While the winter season tends to bring feelings of peace, love, and goodwill to most, life as a whole is not without its trials, and that includes herd life.
“I understand you want to be near Spike every moment you can,” Twilight tiredly explained to a glaring changeling soldier, “but we planned this event months ago, together. Suddenly inviting a stranger to this gathering would be bad for relations with the upper classes, and you should know by now how they feel about outsiders.” Twilight motioned to me. “It took years before they would even allow Spike, and I’m still positive they only do it for my sake.”
Lyla was positively fuming, and even if one didn’t know her, it was plain to see she was just barely keeping herself under control. “You both know how traitorous those snakes up in Canterlot can be. If I remember correctly, it was a group of them that tried to get Spike banished from Equestria at the press conference held regarding the destruction of the mountain. He needs protection!”
“Hey now,” I interjected, honestly a little offended, “I may not have been raised as a soldier, but I’m able to look after myself around a bunch of prissy noble ponies.”
Lyla snorted, crossing her arms and glaring at me. “It’s not the noble ponies you have to watch out for, it’s who they employ. I know you’re smart enough to recognize that those who get on the wrong side of the upper class tend to ‘disappear’. You need someone to watch out for you while you meet with the snakes.” Twilight just stared blankly at Lyla before slowly raising her hand above her head, and pointing directly down at herself. Lyla merely rolled her eyes and said, “Preferably someone who isn’t going to be distracted by the ponies there.”
“We have personal guards that will tend to that.” Twilight immediately countered blandly.
Lyla growled in frustration. “And how well do you know them, hmm? How do you know they can be trusted?”
Twilight’s eyes narrowed at the challenge, and I could practically see a fire burning behind her eyes. “Because I grew up with them when we lived in Canterlot, and they were hand-picked by Luna herself. If she trusts them, that’s good enough for me; Luna wouldn’t pick ponies she didn’t completely trust as our personal guard detail.” Seemingly realizing how much this discussion was escalating, Twilight closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths to calm herself. “Lyla, this isn’t personal, and it’s in no way a slight against you. Honestly, I wish you could come, because I think I speak for both of us when I say we want you there with us.” At Twilight’s glance toward me, I nodded slowly. Bringing her eyes back to the changeling, Twilight flared her horn and nudged Lyla closer, so that she could wrap her up in a hug. It took a few moments, but eventually, the changeling soldier returned the embrace, even though she was practically shaking with anxiety and worry on my behalf. I stood and wrapped both girls in my arms and wings, hoping to calm the two of them down a bit.
“...’m scared. I don’t like this.” Lyla mumbled weakly, in an innocent tone of true worry. It was times like this that reminded me exactly how much the instance with the unnamed dragoness had affected her. With our gentle support and Luna’s assistance in the dream realm, it would still take quite some time for Lyla to fully recover from her fears.
“Ember will be there too, Lyla.” I gently reminded the distraught changeling. “She’s far more alert than I am, so I’ll be very well protected.”
Lyla pouted at that, huffing. “I find it mildly insulting that these Canterlot vermin feel safer around a dragon than a changeling.”
I shrugged helplessly. “You’re not alone. A lot of what they think and do makes no sense to us; living in Ponyville has given all of us a very different perspective on the world.”
“I can’t make the promise that nothing bad will happen, Lyla,” Twilight said, and I realized she was appealing to something the changeling would appreciate: honesty. Twilight reached her hand up and gently ran her fingers through Lyla’s silky hair, smiling gently at her fellow herd member. “What I can promise is that Spike will be watched by us the entire night, and if anything should happen, we will ensure he escapes immediately to safety. I’m well aware that he still has quite a large target on his back, so please believe me when I say he will be watched closer than a changeling watching her first nymph hatch. If anyone wants to get to him, they’ll have to go through an entire squad of Luna’s elite guard, Ember, and me. As cold as it sounds, if anyone could get through all that alive, they deserve to get to Spike.” As Twilight made her case, her body began to tangibly radiate with thick, almost syrupy, unfocused magical energy. Normally, Twilight kept her power under strict lock and key, due to the almost suffocating effect it had on everyone around her. However, I knew why Twilight was doing it: she was subtly reminding Lyla just who she was, and what she was able to do.
I decided not to mention that the terrible power we felt was only a tiny fraction of what the Alicorn of Magic was capable of.
Lyla sighed heavily, still clearly uneasy about the situation. “...fine. I didn’t mean it as a slight against any of you personally, I just worry.”
I leaned closer to the distraught changeling and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek, prompting her to look at me directly. I offered a reassuring smile as I advised, “I’m happy you love me enough to worry this much, but I’m well-protected. I promise, I’ll come right home tomorrow night and tell you all about the boring, prissy party.”
Lyla giggled softly, nodding her assent. “Yeah, that sounds nice. I’ll be waiting for you.” She stepped away from Twilight and I’s embrace, fixing her shirt before jerking her head toward the staircase that led to the main hall. “Anyhow, I’ve said what I needed to, and I have a commission I have to complete before Hearth’s Warming in four days -- Roseluck is having me build them a new trio of mini-apiaries for their garden.”
I lifted my chin to signal my approval. “Nice. I’ll let you get to it, then.” I smoothed my palm against Lyla’s cheek before letting her go, and she swiftly left the private quarters of the castle, and I heard the front door open and close a few moments later.
Twilight let out a long sigh as she rubbed her temples. “I really wish we could help her get over this debilitating fear she seems to have of leaving your side for any length of time.”
I casually wrapped my arm around Twilight’s shoulders, giving her body a gentle squeeze. “Yeah, me too. She’ll get there, but it’s going to take more time.
Twilight nodded before nudging me with her shoulder. “You should head over to Rarity’s to be sure everything’s okay with your suit. We leave tomorrow, and I’m sure she’s going to want to do a fitting to be sure everything fits the way it should.”
I gave my own nod and headed toward the balcony. “Right, I’ll head out. Send a spell ping* to me if anything comes up.”
I quickly dove off of the balcony into the clear air, heading directly for the Carousel Boutique, trying my best to ignore my worries of Ember herself; apparently, the cold had gotten to my dragoness mate more than we thought, and a few days after her arrival, she came down with a devastatingly high fever and chills. From previous experience, I knew that not many pony remedies would work for her, so we kept her hydrated and rested as much as possible. Today, luckily, she had nearly fully recovered, and was simply resting to catch up on sleep and replenish her internal magic with some gems I provided. I knew she would be fine on the following day, but I was still concerned, so the fears continued to plague me.
Unfortunately, the world does not stop simply because someone I care about gets sick, so work continued, and obligations had to be met. I kept this all in mind as I landed at Rarity’s place, and walked inside after ensuring I wasn’t going to track snow inside.
Rarity met me nearly as soon as I entered, and I was roughly pushed up against the wall as she aggressively engaged me in a kiss that set my body on fire and made my mind hazy.
After a few minutes (or hours, since that’s what it felt like), Rarity pulled away with heaving breaths, resting her forehead on my chest as she greeted. “Good afternoon, darling. It’s wonderful to see you.”
I greedily sucked in air as I fought to compose myself, eventually able to imperiously announce, “I hereby decree that you will greet me every time just like that. So say I, Spike Sol.” I completed my little act with an upturned nose and gently dismissive expression. As I had come to find out in my time with Rarity, she liked to roleplay a bit when it came to more personal matters between us, and had often referred to me as her knight, or her prince. Because of that, I had once given in to the act and portrayed myself as a chivalrous knight, and she practically melted. So yeah, Rarity still liked to “play pretend,” even as an adult.
Rarity’s hands smoothed over my chest, and she released a ragged breath as she growled, “Anything you wish, my liege.”
I lowered my head and inhaled the sweet-smelling scent of her well-managed hair as I playfully nosed her scalp, and muttered, “You are truly an incredible mare, Rarity. Sometimes I think I don’t deserve you.”
Finally having composed herself to some semblance of normality, Rarity raised her eyes to look into mine, and smiled lovingly. “I choose you, so you deserve me. It doesn’t need to be more complicated than that.” She again rested her forehead on my chest as I simply held her in my arms, and for a few quiet moments, we just enjoyed the closeness and the warmth of each other’s bodies. Eventually, she again looked up to me and prodded, “So, while I quite enjoy entertaining you, I have a feeling this visit isn’t simply for pleasure.”
I gently placed a kiss on her nose before offering a wry smile. “Unfortunately, no. Twilight and I have that thing in Canterlot tomorrow, so I came by to see if you wanted to do a fitting, and how it’s all going.”
Rarity beamed at me, pulling away with my hand clasped in her own. “Well, it appears you have a secret sense about timing, because I was just preparing to fetch you from the castle; the suit is finished, and you need to try it on so I can be sure it fits correctly.”
I allowed myself to be led to Rarity’s main studio, which as usual was a mess of sketches, fabrics, and half-finished projects. In the corner of the room, however, was a dark gray lounge suit, complete with a jacket, white shirt, waistcoat, and trousers. Hung around the neck was a white ascot tie, an emblem displaying my name in Drakespeak stitched into it. To put it simply, the suit was a work of art, but I had expected nothing less from Rarity.
“Well, what do you think?” Rarity’s voice floated in from the side.
I stared dumbly at the outfit, unable to say anything more than, “Incredible.”
Rarity nudged me forward with her fingertips. “Go on then, try it on.”
I quickly gathered the clothes off of the mannequin and stepped behind the changing screen. It took practically no time at all to fully dress myself, and I was pleased with the quality of the fabric. As I stepped out from behind the screen, I worked hard to keep from chuckling at the awestruck look on Rarity’s face.
She immediately recovered and clapped with a bright smile. “Darling, you look marvelous. Now, step over here and tell me how it fits.”
I did so, and went through the motions of raising my arms, moving them back and forth, bending at the elbow, sitting, crouching, and bending over. As I rattled off my observations on how the fabric felt and any tension I felt in the garments, Rarity was taking notes in her notebook. Luckily, I was quite familiar with the questions she would ask by this point in life, so the process was quick and efficient, and within only a few minutes, I was getting dressed in my casual clothes once again. Upon stepping out, I was met with the sight of Rarity with her lip caught in her teeth as she looked over her notes.
Recognizing she was either confused or anxious about something, I asked, “Something wrong, Rares?”
She glanced up at me briefly before gesturing with a nod of her head to the notepad. “I’m simply trying to make sense of the measurements.” With another nod, this time of a decision made, she focused intently on me as she ordered, “Take off your shirt, please.”
Finding the request a bit sudden, I was momentarily hesitant before removing my collared shirt, followed by my undershirt, leaving my torso naked. Rarity then began to circle me, her sharp eyes taking in what she could see, before she brought her hands up and began feeling my arms, chest, and back, even smoothing a wandering hand over my stomach. I enjoyed the attention, but could tell by the look in Rarity’s eyes that she was doing this mostly for work, and not play.
“Have you been exercising more?”
Slightly surprised by the question, I nodded. “Um, yeah. Ember recommended I do so, since the strength of my muscles scales with my size. It seems that being physically strong has benefits no matter what, I guess.”
Rarity nodded approvingly. “And it shows. Your upper chest is larger, your back sculpted, and your arms and legs are thicker, yet you haven’t grown in height.” She then threw a sultry wink my way. “If you were aiming to become Ponyville’s local heartthrob, you are succeeding.”
As a blush worked its way to my head spines, I coughed with a goofy grin. “W-well, that wasn’t the reason for it, but it’s always nice to hear things like that from you, Rares.”
She smoothed her hands over my upper chest and collarbones, smiling lovingly. “Always, darling. While my feelings for you did not grow from something so shallow as physical attraction,” she wrapped her hands around me, pressing her body against my own as she purred, “I will admit that you have become quite the eye candy in the past few years, especially recently. I almost feel pity for the mares that never took the time to get to know you.” Rarity paused for just a moment, grinning like a shark. “Almost.”
I barked a laugh at the possessive streak she showed, however briefly. Rarity was known for her generosity, true, but she also had a jealous streak a mile long. It was an odd dichotomy for a pony like her, but in times like this, it was just adorable. Besides, I knew Rarity’s jealousy wouldn’t manifest dangerously, like mine could, so I wasn’t all that worried.
Deciding to turn on the charm, I held her firmly against me, grinning slyly. “When I’ve already got the best, why would I need to look elsewhere? I have a powerful, intelligent alicorn, a generous, beautiful unicorn, a steadfast and infinitely loving changeling, and a sultry, dangerous dragoness; what more could a guy ask for?” Rarity’s own smile diminished just a smidge, and had I not known her as well as I did, I would have missed it, but that subtle change was more telling than anything she could have said. With a raised brow, I asked, “What? What’s wrong?”
Rarity, as expected, tried to play it off. “N-nothing, dear! Everything is-”
“Rarity,” I chastised, finding it odd that, for once, I was the one catching her in the act of trying to keep something from me. The feeling of mild disappointment, coupled with frustration, must be what she felt when I did the same; I understood why she was so adamant about honesty between us, at that moment.
Her resolve cracked and eventually crumbled, with her releasing a long sigh of defeat. Her eyes focused on me once again as she admitted, “...quite a few have approached me regarding the herd, Spike. You have far more admirers than you think, it seems.”
While the mention of “admirers” was a bit surprising, what confused me more was, “Why did they approach you? Why not me directly? That’s not very forthright, if you ask me, and anyone that knows me is aware that I respect courage.”
Rarity merely stared at me for a few moments before a look of realization crossed her face. “Oh dear, that’s right, this is your first herd.” She released another sigh, this time of exasperation, before muttering, “This is exactly why I told Twilight not to leave this out of your education. Okay,” she pulled away from me, beginning to pace a bit as she explained, “what I’m referencing is a very old tradition, but as I’m sure you know, Equestrians love tradition, so it still persists even though it is, frankly, no longer needed.”
My confusion only grew, and I mentally reminded myself to ask Twilight why she had not taught me about something that was clearly a big deal. “Well, don’t leave me hanging; what are you talking about, exactly?”
“Immediately following the unification of the Three Tribes, ponies were in a state of desperate survival.” Rarity lectured, taking on a tone and sharp diction I was quite familiar with from my lessons with Twilight and Celestia. I, unfortunately, was momentarily distracted by the thought of Rarity in a schoolfilly uniform, but was able to wrench my attention back to the lesson as she continued retelling a dark moment in Equestrian history. “Much of the land was still a frozen wasteland, birth rates were low, and infant mortality was uncommonly high. Because of this, procreation was extremely important, simply to keep us from dying off, and so, that was when herds became the norm. More mares with each stallion meant more foals could be conceived to offset the low healthy birth rates. Through this, a sort of hierarchy was born within herds themselves, and while most herds nowadays are not as strict as they once were, certain traditions have never completely died off.” Clearing her throat, Rarity pointed to herself. “As the first mare that courted you, I am essentially the lead mare of your herd, and it is my job to assess each prospective member of the herd to see if I feel they would make a good fit for us.” She then pointed to me. “And, as the first -- and only -- male in the herd, you are the lead stallion, and all new members must go through me to get to you.” Rarity then blushed a bit as she added, “In days long passed, it was customary for new members to prove to the lead mare that they could properly ‘perform’ before they could even present themselves to the lead stallion, but luckily, that is one of the traditions that did not last. Regardless, any mares or stallions interested in joining the herd will speak to me before they will you, since I have the first say on the matter.”
My mouth had dropped open at some point, and a blush lit up my spines. “...h-how many have come to you?”
“Thirty in just the last few months, and all but three of them were just since your fight with the dragoness.” she explained, a sour look of distaste on her lips. “Vultures, the lot of them.”
“Why now?” I had to ask, curious as to why I was suddenly a hot topic. “This all seems very...abrupt, considering I was pretty much left alone most of the time I’ve lived here.”
Rarity shrugged her shoulders. “It’s a proven fact that a herded male is more desirable than a single one, since it shows he has something worth pursuing. Also…” she bit her lip again, this time nervously as she glanced away, “I regret to admit that having you surrounded by national heroines -- one of which is a part of the royal family -- is very intimidating for most mares, and that may have contributed to your isolation.”
I waved my hands at her half-apology. “Hey, I’m not mad or anything. You know me: I like my space to be able to do my own thing. It just...didn’t make sense.” I mulled over my next question carefully, honestly unsure if I even wanted an answer. “...do I know any of the ponies that spoke to you?”
Rarity nodded slowly. “Yes, and they are also the ones I approve of. In the spirit of privacy, however, I will not reveal names. I gave my blessing and told them to approach you if and when they are ready.”
I reached behind my head, scratching the back of my neck nervously as I admitted, “Rares, I gotta be honest, I’m not sure if I could handle having more than maybe one more mare in my herd. Already I feel like I’m not giving all of you the time and dedication you deserve.”
“Have you heard any complaints?” she asked flatly. At the shake of my head, she added, “Neither have I. Your herd is healthy, happy, and fulfilled. You are doing a good job, and we are all pleased with you and the herd you are helping to build. Do not doubt yourself, dear.”
I released a long breath, nodding. “I’ll try.” I glanced down at her again, quirking a brow high. “So, how many do I need to keep an eye out for?”
Rarity glanced away briefly before sighing. “I suppose the number isn’t exactly a breach of privacy. Of the ones I have personally met and spoken to, whom I have given the approval to approach you directly, there are six. And yes, you have personally met all of them, so you would not be meeting strangers.”
I gave a nod as thanks for the information before frowning. “Wait, so I kinda jumped over you with Ember, didn’t I?”
Rarity hesitated before giving a reluctant nod. “Technically, yes. As the lead mare and stallion of the herd, it is for both of us to decide, together, who is to be welcomed into it. You are lucky I approve of the Ember we have come to know, but yes, that could be considered a breach of trust on your part. Take care in the future, Spike.”
I felt ashamed that I had basically gone behind Rarity’s back with Ember, but it was also a heat of the moment type thing, and Rarity already assured she approved of the dragoness. Nonetheless, I would have to be sure I didn’t make a similar mistake in the future. “So how will I differentiate between those who haven’t spoken to you, and those that received the go-ahead from you?” Rarity’s horn flashed with her blue magical aura, and a small brooch dropped into my hand. It was in the shape of a Japonese mythical dragon, and its eyes were tiny sapphires. Realizing the significance of the shape and sapphires, I chuckled. “Well, that’s pretty smart. Okay, so if they’re wearing this, that means they got the green light from you.”
“Exactly.” she confirmed, running her fingers over the brooch in my hand. “We are the only ones that know what it means. The outer plating is gold, but the main body is wolfram; this means that you can tell a fake simply by breathing your flame on it, since wolfram is not a material used in decorative brooches and jewelry, due to how difficult it is to work with. However, if one were to, oh, I don’t know...have a father that knows how to purify wolfram alloys, it becomes far more malleable while retaining its hardness.”
I inclined my head with an “oh” on my lips. “That’s right, your father’s a master chemist.” I looked back down to the brooch before chuckling and turning my eyes back to Rarity. “Wait, so did you contact your father just for this?”
Rarity merely smiled sheepishly. “Magnum would do anything for his daughters. I paid him for the time and effort of course -- I’m no longer the type of pony to take advantage of someone’s love -- but I have no doubt he would have done it for free.” She then tapped the brooch again. “However, the reason why I chose wolfram is because it is essentially fireproof for our purposes, and so you can expose a fake easily. Simply because of who you are connected to, I don’t imagine many would try to deceive you, but it pays to be prepared.”
While I would like to believe the people in Ponyville were close enough friends by now not to do something like Rarity mentioned, I also knew that Ponyville had fairly recently become a popular place to visit for out-of-towners. I had already been the target of a fair number of fluttering eyelashes by ponies I didn’t recognize, as well as those that wore fashions that were clearly not styles that existed in Ponyville or Canterlot. I had to constantly remind myself that this was an inevitability for someone like me, being essentially an “exotic specimen”, but that didn’t mean I liked it.
“Let’s hope I don’t have to scare the hay out of anypony by testing that, then.” I muttered, knowing in that instant I practically invented the universe to do just that.
“Anyhow,” Rarity began, walking back to my suit and placing them back onto the mannequin, “I’ll have the final alterations finished tomorrow, and you can pick it up in the morning before you and Twilight leave for Canterlot.”
I stepped up behind her, gently wrapping my arm around her waist and pressing her back into me as I just held her lovingly for a moment. After enjoying her warmth and scent for a moment, I grumbled, “I really wish you could have come.”
Rarity reached a hand up to smooth along my cheek, lamenting, “I wish the same, darling. Unfortunately, I have prior engagements in Manehattan with Sassy and Coco, and it would be rude to suddenly call that off, since we made these plans months in advance. Know that you will be in my thoughts, though, and I will send you off with my best wishes.”
Smiling, I draped my head over her shoulder. “Then that’s good enough. I hope you have fun.”
She tittered, still stroking my face with her soft palm. “Three mares shopping in one of the most fabulous cities in Equestria?” She released a sigh of mock resignation. “I will cope...somehow.”
I couldn’t help but snort as laughter threatened to escape, but kept myself composed. “And you say you’re not overly dramatic.”
She nudged me in the ribs -- not enough to hurt, but enough to get her point across. For a few more moments we just enjoyed the time we had together before she suddenly said, “So, what’s bothering you, Spike?” At my raised eyebrow, she pointed to her stomach, where my fingers were idly tapping a beat on her midsection. “You only do that when you’re anxious or something worrisome is on your mind.”
Having learned early on in our relationship that I shouldn’t try and hide things from her -- especially when she knew something was on my mind -- I surrendered immediately. “It’s a few things actually. I feel out of the loop, for one thing, and I’m also feeling pretty bad about leaving Lyla behind.”
She slipped out of my grasp and turned to look at me directly, her sapphire eyes deep and understanding. “What do you mean by the former, Spike?”
I shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know. Applejack was talking with Lyla and Ember the other day, apparently about something she couldn’t talk to me about; the same thing happened that same night with Fluttershy, but between Lyla and Twilight. Big Mac talked to me about it earlier in the day, regarding Applejack, and how I shouldn’t expect complete honesty from anyone if I don’t do the same. I’ve made my peace with it, because he’s right, but I still don’t like the idea of being kept in the dark about something, especially when it involves me.”
Rarity raised a single manicured eyebrow as she asked, “How can you be sure it was about you?”
“Because no one will tell me anything, and both looked like they were about to have a panic attack when I walked back into the room.” I grumbled, surprised that this was still bothering me this much. “I’m not stupid, Rarity. I’m well aware of when secrets are being kept from me, even if I don’t know the details.”
As I looked back to Rarity, her face immediately caught my attention. It was a practiced, impassive mask of stoicism that she used with her upper-class clients, one that gave absolutely nothing away, and was as calm as an underground lake. Unfortunately, I was aware enough to know she only donned this “mask” around her close friends when she was hiding something, and trying desperately not to betray someone’s trust by blurting out a secret that wasn’t hers to tell.
With a frustrated sigh of defeat, I covered my face with my hands and groaned. “Right, so you know something about it, but you’ve made promises not to say anything.”
“I’m sorry, Spike.” Rarity apologized, and though I didn’t like it, I could tell she was honestly remorseful.
At that moment, however, puzzle pieces in my mind began to slowly fit together, and seemingly unrelated things began to make more sense. Slowly, I lowered my hands and stared blankly at Rarity as I went through each piece of information I had regarding Applejack and Fluttershy: both were keeping something from me, both seemed desperate to only speak with other females about it, and both had become more affectionate in the past few months. I remembered the way each of their faces would light up with happiness (albeit subdued, in Fluttershy’s case) at the sight of me, and both were keen to spend as much time with me as possible. I then compared that with the fact that Rarity clearly knew what they were holding secret, and even though she had not been around them like the others, they had come to her for some reason. Adding all that to the fact that Rarity mentioned she had “approved” a few prospective members to approach me -- only six, which was a low number out of thirty -- and I had a sudden, startling realization.
I was able to see the exact moment Rarity realized I had pieced everything together, since she dipped her head and let out a sigh of utter defeat.
“...Rares?”
“Y-yes dear?”
“...are Fluttershy and Applejack two of the prospective members?”
Rarity was biting her lip again, so hard that I was afraid she would draw blood, but eventually, she slowly nodded. With that single gesture, my legs nearly gave out, and I had to catch myself on the wall behind me to keep from actually dropping to the floor. As it was, I still slid down the wall on my own to sit while I came to terms with what I had just discovered. Even within my own mind, I couldn’t readily reconcile how I should feel with how I actually felt. I mean, two of my best friends in the world were apparently interested in me -- I certainly liked them, they were easy on the eyes, and we had built a robust friendship that could stand up to almost anything. However, at that moment, all I felt was terror, and it took time to actually realize why.
“Spike?” Rarity called, her shadow gradually falling over me as she moved to stand over me. “Dear, are you all right?”
I couldn’t break my stare with the floor as I mumbled, “...’m I okay? I mean, I should be, shouldn’t I?” I was finally able to tear my eyes away from the tiled floor, catching Rarity’s eyes with my own as I stammered, “I-I mean I should be. I just found out two more beautiful girls are interested in me. That should be great news.” I slowly let out a shuddering breath as I covered my face with my hands again. “But I can’t help but think this isn’t a good thing.”
I felt and heard as Rarity kneeled before me, placing a warm hand on my shoulder. “But why, Spike? Certainly you like-”
“OF COURSE I DO!” I shouted, causing Rarity to flinch away as I grimaced at the volume of my own voice. While I lowered the volume, all of the sudden, the words wouldn’t stop. “I mean, Applejack is amazing. She’s running pretty much the entire farm at this point in her life, and she did it all from a young age, making Sweet Apple Acres a household name across Equestria. She’s smart, and yet so modest about it, and that’s one of the things I adore about her. She’s beautiful, and loving, and kind, and so many other things that make her an amazing mare, and I suddenly find out she wants me. And then…” I gulped as I thought of the next pony, “Fluttershy is the kindest pony I’ve ever met, and her heart truly knows no bounds when it comes to love. She’s cute, and adorable, and I just want to hug her for it, but she hides this layer of steel underneath that she readily brings to bear whenever any of us are in danger. She’s no fighter, but I have no doubt she wouldn’t hesitate to stand up to an entire army of dragons for us, her fears be damned.”
I knew Rarity was a bit surprised at my language, but I didn’t care at the moment. After a few moments of quiet breathing, I ended with, “And yet, I can’t help but think that their feelings aren’t real.”
“...what?”
I couldn’t help but flinch at the accusatory tone in Rarity’s voice, but I looked up at her regardless; surprise, she was glaring at me. I shook my head and explained, “Both of them have gone through serious emotional events recently in their lives, and though Fluttershy’s wasn’t romantic, she had to lose a treasured friend to the sands of time. No matter how much I want to give them the benefit of the doubt, and enjoy it for what it is, I can’t help but worry that their desire is born from a need for comfort and support, not love.”
Rarity’s glare hardened as she let out a long, steady breath through her nose. “Spike, you should know to give them more credit than that. Both of them are adult mares that have lived long enough to think through this logically.”
“The heart isn’t logical, Rarity.” I mumbled, the words almost tasting like spoiled fruit on my tongue as I spoke them. “It doesn’t think, it just feels, and what we feel is not always what’s right. We’ve all made mistakes by letting only our feelings lead us, and I’m worried this is another one of those times, for them.” I couldn’t help the angry snort that escaped me, nor the jet of smoke that shot into the air above our heads, but neither did I care, at the moment. “If this was just some random mare that I didn’t know yet, I wouldn’t mind; I know going into it that relationships built after emotional trauma rarely last, but I wouldn’t really care, because the risk would be relatively low. But,” I narrowed my eyes at Rarity, and she had the good sense to actually take my words to heart instead of continue glaring at me, “AJ and ‘Shy are already family to me, and if our carefully-crafted friendships were destroyed because we jumped into a relationship that was born out of grief, I would never forgive myself.”
“This sounds very similar to what Twilight was going through, if I remember.” Rarity commented, half-accusingly.
Shooting a glare to the seamstress, I growled, “This isn’t the same, Rarity. Twilight was afraid that every relationship had failed because there was something wrong with her. I’m afraid of what’s happening because I worry something is wrong with their attraction, and that it was ill-conceived. There’s nothing wrong with them, but there might be something wrong with their sudden interest.”
Rarity bit her lip again as she darted her eyes around. “...s-she never actually asked for a Pinkie Promise, so I believe this is something you need to hear, Spike.” Rarity cleared her throat and leveled me with an intense, penetrating stare. “I cannot speak for Applejack, but Fluttershy has had romantic inclinations for you for quite some time. She’s never said it until recently, and I honestly don’t think she even recognized it, but the connection was there for a while. I know what a mare in love looks like, and…” she shrugged helplessly.
Well...this was certainly new information.
I swallowed hard at the stunning news. “H-how...how long?”
“Years,” Rarity answered blandly, and I could hear the annoyance in her voice. “The poor dear is quite withdrawn, as you well know, and while she has vastly improved in the time we’ve known her, she is still drawn to avoid or ignore situations that make her uncomfortable. Finding herself growing new, strange feelings for a longtime friend would be one of those things. I tried subtly bringing the subject up over the years, but she immediately dismissed any talk of it outright, and not with embarrassment. As much as I wish I could say otherwise, all evidence points to her actually being ignorant of what she felt. It is either that, or she has furiously convinced herself of the contrary for so long that she believed it.”
I released a half-relieved sigh. “Well, that’s one load off my mind; at least I know Fluttershy’s affections aren’t a result of her grief.”
“You don’t sound completely satisfied.” Rarity correctly observed.
I shook my head vigorously. “I’m not, because that still leaves AJ. As much as I wish this was something I could ignore until it blows over, she needs me. She needs my support and my help, so I can’t abandon her.” I mentally girded myself to do the best I could to ensure we all remained friends, no matter what happened, but I couldn’t claim to be at all optimistic about how things might turn out. I knew I didn’t have to worry about losing either mare’s friendship, but I was sure things would be awkward for awhile, regardless.
“At least Pinkie and Rainbow Dash haven’t shown any interest. Small mercies.” I gratefully thought.
“Would it really be so terrible to be courted by Applejack?” Rarity challenged.
I shot my eyes to her again, narrowing them at her tone. “Of course not. AJ is a wonderful mare, and any stallion would be blessed to catch her eye, but some things simply aren’t meant to be. If I reject Applejack due to the fear of her feelings being the result of grief and trying to fill a void, I know we will eventually move past it, and we’ll be friends again. But, if I give in, and give things a try, she might suddenly find she wasn’t actually interested in me at all, and I was just a crutch she could depend on in her time of need. For me, being with her would go one of two ways: either I would never fully commit, because I would always be fearing the worst outcome, or I would jump in with both feet, opening my heart, only to be told that what I felt was one-sided after all.” At Rarity’s disbelieving look, I clarified, “You see, it would be so easy to fall in love with her -- like, scarily easy. I already know pretty much everything about her, I’ve seen her at her best and her worst, and we have a foundation of friendship that’s been built strong and sturdy because of what we’ve all gone through together. She’s warm and loving, and I know I can depend on her no matter what, so believe me when I say I could easily see myself falling for AJ, and hard.” I lowered my eyes back to the floor during my explanation, quietly finishing, “I don’t know if I could take it if I gave all that, only to be told that what I felt wasn’t able to be returned, after I had invested myself in her life.”
Rarity’s soft hand again settled on my shoulder, and when I raised my eyes, I immediately met hers. She was frowning softly, no longer defensive, but still unhappy about what I was saying. “How will you know if you never try?”
I snorted at the tone she used, as if she were talking to a child; it was mildly condescending, and I didn’t like it. “I don’t have to be formally coronated as a part of the royal family to know it would turn out badly. Some waters are better left undisturbed.”
“And so instead, you would reject her, based on the chance that you may be right.” Rarity surmised, and even though she wasn’t frowning, I could tell by her tone alone that she was disappointed.
I again lowered my head in shame, muttering, “Not every love is meant to be, Rarity. I’ve learned that, and I’ve broken a lot of hearts in my journey. I’ve lost friends because I was too impulsive, too stupid, to recognize similar signs when they were there.” I gave a firm shake of my head, trying to dislodge the worry from my very mind. “Having the same thing happen between Applejack and I would destroy me, Rarity; I’m not strong enough to withstand that, and I know it.” Chuckling ruefully, I added, “You know, some of the elder dragons told me that ‘love’ was generally avoided among the smarter dragons, because it is such a great vulnerability, and the more you love, the more you have to lose. Me? I have over a dozen I can think of off the top of my head that I love, even if some are just as friends, and that’s just so many weak spots in my life that could easily be exploited.”
“Spike, darling, what are you talking about?” Rarity asked, beginning to sound a little more concerned.
I raised my eyes to look at her again and motioned for her to sit next to me. She hesitated briefly before taking a seat on my right, and I began to explain what I meant. “As part of my re-education with Ember, she’s also teaching me how the traditional dragon lives, how they act, and how they see the world. In dragon culture, much of the hierarchy and the way they interact with one another is based on strength, and the ability to protect themselves and what they value. That’s why size and power are so important, as well as why they hoard their valuables in one place.” I pointed to myself. “But me? What I value is my friends and family, and I can’t very well take all of you and lock you in a cave, even if I could keep you safe and healthy. No matter how big and strong I get, no matter how skilled of a spellcaster I become, I will never be able to protect everyone all the time. Sooner or later, one of you will get hurt -- or, Faust-forbid, killed -- and I’ll have to try and persevere through that. And then it’ll happen again, and again, and again, until I’m all that’s left. With us being such high-profile citizens and Ponyville being a veritable disaster-magnet, it’s the greatest fear I have in my entire life. Applejack getting hurt was bad enough, but I know she’ll eventually get better; next time could be far worse, and I’m well aware of just how fragile life is.”
I held Rarity’s gaze for a few moments before I spoke again, and I had to watch as tears gathered in her eyes, and her heart broke for me. “Every year, on my birthday, I’m reminded that this is all temporary for me. One day soon -- for a dragon, at least -- all of you will be gone, and I’ll be alone. I tell myself every year to live life to the fullest, to make memories that can be cherished for the rest of my life, but the fear never leaves. With that fear, I’m reminded of just how much I can screw up by making the wrong choice, or saying the wrong thing to a friend. While the rest of you will one day lay in a bed, looking back at your life fondly as you pass on, I’ll remain, knowing that with all my power, and all the longevity I possess, there is nothing I can do to slow or stop time for any of you.” Releasing a long, drawn-out sigh through my nose, I whispered, “Now do you understand? I don’t want to live the rest of my life with the regret of giving my heart to someone, only for it to be returned a short time later. I’ll have to live with the memory of knowing I wasted months or years on someone that ended up leaving; that’s time I could use for other people or other pursuits, making memories that will hopefully keep me from going insane later in life.”
Rarity’s eyes were flowing by now, and her mascara was running down her cheeks. I pulled out a handkerchief from my pocket, offering it to her. She took the cloth from me, dabbing at her cheeks and eyes before sniffling and handing the item back to me. Rarity was still on the verge of crying, but I just felt dead inside as the spiral I had fallen into held me fast.
“Darling,” Rarity began carefully, reaching her hand out to grasp mine, “Applejack is a dear friend, and a steadfast ally. She is as honest as they come, and we both know she is no fan of dishonesty, which would include leading someone on; do you truly believe she would do that to you?”
“Do you truly believe it’s impossible?” I rasped, my voice hoarse from the lump in my throat. “That’s another reason I’m reluctant: Applejack is a good pony, so she would hate herself for doing that to me. As close as we are, she might never get over her guilt -- just look at how long it’s taking for her to recover from Thunderlane.”
Rarity said nothing to refute my argument, though I couldn’t tell whether it was because she agreed or because she just couldn’t find a counterargument. Nonetheless, she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tight against her warm, soft body as she assured, “No matter what happens, know that I will be by your side, Spike. I will support you for as long as I am able.”
I was mentally exhausted at this point, so I just did my best to push my worries to the back of my mind as I held my mare close, silently wishing life could be less complicated.
I left the boutique a short while later, with the promise of a “ravishing” new suit. Rarity offered me a sympathetic smile and wave as I left, and though I still had a glaring trial to get through, I felt better knowing I had understanding people in my corner. If there was any good news, it was that Applejack and her family were getting ready for the upcoming holiday, so they would be busy preparing the food that would be delivered to the castle, so that left me time to organize my thoughts away from the mare herself; I’ll admit, I felt a bit guilty due to the fact I felt relieved I wouldn’t have to face her with the new knowledge I had, but I also knew it was important for me to have the time to settle myself and accept the situation.
The skies were clear and blue, and the pure white snow glistened in the sun like billions of tiny diamonds. It was a beautiful sight to be sure, and the cloudless sky had changed a dreary winter into a day of fun in the snow for the younger generations. I couldn’t help but smile at the sight of the colts and fillies playing in the snow, building snowponies, and making snow angels with their family and friends. Not for the first time, I felt a longing somewhere deep within for a child of my own, but I furiously pushed the thought away. Now was not the time for such thoughts, and I knew I wasn’t ready to bring new life into the world just yet; my options for a partner were limited to Ember, for biological reasons, and I knew neither of us would be able to devote the time and energy to a little one because of our obligations.
Still, it was a nice dream.
I mentally shook myself and veered toward Sugar Cube Corner, knowing I would now need an energy boost to make it through the rest of the day, since my visit with Rarity had been emotionally draining. Nonetheless, it would also give me the chance to catch up with Pinkie, since I hadn’t seen her at all in over a week, so I was looking forward to seeing the bouncy pink baker. With what I had just been through, I was quite excited to be able to talk to someone that wasn’t pining for me, and just wanted to see her friends smile.
I landed a bit heavier than I would have liked a dozen feet away from Sugar Cube Corner, and was silently thankful I was the only one to see the sloppy arrival. After brushing the snow off of my shirt and trousers, I pushed my way through the door, entering the warm interior of the bakery. Immediately, the familiar scents and sounds of Sugar Cube Corner greeted me, and I nearly immediately felt myself relaxing as a smile crawled onto my face. The restaurant was currently calm, with only three patrons in the short line, so I made my way to the rear of the queue and patiently waited for my turn. It was just my luck that Pinkie herself was currently handling the register, and the sight of her practically buzzing with excitement at the sight of me made my smile grow further.
Finally, after she finished with the mare and foal in front of me, Pinkie practically squealed with joy as she greeted, “Hi Spikey! It’s so good to see you!” She quickly rounded the counter and pulled me into a tight embrace, which I readily returned. Both of us released simultaneous sighs of happiness at the mutual warmth we experienced, and I couldn’t help it as I nosed my way into Pinkie’s fluffy, curly mane, inhaling the familiar sugary scent of the plush pink pony in my arms. I enjoyed the soft, subdued giggle that I felt in her chest, and relished the tight embrace of a mare that wanted nothing more from me than my happiness.
I took another deep breath, letting it out slowly, and felt my body completely release all the tension that had built up from the day. Pulling away slightly and using my hand to tilt her chin up so she could look at me, I quietly greeted, “Hey Pinkie. Thanks...I needed that.”
She gave a rare gentle smile, and nodded. “You looked like you needed a hug. You know I’m always here for you, Spikey.” She then pulled away and brought her ear to my stomach, nodding with hums and even an “uh huh” thrown in for good measure. She then stood and patted my stomach with her fingertips. “And your tummy needs some goodies too, it sounds like. What can I getcha?”
I gave a chuckle at her antics, allowing her to retreat behind the register again. “Well, I definitely want some hot chocolate. As far as what to eat, let me get two fresh pastries; I don’t care what they are.”
She nodded and punched the keys on the register, and pointed to the little viewport that showed the total. I fished out the proper amount of bits and handed them to her, which she took and quickly gave me my change and a receipt. With that done, she pointed to a nearby booth before handing me a steaming cup of hot chocolate, which had not been there a moment ago. Similar to many other times, I reminded myself to just accept that Pinkie would probably always be an enigma, and just took the hot drink as I took a seat in the booth. Pinkie disappeared into the kitchen for a few moments before returning with a brownie and what looked like a fritter of some sort on a plate, placing the dish in front of me as she yelled back to the kitchen that she was taking her break. Mrs. Cake pushed her way through the door and settled herself at the register a moment later, waving to Pinkie and I as the younger mare slid into the booth across from me. Then, in a move that boggled my mind, she slid under the table in either a show of flexibility or chaos magic (still not sure which), only to slide back up next to me.
I just stared at her bemusedly. “You could have just asked me to scoot over, you know.”
Pinkie just smiled innocently. “But my way was more fun!”
I could only chuckle at Pinkie’s goofy antics, and even though the day had been stressful, already, I was feeling better just by being around her. I readily accepted her warmth and the hug she gave me as I enjoyed the brownie and hot chocolate. For the next few minutes, Pinkie just kept silent and allowed her presence to do what words could not, by calming and relaxing me.
After I had practically inhaled the brownie, I just sat back for a moment and sighed, letting the last bit of tension leave my body. “Thanks, Pinkie. You’re a lifesaver.”
She placed a finger on her lower lip, turning her eyes to the ceiling as she thought aloud. “Weeell, I don’t know about that, but I know I make bellies happy!” She punctuated her statement by rubbing my stomach vigorously, giggling as I gave my own laughter from her actions.
She then just settled herself against me and laid her head on my shoulder, and I wrapped my arm around her body, hugging her tightly. “No, you make me happy. So, thank you -- thank you for being you, Pinkie.”
Pinkie looked honestly confused as she stared at me with her bright blue eyes. “Well who else would I be?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted, “but I couldn’t imagine Ponyville without you. It just wouldn’t be home.”
A soft blush crawled up Pinkie’s already-pink cheeks, and she bashfully replied, “Aw shucks, Spike. You know I’ll always be here for you.”
I smiled with her, enjoying the warmth and affection of the happy mare. Slowly, however, I found my smile diminishing as I found a longing grow within, and I felt myself say, “I really wish you could be here for Hearth’s Warming.”
Pinkie’s smile was bittersweet now. “Me too, but it’s not fair to be here every Hearth’s Warming. Last year, I spent it here, so this year, I’m spending it with my family.” She then pouted a bit. “I asked them if they could come visit me, but daddy said they couldn’t get away.” Her smile then came back full force as she assured, “But I’ll be back the next day, I promise, so promise me you’ll have lots of fun and make lots of memories to tell me about when I get back.”
While a part of me was still a bit disappointed that I wouldn’t get to spend time with Pinkie for the holiday, I would take her words to heart and make sure I enjoyed Hearth’s Warming with my friends that could be there. So, with a smile, I answered, “You bet, Pinks. Same for you. Oh, speaking of you and your family, how has Maud been?”
Pinkie brightened at the mention of her stoic sister. “Oh, she’s been great! She’s told me all about her trips around Equestria, finding new and shiny rocks, and she even promised to send me some samples as souvenirs!”
“She still with Mudbriar?” I felt compelled to ask.
Pinkie’s smile seemed to freeze on her face, but slowly, she deflated almost comically, and leaned heavily on me with a long, defeated sigh. “Yeah. And he still doesn’t like me, but I guess we’re probably never going to be friends.”
“It still bothers you, huh?” I observed with a sympathetic smile.
She nodded slowly. “Yeah, but I promised Maud I’d be nice and ‘accept him for who he is’, whatever that means.”
I shrugged. “The best I can guess is that she just wants you to be able to be with the same room as the guy without being at each other’s throats. You don’t have to like the guy, but you need to be able to fully accept that Maud does, and you have to respect that.” I tightened my hold on Pinkie as I assured, “Believe me, you’re not the only one that’s got to play nice with people you don’t like. I can’t count the number of times I had to sit in a meeting with Twilight with some jerk, and I still had to be polite. It’s just part of adult life, I suppose.”
Pinkie sighed again. “I guess. But, I mean, why can’t he be more like...I don’t know...you?”
The mere thought of Maud with someone like me made me laugh out loud. It took me a second to get myself under control to explain, “Pinkie, I don’t really like the guy either, but he’s a good match for Maud. Your sister needs someone that understands her interests and personality, and he does.” I poked Pinkie in the cheek, making her pout cutely. “You don’t have to like him -- he’s not your coltfriend, after all -- but you need to just come to terms with the fact that you and Maud are very different ponies, and you like different things. She still loves you, so you don’t have to worry about losing your sister.”
Pinkie let a breath go and snuggled against me. “Yeah, but I just wish it could just be me and her, like it used to be. Now, whenever I want to see Maud, Mudbriar is usually there too.”
I went back to eating my food with one hand while I wrapped the other arm around Pinkie. “Yeah, but he’s just a part of her life you have to accept. From what you’ve told me, and what I’ve seen, Maud has spent years catering to your life; I don’t intend to sound mean, but Maud needs to live her life the way she wants, not the way Pinkie likes.”
While I couldn’t see her eyes, I saw Pinkie’s lips curl into a pout once more, though she stayed silent. She didn’t move away, so I just continued holding her and refueled with the snacks and cocoa.
It was after a few minutes of complete silence that Pinkie eventually admitted, “...you’re right.” I stopped munching and glanced to her as she met my eyes, and she sighed as she explained, “Out on the farm, there weren’t other foals we could play with: it was just the four of us Pies. We worked together, ate together, slept together -- hay, to save water, we even bathed together. I know grown-up Pinkie is supposed to just be okay with that being the past,” she sniffled a bit, and my heart ached at the slight glassiness of her eyes, “but I miss it sometimes. Rock farm work was really hard, but me, Maud, Limestone, and Marble were really close because of it. Even when I moved away, I made sure to write every week, but we just...started to drift apart.” She snorted almost angrily, and shook her head. “And then, the next time I see Maud, it’s almost like we were fillies again. It just makes it so hard to forget about all that and move on when I still see Maud like I did when we were itty-bitty Pies a long time ago.”
I hadn’t expected such a long rant on such a seemingly simple subject, and I could only assume Pinkie had been holding it all in for a long time. I finished my second snack and wiped my mouth before fully devoting myself to Pinkie, using my now-free hand to grasp one of her own. My action again drew her eyes to mine, and I just gave her a gentle smile as I held her close. Sometimes, as I had learned, words simply didn’t give what we needed; sometimes, we just needed a hug from a good friend, and their presence. I will admit that I was not exactly averse to snuggling with Pinkie, even if it was in public, so I couldn’t honestly say the action was completely for her benefit.
Still, she enjoyed it, leaning against me heavily as she just enjoyed the contact I shared with her. Her soft, warm body and sweet scent made the situation perfectly enjoyable for me as well, so I just surrendered to her affection and let the moment play out on its own. The hand that was wrapped around her waist was slowly brushing along her hip, and though I knew similar touches would be considered halfway intimate by any other, Pinkie had never been one to shy away from affection of any kind. I couldn’t count the number of times she had practically suffocated me in her bountiful chest, gave rapid-fire kisses to my face, or casually complimented my physical attributes in ways that would, from anyone else, seem very crude. I knew she cared about me, and so did all our other friends, so we just passed all that off as Pinkie being her weird, lovable self.
Pinkie had actually been my first real kiss, from a Hearth’s Warming underneath a mistletoe many years ago, and though I knew she meant it simply as “part of the game,” I had never forgotten how it felt, and how much I liked it. In some ways, being that the incident happened in my early teens, her actions for all those years had practically catapulted me into the world of boyfriends and girlfriends, dating, and everything that entailed. There were quite a few times where Twilight had chastised Pinkie for her lack of boundaries, and not just with me. While Pinkie had learned over the years to leash herself, for lack of a better term, her life with her family as a young filly had left her with an odd take on what was acceptable among other ponies, be they friends, family, or (sometimes) complete strangers: when Pinkie wanted to show affection, her natural instinct was to give a hug or kiss. It was only after a few months of us living in Ponyville that Twilight had a formal sit-down with her and the other girls to strictly explain to Pinkie just why she got weird looks when she would do those things, and why they might not be okay with everyone.
Along with Pinkie’s lack of knowledge regarding the boundaries of others was a near-complete lack of her own. I knew that Pinkie wanted to be held, and cuddled, and all that good stuff; it was normal for her, because she had been that same way with her own family. I knew, that if I wanted to, I could kiss Pinkie on the lips with fervor, and she would be perfectly fine with it. I will admit that my selfish, “evil” impulses inside had told me that I should wholly capitalize on that, but I absolutely refused to do that to her. Of course, my impulses fought with me, whispering that you can’t molest a completely-willing subject, but I would know it was wrong, which was why I kept myself firmly in control whenever I was around her. The fact was, even though I was sure Pinkie had no romantic inclinations toward me, I knew that save for a few obvious actions (overtly sexual acts, for example), there was a lot I would be able to get away with, with her. Faust help her if I ever get corrupted by some evil wizard, or something.
“So, how's the herd doing, Spikey?”
This was an almost daily question I got from Pinkie, so I wasn’t surprised. As it was, Pinkie’s self-imposed job was to ensure all her friends were happy; so, even though my herd wasn’t in her direct control, she was still interested in knowing how everyone was doing, and if there were any problems. She was actually rather knowledgeable about herd dynamics, so I had welcomed her input.
I shrugged nonchalantly. “Everything seems to be okay. I mean, Lyla is still clingy and we got in a little bit of an argument this morning, but other than that, everything seems good.”
Pinkie removed her head from my shoulder and frowned at me. “An argument doesn’t sound good, Spikey.”
“We resolved it,” I assured the worried mare, patting her head gently. “She doesn’t like that she can’t come, and is worried something terrible is going to happen without her there. Her and Twilight got into it about my safety, we assured her I would be well-protected, and she seemed to be mostly calm by the time she left. I would have followed to make sure she was okay, but she said she had work to do, so I left to run my errands.”
Pinkie pursed her lips as she thought, eventually suggesting, “Do you want me to go make sure she’s okay tomorrow?”
Even though I hadn’t expected it, I was still grateful Pinkie was offering her time and effort to ensure our friend was going to be okay. “If and only if you have free time, yes. I have a feeling she’s not going to be happy worrying about me alone tomorrow, so I think having our favorite pink pony there to cheer her up would help a lot.”
Pinkie gave a bright smile as she gave a wild nod. “You can count on me, Spikey! I’ll turn that frowny upside-downy, and maybe we’ll have a girl’s day or something!”
The thought of Lyla, who was a huge tomcolt, doing girly things with Pinkie was too good to pass up. “I’ll tell you what: if you can convince her to spend some girly time with you, take pictures.”
At that, Pinkie’s smile turned downright mischievous as she rubbed her hands together in a perfect impression of a mad scientist. “Oh yes, we need evidence of the deed. Don’t you worry, Pinkie is on the case!” And suddenly, she pulled a deerstalker cap out of nowhere, placed a monocle in her eye, and blew bubbles out of a wooden pipe.
I laughed like an idiot at her antics, and my heart felt lighter at that moment than it had all day. If nothing else, I could always count on Pinkie to lift my spirits when I was worried, using the power of laughter to overcome whatever stress I was feeling. While I knew I would still need to address the lingering issue with Fluttershy and Applejack, I now didn’t feel nearly as much dread about it, all thanks to a certain lovable pink party pony. I wrapped my arms around her, squeezing until she squeaked like a dog toy, and laughed long and hard. After a minute, I composed myself enough to utter a quiet “thank you” to her, even though I knew, by Pinkie’s own accounts, that my laughter would be enough of a gift for her efforts.
“Pinkie!” Mr. Cake called from the kitchen, popping his head through the door as he jerked his head back toward the back room, “We just got a call for a big order tomorrow. We need your help!”
Pinkie looked to the older earth pony and nodded vigorously. “You got it, Mister Cake!” She then glanced back to me with a helpless shrug. “Well, duty calls. Don’t worry about Lyla, Spikey -- I’ll take good care of her. You just concentrate on whatever you need to do up in Canterlot, and leave Ponyville to your good friend Pinkie Pie!”
I gave her mane a playful tousle, standing to let her out of the booth. “Thanks, Pinkie. I owe you one.” I gave her one more tight embrace before she skipped toward the back room, leaving only the faint warmth of her hug behind with me. I shook my head with a much more relaxed smile, downing the rest of my hot chocolate with a gulp before tossing the paper cup and leaving the bakery.
Outside, the sky was still clear, and it was still early in the afternoon. Without anything particularly pressing to do at the moment, I shot into the air and found one of the few puffy clouds that remained in the sky today, settling down onto it to just sit and look over the town for a bit to let myself decompress. Granted, winter clouds felt a bit like cold toast as opposed to the pillow-like ones of spring or summer, but it gave me a place where I could be alone, since it was high enough to be too cold for most pegasi to feel comfortable, and it was near the edge of town. I let my legs dangle over the side as I just let my thoughts wander aimlessly. From so high above town, everything and everyone in Ponyville seemed so far away -- so insignificant. From the pegasus-eye view I had, it was easy to see why flying was considered so freeing; up here, you felt disconnected from the world below, and unfettered by the worries and trials of the ponies on the ground. In just that instant, I had a better understanding of just why Rainbow Dash spent so much time in the clouds, and I couldn’t fault her for it. My life had become progressively more complicated lately (most of it in just the past year), so I understood how addicting something like flying could be to someone who had so much to deal with in their everyday life.
Speaking of my rainbow-maned friend, I hadn’t seen much of her lately. Granted, Rainbow Dash was a busy mare, so it wasn’t exactly uncommon to not see her for a day or two, but nearly an entire week was odd, even for her. I knew that it was around this time of year that Scootaloo’s parents usually took a trip to volunteer in Vanhoover after the most recent bout of wildfires had devastated the area, so Rainbow Dash would be the one who would be watching over the younger pony while her parents were away. Still, usually Rainbow Dash would be out and about with her young charge, so we usually at least saw her in passing -- lately, however, it seemed like she had virtually disappeared from town, and no one knew where she was. We weren’t that worried, since Fluttershy had assured us that she had seen her fellow pegasus from time to time, but usually only late at night on her way home, or early in the morning as Rainbow Dash left to wherever she was going. With the holiday coming up soon, I had hoped to see her more often, but I guess she had some things to take care of, so I did my best not to worry. After all, if Rainbow Dash had been in trouble, she- well no, she wouldn’t tell us.
And suddenly, I began to worry.
“I need to find her.” I muttered to myself, pushing myself to stand on the cloud as I turned my eyes to Ponyville’s castle. “But I’m going to need help.” As I blasted off toward the castle, however, I couldn’t help but wonder why I was so worried. Rainbow Dash was a big pony, after all, and had proven she could handle her own life just fine. Of course I cared, but why was I worried? I shook my head hard, grumbling, “This doesn’t make sense, but I feel like...I just need to find her.”
At the speed I was traveling, it only took a few seconds to cross town and nearly smack into the side of the castle. I opted to bypass the main lobby, and pressed my hand to a bare wall. As the castle “recognized” me, a door appeared, and I wasted no time in bolting through it. Unfortunately, since I hadn't taken the time to work out where I was appearing in the upper levels of the castle, my bad luck was strong, and I ended up plowing into a damp Starlight.
“OW! CELESTIA DAMN IT! AGAIN?!”
The both of us tumbled to the ground heavily, and I let out an “OOF” as a soft body fell on top of me. My head was now sore, my dignity wounded, and my breath thoroughly knocked out of me, so I could only groan and wheeze for a moment before opening my eyes.
Starlight was grimacing with one eye closed, rubbing her horn tenderly. Her hair was wrapped up in a white towel, just like her body, and she looked like she was doing her best to glare a hole through my head.
“I'd always assumed you were hard-headed, but slamming your forehead into my horn isn't the way I wanted to confirm that.” she grumbled, shifting her weight on top of me.
Knowing I was in the wrong, I just smiled sheepishly. “Sorry, that was my fault.” Noticing her body towel was coming loose, and so as to avoid further embarrassment on my part, I gingerly pulled the cloth more snugly and tucked the free end in, so as to secure it better.
Realizing what I did, Starlight blushed a little and muttered a quiet “thanks” as she pushed herself to stand, offering me a hand to do the same. Once we were both better composed, she queried, “So was there a reason you were tearing through the castle like that, or did you just want to assault a helpless, naked mare?”
Doing my best to fight down my own blush, I answered, “Recent events aside, I was actually looking for you. I need your help.”
Starlight’s ears pricked up, and she focused on me for a few moments of silence. Seemingly finding what she was looking for, Starlight nodded. “Okay. Let me get dressed, and I'll meet you in the common room.”
I totally didn’t stare at the way her hips swayed with every step as she walked away.
I shook my head violently and slapped my face. “By Faust, what is wrong with me lately?”
“Hoarding instincts.”
“AAAHH!”
Contrary to what I had hoped I would do when surprised, I squealed like a filly and jumped about four feet into the air. The smirking dragoness below wasn’t helping my ego.
I opened my wings to prevent myself from falling painfully, hovering for a moment before softly touching down and shooting a glare at Ember. “We need to put a bucking bell on you or something. It’s not fair that we’re the same species, but you’re quiet as a mouse, and I’m not.”
Ember merely smiled at my comment before reiterating, “As I was saying: this is a hoarding instinct.”
I rolled my eyes at her. “I’ve overcome my hoarding instincts. If you remember, I had to trick myself just to grow.”
Ember just stared at me, unnervingly so, before she finally returned, “True, you don’t hoard material possessions like most other dragons, but no dragon is above their hoarding instincts. You can only channel it into something positive; it cannot be overcome.” She glanced down the hallway that Starlight had disappeared down. “Your hoard is special: it isn’t shiny metals, precious gems, or trinkets. Instead, you treasure your friends and family…” she then turned her head slightly, just enough for me to see her smirk, “and your mates. The desire to want more is always going to be there; all you can do is keep it under control, and be sure you channel that desire positively instead of negatively.”
I just frowned at her, not liking what she was insinuating. “Yes, Starlight is a great friend, but that doesn’t mean I have the right to ogle her like that.” Ember tilted her head slightly, her expression saying she knew something I didn’t. “What’s with the look?”
Shaking her head slowly, in the same way a mother would her ignorant child, Ember explained, “Your instincts don’t listen to what society says is right or wrong, and they aren’t going to listen to logic. You’re always going to want more, and that’s normal. As crazy as it might sound, you could hook up with every mare in this town, and you would still desire more. I told you from the beginning: you have to stop judging yourself like a pony, because you’re not one. Your instincts are going to drive you in ways that are downright strange to a pony, and you can’t help that. Your brain and heart always have the final say, but you need to keep in mind that your instincts are always going to do this. You’re not going to master your instincts by ignoring them or pushing them aside; you have to embrace them, and channel them in constructive ways.”
“You know, considering your personality, the whole ‘wise dragon lord’ thing is kinda weird.” I grumbled, huffing in annoyance. “You’re only a few years older than me.”
“But I’ve lived my entire life as a dragon, whereas you’re just now stepping foot into your heritage.” she countered, smirking once again. “I’m sure you’ve noticed I’m the same when it comes to ponies and their society. I’ve accepted that I have a lot to learn, and I’m going to make mistakes; you need to do the same.” She placed a claw on her chin for a moment of thought before she admitted, “I will say that you have a unique situation, in that you basically have one foot in each life -- one in the life of a dragon, and one in the life of a pony. You were raised as a pony, and so you’ve grown up with their culture and heritage, but your dragon instincts are still there. I’m going to help you the best I can, and teach you what you never learned, but it’s going to be...different.”
Raising a brow, I carefully asked, “How so?”
Ember just smirked again. “Normally, I’d go with you and show you how to carefully select hoard items in a controlled manner, so you can keep from losing control of your greed instinct. I can’t exactly walk around picking out mares with you, now can I?”
Against my will, I found myself contemplating that very thought for a moment...before shaking it away and groaning pathetically. “Really not helping, Ember.”
Ember stepped behind me and began pressing her digits firmly into the muscles around my neck, as an impromptu massage. She gently whispered, “Relax, Spike. Like I said: this is normal, and you have nothing to be ashamed about. If Starlight really had a problem with you looking at her, she would have lost it when you tackled her; besides, if I know you -- and I’d like to think I do -- this isn’t the first time you’ve admired her body.”
“Kinda hard not to; she’s really pretty.” I blurted before I could stop myself, slapping a hand to my mouth.
Ember’s fingers dug in deeper, and I couldn’t help but let out a groan as she practically forced me to relax. “Calm, Spike. Calm. I can’t speak for ponies, but a girl likes knowing she’s attractive. Starlight doesn’t strike me as the kind of mare that would get mad at you for a compliment, or a stray glance.” She released me finally, and walked around me, pulling me along by my hand. “C’mon, you said you needed help with something, and I might be able to offer my own help, depending on what it is.”
“I need to find Rainbow Dash.” I announced, choosing to be direct.
Ember glanced back at me with a raised brow. “Any particular reason why?”
I opened my mouth to give a good reason...only to find I didn’t really have one. “I...I’m not sure. I haven’t seen her in almost a week, and I just need to make sure she’s all right.”
“Hoarding instinct, again.” Ember confirmed, answering the question I hadn’t directly asked. “She’s important to you, and so you have to be sure she’s okay. Dragons get antsy if they don’t know if their hoard is safe, and as I said, your ‘treasures’ are the special people you care about.” As we continued to walk, Ember again faced forward, shrugging slightly. “I’m sure you’ve argued with yourself a bit on the way over here. ‘She’s probably fine; she’s a big pony, and she can handle herself,’ but your instincts aren’t going to let that be enough to calm you. Until you see her, safe and unharmed, the desire to track her down is just going to keep getting stronger. Considering you normally see her at least once every other day, I kinda find it weird it took you this long.”
I shrugged with a sheepish smile. “I was focused on making sure you felt better, actually. How are you feeling, by the way?”
Ember seemed to silently consider my question before she answered, “A lot better, thanks. It was stupid of me to fly through the winter air like that, but…” I was able to see as the spines on her head deepened with a blush, even though I couldn’t see her face, “I missed you, and needed to see you.”
Though I’d never say it to her face, because I knew she’d hate it, I couldn’t help but think of how cute Ember was when she got embarrassed -- even more so because she was admitting to missing me. I definitely didn’t grin like an idiot, and I certainly didn’t enjoy the warm, fluttery feeling in my chest.
Not buying it?
Yeah, me neither.
After taking a moment to school myself into something resembling respectable, I commented, “Well, with the gear Rarity made you, I don’t think the cold will be a problem anymore.”
Ember bobbed her head side to side as we entered the commons area. “I hate to admit it, but that mare is a wizard with a needle and thread. I don’t even like clothes, but even I can understand why she’s so successful.”
Smirking as I thought of the response I was going to get for my next comment, I added, “I wouldn’t mind seeing you in one of her evening gowns.”
Ember tripped over her own feet, and I just barely kept from laughing aloud. After taking a moment to comically pretend nothing had happened, she cleared her throat as she kept walking, but quietly answered, “...I’ll think about it.”
By the time we arrived in the commons room, Starlight was already waiting for us. I did my best not to be distracted by the way her coat and mane seemed to shine after a shower and a soak, and instead chose to silently enter the room and sit with Ember on the sofa next to the crackling hearth.
Starlight simply nodded to the two of us before getting straight to business. “So, what can I help with?”
Glancing momentarily to Ember, I answered, “I want to find Rainbow Dash, and I was hoping you might have a spell for that.”
Starlight raised her eyebrow high as she stared at me. “And you didn’t ask Twilight first?”
I shook my head. “Twilight’s never had the finesse for certain spells, and that includes tracking spells. Contrary to what you might believe, you are better than her at some things.”
Starlight blushed slightly in embarrassment. “You don’t have to butter me up, Spike. It’s true, I do know tracking spells, but if I’m going to track a living target, I need something personal -- I either need DNA of some sort, or something saturated in their magic. The spell is also very general, and only generalizes an area of a twenty meter radius.”
Well, that put a damper on my mood. Still, “A twenty meter radius is better than miles. Thats…” I did some quick calculations in my head, and estimated the best I could, “...about thirteen-hundred square meters. That’s a lot better than nothing.”
“Still forgetting the other part, Spike,” Starlight reminded gently. “I need something saturated in her magic, or her DNA. Unless you have a creepy Rainbow Dash shrine in your closet, I think we’re out of luck.”
I thought for a few moments before an idea came to mind...and it brought a blush to my head. “Um...be right back.”
Without any further explanation, I bounded up the stairs to the private quarters, and headed to my own room. Yanking open my top drawer, I searched for a few moments before finding what I was looking for, nearly slamming the drawer shut as I sped out of the room. I completely bypassed the stairs, and instead jumped over the railing to flare my wings at the very end, landing with a WHOOSH of air in front of Ember and Starlight. I cleared my throat nervously before handing over what I had found.
Starlight took the object from my hand, inspecting it for only a moment before raising both eyebrows to me accusingly. “Spike, why do you have Rainbow Dash’s sports bra?”
I swear, if any more blood rushed to my face, I would pass out. “She came here with me to hang out after a workout one day, and ended up spilling lemonade all over herself. She showered and changed, but said this had to be air-dried instead of magically, like Twilight had done with the rest. She left it here, and by the time it was dry, it was too late to bring it to her. Since I’m the one that does more errands around town, I kept it in my drawer, promising myself to bring it back to her...but I kept forgetting.” Ignoring the skeptical look Starlight was giving me, I added, “That’s one of her older tops -- years old, at least -- so I know that plenty of her magic has seeped into it by now. Sweat might wash out, but magic doesn’t.”
Starlight just continued staring at me, finally saying, “You know, if you were just holding onto this for ‘inspiration,’ I wouldn’t judge you.”
I went from embarrassed to annoyed in an instant, and if Starlight’s surprised look was any indication, my face showed it. “If that was my reason for it, I would have grabbed her thong or something. In case you don’t remember, during summertime,” I pointed to the article of clothing, “this passes as a shirt, in Rainbow Dash’s mind. She doesn’t even wear a shirt during the warmer months unless she’s going somewhere other than work or home.”
Starlight released a sigh and nodded reluctantly. “I suppose I can understand that.”
“What’s a thong?”
Both Starlight and I looked to Ember, me with a blush. Ember just shrugged. “What? It’s not like I wear clothes normally like ponies do.”
I cleared my throat and quickly explained. “Okay, you remember when Rarity offered to make you underpants and such?” Ember nodded. “Okay, well a thong has the normal concealment in front, covering a mare’s ‘bits,’ but only a string for the back part.” I gestured with my hands to press the point home.
Ember was silent for a moment, and I assumed she was trying to visualize what I was explaining, before raising her brow and asking, “Isn’t that uncomfortable?”
“It takes getting used to,” Starlight admitted, “but it frames a mare’s assets quite nicely for anyone lucky enough to see it.” She then shot me a playful glance as she pressed, “Doesn’t it, Spike?”
“Can we please focus?” I pleaded, my efforts to reduce my embarrassment seeming futile.
Starlight had the good grace to look suitably chastised, nodding with a sheepish smile. “Right, sorry. Now’s not the time for that. All right, stay quiet for a moment. This takes...ngh...a bit of focus.” Starlight strained as her horn lit up with her brilliant aquamarine aura, as she levitated the article of Rainbow Dash’s clothing in the air. Her horn gained a second layer of magic, then a third, and then a fourth, before with a chiming snap, the sports bra fell to the floor, and Starlight was left panting as she leaned over and rested her hands on her knees. “Whoo, it’s been a long time since I’ve had to cast a spell of that complexity.”
I glanced around, feeling a bit confused. “I don’t understand; was something supposed to happen?”
Starlight simply placed her hand on my forearm, and immediately, I found a strange pulling sensation in a certain direction. At my gasp of surprise, Starlight just grinned. “Think of me as a living compass, for the time being.”
As she pulled her hand away, I just stared at my own forearm, aware that the feeling had left. Trying to put words to what I had felt was useless, so I could only say, “That was freaky.”
“But it’ll help,” Starlight assured, standing and moving toward the coat rack in the corner of the room. “For obvious reasons, I’ll need to come with you. It’s a timed spell, so we only have about thirty minutes before I’ll need to cast it again. While it’s active, I can’t just self-levitate like I normally would, so…”
“You need to ride me.” I surmised, immediately regretting my word choice as Starlight blushed and Ember started laughing. I just groaned as my blush flared up once again and admitted, “Yeah, I realized it as soon as I said it. Get your minds out of the gutter, you two.”
“You first.” Starlight challenged, smirking with a faint dusting of lighter pink on her cheeks. She finished getting dressed before grabbing her satchel, putting a few items in it before nodding to me. “Okay, I’m set whenever you are.”
I glanced to Ember, and she just shook her head. “I’m not up for flying in the cold just yet, even with winter gear on. I’ll wait here and tell Twilight what you’re up to if she comes back before you return.”
I nodded and gave Ember a one-armed hug before crouching to allow Starlight to climb onto my back. Once she was secure with her seated just behind my wings, I grasped her behind her knees and stood, wasting no more time in exiting through the balcony and taking to the sky.
Thankfully, today was a good day for searching for Rainbow Dash: it had stopped snowing a day ago, so while the world was still quite white with snowfall, I didn’t have to worry about snowflakes blowing into my eyes as I flew. The only problem was, because everything looked the same from up above, I was going to have to rely on Starlight’s sense of direction to get us to our target and back to Ponyville, depending on how far we would be flying.
With an indeterminate amount of flying to do and the added weight of another on my back, I simply allowed silence to reign as I focused on flying.
“Signal’s getting stronger,” Starlight advised, speaking for the first time since we had taken to the air. While I could feel the same “pull” she could, I apparently couldn’t tell the difference between “strong” and “weak,” so I was glad she had spoken up.
“Guess that means we’re getting close, then?” I questioned with a hopeful tone.
I felt as Starlight gave a firm pat to the area just below my neck. “Yeah. We’ll know we’ve arrived when I can no longer tell which direction to go. We still have about 10 minutes left on the spell, so judging by the fact that the spell is getting stronger at the rate it is, we’ll arrive before the spell depletes.” She went silent for another few moments before casually asking, “So, is there a reason you need to find Rainbow? Do you have something important to tell her?” Her tone definitely said “smirk,” and it wasn’t difficult to guess what she was implying.
“No, I’m not going to confess my undying love for her, if that’s what you’re hoping for.” I grumbled, mentally cursing that miles of white snow weren’t good for distracting my mind from thoughts of Rainbow Dash in some of her...more friendly moments over the years.
Another stretch of silence before, “I have to ask: does it get difficult being around so many mares all the time?”
“Difficult how?” I asked absently, again trying to completely focus on flying to keep the blood in my wings and not my face.
“Well,” she began, pausing as she seemed to organize her thoughts, “I mean, you don’t have many guy friends.”
I frowned at the thought, but couldn’t deny the truth. “Not many guys to be friends with. It is Equestria, after all.”
“Right,” she answered, “and I get that, but even you have to admit that a guy being friends with so many mares seems kinda weird.”
I shrugged helplessly. “It kinda lost its weird factor for me a long time ago. I haven’t really known any different, so I don’t have a reason to feel weird about it. It is what it is, and I do the best I can with what I’ve got to work with.”
The moments of silence were becoming moments of dread, because I had a feeling where these questions were going.
“How often do you...look?”
I faltered in my flight only slightly, but it was enough to jostle Starlight and cause her to press herself tighter against me as her arms wrapped around my neck. I was very aware of the fact that, had this been any other situation, the sensation of her chest and pelvis pressed against me would be very intimate. I told myself over and over, to keep from getting worked up over this like some 10-second colt, that she had no reason to do it but to keep from falling. As far as the conversation itself, the way she had said “look” didn’t leave any room for denial about what she meant, but against my instinct to laugh it off or make something up, I had been working hard to be honest with everyone about things once again.
After a moment of silence on my side, I cleared my throat and shakily admitted, “A-a lot. I can’t really help it when you all are so comfortable around me by this point that walking around in underwear is not even considered embarrassing anymore. I do my best to keep from staring, but…” I swallowed hard as I continued with, “I think I’d break my own neck if I forced myself to look away every time one of my friends ‘got comfortable’ as far as clothing is concerned. I’m around all of you too much for that to even be practical -- hay, I live with two of you.”
I didn’t have to be a mind reader to know Starlight’s next question before she asked it. “And...me?”
“I did say ‘friends,’ didn’t I?” I returned playfully, smiling even though I know she couldn’t see it. “Let’s just say that earlier, when I ran into you after bathing, I was not as calm as I seemed. Basically, for the few seconds you were on top of me, my instincts were telling me to ‘breed this female.’ I can’t imagine it would be all that different for any other male that was in the same situation; you’re not exactly unattractive, Glimglam.” I smirked at the drop of the nickname, knowing the response I would be getting.
As I suspected, Starlight groaned and whined, “Spiiike! Don’t call me that! I swear, I’m going to find a way to punish Trixie for letting that slip while you were around.”
I just chuckled and commented, “I think it’s kinda cute. Sounds bubbly and fun.”
Even without being able to look at her, I knew Starlight was pouting. “I don’t do bubbly.”
“Still cute.” I teased, receiving a hard flick to the back of my head for my efforts. ‘Worth it.’
“Whatever,” she grumbled with a sigh. After a pause, she added, “But thanks. I don’t have many guy friends that will give me an honest answer, so it’s nice to know the compliments I get aren’t always just an effort to get me into bed or something.”
Thinking carefully about how to word my next sentence, I took a moment to think before replying, “I can’t speak for any other guys, obviously, but I think you’re a beautiful, smart, talented mare. When I look at you, I don’t see ‘Princess Twilight’s pretty protege’ or ‘the hot counselor,’ I see my friend, Starlight Glimmer, who happens to be an attractive mare. And yes, I’ve heard you called ‘the hot counselor’ by a student, but I’m not going to say by who. Let the colts have their fun, Star.”
Starlight went silent once again, this time apparently done talking. I hoped I hadn’t offended her in any way, but if the slight nuzzle behind my ear fin was any indication, she liked what I had said. It was nice to know that I could make her happy, even if it was with a simple compliment. I had found, over the years, that sometimes all it took to make someone’s day was a few honest, kind words.
Only a few minutes later, I felt Starlight suddenly sit up as she announced, “We’re here.”
I slowed to a stop, holding her legs tightly in my arms as I dropped to a vertical hover position. I glanced around the area, noticing we were a few thousand feet above a small town, with a smattering of pegasus buildings floating overhead. Quickly deciding on a course of action, I descended slowly to the ground.
As I landed, I gently released Starlight as I asked, “Look around down here, and I’ll check the cloud houses.”
Starlight rounded me and tilted her head back to catch my gaze. “How are you going to find her? It’s a little rude to just knock on the doors of strangers.”
I pointed to my nose with a smirk. “The nose knows. If I get close enough to places she’s been, I’ll be able to detect her scent.” Before Starlight could start to question that, I shook my head. “I’ll explain it later. For now, let’s split up. If you find her, send up a flare so I can find you.”
She offered me a determined nod and began walking away. “Good luck, Spike.” I watched her trot away for a moment before turning my head skyward and blasting into the open air.
I hadn’t been completely honest with Starlight when I said I'd be using my nose to find Rainbow Dash -- or, at least, I was omitting some information. Unfortunately, a dragon’s nose wasn’t much better than a pony’s normally, and scent doesn’t tend to stick around too long in the sky. Fortunately, I had recently been learning some rudimentary spells from Ember, one of which had the ability to temporarily enhance certain physical senses.
I began by landing on a cloud, knowing I would need a moment of focus to cast the spell. From there, I had to bring up a very specific emotion that I was not very familiar with: the thrill of a hunt. As a dragon that had never actually hunted for live food before, the emotion was foreign to me, but my current need actually filled the role quite well. In a way, I was already hunting for Rainbow Dash, and if the emotion was strong enough, that would work just fine.
‘Rainbow Dash,’ I thought to myself, picturing the colorful, athletic mare in my mind. Having spent so much time around her, I was easily able to call up an image of her, her smile, her voice, the way she moved and fidgeted, and even her smell. Following that, I focused on my reason for being here: ‘Need to find Rainbow Dash.’
The desire was strong, but it wouldn’t coalesce into the familiar warmth that accompanied the “feel” of a spell that was ready to be cast, which I often felt in my chest. I frowned at the momentary setback before settling myself again and closing my eyes. The simple desire to find Rainbow Dash, my dear friend, was not going to be enough to match the intensity that would be needed for this spell, so I had to change the way I thought about it...and the only way I came up with was a bit embarrassing.
‘Need to find Rainbow Dash,’ I mentally recited, taking a moment to truly feel what I was about to think. ‘Need to find...my mare. Must find my mare; have to make her safe.’
I was nearly thrown off-balance by the sharp thrum of power that vibrated through me, along with the growl of agreement I found myself uttering without consciously choosing to. I took a moment to mentally grasp that feeling, and channel it, before opening my eyes and beginning to write the spell in the air.
Incidentally, the character for this spell, when written on its own, simply meant “hunt” in the most basic form; it referred generally to the desire to find what one is searching for, to locate a target with frightening efficiency and take it for myself. With a careful hold on the required emotion, however, I began to hum a nameless tune, one of deep intensity and an almost anxious energy. As I had become familiar with recently, my song added power to my spell, and the now-familiar fiery filigree grew like vines around the floating, glowing character.
Once finished, the spell pulsed in time with my own heartbeat, and I ceased my humming to complete the spellform. And then, to properly activate the spell, I inhaled the burning character through my nose. It...went about as well as I expected, frankly; it felt like I had inhaled a handful of pepper, and for a moment, the itchy burning was all I could focus on. Slowly though, it was like an entirely new world opened up to me, and I was very aware of new scents all around me.
I could nearly point them out as they caressed my heightened sense of smell: there, a pie was baked with love from a mother or father, perhaps for a child. Over to my right, I could smell the moist air that heralded a rain that would be coming later. Somewhere to my left, I detected what smelled like-
There she is.
Rainbow Dash’s natural scent -- a sharp bite of chili peppers, covered in decadent chocolate, and almost playfully caressed by fresh spring air -- was impossible for me to mistake. It was a scent I was intimately familiar with, because of the many memories it brought, and the smile it always gave me. Her scent, to me, perfectly emulated who she was, and I would know it anywhere I smelled it.
I slowly flapped my wings, taking my time to orient myself before following the familiar scent up into the clouds. I ignored the few ponies that stuck their heads out of the cloud houses -- likely wondering who I was and just what the hay I was doing -- and decided to just focus on the task at hand. Unfortunately, my focus was not perfect, and I found myself momentarily laughing at the mental image of me with the head of a bloodhound before getting a firm hold on what I needed to do.
As I expected, the scent went all over the sky -- as I imagined Rainbow Dash would -- but was concentrated in certain areas. One was a cloud that she had apparently napped on, while another was a...volunteer rescue squad recruitment center? I just raised my brow at the building before pushing open the door and walking inside.
As I had figured, I caused a commotion almost immediately upon entering; dragons weren’t exactly a common sight unless one lived in Ponyville or Canterlot, after all. To my surprise, however, the commotion wasn’t from fear, but curiosity and excitement. And, to my further shock, a few of the pegasi even greeted me by name.
Any other day I wouldn't be bothered by the attention, but at the moment, I had a goal in mind that I needed to compete. With a loud clearing of my throat I asked, “Has anyone seen a pegasus with a rainbow mane and tail?”
One of the ponies, a mare with wide eyes and a dumbfounded look on her face, merely jerked her thumb to the back room. I gave a nod of thanks before making my way through the front room and through the indicated door. The door led to a short hallway with three doors -- two on the right and one on the left. Stopping briefly to close my eyes, I focused on my sense of smell and again began following the invigorating scent of Rainbow Dash through the hall. Without even opening my eyes, I was led to the last door on the right, and I opened my eyes only a moment before knocking and pushing the door open.
The inside of the room was spartan, even by comparison to Luna’s room in Canterlot. There was a bunk bed against one wall, a small television on another, and across from the television was a small desk set against a wall. The desk was home to countless scattered sheets of paper, scrolls, and small sticky-notes, but most importantly was that it also had my friend sitting in the chair, hunched over a notebook.
“I promise I’ll rest soon, Shimmer,” Rainbow Dash voiced, her tone tired and even more raspy than normal, “but I need to finish plotting the next search grid. Give me twenty minutes and I’ll hit the hay.” She continued scribbling in the notebook before brushing her bangs aside and turning my direction. Her normally bright eyes were swimming with exhaustion and a deep sorrow, and it took a few moments before she seemed to realize who she was looking at. “...S-Spike? What...what are you doing here?”
Before answering, I stepped over to the single window and leaned my head out, taking a deep breath and ensuring the area was clear before exhaling a massive gout of fire into the sky -- that would get Starlight’s attention. After doing that, I turned back to Rainbow Dash and crossed my arms, frowning slightly. “I was going to ask you the same thing. Dash, it’s been over a week since any of us have seen you, and I was worried. No one knew what was going on, so I had to find you.”
Rainbow Dash rolled her jaw around before pointing behind me. “Jacket.”
I pivoted and turned to where she was pointing, seeing a simple military-style camo blouse that matched the pants Rainbow Dash was wearing. On the sleeve was a patch that clearly read “Volunteer Rescue Squad, Div. 16”.
“I joined after I left the Wonderbolts,” she explained, letting out a long breath of exhaustion. When I turned to observe her, she was fully slumped in the chair, resting her head in her hands. “There was a landslide in a small town near the mountains outside Griffinstone, and I was called to assist in the S&R operations.”
Raising a brow, my frown only deepened. “I’ve never been a part of disaster relief, but I know how they work. There are enough volunteers staffed for something like this to rotate you home after a few days, so that you can rest and recuperate. So why are you still here?”
Rainbow Dash hesitated for a moment before swiveling on her chair to face me. She slowly reached into the back pocket of her pants and fished out her wallet, which was colored to match her hair. She opened it and silently fished out a small photo, handing it to me.
In it was a familiar young mare: Scootaloo. She was standing beside her parents, two older ponies with proud smiles, as she held aloft a gold medal from beside her scooter.
“Her parents were at ground zero when the landslide happened,” Rainbow Dash explained, her voice defeated and saddened all at once. “It’s been a week since it happened, and we’re starting to pull out bodies of ponies that froze to death. We still haven’t found them, though.”
I looked back to Rainbow Dash, and her eyes were staring at the back of the photo I held. Wordlessly, I handed it back to her, and she took it before gently sliding it back into her wallet. After a moment of silence, she glanced back up to me, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “They were stopping for supplies there for their trip to volunteer for disaster relief in Vanhoover, and now they’re the ones that became victims.”
The tone she used wasn’t at all reassuring. “Dash, there’s still a chance you’ll find them. Maybe-”
“Spike,” she interrupted, shaking her head as she pushed my outstretched hand away, “I appreciate the sentiment, but I’m fresh out of patience for false hope. It’s been thirty below freezing nearly every day out there. If we haven’t found them by now, if and when we do, they’re not going to be alive.”
My heart dropped into my stomach as I took in what she suggested. “So…”
“Scootaloo’s parents are likely already dead, frozen to death in darkness,” she answered, sniffling once before furiously rubbing her eyes and choking down a sob as she half-heartedly pulled at her bangs with her fingertips. After a moment, she released another long sigh, resting her arms on her knees and staring at the floor. “I’m all she has left. Scootaloo has no other family, no next of kin, and no place to go. The life insurance policies from her parents aren’t going to fill the place of her family.” She grunted and punched her knee hard, letting a snort out of her nose as she raised her head and set a glare of determination on me. “I have to find them. If she has to say goodbye, she deserves the closure of knowing we found them, instead of just a plot of earth and two headstones.”
I was still coming to grips with what had happened. I liked to consider myself a realist, so I knew that if Rainbow Dash said it was highly unlikely we would find Scootaloo’s parents alive, she was right. I had just wanted to find my friend, and instead, I find she’s been basically killing herself over a self-imposed mission that no one pony should have to face alone. She hadn’t rested, hadn't decompressed, and hadn’t stopped. While a part of me was glad Rainbow Dash was healthy and whole, a much larger part of me was brokenhearted for Scootaloo, and worried about Rainbow Dash’s emotional state.
So, I did the only thing that came to mind: I pulled Rainbow Dash to stand before wrapping her in my wings and arms, fully encasing her in an embrace that almost seemed to shut out the world. I felt her attempt to jerk away, and even try and use her hands to push me away as she fought to escape, but after only a few seconds, her struggles began to taper off and then completely cease...and then she began to sob loudly against my chest. Her arms, once trying to shove herself away, now wrapped around my back as she held on for dear life. As her legs gave out and she collapsed to the floor, I followed her and pulled the bawling pegasus into my lap, using my wings to shut out the world as I just held her close and ran my fingers comfortingly through her mane.
Somewhere outside of my focus, I knew Starlight had found us and entered the small room, but Rainbow Dash was still the sole subject of my attention, and I was going to devote everything I had to being there for her.
So, for the second time in a month, I held a pegasus as she cried.
“It should only take a few seconds.” I assured, absently petting the sleeping pegasus in my lap.
Starlight was sitting beside me, seemingly torn between continuing to sit and beginning to pace. We had sent a letter to Twilight only a few moments ago detailing the situation, and were now awaiting a response.
Starlight sighed as she fidgeted anxiously. “What makes you think-”
With a loud belch, I exhaled a green flame, and a scroll materialized in front of my face. Knowing what it was for, I set it a good distance away from us and waited silently. After only a few minutes, a bright flash and crack of displaced air heralded the arrival of Twilight herself, who immediately rushed to us and kneeled beside me.
Twilight reached out and affectionately rubbed a thumb through the tear tracks of the sleeping pegasus in my lap, frowning slightly as she did. “Oh Rainbow…” After taking a moment to look over the sleeping mare, Twilight turned her eyes to me. “I want you to go with her to search tomorrow.”
I raised my brow at that. “What about the function in Canterlot? Won’t the nobles be upset if I don’t show?”
Twilight downright scowled at the mention of what we were supposed to be doing tomorrow. “You let me handle them. Rainbow needs you more than they do, and we can reschedule this for another time. I guess they’ll just have to make due with me in the meantime.”
While a part of me wanted to argue, I knew it would be fruitless; when Twilight truly set her mind on something, she would not be swayed, and I could see that look in her eyes. With a resigned sigh, I nodded. “All right, I’ll go. Tell Fancy Pants I said sorry for standing him up like that; he was looking forward to meeting up.”
Twilight grinned at the mention of the aged stallion. “Don’t worry, I know he’ll understand. Right now, you have something more important to take care of, and he would agree.” She then looked to Starlight and gave her a grateful smile and a hug. “Thank you for helping Spike, Starlight.”
Starlight returned the embrace, but replied, “Spike is my friend too, Twi. I wanted to help him, so I did.”
“Still,” Twilight pressed, “thank you. I’m always anxious about leaving Spike alone to deal with things,” she shot a look my way, and the words I had been about to say died on my tongue, “even though he has proven that he’s quite capable of handling things on his own.” She then turned back to Starlight and offered a gentle smile. “I’m so grateful for you, Starlight. Don’t ever forget that.”
Starlight began blushing hard as she glanced away from the taller alicorn. “...t-thanks, Twilight. I’m grateful for you, too.”
Twilight then stood and waved her hand through the air. The portion she had waved her hand through seemed to shimmer like oil before a circular window showing my room back in Ponyville appeared. Twilight turned to me and jerked her head toward the sudden portal. “Take Rainbow back home. We'll help get her cleaned up, and then make sure she gets a good rest. I can’t offer any assistance other than that, but if you’re going to be handling this on your own with her tomorrow, you both need proper rest,” she then turned to the minimalist bunk and scrunched her nose at it, “and while I understand that sometimes a simple cot is all we can afford to have, I’ll not let a best friend sleep in a place like this when we have far more supportive and restful bedding back at the castle.” Turning her head to glance at me again, Twilight gestured with her hand to the portal. “Go on. I have to get back to Canterlot to rearrange things for tomorrow. Expect another event next week to make up for this, and prepare for a lot of sour looks in your direction.”
Looking down at Rainbow Dash, and remembering why she was so broken up, I nodded firmly. “It’s worth it.” Looking back to Twilight as I gently stood, carrying Rainbow Dash bridal-style, I carefully asked, “What are we gonna do about Scootaloo? I don’t want to see her left alone in this.”
Twilight frowned and glanced away, clearly as unhappy about the situation as I was. “I have a plan in mind, and we’ll discuss it, but after you and Rainbow complete your task. Scootaloo doesn’t know what happened yet, and she doesn’t need to until you have some sort of closure ready for her.” Closing her eyes, Twilight let a single, crystalline tear fall to the carpeted floor under her hooves. “The poor mare deserves to be able to see proof of what happened, so she doesn’t spend the next decade holding out hope that a miracle will appear on her doorstep. We all know what that did to Applejack and Big Mac, so we need to make sure Scootaloo is able to properly grieve.”
I took a steadying breath before stepping toward the portal and through it, slightly disoriented by how seamless the transition was -- we had traveled the equivalent of nearly a hundred miles instantaneously, and not for the first time, I found myself completely in awe of Twilight’s power. Starlight arrived behind me, followed by Twilight herself, and the portal snapped shut behind us as if it had never been there in the first place.
Twilight lit her horn and gently levitated Rainbow Dash from my arms, nodding her head toward the doorway. “Starlight and I will get Rainbow cleaned up and ready for bed. As close as the two of you are, it still wouldn’t be appropriate if-”
I waved my hand. “She’s still a mare, and not my mate. I got it, and it’s fine.” I shooed them away with both hands. “Go ahead and get her ready. I’ll make sure everything in here is ready when you girls are done, so take good care of her.”
Twilight nodded to me, wasting no further time as she marched with Starlight through my door, presumably to the bathroom. I quickly cleaned up my room, picking up stray clothes and tossing them into the laundry basket, making the bed properly, and opening the windows to swap out with some fresh air before closing them once again. It was still only mid-afternoon, which was far earlier than I normally went to bed, but if Rainbow Dash and I were going to get all the way to the mountains of Griffinstone by the morning, we would need to go to bed so we could also get up early.
With a quick tidying up of the room done, I removed my clothes and tossed them expertly into the laundry hamper, pulling on a pajama top and bottom to keep myself decent, since I would have Rainbow Dash sleeping next to me (I normally slept only in underwear around my herd, but Rainbow Dash was just a friend, so I wasn’t going to make things weird for her). With all that done, I pulled back the bedding and sat on the edge of the bed, waiting patiently for Twilight and Starlight to return with Rainbow Dash.
I wasn’t sure exactly how much time had passed, but the next thing I knew, my door opened once again to allow entry to the three mares. Rainbow Dash clearly must have been exhausted, since she appeared to still be in a deep sleep. Her coat was clean and fluffy, her mane silky and well-brushed, and she looked downright adorable in the loaned set of pajamas Twilight had dressed her in, the black and violet silk contrasting her vibrant coloration. The two mares gently laid the third on the right side of my bed, and I stood to greet them as they tucked her in.
“How was it?” I asked, wondering if anything had happened since they had taken her.
Despite the situation, Twilight smiled down at her sleeping friend, gently smoothing her fingertips over the pegasus’ cheek. “Not so much as a twitch. If I had to bet, I would put my bits on her having gone days without sleep.” As she continued to brush her fingers over Rainbow Dash’s face, her smile slowly dropped into a sad frown. “Oh Rainbow...I wish you would tell us these things.” Retracting her hand and directing her eyes toward me, Twilight nodded with a determined look. “You know Rainbow as well as the rest of us, so you know she won’t feel comfortable around too many others in this vulnerable state -- she’ll think we’re pitying her. It would be best if you were the only one here tonight, so she doesn’t feel confined.”
While normally the logic would seem backwards -- a single mare, alone, in a male’s bed? -- I knew Twilight was right about how Rainbow Dash would react to her and Starlight also being in the room. Nodding slowly, I gave a hug and whispered “thanks” to Starlight, followed by a hug and a kiss to Twilight, watching as the two mares left my room and closed the door behind them. With the heavy curtains on my windows, the room was nearly completely dark without the light on, with only small, orange slivers of light penetrating the curtains. Knowing I would need my rest, I ignored the early hour and laid down on my own pillow to go to sleep.
Before I could fall asleep, however, I turned my head to look one more time at Rainbow Dash. As Twilight did, I reached over and smoothed my fingers along her cheek, wishing I could fix all of this. For now, though, giving the mare a friendly presence and a comfortable bed to sleep in would be enough, and the following day I would be helping her accomplish what she had set out to do.
As I closed my eyes, I sent a silent prayer to the Creator. “Faust, if you’re listening, please watch over us.” And even though I wasn’t sure if Luna could hear me, I still sent one to her as well. “Lu, please let Rainbow get a nightmare-free sleep tonight. Watch over her dreams, and let her recuperate from what she’s put herself through.”
With those last thoughts, I turned on my side, facing the edge of my side of the bed, and tried to let myself slip off into slumber. Thankfully, be it my resolve or the help of a certain night princess, I felt the land of dreams welcoming with open arms, and I quickly slipped away into a restful night’s sleep.
Rarity's father a chemist? That seems a bit of a stretch :). Quite a lot that happened this chapter. Looking forward to more.
And that, my friends, is what we call "Tempting Fate."
It has felt like YEARS since that incident with AJ. I honestly had to go back to see if that was from this story and not someone else’s.
i have been waiting for next part of this story ;) man this will surly brighten my jurny to other country for training ^^ a big BIG thanks to you for writing this ;)
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Training?
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yeah its for the new job im applying to
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Oh, congrats and good luck.
Great new chapter!
Fun to see how the herds worked - seems pretty similar to how they work in Dusk Shine's Saga. Will be interesting in seeing who ends up wearing the broach as the chapters go on - and Spike's reaction once he realizes who he sees wearing them. I was hoping for Pinkie to be wearing one when Spike went to talk with her, honestly. Along with Starlight, to be honest - was an interesting conversation between the two of them.
And poor Scoots - going to be interesting seeing how she handles it, along with everyone trying to support her.
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Thank you :) i cant wait for the next chapter already ^^
Only biologically able to breed with Ember! Spike, haven't you heard of the Kirin my boy.
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Read this in Discord's voice. And speaking of Discord, I'd bet he could bridge some gaps too. Or, you know, the Princess of ing Magic. Something tells me we'll see a nice twist in Spike's direction soon.
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Never is it said Kirin (qilin) are naturally-born from the union of a pony and dragon. Yes, they share similar characteristics, but mythologically speaking, they're considered a sort of chimera, which is a creature that shares features with at least three different creatures, without actually being any of them.
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This is a world of magic where the rules as we all know it don't apply. Surely these hybrid children can be born into the world. If not, then ok. It's your story, I was just thinking with the existence of the Kirin, crossbreeding must somehow be possible or else these beings never would have existed in the first place.
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I can see not being able to have kids being a sticking point for some of the herd potentials - so it will be interesting to see what the author does regarding that, if it does come up as a problem. Twilight is pretty smart, Ember may have heard of something, and Celestia and Luna have been around a long while, so maybe there is something. It's just never come up in conversation, so at this point it's anyone's guess.
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I can tell you right away that two of them are going to have big problems with that -- you can probably guess who at least one of them is. There will be a resolution to this problem, but not until later.
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My immediate guesses are going to be Rarity and Pinkie - definitely curious to see what happens.
Edit: oh, Applejack obviously. Which makes me unsure which of the other two I mentioned...
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Well that will be a interesting arc to read.
Wow, the feelings are strong with this chapter!
Great job! This roller-coaster just keeps going!
haha
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Wait where are scoots aunts at?
What happen to them?