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Tirek won, and Equestria lies under his hoof. Luckily, some brave ponies remain that resist him.
Unfortunately, they're the Cutie Mark Crusaders. And they have a brilliant plan.
A companion piece to Bring Me the Heads of the Cutie Mark Crusaders! by CCC and Der Unter-gang by monokeras, tackling the same premise in a different way.
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This looks like it ought to be a whole lot of fun. CMC, go!
this will be intresting
4911345
4912320
Glad you both approve! The next chapter should be up pretty soon.
I am a big fan of borrowing from the past Gens to use in the present Gen. Keep going, I love that you are using the pony Faust used as inspiration of Rainbow Dash. and turned her into an author.
4914182
(Also a great deal of subversion, on account of being personally constitutionally incapable of being serious for too long.)
There'll be a lot of mirroring of the original G1 tale here, rest assured.
Your Tirek's a lot smarter and more competant than the one in my story.
...I think the Crusaders are going to be in pretty serious trouble pretty shortly.
4914906
We're not yet close to the full extent of his bastardry, believe me.
Damn, Tirek really is a bastard. Here's hoping Spike gets to apply a little dragon fire to the situation before everything is over.
Poor human, kidnapped by the CMC.
Pictures, Applebloom! Draw pictures!
It's not like there's a million ways *those* can be misinterpreted.
4915588
Further bastardry, dragon fire, and reasons for the human to regret existence will all continue to crop up.
4917085
I don't know, man. I've done some pretty heavy picture-misinterpretation back in the days. There were misunderstandings. Consequences. People died. Like, thousands.
Also, that way would have resulted in less shattered kneecaps, which isn't a way worth consideration.
Err, spike doesn't have a cutie mark. What about all the other ponies that don't have cutie marks etc pumpkin cake, pound cake? Where are they! And also, I think we shall get a female human too!
4918362
Bearing in mind the CMC are indulging in a bit of hyperbole (and have more of a personal stake in the fight than others), they're the only active ponies without cutie marks that they themselves know about. Pound and Pumpkin Cake are still infants, and unlikely to be that big an asset in the fight against Tirek. They're (relatively) safe at home.
4918398
But wouldn't they be dead as they is probably no food around...
4918676
Nah. Farmers are still doing their job, if absent a certain zest for the activity. Farming's still going on, albiet not as efficiently as before. Food stocks still exist. The fields and infrastructure largely still exist. Tirek's taken over Equestria, not levelled it to the ground.
4918690
Uh huh...
Sweetie's initial comment was right, this is just regular cruelty. Hilarious, hilarious cruelty.
4919419
You know you're doing something either very wrong or very right when you as the author, whilst working on a chapter, think, "Am I being a shade too cruel?"
The answer is always, "Nope. More!"
I wasn't sure about this story. Until I met myself in the ccomments.
(We have the ssame views on creation cruelty! I really make the MC of my FoE fic work for her "Survival" virtue...)
...poor Yrr. He finally meets somepony who can understand him, and it's exactly the wrong person...
Well, at least Zecora should be able to heal his physical injuries. ...right?
4925008
One day, Kurt Vonnegut sat down and penned the following advice.
That day, millions of fiction characters cried out in terror.
And then just sort of continued screaming forever afterwards
4925887
One can only hope!
Spanner is.... not a nice pony. I've been really rather mean to a llot of characters in my time as a writer. I hung Pinkie for Christ's sake!
That scene at the river, I laughed until I cried.
Bwhahahahaha! And it even worked!
Ooooo, and then took a bit of a dark turn with Fluttershy showing up.
4935024
Glad you continue to approve!
Yeah, I'm personally of the view that telling a comedy story - or at least, attempting to tell a good one - requires a few darker or otherwise emotionally dissonant moments amongst all the slapstick and one-liners. Something gut-wrenching or poignant breaks up what could become an otherwise tediously consistent emotional flow, as well as throwing the comedy into sharp relief by comparison.
Or if you're a sadistic bastard, it just makes the story even funnier. Whatever works.
I'm sure it's been said but.. Tirek can just sit there and let the CMC kill the poor bastard for him. Headbutted at transdimensional speeds, dragged down a road at high speeds, exposed to high altitude temperatures and rapid air pressure changes, knee destroyed, ligaments and tendons shredded by the death march, then his organs and danglies were abused. Actually, HOW is he even still alive? Is this karma for talking on a cell phone at the theatre or something?
And what's Sweetie going to do to him? Castration?
If Zecora can heal him and overcome the language barrier, I hope they bring their A game when it comes time to talk him out of killing them and making pony stew.
4941671
Don't forget the frequent head trauma.
There's a website that I've found particularly useful for Zecora's dialogue...
Sea ponies!
Also, Zecora does know where the Alicorn Amulet is.. It may be evil but it could serve for a 'Hail Mary' play if they're really desperate. Maybe they can rub it on the Tree of Harmony, get some Harmony juice on it.
And now the term 'Harmony Bukkake' is running through my mind.
4945547
Glad to hear it!
4945755
Been there. Stared in bewilderment at the options available.
Somewhere, there are some very confused MI6 agents sitting around a data printout and saying, "Why ... why's he now searching for 'rhymes with birth?' What's he doing? Are we obliged to stop it, whatever it is?"
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There are worse phrases to have going through your mind, I'm sure.
Not that I know what any of them might be be.
Damn, Angryshy is scary. I assume the stone shards were the remains of a statue?
4949465
That they were.
Well, it's good to see Yrr back in the land of the conscious...
And now let's see if the Crusaders can pull off their impossible plan.
Maybe they'll get their cutie marks in torture and interrogation.
4956248
Yrr might disagree with you there. Though I concur with the second part; I can't wait to find out how in the heck they're going to pull it off too!
4956290
I'm thinking a pair of pliers for Apple Bloom, an iron maiden for Sweetie Belle, and a bucket full of water and a cloth for Scootaloo. Thoughts, suggestions?
4956373
And bitten by a sea serpent. And drugged out his skull. And undergone the worst possible withdrawal from said drugging.
I love my characters, though my expressing of love is somewhat unorthodox.
4957261
The pliers work, but I'd personally give Sweetie crossed burning pokers and Scootaloo a whip.
4958844
A whip for Scootaloo works. The iron maiden for Sweetie Belle could work, I think, if you both accept that her special talent is music and apply some twisted brand of logic that involves a medieval torture implement and the name of a band.
This is why I can't be trusted to be left to conduct logic by myself.
4958906
Spikes? It links to the Iron Maiden, they're generally considered to be 'metal', and sometimes talking to Sweetie probably feels like getting a spike to the forebrain.
4958919
Good points. Spikes it is!
We should go into the logic business together. I approve of the way your brain works.
Yikes. Well, at least he'll have some awesome scars if any of them survive.
*standard cutie mark check*
4960311
"Yah reckon these are human pictograms we're lookin' at, girls? I'm not sure what 'DEAR GOD, WHY' refers to."
Ape Dynamics: Hit it until it does what you want. Works on TVs, should work on Tirek.
Daaammn, Apple Bloom. Doing the Apple family proud in the worst of circumstances.
Woah, that was a bit of a wham chapter.
*Dramatic music*
All the magic in Equestria, versus Applejack's family bonds. That... could be a close contest.
4970649
Works for me, certainly. Just wish it didn't make me go through so many appliances, pets, and friends so quickly.
4970650
Recognised it as whammy when I was writing it. I did have a quandry about whether it would require the age rating to be boosted, or even needed the Dark tag to be added. I think it ultimately falls within the bounds of the dramatic peril implied by the Adventure tag ... but I wouldn't mind a second opinion or two.
4970653
Nothing much closer.
4971805 I don't think either Teen or Dark are really needed, at least not yet. Probably depends on how the encounter in the throne room plays out. "Could I see this in a cartoon for children" is going through my mind and technically the answer is still yes.
4972342
...crap, cliches. Forgot about those.
Hold on, I need to edit all these heroic speeches, miraculous recoveries at the brink of defeat, falling chandeliers, Disney Deaths, overlords in spiked armour, OC alicorns, and Spike harems out of the next chapter. This may take a while.
So is apple jack dead?
4972674
Next chapter should reveal all.
4972679
Okay then. I shall wait and see...
4971805
I think I agree with you.
King Tirek can go lick a toilet bowl.