Dear Princess Celestia,
Carrot Cake touched my dick.
I think he might be gay.
–Anon
Celestia put down the letter, quirking an eyebrow disbelievingly. Why would Anonymous send a letter so short and... calm? It really made no sense to her. The last two letters she had gotten were little more than rants at perceived wrongs committed against him, which she had really gotten a kick out of. She saved them just for Luna, in fact, as they made her guffaw as she was reminded of the ancient practices of extreme racial prejudice. Celestia would say that it was a bad habit of her sister's, but it kept her happy.
Thinking on Anon's character, however, the letter she had on the table was very unlike him. Perhaps something was wrong? Was he really thinking so deeply into what could have been an accidental bump? After all, most ponies came up to Anon's thighs, so Carrot Cake's head would be at the same elevation as Anon's pelvic area. It was more likely that it was an accident rather than something as preposterous as a hidden lust from a married man with two foals.
A flash of magic, stinking of "lol, you fuckin' thought", and another letter materialized in Celestia's magical grasp. She slowly opened the letter and began to read.
He was a total fruit, so I uppercut him and told his wife.
–Anon
Celestia put that letter with the other and tapped her chin. Maybe she didn't know enough about pony psychology to proper estimate how her subjects actually work in this day and age. It was probable that pony mental faculties were quickly shifting, or maybe they had been slowly evolving over time, invisible to her watchful eye.
Whatever it was, Celestia could care less, and she filed the two-part letter away with the others and eagerly awaited next week's letter. Hopefully it would be more exciting and less... gay.