Bon-Bon stared slack-jawed as a hyperactive pink blur zipped around her bunker, putting up all sorts of decorations to make the rather dull space more festive. She knew of Pinkie’s reputation for throwing together parties on short notice, but this was a little ridiculous—Bon-Bon had only given her tentative agreement to let Pinkie Pie use her bunker about an hour and a half ago, and already she’d piled several crates of party supplies in the middle of the cavernous great room and started festooning pastel bunting across the room’s rafters (and that was leaving aside the question of how she’d gotten up there without using Bon-Bon’s stepladder).
Concluding that it was best to deal with weirdness one issue at a time, Bon-Bon decided to ask the most perplexing question she had: “Pinkie Pie, could you just explain to me how you can get this many party supplies on such short notice?”
Pinkie left the unhung bunting in the rafters and zipped down to the ground and over to the candymaker to provide her answer. “It’s not that difficult. After all, you aren’t the only shopkeeper in town who I’ve given ‘Code Polkadot’ instructions to. Oh, that reminds me: Bon-Bon, we’ve got a Code Polkadot on our hooves.”
Bon-Bon rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry, I’ll have plenty of candy sampler packs ready for your party. But if ‘Code Polkadot’ is for merchants in Ponyville, which one rented you that bounce house?” she asked pointing at the uninflated amusement which looked like it would take up nearly a third of the floor space in the main room.
“Quills & Sofas, obviously.”
This didn’t seem particularly obvious to Bon-Bon. “What? But they only sell quills and sofas.”
“Well, of course, but they also rent bounce houses,” Pinkie replied as she returned to her decorating.
“But... but why....” All attempts to make sense of Pinkie’s statements having failed, Bon-Bon sighed and went off to gather the requested candies from her inventory.
September 1 – 3:37 PM
“Hey! Be careful with those columns!”
By taking turns with Thunderlane, Rainbow Dash actually had fairly large chunks of time to kill between data runs for Twilight. Up until now, that time had been spent making sure that the rest of the town’s weather team was up to speed—which also included the unenviable task of convincing them that Fluttershy hadn’t lost her marbles. This was her first break for which she didn’t have any particular obligations assigned to her, so naturally, she was using it to move her house.
“Never mind the rainbows! If they break, I can make more later. The building is what’s important here, people!”
Of course, the fact that she had to keep wearing her fog suit meant that she wasn’t actually doing any of the moving herself, mostly because it was rather difficult to manipulate a large cloud while wearing an outfit specifically designed to allow a pegasus to pass through them. That was why she’d enlisted the help of several members of the reserve team. This wasn’t entirely self-serving, of course: after all, there were around a half-dozen cloud structures in the Ponyville area besides Rainbow Dash’s home, and this would be good practice for when they needed to be moved later in the day. This was done by carefully dividing the structure along lines established in its blueprints, allowing the individual pieces to be lifted upwards, where they were reassembled using ordinary cloud as a temporary glue. After the danger had passed, the building could then be moved back to its original spot, this time being held together by clouds specially formulated to act as cement.
“No, that’s the second floor, not the third one! Are you guys even looking at the plans I gave you?”
“Frustrating, isn’t it?” Rarity asked with a barely perceptible grin as Rainbow Dash landed and set her megaphone down on the ground. Ever since she’d finished Thunderlane’s fog suit, the fashionista had been sticking around the weather team so she could be easily found to perform repairs.
“No kidding,” the pegasus replied. “I mean, I could do this on my own in no time if I didn’t have to wear all this tin foil―yes, I know that it’s not actually metal that makes it shiny,” she hastily added to stave off the incoming correction.
“Well, as it happens, that fabric does contain a significant amount of silver thread... but I digress. I was wondering if you had the time to let me bounce an idea off of you.”
Rainbow Dash glanced upwards as the reserve team continued relocating her house; despite her frustrations, they weren’t doing that bad, so she could probably spare a minute or two. “Okay, lemme hear it.”
“It’s about Fluttershy and Pencil Pusher.”
Rainbow Dash cocked an eyebrow. “What about them?”
“Well, don’t you think things are moving a bit slowly between them?”
“Rarity, they only met each other two days ago―not even that, actually. It was early yesterday morning.”
“Precisely!” the unicorn replied, stamping the grass with one of her forehooves for emphasis. “Pencil Pusher has known Fluttershy for nearly two days, and he has yet to even ask her out for coffee.”
“Uh, well, they’ve been kinda busy, in case you didn’t notice.”
“Be that as it may, I still think that it’s in Fluttershy’s best interest that her new relationship begin under the best possible circumstances, and to that end, I’ve come up with a plan to ensure that their first date is flawless.”
“Whoa, hold up. You’ve already come up with a plan? You didn’t even know Pencil Pusher was interested in Fluttershy until this morning.”
“Well, I’ll admit that it’s not exactly a customized plan; I’m basically putting Mr. Pusher into the preexisting plan I had for Fluttershy.”
Rainbow Dash stared blankly at her friend. “Does it involve a picnic, frolicking in gorgeous vistas, and watching the sunset from a windswept cliff?”
“How’d you know that?”
“Because I read the back cover of one of your cheesy romance novels once.”
“Hmph,” Rarity sniffed. “I suppose you’d rather they searched a dank cavern for some long-forgotten treasure?”
“No, because I know that Daring Do is just a fictional character,” Rainbow Dash replied flatly.
“Then what would you suggest we do?”
The pegasus chuckled. “That’s easy: We do absolutely nothing, and let Pencil Pusher and Fluttershy figure out if they’re right for each other on their own. The way I see it, we only need to get involved if one of them starts acting like a super-aggressive jerk.”
Rarity seemed rather nonplussed by this option. “You will not consider the possibility that neither will be aggressive enough to ensure that the first date takes place, then?”
“Nope,” Rainbow Dash said as she picked up her megaphone and hovered in the air, ready to start giving a new round of orders to the reservists. “From what I’ve seen, Pencil Pusher really seems like the kind of stallion who can take care of things on his own.”
September 1 – 4:16 PM
Greg was in a spectacularly bad mood. Of course, this was partly due to the fact that his recent conversations with Hard Hitter had left behind a distinctly sour aftertaste, despite the reporter’s assurances that he wasn’t in any danger of fallout from his current investigation. Indeed, under most circumstances, he’d be glad to hear that Synergy was in trouble; Greg had been eyeing that mare’s position in the Personnel Division for several years now, and he was reasonably certain that he had the connections to nab it if she was forced out. But the knowledge that a self-important hack like Hard Hitter was doing actual journalistic work felt so wrong that all of Greg’s optimism seemed to evaporate before it could take hold in his mind.
But even if he had been able to muster up some enthusiasm for his potential career advancement, Greg would have been hard-pressed to ignore a far more glaring irritant: Pepperbox, or whatever his name was. It seemed like everypony in the DOW’s Central Office was talking about the work he’d been doing as the fog specialist’s liaison, and he was getting sick of listening to his peers gush about his underling’s “dedication” and “selfless volunteerism” for hours on end.
“Big deal!” the administrator ranted to himself as he paced around his office. “Never would have had the chance to be selfless if I hadn’t pushed him. Nopony thanking me. Shoving that holier-than-thou attitude in everypony’s face―where does he get off?!” None of them had seen him in Greg’s office earlier that morning, ordering him around and threatening to report him to his boss, as though his work took precedence over everything. The fact that DOW guidelines clearly stated that the fog specialist’s desires really did take precedence was irrelevant: this was a matter of principle.
In fact, the more Greg thought about it, the more obvious it was that he was the truly selfless one here. After all, if he hadn’t magnanimously forced Puddleglum to deliver the initial message to Whatshername in the first place, he might have been the one with the chance to show off for the whole department. “Anypony thanking me for that?” he asked the empty space in the corner of his office. “Nooooo. Just yammer on about how he’s ‘serving the community’ without even getting paid.” Here was another sore point: if it wasn’t for Greg’s knack for spotting and avoiding unnecessary paperwork, Pinetar Incident would be getting paid for his work, and then where would all the praise for his so-called “volunteerism” be?
The paunchy stallion was just about to launch into another tirade when he heard a series of rapid taps on his door. Quickly reseating himself behind his desk, Greg pulled out a boring-looking report on quarterly travel expenses and did his best to look like he was engrossed in its contents as he called out: “Enter.”
As if to emphasize Greg’s unlucky streak, into his office walked Pimple Popper, who doubtless intended to gratuitously throw his weight around once again. The grey stallion didn’t even bother making any small talk; he just reached into his saddlebag and pulled out some paperwork, flopping it onto Greg’s desk as he tried to avoid making eye contact. “Fluttershy has new plans for tomorrow,” he said tersely. “I need you to look this over and sign some things so there’s a record that you were informed about what’s going on, and then I’ll be out of your mane.” He didn’t even have the decency to try to make his order sound like a request.
Though Greg’s first instinct was to protest Pigwidgeon’s blatant insubordination as loudly as possible, a far better course of action soon presented itself; as he glanced over the proposal, he immediately noticed a glaring flaw, and what was more, he knew how best to exploit this flaw to prove his point. “No point in rushing,” he said as he made a pretense of looking over the paperwork. “Mistakes happen. I mean, Everfree? Seriously?”
“Greg, there really isn’t any time for office politics right now,” Poodle Hat said in a somewhat exasperated tone of voice. “Besides, technically, you aren’t even granting permission for anything: just acknowledging that you’re aware that Fluttershy’s going to be accessing the emergency fund. All that’s left is for you to sign these forms, and the plan can get underway.”
“Not arguing there.” Greg said as he picked up a quill and idly dipped it into an ink pot. He paused, somewhat melodramatically, before moving in for the kill. “Not sure if Interior will feel the same way, though.”
“What? I’ve never heard of that pony.”
“Department of Interior. Last I checked, Everfree’s a protected area. Their jurisdiction. Might need their say-so to dump experimental clouds there.”
“But Fluttershy is supposed to―”
“Weather policy. Only covers the Weather Department,” Greg said, setting down his quill and standing up from his desk again. “Should bring this up with my superiors. Make sure Interior’s okay with this. Fewer headaches in the long run.”
“Fewer headaches?!” Pago Pago shouted incredulously. “If this plan isn’t ready to go by tomorrow morning, the situation is going to get even worse!”
Greg did his best to repress the triumphant grin that threatened to spread across his face; it was about time this pencil pusher got put back in his place. “Maybe they’ll see it that way.”
The grey stallion sighed in resignation. “Yeah, right. Like anypony that high up will risk their neck by stepping into another department’s territory. I need to take care of this myself. Do you know when the Interior Department’s office closes?”
“Six, maybe seven?” Greg said with a shrug.
“Well, that should at least give me some time for a quick dinner before heading to the local branch.”
“Never mentioned a local branch,” Greg responded, no longer making any effort to hide his glee. “Interior isn’t that big. Just the main office.”
Party Platter’s eyes widened in shock. “I’m going to have to go to Canterlot?”
“Could send a telegram,” Greg replied facetiously.
“There’s no way something like this would be approved without a face-to-face meeting,” Piggly Wiggly said with a glare.
“Might want to get moving, then.”
“Yeah, thanks for the help,” Pinball Wizard said sarcastically as he headed for the door.
“Good luck,” Greg lied.