• Published 18th Sep 2012
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Flash Fog - Kwakerjak



Fluttershy must deal with an unusually thick fog as it approaches Ponyville.

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September 2 – 10:50 AM

When Sweetie Belle exited the bounce house, her friends were eagerly waiting to explain the plan.

“Alright,” Apple Bloom said quietly as the trio huddled in one of the few unused rooms in the bunker, “first, the bad news: the door’s bein’ watched, an’ it’s that Pony Express delivery pony—you know, the one with the lazy eye you ain’t s’posed ta talk about. After doin’ some eavesdroppin’, I learned that the door’s lock is magical, and it’s programmed to keep foals from gettin’ out without permission.”

Scootaloo let out a derisive snort. “Can you believe this? It’s like they don’t even trust us.”

“But... aren’t we trying to break the rules?” Sweetie Belle asked in mild confusion.

“Well, yeah,” Scootaloo admitted, “but that doesn’t change the fact that they refuse to trust us.”

“In any case, it don’t matter that much,” Apple Bloom said, “because the good news is that all we need to open the door is the hoofprint of a grown up pony.”

“And how do we get one of those?” Scootaloo asked. “Saying ‘pretty please’?”

“Not exactly...” Apple Bloom replied as she pulled a small vial of brownish liquid from behind the ribbon in her mane. “I found this in a first aid kit. It’s one of those medicines they use to help ponies get ta sleep. I figure we add an extra large dose to some food, give it to the pony guardin’ the door, and she’ll be knocked out in no time. Then we just use her hoof to unlock the door, and we’re out.”

“But won’t the guard know we gave it to her?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Nah,” Apple Bloom replied as she dismissively waved her hoof. “This stuff takes a while to kick in. We just gotta wait a bit, that’s all.”

“But what if she doesn’t eat the food?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Well, that’s where you come in,” Scootaloo said. “Since you were too busy bouncing to help come up with a plan, your job is to figure out what the guard likes to eat, and getting us some of that so we can use the... stuff on it.”

Sweetie Belle sighed. “Fine...”

“Good,” Scootaloo said. “Now, if you need us, Apple Bloom and me are going to wait in line at the bounce house.”

“‘Apple Bloom and I,’” Sweetie Belle groused as her friends returned to the party.

September 2 – 11:01 AM

“Hey, Mac, you’re single, right?”

“Eeyup.” Rainbow Dash did the best she could to hide her relief upon learning this news, as it meant that there wouldn’t be any unfortunate implications if Big Macintosh agreed to help her out. When she’d decided to use one of her breaks to drop in on the safety patrol’s headquarters at the town hall, she’d initially thought that finding a volunteer would be a relatively simple matter. However, she’d soon realized that asking somepony to let you pretend to flirt with them was far more awkward than she’d initially thought—unless it was somepony she knew pretty well, even bringing up the subject felt super weird.

That limited the number of potential candidates very quickly, since most of the ponies that Rainbow Dash knew well seemed to be helping out with Pinkie’s party. Essentially, Rainbow had two ponies to pick from, and since Applejack couldn’t tell a lie to save her life, that meant that her hopes lay with her taciturn brother. “Great,” she replied to the draft pony, “because I need to ask you to do a really, really big favor for me.”

Big Macintosh didn’t say anything in response, but he made a short bobbing motion with his head which Rainbow assumed meant that she would explain further before he agreed to anything.

“Okay, this might sound a little weird, but hear me out. I can’t really go into details, but Fluttershy thinks I’m interested in somepony, even though I’m really not, and it’s making things complicated. You with me so far?”

Big Macintosh nodded his head. “Eeyup.”

“So, to show her that I’m not interested, I was thinking that I should flirt with somepony else where Fluttershy can hear me. Not for real, you understand—just for pretend.”

“Nope.”

Rainbow Dash looked confused at this response and scratched her head through her silver fog suit. “You don’t understand?”

“Oh, I understand,” Macintosh replied. “I just ain’t doin’ it.”

“But you’re, like, the only pony who can help me!”

Big Macintosh appeared to mulled this over for a split-second before answering, “Nope.”

“But why not?!” Rainbow Dash asked, her voice taking on an uncharacteristically pathetic tone.

“It’s a bad idea.” He turned and started to walk towards the crowd of volunteers, but Rainbow Dash grabbed one of his hind legs.

“C’mon, you’ve gotta help me out here!” she pleaded.

“What in tarnation is goin’ on over here?” The new voice was stern, irritated, and it belonged to Applejack who had walked over to see what the commotion was. “The two of you are makin’ a scene.”

“It’s... it’s nothing. Really!” Rainbow Dash said as she let go of Big Macintosh’s leg and stood up.

“Sugarcube, that’s awful melodramatic for a plain old ‘nuthin’.”

Fortunately, Big Macintosh was a considerably more forthcoming with an explanation. “Miss Rainbow Dash wants to flirt with somepony in front of Miss Fluttershy for some reason.”

“What?” Applejack exclaimed. “You gotta be kiddin’ me.”

“It’s not what you think,” Rainbow insisted.

Applejack sighed and rested one of her forehooves on Rainbow Dash’s shoulder. “Look, Sugarcube, I ain’t got a problem if you fancy Fluttershy, but I don’t think tryin’ to make her jealous is the best way to go about lettin’ her know. Besides that, she’s got more important things to worry about right now, so maybe you should put this off until later.”

“No! No no no!” Rainbow Dash said. The last thing she needed at the moment was another crossed wire. “That’s not what’s going on here.”

“Oh?” Applejack asked as her voice lost all traces of gentleness and support. “Then just what is goin’ on here?”

“Um... I can’t really tell you. It’s really, really complicated, and like you said, there’s way more important things to do, so I’ll just be going—”

“So you can try pullin’ this little stunt on somepony else?” Applejack interrupted as she pressed her head against Rainbow Dash’s and stared her in the eyes. “I don’t think so.”

“No, really,” Rainbow protested, as she tried to back her way over to the door. “I just remembered that Fluttershy wanted me to find a left-hoofed smoke shifter in case this plan doesn’t work....”

Applejack sighed and rubbed her forehead. “Rainbow Dash, you’re almost as bad at lyin’ as I am, so how about you just sit yer tail down right here, quit makin’ excuses, an’ tell me what’s goin’ on?”

September 2 – 11:13 AM

Derpy Hooves sighed as she exited the bathroom and walked over towards the stool next to the door where she’d been sitting for the last forty minutes or so. When she’d volunteered to help out with Pinkie Pie’s party, she had initially hoped to be assigned with a task that was a bit more entertaining than simply watching the door. While she certainly was appreciative that Pinkie had trusted her with the important task of making sure that none of the foals wandered outside into the fog, she would have preferred to be in the midst of all the hustle and bustle of the actual party. Not only would it have been far less boring, but she would have been able to spend some time with her daughter, Dinky, who was attending the festivities. At least Pinkie Pie had said that somepony would come to take her place after two hours, so her shift at the door was almost halfway done.

Fortunately, the sound of hoofbeats on the stairs broke up the monotony as three fillies emerged from the party below. Derpy had met them before, as all three went to school with Dinky, but aside from their reputation for getting into trouble, she didn’t know the Cutie Mark Crusaders particularly well. “Hello there,” she said pleasantly as she scanned the trio with her good eye. “I’m sorry, but I can’t let you outside right now.”

“Oh, we know that,” said the orange pegasus, who was named Scootaloo, or something like that, if Derpy recalled correctly. “We just came up here to get some sugar from the candy shop’s storeroom. They need it in the kitchen, and we volunteered.”

“I see...” Derpy said as she considered this claim. “Well, I’m not sure if the sugar is stored in this part of the storeroom, or the part that’s outside the bunker, and like I just said, I can’t let you outside.”

“But can we at least take a look around here, though?” Scootaloo asked.

“Well... I suppose that couldn’t hurt,” Derpy said.

“Thank you!” the three fillies chorused cheerfully.

“Don’t mention it,” Derpy replied with a dismissive wave of her hoof.

“Oh, by the way,” said the earth pony with the ribbon in her mane whose name escaped Derpy at the moment, “we brought somethin’ for ya from the kitchen.”

“You did?”

“Uh-huh,” replied the earth pony, who probably had an apple-related name, since Derpy was fairly certain that she was Applejack’s sister, now that she thought about it. The yellow filly turned around and picked up a plate in her mouth, which held...

“Is that... a blueberry muffin?”

Scootaloo and the unicorn filly nodded.

“For me?”

“That’s right,” Scootaloo said. Beside her, the unicorn filly continued smiling... though there seemed to be something oddly disquieting about her silence.

Derpy pushed this concern aside, though. There was a muffin to eat. She took the plate from Apple-name and set it down on the stool as the three fillies went behind a shelf to examine Bon-Bon’s supply of ingredients. With a huge grin on her face, she picked up the blueberry muffin and stuffed it into her mouth. “Mmm... delicious... though it has a funny aftertaste—”

Any further observations were interrupted by a series of sharp, hurried knocks on the door. Derpy walked over to the intercom next to door and held down a large, round button. “Hello?”

“Oh, um, hey,” replied a voice through the intercom. The device had distorted its audio quality, but the voice’s tone was high and clear, like a colt soprano. “Would it be okay if I came in?”

Derpy considered this for a moment. The voice sounded really young, but if he was a foal, why wasn’t he already at the party? A straggler, perhaps? Her reasoning didn’t seem to be working properly, as an odd, queasy feeling in the pit of her stomach seemed kept distracting her. “Um, are you a foal?”

“No,” the voice replied. “I’m Spike. Twilight Sparkle’s assistant? I work with her at the library.”

“Oh, you’re that baby dragon, aren’t you? Well, I suppose I can let you in.” Derpy walked over to a touchpad and pressed her hoof against it. After a few seconds, the door’s magical locking mechanism gave a loud beep and Derpy pulled down on the handle, swinging the bunker door inward to let the small purple dragon inside.

“Thanks,” Spike said. “Uh, do you know if Pencil Pusher is here?”

Derpy screwed up her muzzle in confusion. “Pencil Pusher?”

“He’s a grey pegasus stallion from Cloudsdale. I think he has a red line for a cutie mark.”

“Oh, him,” Derpy said as she realized who Spike was talking about. “He’s downstairs, in the main room. Pinkie Pie put him in charge of the bounce house.”

“Thanks a lot,” Spike said as he rushed down the staircase.

As the echoes of Spike’s footsteps faded away, Derpy let out a long yawn. “Wow... I’m feeling tired. Maybe when my guard shift is done, I should take a quick nap before heading to the party.” It seemed that the time she’d spent the previous night helping some friends move their cloud house was catching up with her. Then again, she wasn’t likely to drop off if the queasy feeling in her stomach didn’t go away. “Ugh... maybe I should have taken my time with that muff—”

Depry stopped mid-sentence as the queasiness suddenly grew into the worst feeling of nausea she’d ever experienced. Clutching a hoof over her mouth, she raced back towards the bathroom and slammed the door behind her.

As sounds of retching filtered into the bunker’s foyer, the Crusaders hesitantly crept out from behind the shelves. “That... doesn’t sound good....” Sweetie Belle said uncertainly as the sound of undigested food hitting porcelain continued at an alarming rate.

“I thought you said that stuff would just knock her out,” Scootaloo said quietly to Apple Bloom as she warily eyed the bathroom door.

“I... I thought it would,” Apple Bloom insisted as anguished moans joined the sickening melange of noises. She pulled out the vial and stared at the label. “I coulda sworn syrup of ipecac was used ta help ponies sleep. I mean, it says here that it’s an ‘emetic,’ and I saw that on a jar of some sorta chamomile cream once, an’ everypony knows chamomile helps ya sleep.”

Sweetie Belle sighed. “I think the word is ‘emollient.’ They put it in skin creams to reduce swelling.”

“Oh, come on,” Scootaloo said. “There’s no way that one was in our homework.”

“It wasn’t,” Sweetie Belle said, “but it was on a tube of cream in Rarity’s bathroom, so I asked her about it.”

Apple Bloom would have continued this conversation, were it not for the sound of a fresh round of vomit splashing into a toilet bowl to refocus their attention. “Maybe we oughta get going...” she said hesitantly.

“What are you talking about?” Sweetie Belle asked. “Ms. Hooves obviously needs help right now.”

“Are you nuts?” Scootaloo whispered harshly. “If we do that, we’ll have to tell her what we did, and there’s no way we’ll be able to get out to the human trap then.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Sweetie Belle countered. “We’re not going to be getting out if she’s conscious. I say we cut our losses and help out.”

Apple Bloom quickly scanned around the room until she found a small metal box attached to one of the walls. “There we go! Another first aid kit. I betcha this’ll have somethin’ that’ll fix the problem.”

“So we are helping her, then?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“I guess,” Apple Bloom said as she walked towards the bathroom, but she suddenly stopped in her tracks. “Hey, look at this! She didn’t actually close the door. It’s partly open.”

Scootaloo nodded. “If that’s not a sign, I don’t know what is. C’mon.”

Sweetie Belle, however, was still staring at the bathroom door, where Derpy’s moans were starting to sound more pitiful. “We... we can’t just leave now. If we do that, we’re going to get in trouble.”

“Sweetie Belle, she knows we gave her that muffin,” Scootaloo said in obvious exasperation. “I’m pretty sure we’re already in trouble.”

“So why do we want to make things worse, then?”

“We aren’t!” Scootaloo insisted. “We’re capturing a human to save Equestria, remember? It’ll make up for this; I’m sure of it. Now come on... I think she’s nearly done.” Indeed, the disturbing splashing noises had stopped, and now only the sounds of dry heaves came from the bathroom.

Apple Bloom pried the door open until it was wide enough to let a filly through. “C’mon, y’all, we gotta get outta here quick in case somepony outside notices the door.” Her eyes were darting around, as if she was worried that somepony would discover their mess.

Sweetie Belle just kept staring at the bathroom.

“She’ll be fine,” Scootaloo said. “My parents once told me she’s tougher than she looks.”

“Besides, it ain’t like we’re just leavin’ her in a lurch,” Apple Bloom added. “I put that first aid kit on her stool where she’s sure ta see it.”

“I guess that’s better than nothing....” Sweetie Belle said as she turned towards the exit.

Grinning, Scootaloo pushed her friend through the bunker door before she could change her mind. Then, after a quick look around to make sure that nopony else could see them, she exited herself, shutting the door behind her.

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