Morning came, as it did every day, with a precision beam of sunlight somehow finding a way through the minute gap in the curtains, and landing right on my eyelid. I groaned angrily, silently wishing Celestia would follow my request and push morning back just another hour, but woke nonetheless...only to find something very different this particular morning. I was naked and a little sticky, which was odd enough, but I also felt that something was...off.
I cracked open an eye and started methodically scanning the room...
Ridiculously ornate crystal ceiling: check
Framed, signed photo of Sapphire Shores in a decidedly alluring pose: check
Dresser strewn with a shirt and pair of underwear that…
Wait…
‘Those aren’t mine.’
I began to push myself up from my stomach to a kneeling position, only to be held fast by a deceptively slender obsidian arm, the mere sight of which immediately brought me to be fully alert. I followed the arm to the sleeping face of a special changeling friend of mine, at which point the previous night’s events flowed back to my mind. Despite the lingering tension from mine and Twilight’s talk, I couldn’t help but smile lovingly at Lyla’s serene expression as she rested. While I would never say so to her face -- while she was awake, anyway -- the innocent vulnerability she portrayed while she was asleep was adorable, as proven by the faint snort and wiggling of her nose as she dreamed.
“You are just too cute for words.” I whispered, reaching over and using the tip of one of my claws to brush the hair away from her eyes. Acting completely on impulse, I leaned over and placed a kiss on her bare temple, to which she responded with a murmur and a smile as I pulled away. With a brief mental comb of today’s schedule, I surmised that I could afford an extra hour or two of sleep, so I stretched my arms and wings to loosen them up before carefully laying back down beside Lyla, my left wing covering her bare back.
“You wake up far too early.” she grumbled, startling me in the process. She scooted closer to me and draped one of her own, see-through wings over me as she cracked an eye open in a half-glare. “Just because you were raised by the sun princess doesn’t mean you need to rise with her.”
I chuckled softly and shrugged. “Sorry, force of habit.” I leaned over to her again and planted a kiss on her lips, closed-mouthed to avoid morning breath, before asking, “How did you sleep?”
Lyla smiled and closed her eyes, bringing her arm around and laying her head on it. “Wonderfully, thanks to you. Your wing makes a good blanket against the cold, and whoever claims otherwise is lying.” Slowly, almost so subtly that I didn’t even notice the transition, her mouth curved into a small frown as her eyes opened to look at me, worry clear in their depths. “Please tell me the truth, Spike: did last night mean anything to you?”
I couldn’t help but frown as well, a little offended at her question. Nonetheless, I knew why she was asking: I had felt in that first kiss, clear as the moon in the night sky, the true depth of her feelings for me. I had thought she would have felt the same from me, but it appeared I was mistaken in that assumption. So, I simply reached over and took her hand in mine, pulling her a little closer with my wing as I stared directly into her eyes.
“Lyla, I’ve always felt close to you, and I won’t lie about that.” I answered truthfully, then grinned at the next thought that came to mind. “Honestly though, I never really thought about you that way until last night. I kinda…” at this, I nervously scratched my cheek with a sheepish grin, “...I kinda always thought you were bent towards mares. Now,” I interrupted her as her mouth opened to retort, placating her with a soft smile and squeeze of her hand, “that doesn’t mean that last night didn’t mean everything to me that it did to you, because it does. What I’m saying is that…” I sighed and gave her a flat look, “you’re going to laugh at me for this.”
She raised her brow at offered a mischievous smile. “No, c’mon, I wanna hear it!”
I motioned nondescriptly to the air. “Before this whole thing with Twilight, and me getting with Rarity, I had kinda given up on romance and all that stuff -- since I assumed you weren’t into guys, I kept daydreaming about how nice it would be if I could find someone like you to be with.” I felt blood beginning to congregate in my cheeks, and I turned my face away as I continued to explain. “I mean, you’re a loyal friend, you’re smart, witty, and yeah, I’m not supposed to say it because it’s rude and all that, but you have a great body.” Again, I shrugged, as I couldn’t really think of any other motion to do that would fit how I felt at the moment. “We’ve been through a fair bit together -- you’re one of my closest friends out of dozens of ponies I know by name, and you’re one of the few that I know will give me an unbiased opinion of whatever I ask of you.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Lyla asked, hugging me closer with her arm wrapped around me. “Even if I weren’t into you -- which, I’m pretty sure you know otherwise, now -- I would still want to know how my friend feels about me.”
I shook my head and let out a deep sigh, clutching the pillow in my claws and resting my chin on it. “Ponies and dragons aren’t the same as changelings, Lye.” I answered glumly, waving my hand towards the door. “What’s happened with Twilight is pretty much the exact thing I was afraid was going to happen if I told her how I felt, which is why I kept quiet about you too. I know that changelings think differently than the rest of us when it comes to emotional stuff, but the fears I have are based off of the way I was raised, so it has no bearing on you specifically.” I glanced over to Lyla at that point, trying to convey to her just how much she meant to me as I whispered, “Twilight and I are gonna live a long, long time, so my friends are really important to me. The experiences and memories I share with all of you are going to stick with me, even after you’re all gone. The last thing I want is to look back on my time with all of you and have regrets because of a stupid decision I made.”
Lyla stared at me for a few moments before nodding understandingly. “I guess I can understand that; I’m afraid of things too. I guess it’s a good thing that you have a friend that’s willing to make the first move, then.” She smirked and traced her fingers over my spine, the digits dancing playfully between the joints of my wings. “It’s nice to hear that you’re still afraid of things, once in awhile.”
I snorted and rolled my eyes, trying to ignore the warm tingles caused by her fingers. “Are you kidding me? I’m scared of a lot of things. Even when I go out and drive hydras or timberwolves away from Ponyville, most times I’m standing there afterwards thanking the sun, moon and stars that they ran instead of fighting.”
Lyla rolled her own eyes and shook her head at me. “Spike, I’ve seen you spar with Rainbow Dash and the local guard, and you’re not too shabby. True you’re not gonna be beating a hydra into the ground anytime soon, but those scales of yours are strong enough to protect you. Besides,” she raised her brow at me again, “you think I win all my fights because I’m stronger than who I’m fighting? Any true soldier knows that preparedness, the lay of the land, and the illusion of power is just as important as ability and skill. Most of my battles were over before they ever truly began, because I struck hard, I struck fast, and I was able to put into the mind of my opponents that it would be smarter for them to run than to fight. Across the entire world, dragons are revered or feared by everyone, so you’ve got a lot of pull simply because of what you are. Stars, most of Ponyville sees you as a real-life superhero, who chases off the baddies and gets the girl...well, girls.”
“Good thing they don’t know I’m practically shaking in my scales whenever I have to chase away a pack of timberwolves, or convince a rival dragon to find another place to roost.” I countered with a frown. “I don’t like ponies making me out to be something that I’m not, especially since most of the ones around here have known me since I was knee-high.”
Lyla nudged me with her knuckles, and leaned over to touch her nose to mine affectionately. “Hey, don’t worry about that. Your close friends all know who you really are, and that’s all that matters.”
There was a simple sort of wisdom in Lyla’s words, and even though I’d heard the same words from all of my other friends at least once, it seemed more meaningful coming from a changeling, since Lyla’s kind were still often judged on what they were, instead of who they were.
I nodded understandingly to Lyla, and returned the little nose-bump with a smile. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” With a glance at my bedside clock, I sighed and retracted my wing. “Well, it’s still kinda early, but I gotta be there for Applejack this morning,” I then glanced down at the sheets we were laying on, my nose scrunching in the process, “and I think we should wash ourselves and this bedding.”
Lyla frowned briefly, turning her eyes down to her blanketed lower half. “...this is one of those pony-things, isn’t it?”
I shrugged, pushing myself up from the bed, and trying not to cringe at the fact that the soiled sheets started to follow me. “Well, it’s rude to be around other ponies if you stink, and the smell of sexual pheromones is pretty hard to miss.”
Lyla stood with me, pulling herself away from the bed and frowning down at her rather messy skin. “Hmm...that is kinda strange. I mean, I know you told me a long time ago that ponies wash every day, but I never really thought about why, beyond cleanliness. Changelings actually use pheromones for most of our communication between each other, so while we strive to keep things sanitary, we don’t make it a point to overpower our natural scents.”
I raised my brow at her words, then on a whim, leaned over and took a long sniff of her before pulling back and shrugging. “I don’t know if it has something to do with different biology or something, but you don’t really have all that strong of a smell, at least to me; I haven’t heard any of our friends complain about you stinking either, so I think only changelings pick up on the pheromones of other changelings. Still,” I motioned to the mess that was clear on our naked bodies, “I can smell myself all over you, and so would any pony, so you’re showering.”
I turned away and gathered our clothes and my bedding into a wad as Lyla grabbed towels out of my closet for us. Pulling on a pair of shorts to cover myself, I grabbed the dirty laundry and pushed open my door, sticking my head out and looking from side to side before stepping out into the hallway, Lyla following. She made her way toward the washroom as I closed the door behind us, only for me to notice a slip of parchment taped to the back of my door. I pulled it off of the door, already knowing who it was from and what it was likely to say:
“Spike,
We need to talk.
-Twilight”
I stared at the note for a few moments, surprised that it was so short and to the point, as well as halfway annoyed that I got a note at all. I crumpled up the note and headed down the hallway, reminding myself that Twilight would have to wait; this morning, my time was going to be set aside for Applejack, and Twilight and I had spoken enough about all this, I think.
I was pleased to see that Twilight’s door was still closed when I passed it, meaning I wouldn’t need to speak with her until later, but I couldn’t deny that a part of me was still curious of just what she wanted to say to me. Nonetheless, I made my way to the utility room to start the washing, before bounding back up the stairs to join Lyla in the shower.
After a good forty-five minutes of playful washing between the two of us, Lyla left with me from the front door of the castle, the two of us dressed in clean clothes and much more put together than we were when we woke. Granted, we were walking quite a bit closer than usual to each other, and yes, our fingers were entwined, but it was otherwise a normal walk between us toward Ponyville’s Business District. We needled each other as we always did, throwing banter back and forth, before Lyla was forced to go her separate way as we came to Ponyville General.
She looked up at the hospital and gave my hand a firm squeeze before releasing it, and patting me on the shoulder. “Well, this is where I leave you. I have some things to do, and you have a friend that needs you, so I’ll see you later.”
Lyla had taught me quite a bit about changelings over the years, so instead of doing the pony-thing and giving her a kiss goodbye, I cupped her head in my hands and brought her forehead to mine as we closed our eyes and enjoyed a moment of silence as we performed the changeling version of an affectionate hug. I could hear Lyla’s wings buzzing happily behind her at the action, and I smiled as we held the moment for a bit before she pulled away and nodded to me. Without another word, we went our separate ways, and I strode through the automatic doors to the hospital.
Nurse Silver Lining -- who was one of only five male nurses in the entire hospital, mind -- was calmly organizing the front desk as another day was beginning, no doubt looking forward to trading off with whoever was going to relieve him for the day. He glanced up at me as I entered, and nodded silently before pointing to the sign-in sheet on the desk. He was a very methodical stallion that was good at his job, but tended to not speak very much, even compared to Big Mac. So, I simply made my way to the clipboard and signed my name, then waited patiently for him to lead me to the room.
…
A few minutes later, I found myself approaching Applejack’s room with Nurse Silver Lining at my side, trying my best to prepare myself for whatever was going to happen today. I could guess what Applejack was going to do today concerning Thunderlane, but he wasn’t in the waiting room with me, which meant he would probably be arriving a bit later in the morning. That might give me a little time to try and glean a bit more from my friend before he arrived, and maybe prevent her from making an impulsive decision in anger.
The two of us arrived at Applejack’s room without preamble or fanfare, and the nurse simply nodded to me before leaving me to my visit with Applejack. I watched him walk down the hallway before taking a deep breath and pushing the door open.
Applejack wasn’t awake yet, and was sleeping rather peacefully, considering the state of her. I had learned, through my own schooling and Twilight’s tutelage, that because of the way blunt force injuries healed, they always tended to look and feel worse the two or three days following the actual incident, and the state of my sleeping friend proved that. The bruises along her face were quite a bit more noticeable, as was the swelling that accompanied it, turning her robust orange fur different colors as the bruises on her skin shone through. It was a disturbing sight, to say the least, but the logical side of me knew that the fact she was sleeping, and wasn’t on life-support, was definitely a good thing. For my part, I would just need to be supportive as she healed, and schedule out a bit more time to help out around the farm until she could handle things on her own again.
That conversation could come later, though, and I wasn’t looking forward to trying to convince the stubborn mare that she wouldn’t be able to do much until the doctors gave her the okay to work in the fields again.
I moved around the bed and took my seat in one of the three chairs along the wall beside it, just in front of a large window that had the early morning light of day pouring through it. I stretched my wings out behind the chairs and took to waiting patiently for Applejack to wake, which would no doubt be the moment the light touched her eyelids; she had always had a penchant for rising and setting with the sun itself, even on days she hadn’t woken before dawn to work, so I knew that I just needed to wait, and she would wake on her own.
The rays of sunlight that were settled on her blanketed lower half slowly crawled up her body as the minutes passed, until finally, it reached her closed eyes. As I expected, she started to stir from the light, and groan a bit as she came into the waking world, though whether that was soreness from her injuries or the loss of a good dream, I didn’t know. Nonetheless, it only took a minute or two for her to fully enter the waking world, at which point she cracked open her eyes, squinting against the sunlight, and spotted me sitting in the corner.
Immediately, her face morphed into a gentle smile, and she held her good hand out to me, which I took into my own as she smiled at me. “Spike...you came.”
Her voice was barely loud enough to be called a whisper, which was a far cry from the regular for Applejack. The weakness in her words scared me more than I care to admit, but I offered her a supportive smile nonetheless, and nodded to her. “Of course; I promised you I would.” I looked the pony over again, frowning at the state of her. “You must be feeling it today, pretty hard.”
Applejack glanced down at herself, shrugging her good shoulder. “Ah guess. Medicine’s doin’ its job purdy good, but Ah’m still not feelin’ mah best. Could use a good soak in a hot bath, t’be honest.” She then turned her eyes back to me, her gaze narrowing slightly as her expression became more serious. “Ah guess ya know why Ah asked ya here today.”
I shrugged faintly, releasing her hand and sitting back against the chair. “Kinda hard to misunderstand your reasons, frankly. All I want to ask is: why? If he’s really got a phobia of being buried alive or underground, that’s not fair to hold that against Thunderlane; he can’t help it.”
Applejack’s lips pressed into a thin line as she seemingly thought to herself, then took a deep, pained breath and shook her head slightly. “It ain’t jus’ that. We been on tha rocks fer about two months now, an’ it’s just been gettin’ worse.”
I raised my brow at that; she’d never told us about issues they’d been having. Sure, it wasn’t really any of my business, but I didn’t take Applejack as the type of mare that would fake her way through a relationship. “Care to elaborate? You two seemed pretty happy together, to me.”
Applejack pursed her lips and rolled her eyes to the ceiling. “Yeah...Ah guess we were, for awhile. Thing is, he’s been gettin’ really upset about how much time Ah been spendin’ on the farm lately, among other things.”
I frowned at hearing that Thunderlane was getting upset about her dedication to the farm. “I kinda figured you would have let the guy know up front that your family and farm came first, no matter who he was.”
Applejack nodded faintly at that, still looking at the ceiling. “Ah did, a buncha times, actually.” Again her eyes gravitated to me. “Past few months, he was hintin’ at us movin’ away to Canterlot or Fillydelphia one day; never actually said it, but it weren’t hard ta catch on ta what he was askin’ me. So, Ah told him Ah had ta think about it, an’ from then, things’ve just been gettin’ more strained ‘tween us.”
The thought of him trying to take Applejack away from us -- away from me -- awakened an irrational possessiveness within me that I just barely quelled by reminding myself that I didn’t own Applejack: she was my friend, but she was allowed to do whatever she wanted. I knew it was my dragon instincts kicking up in me, but I’ll admit that I couldn’t completely stamp out the feeling of wanting to protect Applejack and keep her near me, even though I knew it was wrong to think of her that way.
After a minute or so of calming myself down, I was finally able to articulate a response. “I knew there was a reason I didn’t like the guy.” The tail-end of my sentence was growled out, and I had to stop myself from smoking up the room as my fire glands started to throb.
The feeling of Applejack’s hands on my hand brought me out of my growing agitation, and I looked to see her frowning at me while shaking her head. “Don’t, Spike. Thunderlane ain’t a bad guy -- fact, he’s a durn good stallion -- but we want different things outta life. He wants ta go out into tha world and find a place ta call his own, travellin’ and havin’ adventures out in far ‘way lands, but Ah already found mah place when Ah was just a filly.” She smiled gently, squeezing my hand a little more. “It’s here, in Ponyville, with mah friends ‘n’ family. Ain’t no place else Ah’d rather be.”
A knock on the door caught our attention, and Applejack pulled her hand away as the door opened to reveal the very stallion we had been talking about. His brown eyes flicked between the two of us, a frown coming to his face, as he entered the room. Without a word, he walked toward me, grabbed one of the chairs, and dragged it to the opposite side of the bed, where he took his seat. Applejack watched him the whole way, saying nothing as he settled himself, obviously waiting for him to speak first.
“I’m sorry, Applejack.” Thunderlane nearly whispered, his head and posture drooping a bit in the process. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help when you needed me.”
Applejack’s eyes rolled to me briefly before she took a strained breath and turned her attention back to her coltfriend. “...Ah don’t blame ya, sugarcube.” Thunderlane’s head shot up at her words, and I could see a smile crossing her lips as she continued. “If y’all really got one’a them phobias, Ah can’t hold that against ya: ya didn’t ask fer it, and ain’t much ya can do about it, from what Ah’ve heard Twi say.”
Thunderlane’s lips slowly curled into a smile as he said, “I thought you said you didn’t listen to Twilight when she was doing her lectures.”
Applejack rolled her eyes in an exaggerated manner, but held the smile. “Throw enough nails at a barn ‘n’ some’a them’ll stick, even if ya don’t mean fer ‘em to.”
Thunderlane let out a long breath and relaxed a bit at her words. “Phew, I thought you were gonna be really mad at me.”
Applejack stared at him for a long few moments before reaching her good hand over her chest, which he reached for and took without hesitation. She smiled at him, just looking into his eyes before she finally answered, “Naw, Ah ain’t mad atcha. Ah was at first,” she then glanced to me briefly before turning her full attention back to Thunderlane, “but a friend helped me see it ain’t fair t’be mad at somepony fer bein’ who they are. ‘sides, y’all fetched tha med team that brought me in, so Ah think ya did all y’all could do in that situation.”
Thunderlane noticed Applejack suddenly go very quiet, and he prompted her with the words I knew she was thinking, but was apparently afraid to say aloud: “But…”
Applejack let out a long sigh, closing her eyes and breathing through her nose, likely in an effort to calm herself and keep from breaking down. “Hun...Ah know y’all want me ta travel with ya.”
Thunderlane looked momentarily caught off-guard, but quickly composed himself and answered, “Well yeah, when you’re ready.”
Applejack’s eyes opened again, focusing intently on him. “...Ah don’t think Ah’m ever gonna be ready fer that, sugarcube.”
Those few words of hers had a noticeable effect on Thunderlane, his face and body language the look of a person whose heart was breaking. I knew things were about to get really heavy in the room, so with a brush of my hand along Applejack’s arm to get her brief attention, I pointed to the door before walking out of the room, closing the door behind me.
The talk between the two was taking longer than I had thought it would, so during my wait, I had gone to the hospital cafeteria to get some breakfast before heading back to the room and waiting patiently. They had been talking for the better part of an hour by this time, but I knew that whatever was being said wasn’t for my ears to hear, so I just kept quiet and stood outside until I was needed.
I didn’t have to wait too long for the door to open again, Thunderlane exiting with a noticeably melancholy look on his face. There were clear tear-tracks along his cheeks, even as he wiped them furiously in an attempt to appear as if he hadn’t just been crying.
Thunderlane sniffed his nose twice before looking over to me, a far more serious expression crossing his features. His body turned to me, obviously tense, and he only looked at me for a moment before he spoke. “Spike...I know we’ve never really gotten along all that well, but…” he swallowed hard at that point, I would guess to keep his voice from cracking, “...can you promise me you’ll look out for her when I’m gone?”
I shrugged faintly, trying my best to appear nonchalant. “Well yeah, but I hope you don’t take it the wrong way when I say that I’m not doing it for you.” I looked to the door, able to mentally picture the mare that lay in the bed beyond it. “She’s family, and I’ll always look out for her, for better or worse.”
“...thank you.” Thunderlane replied, his voice only followed by retreating hoofsteps down the hallway as he left the hospital. I turned my head and watched him go, feeling somewhere between ill and relieved, though I wasn’t sure of the reason for either of said feelings. All I knew was that I was moderately happy that things had gone a whole lot better than I had mentally prepared myself for, but as the tension that had been held in my body started to melt away, it only left a faint feeling of exhaustion within me as I pushed on the door, entering Applejack’s room once more.
The head of her bed was tilted up this time, allowing her to sit comfortable at a relaxed incline as she looked out the window at the sunny autumn day the weather team had brought us. With her posture and subtle body language, she was the very picture of introspection, but the periodic sniffles that she elicited made it clear that she was likely as hurt as Thunderlane had been, if not more.
“Ah did tha right thing, Spike.” she spoke aloud, without turning her head to me. “Ah know Ah did -- fer both of us. Ah talked to ‘im, asked ‘im if this was just some passin’ fancy or if him travellin’ was his dream, just to be sure, and Ah had ta make a decision offa that.” She then shook her head almost unnoticeably before turning to look at me. Her eyes were rimmed red from crying, and the faint tremors in her facial muscles told me she was fighting to keep herself composed. “...so why does it hurt so much? Why does doin’ tha right thing hurt so dang much?”
Applejack sniffled again, but didn’t break down into sobs like I would have expected most of the rest of my friends to do -- minus Rainbow Dash, of course. However, I still couldn’t stop myself from quickly making my way to her good side and leaning in to give her a firm hug. Even if she didn’t show it on the outside, I knew that she needed me now more than ever to assure her that someone was there to offer support. Applejack was a strong mare -- I would be one of the first to say so, in fact -- but I knew that even the strongest of us needed someone to lean on from time to time, even if no words were spoken.
So, for the next hour or so, I just held Applejack as close as I could, letting her know that I would support her no matter what.
By about 10:00, Granny Smith and Applebloom arrived to visit with Applejack, so I said my goodbyes and went on my way. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to stick around, but regardless of what was going on with Applejack, I still had work to do. The value of schedules had been drilled into me from an early age, so I knew that I couldn’t put off work just because I wanted to spend time with a friend. Applejack and the two others of her family in the room had understood my reasons for leaving, so I didn’t feel too bad about leaving the hospital.
First, I swung by the town hall to fetch whatever was in our inbox for the day, then I headed to Sweet Apple Acres to briefly discuss some budgeting with Big Mac, to be sure their tax rates for land and produce hadn’t suddenly risen within the last few months as a result of Canterlot bureaucracy; unfortunately, the latter happened more than I’d like to admit, and not always maliciously. From there, I traipsed across town to the local guard department, and set up a meeting between Twilight and the acting superior.
After my royalty-related errands were finished, the remainder of my day was spent on the more mundane side of things, though they were just as important, in my opinion. These errands were comprised of things like: grocery shopping, meeting up with a few of the more prominent members of society, chatting up a few pretty mares, simply for the fun of it (don’t judge me), and swinging back around Sweet Apple Acres to help Big Mac with some of the chores he had in preparation for winter.
Yes, I’ll admit, I was intentionally putting off heading home.
The truth is, I hadn’t really organized my thoughts yet. Twilight would want to speak with me for whatever reason -- though I was moderately sure I knew where the subject lay -- and, to put it simply, I wasn’t entirely sure us talking was going to do anything to help; Twilight had made it quite clear what her stance on the matter of “her and I” was. I would be able to handle it if Twilight simply didn’t want to be with me -- regardless of the reason -- but the problem with the whole thing was that she seemed to want all the closeness of a romantic relationship, but without physical intimacy or kisses...which, in the grand scheme of things, doesn’t really change a whole lot in a relationship unless you want it to.
A kiss was just a kiss, after all; instead, it was the person I kissed and the feeling behind the act that made it special. At the base level, a kiss was just two ponies mashing their faces into each other: a kiss only mattered as much as we wanted it to, and only complicated relationships that didn’t have a strong foundation. The truth of the matter was that even before Rarity opened my eyes to things, Twilight and I had been about as close as two ponies -- or a pony and dragon, in our case -- could be. While we never touched our lips together or engaged in actions of a more intimate manner, Twilight and I never felt uncomfortable sleeping in the same room or even the same bed. We hugged and smiled together, held hands, and routinely used “the L word” with each other. Anyone who didn’t know us would assume we already were an item, but for some reason, Twilight was adamant that if we were together “like that”, things would be different enough for something horrible to go wrong.
And because I was part of the “problem”, it was unlikely I would be able to convince her that she was just being a silly filly.
“Spikey-wikey, dear!.”
The familiar, cultured voice of fashion brought a smile to my face, even in my deep thoughts. As I rounded the tree that was currently obstructing my vision, I saw Rarity sitting outside of a sidewalk cafe, sipping what I assumed was a cup of tea. She was dressed in a functional-yet-fashionable ensemble of a soft blue dress and hoofshoes, with a certain fire-ruby necklace clasped around her neck. The sight alone caused my smile to widen, and I couldn’t help but put a bit of a bounce in my step as I made my way over to her.
I leaned down and took her hand, offering a soft kiss to it before taking the seat across from her and setting my satchel down beside me. “Hey Rares. You okay today?”
Her eyes brightened at my greeting, and nodded to me. “I’m doing fabulously, darling; thank you for asking.” After giving me a moment to settle myself, she broached the obvious subject on her mind: “How was Applejack this morning?”
I let out a loud sigh and slumped in the chair, rubbing my hand over the semi-soft spines of my head. “All right, I guess. She broke up with Thunderlane, but she seemed pretty down about it. I don’t think she really wanted to, but she felt like she didn’t have much of a choice.”
Rarity’s brow rose at my statement. “What do you mean?”
I shook my head solemnly. “It’s not really my place to say. Ask Applejack when you visit her.”
She nodded slowly with a soft smile. “Very well, I’ll do that. Well, on the more juicy side of things: Lyla looked to be positively glowing this morning.”
The mention of Lyla, and her demeanor this morning caused a spike of panic to rise within me, so, like a fool, I tried to play it off like it was nothing...though I’m sure I was trembling a bit. “...I don’t know what you mean.”
Rarity’s smile became decidedly shark-like. “Oh, don’t avoid the subject, darling; what of you and Lyla?”
I felt a bit of heat start to crawl up to my face as I struggled to compose a proper answer. “W-well, I...um…” After a few moments of me gaping like a fish from trying to formulate a more elegant response, I blurted out, “I’m sorry.”
Rarity’s hand froze in the middle of bringing her tea in for a sip, and her lips curved into a slight frown. “What are you apologizing for, Spike?”
My nerves began to get the better of me, and I found myself tugging at the collar of my button-down shirt in an effort to get some more airflow to my suddenly-boiling body. “W-well I, er...what I mean to say is...well…” Again my words failed me, and I found myself slamming my head down on the table in frustration, mumbling out a response and cringing.
“I’m sorry dear, what was that?”
I took a deep breath and looked up to meet Rarity’s deep sapphire eyes. “We slept together.”
Rarity’s brows climbed up her forehead as she innocently replied, “You shared a bed with her? Well of course -- you’re far too polite to let a lady sleep on the floor.”
Now, if I were thinking clearly, I would easily pick up on the fact that Rarity was messing with me, but in the state I was in at that time, all I could do was become a little frustrated that I had to “dumb things down”.
My face showed zero amusement at her words as I bluntly clarified: “We bucked...vigorously; several times.” Before I could even think of what I was doing, the reflex caused by my own stupidity caused my palm to meet my face as I groaned in mortification of what I’d just said. I had let my frustration get the best of me, and once again let my mouth speak before my brain could think. Unwilling to face the perceived wrath of the mare in front of me -- and halfway expecting her to resolutely state that we were “through” -- I kept my face covered and slowly lowered to the table until my forehead rested against it. From there, I silently berated myself for letting my mouth get me in trouble, again.
“Well,” Rarity began, her tone even and neutral, “I suppose I have a few things to ask, then:” she went silent, and the suspense built, until… “is it true what they say about changelings?”
Though she couldn’t see it, I frowned in confusion. “Is what true?”
“Do changelings not have nipples?”
I raised my head slightly, also raising one brow high as bewilderment overcame me. “...what?”
“And do they have tentacles ‘down there’, or is everything more mundane?” she asked, a finger finding its way to her chin. “Shamefully, I’ve often found myself wondering just how versatile a changeling would be in the bedroom, but...well, you know my rule.” Rarity leaned closer to me, locking her eyes on my own. “I’ve also heard that both male and female changelings can ‘accommodate’ any size lover quite snugly, as well.”
Can’t brain...think is broken.
As I struggled to put my thoughts in order -- as well as decide which issue needed to be addressed first -- I could only stare blankly at Rarity with what was likely a very amusing expression. I know this because Rarity had her hand held over her mouth, shoulders shaking with repressed laughter and eyes sparkling with mirth. I had no doubt that, had we not been in public, she would be doubled over in laughter.
As it was, she was still unable to completely stifle a silly snort, which made me laugh a bit despite myself. The reaction helped to dissolve the tension I felt, which brought me back to a coherent state, at which point I could only respond with, “What kind of smutty magazines do you read?”
Rarity’s eyes widened at my comment, and a fierce blush lit up her face as she retorted, “They aren’t magazines...they’re novels.”
“I like how that’s the only thing you refuted, there.” I countered, a grin crawling across my face. Internally, I was smiling as well. Rarity always had a way of loosening me up when things were really getting to me, and I’m pretty sure I’d actually verbally thanked her for it a few times.
A few audible giggles came from Rarity before she settled down and just smiled lovingly at me. “Do you feel better now, darling?”
I nodded with a deep breath, though I was still a little confused. “Yeah, but I still have a question: why aren’t you screaming at me in anger?”
Rarity flipped her masterfully-styled mane and rolled her eyes at me. “Do you remember nothing that I told you, Spikey? I told you that I don’t mind if you desire others, so long as they treat you well and I approve of them. And, as you know, I would only have your best interests at heart: I wouldn’t disapprove of another you were interested in because of something petty. However…” her expression suddenly darkened, and the sky itself seemed to darken as well, “...should anypony willingly cause you or our friends suffering, there is not a place they can hide, nor any distance they can run to escape my wrath.” Rarity held the fierce, predatory expression for a moment before she immediately brightened, smiling at me with that same, loving smile as before. “Could you pass that message along for me?”
“...n-no problem, Rares.” I muttered nervously, forcing a smile.
Though her lips didn’t move, her smile seemed to become warmer, somehow. “Marvelous, darling. Now,” she lifted the remainder of her tea to her lips, and took a long sip to drain the rest before lowering the cup back to the saucer, “about Lyla; first things first: do you love her?”
I didn’t even have to think about my answer. “Yes.”
One of Rarity’s eyebrows climbed up her forehead, and she regarded me curiously for a few moments before she spoke. “My my, that was a rather resolute answer.”
“You taught me that I shouldn’t be afraid of what my heart feels.” I answered, then frowned as I found myself looking at the table. “I forgot that for awhile, but I’m not going to screw up with Lyla.”
Rarity’s hand reached across the table to settle on my own, and I looked up to see her smiling gently. “That’s good, Spike. That resolve will make solving issues between the two of you much easier.” She then released me and sat back in her chair, composing herself with a ladylike air even as she relaxed. “I would like to get to know her a bit better at some point; I am ashamed to say that I am not nearly as acquainted with our resident changeling as I would like to be, and I wish to rectify that.”
I shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know everything about her either, but one thing I do know for sure about Lyla is that she isn’t shy about her life: if you want to know anything, just ask and she’ll tell you. Changelings aren’t as secretive as ponies, so you tend to get a lot more if you just ask.”
Rarity’s eyes rolled skyward and she placed a finger on her lips as she thought quietly for a moment. Then, suddenly, she asked, “What does she do for a living?”
I opened my mouth to respond...only to look like an idiot when I realized I didn’t have an answer. What did Lyla do? She had a house of her own and, though she didn’t have the same fashion preferences as Rarity, Lyla made enough money to buy plenty of her own clothes -- which usually consisted of what was commonly known as “athletic wear”. Clearly she had a plentiful source of income that was stable enough for her to live quite comfortably, but I had never thought to even ask where it all came from. It didn’t really matter in the end, but it was weird to think that I didn’t even know what she did for a job.
“I have no idea.” I concluded aloud, after a few moments of silent thought. After trying to stare a hole in the table for a few more silent moments, I leaned back in my chair and brought my eyes to Rarity’s, shrugging. “Never thought to ask, really.”
“Hmm,” Rarity hummed aloud, absently stroking her silky dress, “curious. I wonder how she pays for that lovely home of hers, and the clothes she has custom-made.”
I raised a brow at that. “Custom-made clothes? What do you mean?”
Rarity’s expression resolved into a smirk at my words. “Take it from a clothing designer, dear: those clothes were, quite literally, made for her. The way they drape over her form and hug her close in all the right ways confirms that they were created specifically for her body, much like how all my favorite works were cut and measured to fit a specific body, for a specific mare or stallion.”
I brought my hand to my chin and rubbed thoughtfully. “Hmm...I never really noticed. I might have more of an eye for fashion than most guys, but compared to you, I’m still just a novice.” I shrugged, sitting back in my chair once again. “Well, I know that she turned down the offer of a royal stipend from Twilight, so she’s getting her cash from somewhere else.” I glanced at the sky, noting the sun’s position, before shrugging. “Well, I guess I’ll ask her the next time I see her. Anyway, I have to get home.”
When I brought my eyes back to Rarity, she was frowning at me. “What was that just now, Spike?”
I raised my brow to her, her flat tone making me nervous, for some reason. “What was what?”
She pointed at my face. “When you mentioned going home, your expression dropped to what I can only describe as morose, which in turn leads me to believe there is something -- or somepony -- at home that you want to avoid.” I looked away, a little ashamed that she was able to read me so easily, but her firm call of, “Spike,” forced me to bring my attention back to her and explain what had happened the past few days.
It didn’t take long, thankfully, but by the end of it, Rarity’s eyes held both sympathy and frustration, likely on my behalf. While not the Element of Kindness, Rarity had always been very empathetic, which helped her better relate to those she cared for.
“That is...quite the situation, Spike.” she spoke after a lengthy silence spent in thought. She brought her tail up onto her lap and petted it, a gesture I came to recognize as a clear indicator that she was worried about something. “...are you going to tell her about you and Lyla?”
I shrugged nonchalantly, trying my best to act like I didn’t really care. “I don’t think that’s any of her business, do you? I think she’s made it pretty clear that she’s not interested in becoming a part of my life that way, and thus, she doesn’t have any right to information pertaining to it.”
“Spike, don’t be needlessly spiteful; you’re better than that.” Rarity shot back, her frown deepening.
A part of me wanted to be a jerk about the whole thing -- it kinda felt like, with everything she was putting me through, Twilight kind of deserved it -- but I just wasn’t that kind of dragon, when it came right down to it. For better or worse, I had a kind heart, and I would never be mean to anyone without reason. Because of that, I could only let out a big sigh in response to Rarity’s mild chastising. “I’m sorry, Rarity. The truth is, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about all this with Twilight.” I held her gaze as I continued, reaching across the table to take hold of her hand. “With you, it was so easy. I mean, besides the fact I’ve been chasing you for years, when things actually played out with you and I and we admitted our feelings for each other, it just fell into place. And with Lyla, since we met, we’ve always been there for each other. Because I figured she didn’t care for stallions, I always just cut my feelings for her off, telling myself they would never happen and I should just get used to that fact, but when she kissed me and I felt how she felt about me, it was like a dam being broken down, and…” I shrugged helplessly, “well, things just kinda went from there.”
Rarity nodded understandingly, holding my hand and my gaze for a long few seconds before she answered with a simple, “You and Twilight need to have a long talk.”
I let out a long sigh at the suggestion. “We’ve talked about this all we can, and it hasn’t helped.”
Rarity shook her head this time, frowning at me, for once. “She has spoken plenty Spike, but when did you get a say in things? From what you’ve told me, your ‘talks’ have been either you answering her questions, or her talking to you; perhaps it’s time that you have your own turn to get things off your chest, regarding the two of you.”
I thought about what Rarity was saying for a moment or two, only to realise she was right. The problem was… ”I’m not sure what to say, though. I just know that it bugs me that Twilight basically wants the hugs, support, and occasional bed-sharing that comes with being together with somepony, but she doesn’t want to actually commit, because that would ruin everything, apparently. To be honest, the whole thing’s just making me mad: she reminds me of somepony that lives on the beach without ever actually touching the water, but then wonders why they were in the damage path of a tidal wave.”
“Well,” Rarity began after a moment’s thought, “maybe you should just tell her what you just told me. At the very least, it seems like a good place to start; it adequately explains what you’re feeling, at the very least.” She released my hand and sat back in her chair, her posture dignified and authoritative. “Sometimes, to get through to those we care for, we have to remind them that they aren’t the only ones affected.”
It was an idea, at least -- not the best, but I didn’t have one of my own, so it would have to do. I would have to give it a try and hope for the best, I supposed. Standing, I made my way around the table and leaned down to give Rarity a chaste kiss on the cheek and thanked her appreciatively before gathering my burdens and setting off toward home. Regardless of what happened after tonight, I knew that I would have Rarity’s support and advice to help me through it.
It was completely quiet when I arrived home, which made sense because of the fact that Twilight’s workday was still in progress, while mine was over. With that in mind, I put my groceries away and made my way towards our apartments, noticing that the door to Twilight’s study was cracked open, and the scratching of quill against paper could be heard. I pushed through and set the stack of papers on Twilight’s desk, her mumbling a “thanks” to me, but not looking up from her work. Her response wasn’t exactly uncommon, as when she was focused on her work, she tended to block everything else out. In the past, I’d had to force her to eat so she wouldn’t starve.
After that, I made my way to the bathroom to give myself a quick rinse to refresh myself from the day, followed by me lounging in a loveseat in the common room with a book in hand. Seeing as how I had nothing else to do for the next few hours, I resolved to relax and try to mentally prepare myself for the “talk” that Twilight wanted to have with me.
Much to my annoyance, I had only just opened the book when I heard the telltale sound of hooves upon crystal stairs, the noise getting progressively louder as they approached the common room. A few moments later, Twilight appeared around the corner, stretching her arms and wings high above her head as she walked to the plush chair across from me. Without a word, she flopped onto said chair with a grunt, her face buried in the armrest.
I closed the book and set it aside, swinging my legs over the edge of the loveseat and curling my tail off to the side. “So,” I began, thinking it prudent that we get things over with as soon as possible, “you wanted to talk.”
“I did.” she replied, not moving from her awkward position.
“What about?” I asked, though I already had a pretty good idea what the subject would be.
“Us…”
Bingo.
I let out a long, tired sigh as I settled my face into my hands. “I think we’ve done enough talking about ‘us’, and your stance on the matter is pretty clear to me.”
Twilight rolled over to sit properly, fumbling with her large wings for a few awkward seconds before she settled herself to stare at me with a frown. “Spike, you don’t understand-”
“You love me, like ‘that’, but you’re so afraid that you’ll ruin our relationship that you’re unwilling to take that leap.” I summarized, my lips twisting in a half-frown of my own. “Also, even with that being the fact, you still want the hugs and cuddles that you would get with your special somepony, and you want me to comfort and support you like always.” I snorted, a small flame shooting out between my teeth as I began to get frustrated. “You’re not the only one involved in this whole thing, Twilight; your indecisiveness hurts, and I’m sick of it. If you just didn’t like me, I could take that: I would be a little put out from the rejection, but I could handle it because I knew I never had a chance, but you keep telling me how much you care about me and the fact that you love me more than Celestia loves cake.” The frustration bled away after that statement, and all that was left was smoldering annoyance. “Twilight, do you realize that the only two things we don’t do already is kiss and stare into each other’s eyes lovingly? Seriously, everything else that couples participate in, we already do; we even argue like a couple!”
“I told you: I’m afraid!”
“Of what?” I asked, purposefully keeping my voice flat. “Twilight, of all the ponies in the world -- even Celestia and Rarity -- you’re the one I’m closest to. We grew up together, learned together, and went through some of the most dangerous events together as well; if anything could tear us apart, it would have happened already.” I stood and stretched out my wings to relieve some of the tension, then walked to Twilight. “Do you love me?”
“Yes, but-”
“Do you want to be with me?”
“Of course, but-”
“Stand up.”
Twilight looked a little annoyed at being interrupted twice in quick succession, but did as I said, looking up at me with a half-confused, half-fearful expression. I didn’t know exactly what I was doing anymore, instead letting my heart guide me more than my head, but my mind was screaming at me that I was about to do something extremely stupid...but at the same time, it had to be done.
Or at least, that’s how I felt at the time.
I stood a mere foot away from Twilight for a moment before leaning forward and embracing her, both my arms and wings enveloping her safely and securely. I felt her wings attempt to flare purely on reflex, but after a moment, she settled herself and let out a happy sigh. Looking down at the top of her head, I asked, “Does this feel bad?” I felt more than saw her shake her head, so within the cocoon of my wings, I brought a hand up and ran it through her mane, nuzzling the top of her head affectionately. “And this?”
Despite the fact that she had been very tense moments before, I could feel Twilight practically melting at my touch as she whispered, “...no. ‘t feels good.”
Twilight was a complicated pony -- there was no getting around that -- but in some ways, she was easily-understood, as well. For example: Twilight related sensations with memories, which made her a very stimulus-oriented pony. The smell of lavender -- her favorite scent -- reminded her of her mother, and of long days spent reading at her side. The feel of silk sheets reminded her of her younger years growing up under Celestia’s wing -- sometimes literally. And, the feel of a strong hug from someone she cared about brought to mind cold days spent in front of a fireplace, a mug of hot chocolate in hand and me at her side. Because of the latter -- which, I’ll admit, was something I was purposefully using to manipulate her into a relaxed state -- it was very easy for me to coax her to do nearly anything I wanted, and I knew it. However, at the moment, I only wanted the truth from her.
“Twilight,” I whispered carefully, gently, “do you trust me?”
She moved her head from my chest, where her muzzle had been buried, to look up at me, her eyes shining with emotion. “...of course, Spike.”
“Do you believe for a moment that I’d ever leave you, for any reason?”
Twilight bit her lip, which had begun quivering slightly, and shook her head after a few moments. “...n-no, Spike. I know you better than that.”
And now, for the leap of faith…
I creeped my face forward slowly, her watching me the entire time with wide eyes, before I purposefully deviated and have her a gentle, affectionate nuzzle along her cheek. I felt her smile against my face, and as I pulled away, I made my request. “Kiss me, Twilight.”
Twilight stared at me for a moment -- only a moment -- before she pushed forward and connected us by the lips. It was feather-light, simple, and only lasted a few seconds before she pulled away with a visible blush on her face.
Slowly, a smile crept across my lips as I said, “Guess what, Twi? I feel exactly the same about you as I did ten minutes ago. Nothing has changed between us, no horrible force has come to tear us apart, and nothing unfathomably bad has happened.”
Twilight simply stared at me for a few moments, her lip beginning to quiver in what I noticed was a nervous reaction. “B-but Spike, I’m scared that I’ll mess this up. I...I can’t…” She gulped audibly, steadying herself before choking out, “I-I can’t lose you like I did the others. You’re my closest friend in the whole world, and-”
I placed a finger on her lips, offering a gentle smile to the panicking alicorn. “Twi, it’ll be okay. I know you, and you know me better than anypony else. I know neither of us can screw this up, because we care about each other too darn much, and have been through enough in life to be able to weather a little romance.”
Twilight still looked a little unsure, but was no longer on the verge of a panic attack, which was a plus in my book. She caught her bottom lip in her teeth and darted her eyes around my face before whispering out, “...c-can I kiss you again?”
I cracked a grin, moving forward to nuzzle against her again as I quietly replied, “You never need to ask, Twi.”
Slowly, with trepidation clear in her posture and expression, Twilight again connected our lips together, this time pushing deeper into me and wrapping her arms completely around my back to hug me tight. The kiss was kept simple, close-mouthed and without anything fancy, but it was still clear to me just how much Twilight was enjoying it. My hand moved to her ear, kneading it softly between my thumb and index finger, causing her to moan softly and suck in a deep breath through her nose as her eyes squeezed tightly shut.
After a few more seconds, we separated, and I gently pulled her to the seat she was sitting in before. I took my place first, and then pulled her onto my lap, again wrapping my arms and wings around her as I settled in for the night with my closest friend in the world. Now freed of most of her trepidation, she nuzzled up against my throat and jaw lovingly, curling up to be as close to me as possible.
“I love you, Spike.”
I looked down at her and smiled with love in my eyes. “I love you too, Twi.”
Nothing had changed on the whole in regards to how we showed affection to one another, save for kissing, but at the same time, this night had opened us up to something bright and beautiful with each other. We had always stood by each other’s side in life -- whether it be an assignment from Celestia on the line, or the world itself -- but now, I had proven to Twilight that the courage and support we offered to each other could now be used for each other. I had no doubt that this would not be the end of Twilight’s insecurities when it came to romance -- or my own, for that matter -- but I knew that, just like everything else, we could overcome it together.
“Will you be here when I wake up?” she asked with a half-yawn, her half-lidded eyes tiredly focusing on me.
I nodded and placed a kiss on her forehead, tightening my grip around her waist. “Of course. Goodnight, my pretty purple princess pony.”
Twilight’s response was nothing more than a muted, tired giggle before her breathing slowed and evened out, confirming she had fallen asleep. I stayed awake for a bit longer, watching her sleep with a smile on my face. Talking to her about Lyla could wait for now: tonight was only about Twilight, and having the beautiful mare in my arms was a great way to end the day. Tomorrow, we would talk about what was to come and who would be there with us, but for tonight Twilight was my primary focus.
I was only able to stay awake for a few minutes before I followed my mare into the realm of dreams, where I would allow my subconscious to attempt to come up with something better than the present I found myself in.