August 31 – 8:18 AM
“Alright, will somepony please explain what in tarnation’s goin’ on here?”
Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy glanced up from the various books, maps, and charts they’d been poring over for the past half-hour to see Applejack standing in front of them with a perplexed look on her face. “Is something the matter?” the unicorn asked, rising from the mountain of resources that had been building up around her.
“I dunno. That’s why I’m askin’. I came into town to sell my apples at the market, and for some reason all the weatherponies are flingin’ tornados every which way but loose. I figured I’d come and ask y’all about it, since it seems like you’d either know what’s goin’ on or know where to find out.”
“Well,” the librarian said, “I think the tornados are supposed to be pushing moist air out of the area, but you should really talk to Fluttershy about the specifics.”
Having never heard Twilight Sparkle defer to Fluttershy on any issue unrelated to Equestrian fauna, Applejack was somewhat taken aback. “Uh, okay. Er, what’s goin’ on, Fluttershy?”
The pegasus seemed a bit reluctant to divert her attention away from her isobaric map, though this seemed to be the result of general nervousness, rather than an intense work ethic. “Oh, um, there was an accident in Cloudsdale last night, and now a massive bank of industrial clouds is heading towards Ponyville. The Department of Weather put me in charge of taking care of it.”
Applejack raised an eyebrow skeptically. “They put you in charge? Why not one of the weatherponies?”
“Um, yes. I mean, low-altitude clouds are classified as fog, no matter where they come from, and I’m supposed to be a fog specialist... I guess.”
If Applejack detected any uncertainty in her friend’s voice, she gave no indication. “Huh... and this fog business is really worth makin’ a big deal over?”
“Probably, but I’ll have a better idea once Pinkie Pie gets back. I sent her over the Unicorn Range to have a look at it.”
The apple farmer rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “Is that so? Interestin’... So, if I were to suggest that my customers stock up on apples—”
“Applejack, you can’t seriously be considering exploiting this situation to make a few extra bits,” Twilight Sparkle said with more than a hint of moral indignation in her voice.
The earth pony sighed. “Twi, you don’t understand. I’ve got a business to run, and that means takin’ advantage of the situations life gives ya, and from where I’m standin’, this kinda looks like it might turn out to be one of ’em.”
The unicorn didn’t seem very convinced. “In other words, you’ve got opportunity in this ve-ry community.”
Applejack groaned. “Alright, alright. I get yer point. I won’t scare customers just ta drum up sales. Still, I better restock on dried apple slices. When the preppers hear about this, they’re gonna go nuts, no matter what my sales pitch is.”
“Preppers?” Fluttershy asked.
Applejack shrugged. “Some ponies spend a lot of time and money preparin’ for every kinda doomsday y’all could think of. Can’t honestly say I blame ’em what with all the weird stuff that’s happened around Ponyville since Twi came to town. They’re always stockin’ up on food that’ll last a long time, since they’re expectin’ society to collapse at any moment.”
“Oh, come on,” Twilight said. “I know things haven’t turned out as pastoral and idyllic as the local postcards imply, but that’s ridiculous. How bad could things possibly get?”
“Well, a popular one recently is that the six of us are plannin’ on overthrowin’ the princesses an’ rulin’ Equestria with an iron hoof.”
“What?! But why would they buy apples from you if they think you’re part of a conspiracy?”
“They don’t. The ones that believe that buy them from Big Macintosh. But most of the time, it’s stuff like natural disasters they’re worried about, or maybe some big ol’ bad guy poppin’ up when we least expect it. In any case, they all plan on hiding with their food until it’s safe to rebuild civilization, or somethin’ like that.”
Twilight sighed. “I just don’t understand how anypony can be that paranoid and stay sane.”
“Says the unicorn who keeps assumin’ that Celestia’s gonna dump her as a student,” Applejack added with a smirk.
“That’s... different.”
Applejack chuckled softly, apparently deciding to drop the conversation and spare her friend the indignity of losing the argument. “Yeah, I know. But it’s fun to tweak ya. Anyway, I gotta get back to the market. Our apples might be able to sell themselves, but they sure as hay can’t make change. Oh, and Fluttershy?”
“Yes?” the pegasus answered.
“If’n there’s anythin’ I can do ta help out, just give me a holler.”
“Um, alright. Thank you.”
August 31 – 8:25 AM
It didn’t take Pinkie Pie very long to remember why she disliked her family’s business so much: it was boring. The gravel lines she was following just went on and on and on, only occasionally being interrupted by rocks that had been meticulously placed in spots chosen to take advantage of the natural flow of earth magic. This flow was enhanced by raking the bed of white gravel, and then Pinkie stopped listening to what her parents were saying because they started talking about the value of patience and inner peace and other stupid and pointless things that had absolutely nothing to do with having fun.
Still, even though the passage of time and a complete lack of interest in the subject had eroded much of Pinkie Pie’s specific knowledge of petriculture, she was fairly certain that if she followed the ridges, she’d eventually reach the edge of the rock field. Then, if she moved along the edge of the rock field, she’d probably reach the home of the ponies who owned it, and then she could figure out what to do next... assuming the farmers were home, that is.
Pinkie Pie’s uncharacteristic pessimism was broken, however, when she suddenly saw a light shining through the fog, swinging back and forth as though it were being dangled from a pony’s mouth. She cautiously moved towards it, afraid that it would turn out to be nothing more than some sort of hallucination, but stopped when the light suddenly lowered down and stopped moving. Had it been placed on the ground? That question was soon answered with another one: “Hello? Is there anypony out here?” The voice was rough and grating, a sandpaper baritone that nonetheless managed to be perfectly clear and articulate, and Pinkie recognized it almost immediately.
“Daddy?! Daddy, it’s me, Pinkie!”
As she continued to gallop towards the light, a very familiar silhouette began to form, with a wide-brimmed hat and an impressive pair of sideburns. “Pinkamena? Is that you?”
The pink pony grinned as wide as she could when she realized that the stallion she’d heard was exactly who she’d thought he was. “Oh, I’m so glad to see you! I mean, I knew I was lost, but I had no idea I was this lost, but now you’ve found me and I’ll be able to get back to Ponyville and everything is going to be super-duper!” Pinkie threw her forelegs around her father’s neck and squeezed him in the tightest hug she could manage, and the tan stallion was more than happy to return the favor, even though his smile wasn’t nearly as pronounced.
However, this hug also alerted Shepherd’s Pie to a more pressing matter: his daughter was cold, wet, and shivering. Without a second thought, he immediately took his raincoat off and placed it on Pinkie’s shoulders. “There... that should help you warm up a bit. But what are you doing out here?”
“Oh, I’m here to investigate the fog, actually. One of my friends is working for the pegasi in charge of all the weather, and she asked me to have a look because I can actually walk into the fog to see how thick it is.”
“I see... but wouldn’t the Department of Weather have this sort of information already?”
“Um, maybe, except this is actually the result of some sort of accident that happened last night.”
Shep looked really confused now. “Last night? But how on earth could you get here from Ponyville so quickly?”
“I flew here in my flying machine.”
“You have a flying machine?”
“Uh-huh.”
Shepherd’s Pie chuckled at the off-hoof way his daughter talked about such a strange idea as though it was perfectly normal. He and Rhubarb had been right to let her move to Ponyville—never had he met a pony so ill-suited for the life of a rock farmer. “So, why didn’t you just fly back out?”
“I had to land it after I got tired. Pedaling that thing takes a lot of energy, and even I’ve got my limits. I guess I should have just rested for a while and gotten back on it again, but... um... I was kind of curious, and I didn’t think I’d lose sight of the spruce tree so quickly. I probably would have gotten out on my own, but the fog was so thick and I was looking all around me and I wasn’t paying attention and I got lost—”
“No, Pinkie, you are mistaken,” Shep interrupted his daughter with an ever-so-slightly detectable smirk on his face.
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“You were not lost, my daughter.”
“But Daddy, I had no idea where I was, and I’m pretty sure that’s what ‘lost’ means. Oh, wait, is this one of those inspirational-type things where you tell me that I was never lost because I had my family in my heart or something like that?”
“Not exactly. While it may be true that you didn’t know where you were, there are some unfortunate implications to that statement. You see, I only knew to come look for you because the Sense told me that there was a pony who’d gotten lost nearby.”
“What’s so bad about that?”
“In itself, nothing, but you forget that your mother believes the Sense to be nothing more than a series of coincidences, and she clearly voiced her disapproval of my decision to go outside at the urging of a tingle in my ear. Thus, if you tell her you were lost, that would mean she was wrong, with the implication that I had won the argument. As I would rather avoid the consequences of this situation, I ask that you tell your mother otherwise.”
It took Pinkie Pie a few seconds to fully understand what her father was saying, but eventually, her eyes lit up. “Oh... right. So, I was just... um... dropping in to visit?” Pinkie finished her proposed fib with a wink.
“Lose the wink, and I think that will do quite nicely,” Shep said as he stroked his chin. “Now, come on. We’ve got some hot tea brewing back at the farmhouse.”
“Okie dokie lokie!”
“So, tell me, Pinkamena, how’s your aunt doing?”
“Oh, just fine. She just got reelected to another term last month, so I threw her a grand old party to celebrate...”
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glad that worked out well
and before i forget... leroy jenkins
The mayor of Ponyville is Pinkie's aunt?
...
That makes a lot of sense, actually.
Her aunt? Oh, I like that. I like that very much...
Nice nod to the mane dying exposé.
Heh, Mare's a Pie? Sure, why not.
1641819 Both have a pink mane and cause antics (The Mayor: Political Antics Pinkie: Reality Bending Antics.
"grand old party"
I see what you did there.
1641819 It does explain how Pinkie never seems to get in trouble for violating all the laws she must constantly be violating; noise, parades, physics...
Fun chapter. Minor issue:
You might also want to change the "was" to "were".
I like how you used a reference to Flim and Flam with Twilight and Applejack. Yay to the aunt? Though...does that mean Pinkie can do anything she wants?
Suddenly Mayor Mare's pink mane makes sense!
Shepherd's a wise old stallion indeed to avoid that particular argument.
Some great character bits in this chapter for Pinkie, her dad, and AJ.
I'm looking forward to seeing whether the mayor being Pinkie's aunt is foreshadowing or just a fun throw-away gag.
“Some ponies spend a lot of time and money preparin’ for every kinda doomsday y’all could think of. Can’t honestly say I blame ’em what with all the weird stuff that’s happened around Ponyville since Twi came to town. They’re always stockin’ up on food that’ll last a long time, since they’re expectin’ society to collapse at any moment.”
Have you been talking to my father?
“So, tell me, Pinkamena, how’s your aunt doing?”
“Oh, just fine. She just got reelected to another term last month, so I threw her a grand old party to celebrate...”
Dammit Kwakerjak! stop giving me conflicting headcannons!
also: this chapter made me really want to see you do an Applejack story.
Ah so the mayors her aunt lol my head cannonalways had the mayor as her granny pie lol. But either way I think pinkie and the mayor are related.
Short chapter is short.
It makes me crave MOAR!
I really love how you bothered to flesh out Pinkie's family in interesting ways - without taking the typical route of making them the traditionalist bad guys to Pinkie's element of laughter ways. You've got some great contrasting character dynamics without painting things with too harsh a brush. I also liked how you touched on rock farming as having a Zen philosophy feel, it's an interesting touch that helps to explain very easily a lot of the distance between Pinkie and her parents. It's rather less about a sense of humor as such and more about differences in... pacing.
Catching up on earlier chapters, I do feel that Rainbow Dash came down too hard on Pinkie and by extension on Fluttershy... after all, they've been in enough tight spots together to know that Pinkie knows how to prioritize and Be Serious when things warrant it. It felt a little (just a little) uncharacteristic of Dash (except maybe very early season one Dash), and kind of a cheap shot at Fluttershy. You don't need to take cheap shots at Fluttershy, the poor girl is gonna have a hard enough time as it is even without people messing with her for its own sake. ;) That's the only real complaint I have so far though.
No idea where you're going with Pencil Pusher at all, but I'm sure I'll enjoy seeing how you tie it all together.
You, sir, are weaving an excellent tale. I like the way you're portraying Pinkie's family in this. And Mayor Mare related to the Pies? It just fits so nicely. Also, to Karkadinn, I think that Rainbow Dash is just a bit ticked that the Cloudsdale weather board basically overlooked her. The storm is heading to Ponyville (I think?) so it would make sense to ask Ponyville's chief weather manager to deal with it... but they went to Fluttershy instead, probably to see if she is actually good enough to warrant that Cloudsdale pay the taxes on her house. If i remember correctly, Pencil Pusher was kind of hinting that he knew that Fluttershy only got the fog specialist title to reduce the bills on her home.
1641819
because my fingers are penises you see.
Dagnabbit, you got the chapter out before I could go over the last section
Well, except for a few bitswhich don't seem quite fleshed-out enough for my tastes, it's pretty damned good.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_future.png
Kinda sort. Now...
PINKIE, GET OVER THERE, YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE!
Twilight went there.
Also, how did the second shortest chapter manage to be the best one?dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png (Shortest if you don't count the prologue.)
Wow, this fic just keeps getting better!
th09.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2012/317/e/c/applejack_squee_by_ravirr94-d5kszvo.png
I liked the discussion of Equestria's survivalists and conspiracy theorists.
IMO
AJ should get more pissed at being compared to Flim and Flam
I like how Shepard knows its better to lose to his wife than to win and have her ire
Yea, I giggled incessantly at this line.
Pot, say hello to kettle.*cough* Lesson Zero
Shepard sounds way too sophisticated for a farmer IMO, I'd expect him to be like slightly more talkative Big Mac and I just couldn't help but imagine Fancy Pants.
Also it's sort of a shame this story isn't in Perticuture-Inscape universe, but can't wait for more nonetheless.
1645609 - Well, since I'm imagining rock farming as zen rock gardening on a large scale, I tried to portray him as an enlightened source of sage wisdom (with a healthy dose of pragmatism thrown in for good measure).
1641819
Agreed.
1646113
My new headcannon: What if Rock Farmers are Crystal Ponies that escaped the 1000 year banishment, but were still Sombra'd?
Or even better, what if they DIDN'T escape, and Pinkie is the first one to get out?
1646676 Huh...now that idea really makes one think....very impressive
And damn, I'm glad Pinkie got out and it's crazy to think of Mayor Mare as her aunt....very nice. I'll be awaiting more of this very well written story. HA being compared to your enemies is never a good thing.
so that's why the mayor dyes her hair
the mane dying scandal, she doesnt go by her real name, now it all makes sense why
shes a pie.
I love this story, and I can't help but wish that the chapters were just a little bit longer.
Geez, that was short. I kinda wish you had combined it with the next chapter to make something I wouldn't blast through in ten second flat.
I do like your idea that a rock farm is basically a zen rock garden.
You know what...never mind.
Anyway, this was a wonderful chapter, if rather brief. You have made some excellent expansions on Pinkie's roots, and for that I applaud you.
Have a nice day.
--Not a brony
Pinkie's dad is a master in the Sense. He's like Yoda combined with a farmer family-man. I approve of this greatly.
-“Oh, just fine. She just got reelected to another term last month, so I threw her a grand old party to celebrate...”
Ah hah, now it all makes sense!
The whole bit in which swindling immediately came to AJ's mind was certainly out of character for the Element of Honesty, but at least it was directly pointed out. Still, though, that doesn't quite alleviate the issue. Oh well. Small problem.
Anyhow, good chapter, nonetheless.
1835994 - I prefer to think that AJ was just mulling the idea over out loud, and that even if Twilight hadn't pointed it out, she would have concluded that it was dishonest on her own before acting on it.
wait... aunt.... + elected for another term = MAYOR MARE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Pinkie being related to Mayor Mare makes all kinds of sense, I congratulate you on being the first author (that I've read) to make that connection. Hats off to you, sir!
1642027 and i've always seen the pie family as absolutely, great stonking tits huge.
I love your portayal of the Pie family.
1645456 Actually, Twilight is right that it's a different case, in that her paranoia is focused on one particular event, that is, losing the respect of her mentor, that she is willing to do anything to prevent. Preppers are afraid of everything failing, despite how hard that would be. No, a better episode to look at to find Twilight with that kind of paranoia would be It's About Time.
Dangit! Not a week ago, I had made almost the exact same connection that Mayor Mare was related to Pinkie, hence the pink hair (and also similar hair shape and even a bit of the eyes) and I thought I was one of the only ones to do that. I'm surprised you hadn't chosen to stick with the simpler Inky, Blinky, Clyde, and Sue name set for her family.
"Some ponies spend a lot of time and money preparin’ for every kinda doomsday y’all could think of."
Prepper ponies...my life is now complete.
A grand old party eh? Guess Mayor Mare is a republican
2664529 *cough*
"Shepards pie."
Ok I have to admit that was a stroke of genius.
1953377 Me too. It's much different from my headcanon, but definitely in a good way. I like the idea of Pinkie's parents being nice, even though I secretly imagine sometimes that they're not. Alternate universes are confusing
Why is "ty" of opportunity the only part bolded?
___________________
Hypothingymabobbia, that killed me. After all with how many thingamajigs Pinkie Pie is filled with, a loss of them could be quite devastating to that poor mare. Also what exactly does Pusher's CM stand for? Since this isn't a dark fic I doubt it represents a tub filled with the blood of ponies who failed to pay their dues to the DoW services.