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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Silver "rested" his head...
The use of "emotion" twice is a bit awkward. I'd change that first instance to "feeling."
Silver cringed, and slowly "turned" to face...
This isn't an error per se, but I'd change that last part to "where you've gone."
Some harshly, and "some" so softly...
6126123 Fixed, thanks.
In a bit of a twist, Shei reveals she has reason to blame herself rather than blame Silver for bringing this on.
Her words weren't wrong, in terms of predicting Silver's reaction, at most he might have used it as a pretext in his dom play, but he would never have begrudged her a yummy treat if it was his to give.
Also.
Oww, the feels! Very moving chapter.
6126233 Of course Silver wouldn't mind. Sharing is caring.
Until it is poison.
This story is like taking a very satidsfying shit
6126137 Normally I tend to go on at length about a chapter, but for this one I'm really not sure what to say. Or rather, there simply isn't much for me to say here; there's no real analysis that can be conducted on an outpouring of emotion, where things are open and raw and hurting in the face of a tragedy.
One thing I did find very poignant was the call-back that Silver had to when he lost Celine, by asking where the rainbows were for him. That was very artfully done, as it reminds us that Silver has been down this road before, and once again he is denied miracles where other ponies (e.g. Twilight) have received them. There's a powerful theme to be found in that, though I don't think that the story is particularly interested in going there, understandably so.
I should mention also that Silver is rapidly falling back into bad habits. When he thought he had lost Fast Change forever, he became so wrapped up in his own pain that he forgot everypony around him. I say that not because I think he's going to commit suicide again, but rather because, the same way he forgot how much Night Watch was hurting, he seems to be forgetting the way Shei is hurting here. It's fairly obvious that she's suffering worse than he is - while he may have become very close to Aila very quickly, Shei has been close to her sister her entire life. Worse, Shei is convinced that this is her fault, as that heart-wrenching final paragraph demonstrates.
Simply put, Silver doesn't have the luxury of throwing everything aside to wallow in his pain here (it's good that he was able to function enough to start to see to Aila's casket, but the way he very nearly threw away his last chance to say goodbye was worrisome, even if it was understandable). I say that because he has a responsibility to Shei, and not just because he's her master - he's the only thing she has left now. Shei has just lost her inn and her sister, which together were the sum total of what she had, save for Silver (Celestia really doesn't count, as she was always more of an adjunct to Silver than anything else where the Windsongs were concerned).
If Silver doesn't realize that he needs to be there for Shei, well...I'm concerned that the next suicide attempt won't be his. They never said that they dumped that poison candy, after all.
6126414 Silver is not one to normally ignore an outright cry for help, which is basically what Shei dropped at the end. When faced with duty, he has always shoved his personal pains aside and tried to rise up to them. Shei is hurting, and made it clear enough to penetrate even his thick haze of loss, and he will do his best to do right by her.
It's what Aila would want. And to let her down, and to let Shei down... I don't think he could stand the very idea of it.
I have read sooo many sad stories today and all I got was the feeling of someone crushing my throat.
Aila Windsong. "I... I can't chase you where you've gone. I can't be your master. You're free now, Aila. You're free to run wherever your hooves take you." He stopped, tears overwhelming him again. "I hope you're happy, wherever you are." Did ponies have a religion? He didn't know, but it wouldn't help him at that moment. "Goodbye..."
sorry I just can't comment on this chapter.
the curse of a alicorn to out live every one you love to watch your hole family fade away to memory's.
6126605 I am really not sure what to take from that.
6126605 Still trying to put this together. Are you saying Aila was offed in a bland way? Or that her going was treated lightly and off-camera? I don't get it. It doesn't make sense from any angle I can find except as a strange attack? Help me understand.
Are they going to go after the one who poison them? I don't mean kill lots of cat's but bring to justest the one who did this.
They wood look week if they do not fix this out rage.
Dragonfox
6127971 You mean repeat the mistake that led to this counterattack in the first place? Are you advocating they truly wage war? For that matter, who is to say only one cat sent a nasty surprise? They don't know, and it's past the point of caring. They played their hand far too heavily and got slapped across the collective snouts for it. It's time to leave with some scrap of dignity.
The feels man just
silver you need to help sheI through this storm!
6127971 I'm not sure that they would look "weak" to leave now, since while it might become public knowledge that one of Silver's servants has died, the exact details seem less obvious.
To be sure, those who are in a position to know will probably have most of the relevant facts, but well...there's not much that can be done about that. Ultimately, Silver and co. were never in a position to try and reform the entire country, sweeping away all internal rebellion to their ally's (e.g. Amenti's) rule. What's happened now happened because they temporarily forgot that and tried to alter the entire political landscape. The worst thing they could do now would be to try that again.
6143340 It was just as bad writing it, but it felt like it would be a horrible betrayal not to.
6143734 have you ever heard of The immortal's dilemma ? Its a good read.
ensorcelled
But Dave can resist song magic. Hmm.
6850832 Damn you for making me re-read that scene again... Crud, it still smacks me across the face.
6851238 Oh crud, this one sucked. I slaughtered so many tissues for Aila it wasn't funny. Your writing is so good that I've sunk too a low I haven't felt since my own mother passed some years ago, this over a character in a story for pity's sake.
David Silver, I when i hear this song, https://youtu.be/cOLTrrcWE5c
All I can think about is Celestia singing it to Silver.
THE FEELS
6128164
It's a game of tit for tat that I believe started with the Anugyptian bounty on Celestia.
Unfortunately, in these games of tit for tat, every evidence we've seen shows we're dealing with two very different outlooks.
1: Celestia and Silver - fight back as necessary to end the bloodshed
2: Anugyptian aggressors - fight whenever able, intending to strike down Celestia and Silver
Unfortunately, leaving with "what dignity you can" does nothing for the core problem (exceptionally hostile and aggressive anti-foreign faction), and in fact, likely will embolden them to be more aggressive. ("Victory! We scared off Celestia herself!")
This is also a direct assault on a foreign leader. Even if Celestia and Silver don't do anything themselves, failing to pressure Amenti to deal with this rogue faction harshly is just stupid.
It is strange, having a target search spell and casting an effect on this target, do not apply it ..
Search for the one who ordered it to be done, apply an effect similar to an order ... or specifically note the goal and those who knew about it ..
In any case, there are a lot of such inconsistencies, so there is no point in painting them all..
*violence breeds violence - therefore, those who initiate it must be removed, otherwise they will do it again and again
they do not look into the mirror.. are you?