Fluttershy finds a 5-year old human boy named Thomas who once lived in an old orphanage with no memory of his family and no friends to look out for him. It’s up to her to care for the child like any mother could.
This story takes place during the end of Season 4, but after the first three episodes of Season 5.
I like stories when Angel is not being a major jerk
"Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight,” Thomas prayed. “
I see what you did there 👀😂. Star Darlings reference 😏😉
This is just like A Tale of A Loving Sister but this time in the pony world. I'm shocked Thomas is not shocked of a talking pony or think he's dreaming or going insane
10432709
I have no idea what that is, but thanks
10432758
Well it's a show on Disney Channel and that part is from the extended version of their theme song
Nice chapter. Nice how Thomas kinda has Chase's personally like shyness, they both like Rarity, scared of meeting new people/ponies. Ya know stuff like that🙂
Pretty good.
It's pretty good. There are a few things that need a different word, like this paragraph,
cowered himself should be covered himself or if you want to keep cowered then just remove himself.
Examples#1
Suddenly, he heard the sound of hoofsteps coming upstairs, and he cowered under the blanket, shaking like a leaf. Fluttershy made it upstairs with Thomas’s breakfast on her back, which was a bowl of oat porridge with milk and mixed berries. It was put on a tray with a spoon and napkin next to the bowl. After she placed it on the side table, she saw movement underneath her bedsheets, and heard rapid breathing like he was shivering, ‘Aww, the poor thing must be frightened to death,’ she thought to herself. Fluttershy removed the blanket from Thomas’s head and stroked his arm with her hoof.
Example#2
Suddenly, he heard the sound of hoofsteps coming upstairs, and he covered himself under the blanket, shaking like a leaf. Fluttershy made it upstairs with Thomas’s breakfast on her back, which was a bowl of oat porridge with milk and mixed berries. It was put on a tray with a spoon and napkin next to the bowl. After she placed it on the side table, she saw movement underneath her bedsheets, and heard rapid breathing like he was shivering, ‘Aww, the poor thing must be frightened to death,’ she thought to herself. Fluttershy removed the blanket from Thomas’s head and stroked his arm with her hoof.
Here you just need to add a "n" to the she left the cottage with Thomas on her back
But, the story is off to an amazing start and I look forward to seeing more
Awwwww sooooooo cute!😍☺️ I love it 😍❤️😍
nice work my friend keep it up outstanding
hey
GoebelTron
what happen to chapter 4
10437533
Sorry, I wasn’t finished with it yet. I kept pressing the wrong button
10436498
Is it okay if I add the castle of friendship instead?
10437550 that ok and k
10437551
Sure no problem
10437558
I also made Thomas go to two social events in this story.
1. His welcome to Equestria party
2. The Grand Galloping Gala
He also gets bullied by Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, but he runs away to the forest, but this time he encounters a dark red and menacing looking fire-breathing dragon. Twilight saves him and brings him home. I also made the bullies hear about Thomas’s past life and they both befriend him.
He becomes a Cutie Mark Crusader
He comforts Starlight’s pain by giving her a hug.
I made Queen Chrysalis kidnap him, feed off of his love for Fluttershy/his mother, and who do you think should rescue him?
1. Twilight and her friends
2. Starlight Glimmer (solo)
cute chapter
10439105
Starlight should save him. Gives Chrysalis a chance to hate Starlight even more.
10439350
And I made it just Thomas being kidnapped instead of everybody else like in the Season 6 finale. And I made Starlight bring him back safe and sound.
That was the most sappy chater i read, I LOVED it. I even cried happy tears not very many stories can make me Emotional. So when one does I enjoy every minute of it. I look forward to your next chapter. Keep up the great work!
That was a great slice of life chapter. Now if you want some interesting conflict besides the inevitable bullying he'll get from an unreformed DT and SS (Diamond Tiara &Silver Spoon). You can have Thomas get sick because of 2 reasons. His body needs to eat protin or a protien subsitute and the second reason mild poisoning because at the end of the chapter his dinner had Daisy petals in it and i'm sure that Daisies are mildly poisonous to humans. It be a great learning to be a mother moment for Fluttershy. These are conflicts that are serious but not life threatening and are great in a slice of life chapters. Now for my joke nitpick: Glad the ponies started giving him more than one meal a day. In the first 5 chapters he was in Equestria Thomas got breakfast stuff happened then he went to bed without lunch or dinner. So i'm glad he got dinner this chapter. LOL thus ends my joke nitpick. Keep up the great work!
10443281
No, but I might make him sick from a common cold, like mucus. I also might make him run away after being bullied, and encounter a big, red, scary fire-breathing dragon and make his Aunt Twilight save him. And the ponies are vegetarian, because horses don’t eat meat.
Really good chapter. A few mistakes, words that need to be added or taken out, but it's a good chapter nonetheless.
Like this one
where it says she asked until gave a warm smile to her friends
The until should be taken out and put in as she.
If you'd like I can be an editor for you.
Those two brats just don’t know when to stop picking poor colts and fillies, and even new students, don’t they?
Does anyone else feel worried about Discord?
Because after his last sentence before disappearing, I can’t help but feel like in a later chapter, he’s gonna be all “Oh Fluttershy has someone else now” like what happened with Tree Hugger
It was a solar eclipse that turned Luna into Nightmare Moon.
Is this based off of another story?
10451559
Yeah, this sounds a lot like "A New Home" by "APoeticHeart".
Wow that was adorable and serves you right Diamond Tiara your reformation will be glorious. I hope you include more bonding chapters with Thomas and Luna in dreams or in the waking world. I. Look forward to your next chapters
10451559
Not really. I’m making my own story.
*Calls dentist* Hello? Yeah I'd like to book an appointment because I have a serious case of cavities from such cuteness
That was adorable though i kinda wish Thomas went to the alternate futures with Twi and Spike. I'd love to see how Thomas' big heart helped Nightmare Moon,'s Sombra's and Chrysalis' cold empty hearts fill with love and light. Although moreso with Queen Chrysalis because of her seeing her subjects as her children. I look forward to the fateful meeting of Flurry Heart and him. I would love to see Thomas becme devoted to showing Flurry Heart all the love he never got growing up to the point where he sees himself as her big, loving, and protective brother. I think it might fit well with the story writing here more than my previous idea which featured him going to alternate futures with Twi. Though I still think him meeting and filling Chrysalis' heart with love would still work as stated before: That is the fact that she sees her subjects as her children. I look forward to your next chapter
awwwww! I LOVE THIS STORY!!!!
It is the best outcome of the episode of Diamond Tiara's reformation!
Thomas is the best human ever!
Keep up the chapters!
(The stories you've made about the innocent kids are heart warming! keep it up!)
It’s sad that his date got interrupted by Blueblood... rip
Keep up the work!!
STUPID. LITTLE. SNOOTY. PRINCE. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY YOU'RE A PRINCE! BUT NOPONY AND I MEAN NOPONY RUINS A THOMAS AND SWEETIE BELLE DATE AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!😠😠 YOU STUPID A**HOLE (Blueblood not you GoebelTron) Sorry for the sudden outburst. And I rarely cuss so Blueblood really made me mad 😠
10463674
Don’t worry. I just wanted to see the look on his face when Celestia might give him a far severe punishment.
10463695
I like the way you think my dear. I dearly love it😈😈
Dawwwww
I wonder if he'll meet Sunset Shimmer
10467157
It would depend on the mirror. Will Sunset come through the mirror, or will Twilight take Thomas through the mirror, making him a pony on the other side?
10467178
I made it a different franchise.
Loved the chapter!!
Keep it up!
10469041
Thanks. Next is when Rainbow Dash takes Thomas to Cloudsdale for a tour of the weather factory and her secondary job at training with the Wonderbolts.
Love it!
Keep it up!
I can’t wait for the awesome talent show!!
Keep it up!
10458594
Is it okay if I make Thomas have a crush on Diamond Tiara instead, because I’ve been thinking about it.
10475979
I think it’s ok, make it a innocent crush though
10476239
Okay, how about some kisses on the cheek instead of the lips?
And maybe they can go for milkshakes and walk in the park most of the time.
10463674
And if it’s okay with you, I changed Thomas’s crush to Diamond Tiara.
10476841
So can you retype your original comment?