"VHAT IN ALL OF EQUESTRIA HAS HAPPENED HERE?!"
When Amber Glow and her assistants arrived at the exhibit pavilion, they found everything in shambles...again.
The crates and trunks were smashed to pieces, ransacked. The canvas was shredded. The support posts had been scratched up.
Worst of all, the four mummies were missing.
"This is a disaster!" one of the pegasi with the caravan exclaimed, clutching his head with his hooves.
"This is a catastrophe!" an earth pony wailed, swooning.
"This is a mess," a unicorn mare said with a shake of her head.
"Good morning, esteemed colleagues!" Rosetta Stone called cheerfully as he trotted up the road from the castle. "Are we ready to thrill and delight the good ponies of Ponyville with—" He trailed off, blinking as he surveyed the destruction. "Oh. Oh dear."
Amber Glow rounded on him. "DU!" she screeched. "HAFF YOU DONE ZIS?!"
"How could I possibly have—"
"Why would you suspect this pony of causing this?" a calm voice asked from behind Rosetta Stone.
"BECAUSE HE IST EIN DUMMKOPF, UND—" Amber Glow trailed off as she realized she was addressing none other than Princess Twilight Sparkle. "Und..."
"And Rosetta Stone was my guest at my castle all night last night," Twilight said. She blinked as the implications of her statement caught up to her, and blushed. "Umm, we were discussing Anugypt, and Lionaptra! I was fascinated by his studies and translations." She looked around at the ruined exhibit. "Could this have been the work of thieves?"
Amber Glow frowned. "Perhaps," she admitted. "Ve vere carrying many priceless treasures of ancient Anugypt. But..." She scratched her chin. "Surely thieves vould haff been more...careful."
Rosetta Stone carefully picked his way among the ruins of the exhibit. "My word," he said. "If I didn't know better, I'd say it looked as though an entire herd of angry cats went through here." He lifted a slat from a broken crate in his magic, tilting it around. "See the way the wood here is curled? Mum's old ginger used to do this to the furniture..."
"Yeah, Rosie, I...don't think cats did this," the pegasus said.
"Wait a second," Twilight said as she joined Rosetta Stone in inspecting the debris. She poked at part of a crate with her hoof. "Look at the way the boards are scattered. Isn't this right here the inside part of the crate?"
"I think so," Rosetta Stone said.
Twilight looked around at everypony. "Then why's this side all scratched up?" She shook her head, then turned her attention to Amber Glow. "Are you in charge here?"
"Ja."
"I need to know everything that's missing," Twilight said. "A complete inventory of all the artifacts, so I'll be able to organize a search and investigation."
"Of course, Your Highness," Amber Glow said, bowing.
"The main thing missing are the mummies," the other unicorn mare in the group said. "Who'd steal four mummies, though?"
"Yeah," agreed the earth pony mare. "I mean, the royal headdress of Neferkitti and the various jewelry and such, those are valuable, but..."
"But mummies...it wouldn't make sense to steal those," Twilight agreed with a frown. "Unless..." She shook her head. "We need to look for clues..."
"TWILIGHT!" a voice yelled from high above. Rainbow Dash swooped down, braking in midair. "There's somethin' REALLY weird goin' on!"
Twilight looked up. "What is it, Rainbow Dash? And can you handle it without me? We've got a crisis here—"
"PONYVILLE'S got a crisis!" Rainbow interrupted. She frowned. "Well, not so much a crisis as something just plain freakin' weird, but..." She shook her head. "No, it's definitely a crisis! Twilight," she said, grabbing Twilight's face with her hooves, "all the water in Ponyville has turned into milk!"
"WHAT?!" Twilight yelled, teleporting two paces away and flaring her wings. "What do you mean all the water in Ponyville has turned into milk?"
"I mean all the water," Rainbow said slowly, making a waves-on-water motion with her hooves, "has turned," she made a turning motion, "into MILK," she finished, pantomiming milking a cow.
Twilight groaned. "Well that sounds like Discord," she said, "but I thought he was in Canterlot..."
"Excuse me," Amber Glow interrupted, stepping forward. "Did you say all ze vater in town has turned into milk?"
"How many freakin' times do I gotta say it?" Rainbow cried, throwing her hooves up in frustration.
The earth pony from the EEHS began trembling. "The curse," she said quietly. "The curse!" Without warning, she tore off into town at full gallop, screaming at the top of her lungs. "BEWARE OF THE CURSE!"
Twilight blinked at this, then turned to Amber Glow. "Would you mind explaining that?" she asked.
Amber Glow frowned. "Zere iz zis ancient Anugyptian curse," she said. "Ze curse says ze Queen of ze Sphinxes vill rise again und valk ze vorld as ein abomination..."
"That old nonsense?" Rosetta Stone said, snorting and scoffing. "I was just telling the Princess about that last night. Why, I even read her my transcription of the heiroglyphs from Lionaptra!"
Amber Glow froze. "You...you read ze vords from ze tomb?"
"Well, yes."
"Out loud?"
"That is how it generally works..."
Amber Glow got in Rosetta Stone's face, glaring angrily and snorting steam. "DUMMKOPF!" She began waving her hooves around. "YOU HAFF DOOMED US ALL!"
Rosetta Stone drew back, then laughed. "Oh, Dr. Glow...surely you don't believe in all this curse rot! It's silly superstition!"
"Anugyptian curses aren't something you screw around with, lad," the EEHS pegasus said softly. "According to legend, sphinx magic was powerful, chaotic, dark, and dangerous."
Twilight stepped forward, frowning. "Excuse me," she said. "Are you saying you believe four ancient, dessicated, mummified sphinxes have returned from the dead?"
"Ja," Amber Glow said, nodding. "Ze vater into ze milk iz ze first sign. Ze first of ze nine plagues, prophesied by ze ancient pony slaves of Anugypt."
"Nine lives, nine plagues," her compatriot agreed. "As the Sphinx Queen regains each of her nine lives, the plagues will fall one by one."
"Ven all nine of ze plagues have befallen Equestria, ze curse vill be consummated, und ze Sphinx Queen will be fully restored, mit all ze vast und horrible power she once possessed," Amber Glow said.
"Come on," Twilight said with a laugh. "This is...this is silly! I'm sure this whole thing is Discord, or...or something simple..."
Rosetta Stone frowned, examining the broken crates and shredded canvas again. "It...it does look as though the crates were clawed...from the inside..."
The ponies looked around at each other.
Twilight's ears wilted. "Oh horseapples..."
* * * * *
A long strip of dry, dusty bandages fell to the ground beside a lake full of milk. A rough tongue lapped up milk, slapping against dry, dessicated lips that were slowly regaining moisture and color.
"Ahh...that hits the spot." More bandages fell to the ground.
A mostly grey, emaciated sphinx with sunken, shriveled eyes, a thin, ragged mane, and wilted wings stretched. Ragged holes in her parchment-like hide revealed dessicated flesh, ravaged by centuries beneath the sands.
Around her stood three other shriveled, dessicated sphinxes, still wrapped in bandages. Two of them were carrying piles of gold and jewels. "Mewyet, Hennutawny," the unwrapped mummy said, "my royal dressings."
"Yes, my Queen," the two mummies carrying the gold said. Working swiftly, they adorned Queen Neferkitti with her crown and an assortment of jewels.
"Much better," Neferkitti said. She turned to the last of the mummies. "Drink, Ankhsenpawten. You must regain your strength. We have much to do."
"Will you find him, Mother? Will you find Prince Tomcathep?"
"Yes, my daughter. I will have my prince. And then," Neferkitti said, "I will consummate the curse, and we will rule. The cats, the jackals, and the ponies...all will bow before their rightful Queen..."
All we need is some dogs or wolves.
....
♪Discoooord, I'm howlin' at the moon...♫
I like it!
No, not milk! I'm mildly intolerant!
Should we be worried? I'm not that worried...
Oh man... This doesn't bode well. Four power hungry, undead, chaos-using villains are sure to cause a lot of... well... chaos.
Also, it is really difficult to picture the sphinxes as they currently are in the art-style of the show. Kind of uncanny-valley, if you ask me.
Can't wait for the next chapter.
It begins. Funny how if something strange or 'chaotic' happens they immediately believe Discord did it.
Discord: Hey, I have feelings too you know!
ancient badger curses are nothing to sneeze at...
cdn.meme.am/images/5670846.jpg
Well, this is just as glorious as the first chapter. Looking forward to the next eight plagues.
6571256 You look in that direction too much. I grew up on scooby doo. And what did mummy pharoahs do? Moan.
Is this story for halloween or Pesach?
Three things I love! You got my attention!
6572902 And once more, UniqueSKD stood in triumph as he won the argument.
And thus the brony fandom hailed him as their king, and Obabscribbler and EileMonty finally gave in to their lusts for him.
Now, kneel before me, little one, and thou shalt be spared from thine wrath!
6573293 They only moan because they knew they were in a low-budget Scooby-Doo cartoon.
"Oh no, not another Scooby-Doo cartoon! I could have gotten a better gig in that second The Mummy movie..."
6571262 :hasn't read story yet:
:reads quote:
:looks oddly at final bit:
:realises it's backwards:
:figures out what it's saying:
:giggles:
Why would Twilight dismiss the curse out of hoof given what's she's encountered in her life?
In this universe I would just accept curses as another form of dark magic.
So...
Who is Neferkitti going to mistake for Tomcathep?
Spike?
Big Mac?
Caramel?
Fancy Pants?
Rosetta?
Rainbow Dash?
Maybe... Maybe even Twilight?
Am I the only one who thinks the Prince is going to turn out to have been Discord back when he was a prankster and took a Sphinx form for the fun of it? Or, alternatively, he was said Prince but draconequi are to Sphinxes as alicorns are to the other three pony tribes?
That was fun, may I have another? Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
and then *watches a huge pillar of solar energy incinerate the mummified remains to sum-atomic particles.* that happened.
I was half expecting Neferkitti to be attacked by a very upset squid monster mid-drink. Remember the one-eyed thing that lives in Ponyville's lake and frightened the CMC that one time?
6573471 Because she believes in magic, not superstitions, and curses are usually superstition.
You know what Twilight needs? Flamethrowere. Should be standard issue, really. Mummies are dry, dry things burn, ergo, mummies burn really easily.
6573905 yeah Twilight's win lose ratio versus Superstition is not very good. its been a running gag in some fics about all the myths the mane six face on a daily bases,\ Nightmare Moon,Discord, the cursed Chrystal Empire, pinkies precognition,The Tree of Harmony you'd really think shed learn by now.
6573121 Well...cats are capable of howling, though it's more of a yowl. I think it's usually a sign of heat, if not used to intimidate during a fight.
Maybe Twilight should get Discord. Doesn't he have experience with the Anugyptions? And I doubt Luna and Celestia will be very happy that such a threat is present within their borders. Buck off, Tirek. Neferkitti has real power!
*downloads* I am SO reading this later. You had my mild interest until the last line of the summary, and then I was hooked!
wonderful chapter
6574057 Ah but see, Twilight is a Princess. She doesn't need to go running off to Celestia and Luna for every little thing when she's supposed to be the one protecting Ponyville. Her and her friends, that is.
Oh boy...
6573918
Quit true, hell they were used as firewood back before Tutankhamun was found.
Wait... Amber Glow?
Isn't she one of the Commissar's Funky Friends?
6573491
My money is on Blue Blood. It would be pretty funny as he needs to doge the advances of a very determined women.
6574256 I don't think she should, but nonetheless...if they find out, they might be a bit upset. At least, Luna should be. Tia would probably grab popcorn or something, letting Twilight handle it all despite Luna's protests. And because of that, she would sulk into the kitchen and steal her sister's cake in petty revenge.
I have a question, though, that I just thought about. What is the range of Neferkitti's plagues? Is it limited to Ponyville at the moment? Or are some poor bastards in Canterlot who were bathing (hopefully including one or both of the Princesses) suddenly finding themselves stained white with milk? Milk is supposed to be good for the skin though, right? So at least there's that...and possibly a cat uprising, that might or might not be purposeful. I just want to see someone running away from a bunch of cats because they smell like or are covered in milk.
6574580 For the moment, it's limited to Ponyville.
6574529 Thank you for your comments and criticism.
6574596 I demand a shipping!
6574529
I love it when people post a detailed synopsis of my exact sentiments!
6573471
Remember Poison Joke episode? Twilight flat out dismissed the existence of curses, and was convinced they didn't exist. She then considered the revelation of the plant causing it as proving her right.
There seems to be a serious gap in magical education in Equestrian culture.
6575183 Okay Twilight, your world has alchemy, Dark Magic, Chaos Magic, enchanted items, items of great power that exist as part of the natural order, magic that feeds off others magic, magic that can change one's self, and much more, Curses and hexes are the least difficult forms of magic to believe in a world whose only confirmed form of magic is alchemy which is now called a science and was renamed to chemistry.... you cant say shit about it not existing....
6575099 Well, there's the Book of the Dead, from The Mummy series, then there's the Necronomicon from Evil Dead...if anyone has other examples, feel free to list them.
6574927 Hey, if going into professional/technical writing (not sure if that's exactly how the Minor is worded, but, oh well), I have to start somewhere, right?
6573360
If you think that's going to happen, you've been eating some those moorhsum.
Uh oh...Uh...Where are some GOOD Sphinxes when ya need them...?
In reality, you sold me at Neferkitty in the description. I read it just to make sure this is going straight to my fav.
6575824 Oh I don't think. I know.
Because despite my flaws and imperfections, I'm a nice charming person who's gonna get his turn under the spotlight one day in this fandom. And when I do, I want to have as many friends and followers as possible standing with me under that light.
But enough about me. We're commenting on somebody's story, and I imagine they'd rather have criticism and proper comments than our conversation, yes?
6575311
And yet she does. She also yells about things not being scientifically possible.
Twilight is a very bad scientist.
and of course the final curse is a record playing:
rrrrreeeeeeturrrrrrn the slaaaaab or sufferrrrr my currrrrse....
6572413 Make me! *Slams door shut*
Another hit double M
The first of the 10 Plagues of Egypt. Fortunately, there won't be the plague of death. That would be bad...
Exodus 7:19
Hah.
Pharoah Moans.
Like, "Pheremones".
I see what you did there.
6575311
I mean seriously, what else would you call a self-perpetuating detrimental magical affliction?