Kids. Kids. Who are you gonna believe, some old book, or your Uncle Bad Horse?

So, anyway. Like I was saying. Once upon a time...

(One of those damn kids had a wire on him, and put recordings on that tubey thing, one, two, three. And made a video. And wrote it all down, in Russian.)

Hearth's Warming Eve is supposed to be a happy event—Cadance knows this, but all she ever feels is lonely. Now, with Shining Armor gone and a freak snowstorm battering her kingdom, it's up to Cadance to salvage the holiday and teach her crystal ponies to care for one another.

A story about finding your family, on the coldest night of the year.
— Featured on Equestria Daily

When Twilight is accused of nepotism, her friends rush to her defense! Sortof.

Written in four hours during a speed-writing exercise. Totally unedited. Enjoy!

A simple exchange of gifts between the Royal Sisters becomes not-so-simple as the fun gets doubled, then quadrupled, then very nearly octupled.

The original version of this story took 4th place in The Writeoff Association's December 2014 contest, "Behind Closed Doors."

Stress levels were already high, with Twilight directing her first royal Hearth's Warming pageant and unexpected snowstorms escaping the Everfree. Then the changeling army arrived.

Now, with Queen Chrysalis holding Ponyville hostage and the clock ticking on suspiciously pointless negotiations, it's up to Rarity to match wits with the invaders and save the holiday. However, as she digs ever deeper into the queen's tangled plot, what she learns could force her to choose between her friendships and her conscience.

Off-season note: This is a Hearth's Warming story like Die Hard is a Christmas movie (but with espionage instead of explosions). Don't skip it just because the holiday's over.

Critical praise:

"A high-tension thriller where nothing is what it seems." — Titanium Dragon (rating: "Highly Recommended")

"An entertaining ride from start to finish … watching all the pieces fall into place is fantastic." — Present Perfect (rating: "Highly Recommended")

"Props to horizon for an intricate web of deception. Most writers have difficulty with crafting mysteries … this one, however, had me completely fooled from beginning to end." — PaulAsaran (rating: "Why Haven't You Read This Yet?")

"It’s a rare mystery and thriller that can keep things tense and make the mystery actually tough to guess as you go along, while still feeling like a natural conclusion. ... The end result of layers unveiled and red herrings contradicted makes it sing." — Ghost Mike (rating: "Really Good")

Second-place winner in the "Behind Closed Doors" December writeoff, now expanded and revised! Featured on EqD! Rated "Recommended" by MLPmatthewl419!

Big thanks to Titanium Dragon for post-Writeoff editing assistance.

Comments contain spoilers!

Ahuizotl threatens to sue A. K. Yearling for libel unless she stops writing the Daring Do books. She makes him a counter-offer.

Based on the November 2014 prompt from The Writeoff Association, "Title Drop," the original version of this story won second place in that month's contest.

Tirek won, and Equestria lies under his hoof. Luckily, some brave ponies remain that resist him.

Unfortunately, they're the Cutie Mark Crusaders. And they have a brilliant plan.

A companion piece to Bring Me the Heads of the Cutie Mark Crusaders! by CCC and Der Unter-gang by monokeras, tackling the same premise in a different way.

Cover art from the gallery of ROBBERGON.

All Twilight had to do was finish Starswirl the Bearded's final spell. She didn't have to become undead, seal her soul in the Elements of Harmony, or enlist her friends in an effort to fix everything... but you have to play the hand you're dealt.

Even if it's rotting off.

-

Big ups to Themaskedferret for all her support on this story.

Tall Tales didn't intend to be in Ponyville for long. It was supposed to be a brief stop on the way to the storytellers' gathering in Connemara, and nothing more. How was he to know he'd be offered the opportunity to show southerners real storytelling? More to the point, how was he supposed to refuse? And just what does this pink pony want with him, anyway?
Now he's shanghaied himself into performing, and must use all his skill to stay on stage, on target, and within the bounds of sanity. So gather round, pull up a bollard, and listen to some proper Equestrian folk tales.
Or watch one stallion go slowly mad in public. Either way, you're in for a treat.

After being sucked into the magical land of Equestria, YOU find yourself as the legendary Brony Hero in this exciting interactive adventure. Will you find the Time Orb and restore peace to the land? Or will you marry Fluttershy? Will you defeat the evil demon king Tirek? Or will you marry Luna?

With 21 endings to choose from, only you can decide your fate!