• Member Since 28th Jul, 2014

The One Hammer


A legend starts... Tomorrow

Comedy 36 stories
  • Comedy 36 stories - 46 unread chapters Here there be laugher
    Created by The One Hammer
    - May, 2015
Found 31 stories in 254ms

Total Words: 1,334,964
Estimated Reading: 3 days

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This story is a sequel to A [Fe]Male Perspective of Equestria


Six months. A lot can change in such a short time. Like going from a human guy on Earth to a female alicorn in Equestria. I may be mostly used to my new body, but I still haven't found my place here. Being an alicorn has only made things worse... everyone expects great things from me, and too many ponies look up to me for no other reason than because of what I am. Hopefully I can figure this out sooner rather than later...


Looking to explore the concept of how a blank-flank alicorn would fit into Equestria... without the stupid silly charisma, insane magical ability, or supersonic flight capacity. I know alicorn OCs have some stigma to them that instantly labels them as a Mary/Gary Stu, but I plan to avoid all of that silliness.

A sequel to A [Fe]Male Perspective of Equestria (can't link directly due to NSFW content), now with much less insanity, but with the same amount of comedy. Reading this is not required, although it is recommended. If sex is not your thing, all three chapters marked with (***) are skippable without losing any story content. The writing is crude/humorous/unedited, please be aware of that.

NOTE - Tags. While the protagonist was human in the previous story, I am leaving the [Human] tag off. This is not a Human-In-Equestria story, please do not add it to any Human-related groups.

Explicit sexual scenes are being left out of this story submission. When I get to them, there will be a note saying to go to its prior story, as I will be posting the scenes on there.

Chapters (5)
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Sphinxes. Creatures from ancient Anugypt, shrouded in mystery, myth, and superstition.

When an archaeology caravan passes through Ponyville carrying the find of the century--four mummified sphinxes--an ancient Anugyptian curse awakens and regenerates the Sphinx Queen Neferkitti and her retainers.

Now, four mysterious creatures from another place and time are on the loose...and mildly annoying the citizens of Ponyville.

(Cover art by zimvader42, used with permission.)

Chapters (4)
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When Twilight Sparkle decides to try a new spell she has perfected, she successfully pulls a being from another universe into Equestria. That being coincidentally is a human...that human coincidentally is you. What at first just seems like an opportunity for first contact between two species soon becomes something much more when certain truths are brought to light...and everything you knew about your life is flipped onto its head.

NOTE: At times in this story, the main character's thought process will be shown as an inner monologue with his brain. BRAIN's dialogue will appear in this color of text.

Chapters (7)
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This story is a sequel to A Stallion for the Time Being


Minuette likes strong drinks, good-looking stallions, and Twilight Sparkle (who upon occasion has been known to be a good-looking stallion). Oh, and she's the physical embodiment of the metaphysical concept of 'Time'.

Twilight Sparkle likes books, rationally-developed hypotheses, and Minuette (in any form). Plus, she happens to be the incredibly powerful alicorn Princess of Science (totally a real thing).

Together, they have a perfectly happy (if complicated) relationship. But Ponyville has more than its fair share of mysteries, and when trouble comes knocking... Minuette is there to pretend she's not home.

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This story is a continuation of sorts to A Stallion for the Time Being, though reading it is not strictly necessary. These short standalone stories are a change of pace for me, focused on Twilight and Minuette dealing with a variety of supernatural shenanigans. More to come as ideas strike me!

Edited by: Exuno
Preread by: barbeque
Cover image by: Ghost

Chapters (6)
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Anon is a cheap bastard, and hates paying to stay at places. Ergo, when Twilight threatens him with either paying rent or writing weekly friendship letters for room and board, Anon takes the free route. Too bad the free route is filled with frustration, confusion, and autism. Otherwise known as interacting with the local populace of Ponyville at least once a week.

>topkek

TRIGGER WARNINGS: this fic includes racial, homophobic, and equine slurs that are used purely for comedy's sake and are not meant to offend or cause a problem in the community... mostly.


"For some reason I've chosen to write more letters to that stupid Princess. Let me know who you want me to write about for future chapters." –Anonymous


PROFESSIONAL REVIEWS

:applejackunsure: –Okter

"Thank you for confirming my suspicion that Anon is gay." –Uniame

"So, did they get sexual harassment cutie marks?" –DRaily

"What the fuck anon" –Qaz223

"ANON DID NOTHING WRONG" –nothingtoseehere

"So majestic" –Xzaves

Chapters (6)
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I am... or rather was your average twenty year old male brony. But let me introduce myself first, my name is Mi-... gah! dangit! was Mitchell and my favorite My Little Pony background character is Vinyl Scratch (or DJ-P0N3 for some). One day comic-con showed up in my hometown and instead of going as some silly anime or game character like all the other plebs, I went as the Equestria Girls version of Vinyl Scratch. I know, I know she is a girl but... it IS funny seeing the faces I get.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I bought the last missing piece of my cosplay, which was really just a pair of headphones that looked just like the ones the EQG Vinyl wore during the "Music to my Ears" short. That got me sent to Equestria many years in the past and, after a series of events (It was an accident!), I got myself stuck in stone.

I got out thanks to Dissy. And now that I'm free, I'll be here to spread the wubs! If only those uncool Daft Punk looking ponies would just leave me alone...

Chapters (17)
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Ugh.
Alright, do you want some advice?
Don't go evil if you don't want to have heroes trying to kill you repeatedly. I know, sometimes you have to do things that are morally questionable, but at others, just be a good guy. Wait in line rather than summon a horde of undead to tear the throats out of everybody except the barista. Or just freeze everybody in place. That's at least funny in a conventional sense.
I'm (sort of) reformed now.
Unfortunately, there're these six mares and their ruler who are making this VERY DIFFICULT.

EDIT: After four days, the Featured streak has ended. It was a good run.
EDIT: Featured again on 10 May? Aw, stahp it guys. Stahp.

EDIT: New coverart courtesy of Leila Drake. Go to her and commission stuff.

Chapters (20)
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A changeling gets a very risky and clever idea.
Pretending to be an advanced magic doll left as an anonymous gift in front of Twilight Sparkle's home.
It's so audaciously stupid there is no way it's not going to work.

Chapters (12)
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My name is Twilight Sparkle, and I am a wraith.


A comment driven story following an alternate universe where Twilight is hundreds of years old, Sunset stayed Celestia's pupil, and everyone has the hots for Twaith. Okay, almost everyone. Lets see where this goes!

Teen Sex because of expectations of the internet... and myself.

Join the Twaithverse here!

Thank you to TheStarsOfPines for the current cover art.

Here is the original, confusing, cover art.
Here is the second cover art that had been used.
The third! Done by the same as the current.

Chapters (54)