in her ceiling. “Why does everypony have to barge in today?” she asked rhetorically. “You can come down, Fluttershy. It’s just Rainbow Dash.”
“It is? Oh, um, that’s good.” The fog specialist landed back on the library floor in front of the new arrival. “You... you didn’t run into any problems spreading the news, did you?”
Rainbow Dash nervously ran a hoof through her mane. “Not exactly...”
“That’s good to hear. I was starting to get a little bit worried. Anyway, the Department of Weather should be sending somepony in a few hours to hear my plan. And, well, I’d like your help coming up with one. Ideally, I’d want Pinkie Pie to be here for this, too, but she has some personal business to take care of, so it might be an hour or so before she gets back. Twilight’s been handling the more complex mathematics for me, so I don’t think we’ll need to worry too much about that.” Rainbow Dash glanced behind Fluttershy and saw that the librarian had strolled over to a collection of chalkboards covered in equations and data and was now consulting a slide rule.
Rainbow Dash was sorely tempted to simply jump right back into doing her job, but she had some personal business of her own that needed to be handled. “Hey, um, Fluttershy? Before we get started, I kind of need to talk to you. Uh, in private.”
“Hmm? Oh, of course. Is there a place we can go, Twilight?”
“Try the kitchen,” Twilight said, not bothering to look away from her calculations. “Spike’s helping Rarity with your cravat, so it should be empty.”
The two pegasi quickly entered the kitchen, which, as its tenant suspected, was unoccupied. “Okay, Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy said as she shut the door behind her. “What did you want to talk about?”
The blue pegasus sighed. Here we go.... “It’s about what happened this morning.”
“Huh? Oh, that’s not really all that important.”
“Actually, it is. When you sent me out to tell all the other pegasi about the fog, I just felt like you didn’t fully appreciate my talent.”
“Oh, um, well, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
What the— Why is she apologizing? This was definitely not the way that this conversation was supposed to go. “No, you don’t understand. You don’t have anything to be sorry for, Fluttershy. I’m the one who overreacted.”
The yellow pegasus, however, looked a bit worried. “Are you sure about that?”
Rainbow Dash wasn’t really sure what that was supposed to mean, but she knew that her conscience would never shut up if this conversation kept getting sidetracked like this. “Look,” she finally managed to blurt out, “I... I’m sorry I snapped at you like that.” There, that wasn’t so bad, was it? And now for the second part... “And I’m sorry for not getting back to you when I was finished. I... I guess I just let my pride get the best of me, you know?”
Fluttershy smiled and hugged her friend. “It’s okay... we all make mistakes.” Though yours was nothing compared to mine, she didn’t add. “If it’s any consolation, I probably would have sent you, if I had thought of it.”
Rainbow Dash seemed rather confused by this revelation. “But why wouldn’t you have thought of me when you came up with the idea?”
“Oh, no, that’s not what I meant. I meant that it wasn’t even my idea in the first place. Pinkie Pie was the one who thought of it.”
“You... took an idea from Pinkie Pie?!”
“Well, she wanted to help, but I couldn’t think of anything for her to do.”
“So, when you said that she volunteered, you meant that she just volunteered to help in general? Are you saying that before that, you never even considered having somepony look at the fog bank to verify that the report the desk jockeys gave you was accurate?”
“Um... yes. I mean, I guess it worked out okay in the end. If you had gone, we’d never have been able to learn that the fog is dangerous to earth ponies and unicorns.”
This, apparently, was the last thing that Rainbow Dash expected to hear, if her gaping mouth was any indication. “What?! But... how could... huh?!”
“It’s not just really thick. It’s also cold and wet, and Pinkie started showing symptoms of hypothermia.”
The word sounded vaguely familiar to the blue pegasus, but she couldn’t quite figure out where she’d heard it. “Uh, what’s that again?”
“It’s, um, when your temperature gets too low. I usually have to take care of some animals that get it during the winter. In its worst stages, it causes extremely violent shivering, a loss of feeling in the extremities, and interferes with your ability to think straight. It’s... well, it’s not a very pleasant way to, um, go.”
Hearing that list of symptoms suddenly reminded Rainbow Dash of precisely where she’d heard the term before: Daring Do and the Secret of Shetlan-Da. The plucky unicorn colt who’d been serving as Daring’s guide through the Himalneighan Mountains had come down with those symptoms right before they reached the ancient temple. Rainbow Dash had been sure that he’d be okay, because he was a totally cool little guy, and there was no way the author would really let anything bad happen, right?
It was the first time Rainbow Dash had cried over the fate of somepony who didn’t exist.
And now, real ponies were in danger from the exact same thing. It was official: sulking on that cloud for two hours had secured a spot as one of the flat-out stupidest things she had ever done. “Come on, we need to start making a plan.”
August 31 – 12:01 PM
“Come on, we need to start making a plan.” After briefly splitting up to retrieve their official Cutie Mark Crusading Capes™ from their homes, the Cutie Mark Crusaders had returned to their clubhouse and were now poring over the surprisingly detailed map that Sweetie Belle had picked up at the Ponyville Visitor’s Center, which depicted the town and the area immediately surrounding it (with special attention paid to those places where tourists and other consumers could spend their hard-earned bits). The fillies, however, did not have time to support the local economy, as there were national security issues which were far more pressing.
“We should put the traps here,” the unicorn filly continued, tapping an empty field north of town.
“Why there?” Scootaloo asked.
“The humans are using the fog as cover for their invasion, right? And you said that your parents were talking about the fog coming in from the mountains.”
“Uh, yeah, I guess.”
“Well, the mountains are to the north, so if we put the traps there, the humans will walk right into them.”
“Ya sure ’bout that?” Apple Bloom drawled. “That’s an awfully big area. They might miss the traps altogether.”
“Okay, so where do you think we should build them?”
“Why not here?”
“Huh?” Scootaloo responded. “Why would we set up traps inside the clubhouse?”
Apple Bloom sighed. “Not ‘here’ as in the clubhouse. I’m talkin’ about this orchard!”
The pegasus, however, didn’t quite see the logic in this statement. “What makes you so sure that they’ll come here?”
“Well, this s’posed ta be the start of somethin’ big, right?”
“Yeah...”
“Well, then I’d say the first thing they’re gonna do is try to get some food ta feed the rest of the human army.”
“But Bon-Bon said that they were supposed to be psycho omnivores,” Sweetie Belle pointed out. “You know, horrible monsters who eat other animals even though they don’t have to? What’s going to stop them from snagging somepony’s pet? Or... or maybe even a pony!”
The earth pony swallowed hard as she considered this possibility. “Er, well, nuthin’, I guess. But ain’t they supposed to be crazy smart, too? Why would they waste time chasin’ an animal when they could get an apple that won’t run away?”
“That’s a really good point, actually,” Scootaloo said. “Plus, it’ll be easier to hide our traps in all these trees.”
“Wouldn’t the fog hide them anyway?” Sweetie Belle asked, clearly unhappy that her own idea was being shot down.
“Actually, I was talking about hiding our traps from other ponies,” Scootaloo said. “I, uh, don’t think they’ll react very well to them.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Well, I kind of mentioned the humans to my dad, and he says that if I don’t forget that nonsense, I’m not allowed to go to Bon-Bon’s anymore.”
“Really?” Apple Bloom asked. That seemed like an awfully extreme reaction for wanting to protect your hometown from invaders. “Why’d ya even mention that ya heard it from her in the first place?”
“That’s just it: I didn’t. He just guessed that we’d heard it from her right off the bat. Something tells me that the other grownups don’t take her very seriously.”
“But still, why would that be a reason to keep you from going to Bon-Bon’s?” Sweetie Belle asked. “I mean, we just asked her a question, and she answered it. Miss Cheerilee says foals our age are supposed to be inquisitive.”
“What’s ‘inquisitive’ mean?”
“You’d know if you’d done your—”
“Anyway,” Scootaloo interjected, narrowly avoiding another lecture about the importance of That-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named, “I don’t think it was just that I was interested in humans. Um, you see, I kinda asked for his opinion on the human trap I designed.”
“You managed ta design a human trap before gettin’ here?” Apple Bloom asked.
Scootaloo grinned as she unfolded a large piece of white construction paper filled with an elaborate, if somewhat crudely drawn, pencil sketch. “Well? What do you think?”
It took her friends several minutes to fully process the plans laid out before them. Eventually, Sweetie Belle broke the silence. “Um, it looks really... uh...”
“Complicated,” Apple Bloom finished for her friend.
“Thanks,” Scootaloo said with a broad smile. “I was worried that I hadn’t done enough thinking about it.”
“Uh, I don’t think there was any danger of that,” Sweetie Belle said. “Are we supposed to get all of these things?”
“Well, yeah. Why? Is that going to be a problem?”
“It might be,” Apple Bloom answered. “I mean, how the hay are we gonna get a water tower out here?”
“Oh, you can ignore that part. I didn’t know we’d be building this at Sweet Apple Acres.”
“Does this part really need to use one of those mirror disco balls?” asked Sweetie Belle.
“Higher visibility,” the pegasus replied confidently.
Apple Bloom nodded, clearly seeing the wisdom in this decision. “So, how much bubble-wrap do ya reckon we’re gonna need, anyway?”
“Eh, as much as we can find, probably. And you don’t need to worry about the thingamabob. My mom taught me how to make them a long time ago. They’re a snap.”
“Thingamabob? There’s a thingamabob on here?” the earth pony asked as she scanned the plans.
“Yeah, it’s right there,” Scootaloo answered, pointing to a creased section with her hoof.
“I wouldn’t exactly call that a thingamabob myself,” Apple Bloom said after reexamining the picture. “Looks more like a whatchamacallit to me, or maybe a doodad. Maybe if I’m bein’ generous, I’d call it a thingamajig, but not a thingamabob.”
“My mother called it a thingamabob, so that means it’s a thingamabob. Or are you calling my mom a liar?”
Sweetie Belle, meanwhile, wasn’t really interested in listening to such riveting semantic debates. “Wouldn’t it be easier to just dig a pit and cover it with branches?”
“Uh, I guess... but that is nowhere near as cool as my idea. Besides, anypony can dig a pit, so how is that supposed to help us get us our cutie marks?”
“She’s got a point,” Apple Bloom said.
“No, she doesn’t,” Sweetie Belle replied. “There’s no way we’ll be able to build more than one of these before the fog gets here.”
“We only need to trap one human,” Scootaloo said. “Then we can pump it for more information. Then we send a letter to Celestia to warn her about their evil plans, and presto! We’re heroes!”
“Besides,” Apple Bloom added, “what wouldja rather be doin’ for the next day or so? Diggin’ pits? Or puttin’ together this awesome trap?”
Sweetie Belle sighed. “Digging pits does sound pretty boring, I guess.”
“Great!” Scootaloo shouted with obvious glee. “Then let’s get cracking!”
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I'm guessing that the CMC are gonna throw a wrench into things in the worse possible way.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders' plan is going to end really well, isn't it?
I'm loving this story.
I foresee shenanigans of the highest caliber.
Super well done job with Rainbow Dash.... you've defnintly put some time and thought into her character, and it really shows. Your humor is nice too, and while the chapters shortness might be hindering the story a little bit, it definitly keeps everyone interested.
Aaand the CMC score a new low on the "attempt to trap extra-dimensional creatures who aren't even involved in this, then pump them for info" scale...!
*snerk*
1943119 - As I've explained before, I'm deliberately keeping the chapters short so that the whole story paces well when it's complete.
Ahh, nice to see Dash get her head on straight. The detail about her crying over a guy in the Daring Do books is a great touch.
Well, strange as it seems things are actually looking up now that we know what the CMC are trying to build.
They will only be making one trap which seriously limits the amount of damage they can do to the weather team, and knowing Pencil's luck there are very good odds it will not take out a critical team member. The only real concern is Flutters dropping everything to try to help him, but he might be able to defeat that by playing the tough guy and telling her to take care of the fog.
Applejack will start trying to harvest apples before the fog kills them, and she will fall in the pit. Calling it now.
I'm putting my money on they succede.
I do like Rainbow's character development here. She has every reason to be resentful towards Fluttershy, really, but she's taking it like an adult and doing her best to help. And getting all teary-eyed over a Daring Do character, that's just so sweet.
Calling it now: Pencil Pusher will be the one to get stuck in the CMC's Rube Goldberg trap.
I forsee that either the CMC are going to get trapped in the fog, or somepony else is, and they're going to have to send a rescue party in to rescue them before they die of hypothermia...
Then again, my mind is hardwired to 'dark', so...
Dear Princess Celestia, today the Cutie Mark Crusaders learned the importance of being lazy. After all, if a pony were made to dig multiple pit traps, they would have been born Diamond Dogs.
If the crusaders all die in the fog, I'm nominating the fog for a Nobel Peace Prize for eliminating terrorism in ponyvile.
Prediction: The CMC catch a human! Bon-Bon was right! This fic jumps the shark!
1943107
Yeah. Just like with sending Pinkie Pie to measure the speed and thickness of the fog, there is no way anything can go wrong.
PS: Oh, and yeah, I have to echo other commenter here: you've done well with Rainbow Dash's character.
community.spiceworks.com/attachments/post/0010/0357/implied-facepalm.jpg again for the CMC
Oh, god. the CMCs are the last thing Fluttershy needs right now. At least the high visibility trap won the debate, but still... the thingamabob?
I'd happily allow myself to be pumped for information by the CMC, I have a feeling it would be rather adorable to see them trying to be tough will interrogating me... my plans for world domination through hugs would unfortunately be revealed though.
I can only tink of two possible routes for the CMC shenanigans. One, they catch somepony essential and chaos ensues. Two, they catch somepony non-essential and hilarity ensues.
Wait no...three, they catch themselves and all the parents panic.
If I somehow ever got myself caught by the CMC, I'd probably let them press me for information, if only to humor them and for myself to get the chance to enjoy just how adorably they'd probably go about doing it.
Anyway, Fluttershy might just get through this all right after all...assuming the CMC doesn't mess things up for her.
shetlan-da
this is the greatest thing ever!
Im liking Scoots with living parents
Great, so on top of the pony-killing hypothermia fog, the CMC's are fixing to booby-trap the entire Ponyville countryside. Things are sort of escalating.
Nice chapter.
I wonder who they'll actually catch
Looking forward to more
1951550 Indeed
I really like you you made me not hate Dash in this; something I assure you is very difficult to pull off. And poor guide...
I've that happen to me before. Crying over fictional characters, not dying of hypothermia.
1944495 The humans brought sharks?
Ponyville is doomed.
1951550
Cutie Mark Crusader Patent Officials! YAY!
I'm really enjoying this story all around. You've managed to keep everyone in character and tell a story that both feels like it's part of the show and is also to big to be done on the show. In short you've struck a good balance across the board with the story which makes it ever better!
Also, Pencil Pusher has turned out to be a good OC all around, I'm kind of hoping he manages to stumble his way into a date with Fluttershy (because how else would it happen) and they hit it off. :)
You trademarked the crusaders capes. I don't know whether that is genius or incredibly pretentious. Also, "It was the first time Rainbow Dash had cried over the fate of somepony who didn’t exist." Welcome to the wonderful world of reading Rainbow.
1959837 - I'd like to think that it's both, actually.
This story™ is amazing.
Good for going with the complex trap.
Digging is hard! You ever tried to dig a hole that big?
Why can i see this in the Headlines after the fog is over.
R.I.P Cutie Mark Crusaders. They died trying to get their cutie marks when the fog came rolling in. And in the end they were still Blank Flanks
I find it so amusing that Bon-Bon is the human-crazed mare in a story, for once.
–Rainbow Dash had been sure that he’d be okay, because he was a totally cool little guy, and there was no way the author would really let anything bad happen, right?
It was the first time Rainbow Dash had cried over the fate of somepony who didn’t exist.
Wow... Just... wow. This was quite the line. Kudos, sir.
–After briefly splitting up to retrieve their official Cutie Mark Crusading Capes™ from their homes, [...]
Ha!
–“I wouldn’t exactly call that a thingamabob myself,” Apple Bloom said after reexamining the picture. “Looks more like a whatchamacallit to me, or maybe a doodad. Maybe if I’m bein’ generous, I’d call it a thingamajig, but not a thingamabob.”
And this has got to be my favorite line of the enitre story so far. The way the subject is taken so seriously is incredibly funny. Thingabobs, thingamajigs, whatchamacallits, and doodads are now canon items in Equestria.
1968024
I was going to make a comment... but yours made it 100% redundant.
Pretty much what they said, but with one more thing. The thingamabobs and whoosawatsits part made me think of The Little Mermaid.
1967632
Apparently not THAT hard for ponies, given "Hearts and Hooves Day".
1969558 ...yep, I'd somehow forgotten that.
“But Bon-Bon said that they were supposed to be psycho omnivores,” Sweetie Belle pointed out. “You know, horrible monsters who eat other animals even though they don’t have to?
Wrong. Omnivores do have to eat meat. Otherwise they get sick. In some cases DEADLY sick. And humans are no exception.
And no, vegans don't count. It's not a viable diet alternative if it requires 21st century civilization to ship exotic food supplements to you from far stretches of the globe.
The "™" had me laughing my @$$ off!!! and the rest is so well put together, great job as usual KJ!
Fifty bits says that they catch Pencil Pusher.
Ahhh...the CMC, no matter what plan a pony or creature comes up with, even the most simple can be blown to bits by them, I bucking love those three
Glad Rainbow got the truth and her aplogy off of her chest, good for her
Obviously they're trademarked, now that the CMC is a franchise thanks to Babs.
And I don't fault Dash for tearing up over a fictional pony. Literature is supposed to evoke emotion, and the death of a liked, established character can be very heartfelt, particularly when it serves to break the reader's assumptions. Case in point? I felt my eyes water up when I read that single line. Yes, I cried over a fictional pony crying over a fictional pony. Very meta.
lol I sense Pencil Pusher is going to be in for a surprise.
CMC logic is best logic.
1943518
Technically we knew next to nothing about him, but I take your point.
2484073 - Actually, Blackbelt is one of my prereaders, so he does know a little bit more about Everest than most. For example, he knew that the little guy's name was Everest (unless he forgot that I told him...)
The awesomeness of child logic for the Epic Win