//------------------------------//
// Oh, glorious day~ 
// Story: The life and times of Xante, Baron of the Frozen Wastelands, First among Liches, Lord of the Dead, and Fabulous Rainbow Magic User. 
// by Ssendam the Masked 
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As soon as it was light, I jumped out of bed and paced around while distractedly flinging off my night-garments and placing them neatly on the corner of my bed. After that little escapade in Silent Hill, all I'd really done was talk to Twilight about the nature of the multiverse and banning her from touching the mirror unless I was there to supervise. Then, I'd talked to her friends, and we'd agreed to go for a friendly, light lunch in the Everfree. My mind had been a bit distracted while all the planning for this event had been going on and now I could really marshall my thoughts and assess what had happened. The past day, I'd barely managed to escape from another dimension, evaded a goddess and her crony, and then mocked them from a safe distance. I had achieved a lot of crazy things that day. Pushing a goddess to their very limits, forcing them to banish me from that plane, was a pretty damn good achievement.

And I hated how weak I'd become.

Don't get me wrong, I was still very powerful, but that little adventure had taught me one thing: I was seriously off my game. Time was when I could challenge the gods themselves to a fair fight, and oftentimes I'd won fair and square. I'd so desperately hoped to gain entrance to whatever the gods were doing that was more important than the Bifrost that I'd barely noticed how badly my skills had deteriorated. I was at about fifty percent of my full skill level.

My power hadn't deteriorated, that wasn't really what I meant. What I meant was that my reaction time, my speed, and my control had rusted away to the level of a novice. I was going to need to reteach myself how to fight and use magic as properly as it should be. My reserves had barely rusted away, so that was going to be easy- in fact, I might as well make them even stronger than they were in my heyday as... as the Bifrost. 

I was the Bifrost, formerly. But I had changed as a man. That much was certain. My life experiences had changed me from a rather naïve guy to a more confident, stronger person. I would never willingly slip back into my Bifrost persona. 

"What's the matter with you, Xante? In my heyday, that Metalhead guy would have been a minor nuisance, not some insurmountable obstacle that made it practically impossible to escape!" I berated myself. It was the very height of arrogance to assume that after a thousand years, my skills in magic and fighting hadn't rusted away through sheer lack of use. Still, I had plans for that. Starting today, I was going to get some much needed practise in, whet my skills of magic and combat to their previous edge and then confront the gods about my fate. But first, time for some healthy yoga.

Just because I was undead didn't mean that I shouldn't keep my body in the best shape it could possibly be. I stripped down to my underwear and started warming up. Then, I began my little routine, stretching my muscles and limbering up. I'd done this routine for over a thousand years, even in my prison cell I'd found the space to do it, though I'd nearly burned myself a couple of times doing so. Even if it was only a picnic, these 'Elements of Harmony,' as they were described, had gotten into some crazy adventures by the sounds of things.

"Um... what are you doing?" Without turning my head, I pulled my leg behind my head. "Good morning to you, good drake."
The little purple dragon came down, staring at me as I dropped to the ground and put my legs over my head. 
"Yeah, but seriously, what are you doing?" 
I looked at him from my rather contorted position. "This is yoga. It helps me focus as well as gets me limber for the day's challenges. After this, it's meditation and then I'll be up."
Spike looked at me. "Seems kind of painful..."
I nodded. "You don't do this if you haven't spent a fair time doing yoga. Maybe I could teach you a bit of yoga. It's great. I taught a class once."
I frowned as the memories came flooding back. "Though I will admit, that was an experience that I would rather forget."
Dwarf women were notorious for being blockheaded, bulky and bearded. And it had not really been my intention to end up teaching an entire class of them. it was a long story as to how I was able to get to that position, and a slightly longer one to explain how I managed to finally stop the dwarven yoga madness.

I shuddered briefly before repressing the memory once again. Spike just looked at me. "Anyway, breakfast in five, so be there or miss it." 
I shrugged, magically summoning my clothes. "Works for me."

Breakfast was consumed without comment.I was eager to start my personal practise, without other people getting in the way. Then, we simply walked. I fingered my clothes as we walked. Auric had done a good job, but I was going to need some genuine-

Whomp.

For the second time in two days, I felt something small, fast and above all hard smash into me. As I fell down, Twilight's mouth opened, I reflected on how rusty my reflexes had gotten. Or maybe it was that I wasn't really expecting anything to crash into me. Or repeat what had happened in another dimension. Seriously, if this is going to happen on EVERY VISIT, I swear to whatever god still favours me that I have a merciful death.

"Sorry, miss Twi! We didn't mean ta' hit him!" Ah, that would be the one known as Applebloom, or something. I risked a look upwards. Hardwearing denims, red shirt, yep, normal. "Twilight, it's alright. Kids will be kids." I pushed myself up, dusting off my robes.
"However..." The air got slightly colder. As one, they shivered. "Don't crash into me again, okay? Or I'll tell your parents."
As if they were some kind of hive mind, they nodded, and quickly scarpered. I chuckled good naturedly, then turned to Twilight, who was looking at me with mild disapproval. 

I shrugged into a more defensive position. "What?" Twilight sighed.
"Well, I was kind of afraid that you'd... I don't know, flip out at them." 
I shook my head. "I can assure you, Twilight, that the only thing I hate more in the world than the one who sent me here is people making children cry. There are some boundaries that should not be crossed unless under the most dire of circumstances." That was why some of the more... unscrupulous members of the family had utilised spells that relied on happy children to power them. Your typical hero would only actually make a child unhappy if there was no other recourse- I will admit, I often used that ploy. It makes sense when you're dealing with bleeding heart heroes like that.

The picnic passed without event. We talked, on both what had happened to them prior to my meeting them, as well as Twilight and I explaining what had just happened. In general, it was your normal picnic, though I deeply missed eating meat. Then again, when in Tascar, do as the Tascarans do, I always say- even though I disagreed with eating hay. It was what happened afterwards that was really interesting. As we were packing up, I felt a familiar tug. I winced, then turned to Twilight. "Right, something big's pulling me over to their side. I'll probably be back son, mkay?"
Twilight glared at me disapprovingly. "What's happening? Don't tell me that Auric's-"
I cut her off. "Oh, no, it's not Auric, though there are similarities. I'm meeting with gods from my world. I should be back; they wouldn't kill me just yet." The magical energy built up around me, indicating a Phaseshift. Never liked travelling that way, to be honest. Always made me feel as if I was being torn apart by wild wolves.
Twilight just looked at me. "Xante, who were you before you came here?"
I looked at her. "...not a very nice person. I'll explain later."

And with that, I was pulled out of space, and into the Void Eternal. I blinked a bit, still disorientated, then focused on the table in front of me. So, it seems as if the gods have finally gotten off their lazy asses and gotten around to talking to me. It was about damn time. 

Sitting there, in a form that my formerly living eyes could see and comprehend, were five of the gods of Ranreia. There was, of course, Thrin, the Thunder Clap. He glared at me, with eyes that crackled with lightning. Sparks fizzled through his mighty beard as we looked at each other. He was the first to break the silence.
"Well met... Bifrost." 
I nodded coolly. "Though I dislike the title, it belongs to me, Thrin... the Pantied."
He glared at me and stood up. His chair scraped across The Void like an angry cat. Thunder boomed around him, and his blue-white aura flared up around him. The stench of ozone increased as he bellowed in a voice like the first peal of thunder, "you DARE-" 

"Hold your tongue, Thrin. Since you were the one to use that term, I do believe he is justified in mentioning one of your... unfortunate lapses in judgment, hmm?" The wily, oily voice of the Charmspeaker wormed its way through my head. His snake-like features looked so damn punchable, that I would gladly unleash that were I not summoned here. Instead, I greeted him in a friendly way. And by friendly, I meant in a thinly veiled insult that would probably be repaid in full later.
"Hello to you, Charmspeaker. How's the family?"
He smiled, showing his teeth. That had been a touch, one that he would admit to himself later, when nobody was watching. "All the better for you asking, thank you." It was a well-known fact that the Charmspeaker was infertile. 

"Oh, would you just get this over with? I want to get back to sleep." 
The calm, unfazed voice of Framlio drifted through the empty space. Lounging back on his chair, he had assumed the form of a thin, pale teenager, though his eyes glimmered with fire. Good reason for it, too- he was the God of Wrath, and though he was slow to anger, the last time he'd gotten pissed off, the universe he'd been in had been broken. Of the group, he was the only one who I felt any respecct for. I bowed deeply to him. "Framlio, I'm sorry to disturb you from your rest."

Thrin glared at me. "Regardless, we are here to talk about your fate, Bifrost." 
Charmspeaker nodded. "Indeed. We hear that you encountered a... human, who managed to show you all the pain you caused. What have you to say about your position?" 
I looked at him. "You know something? My fate is unfair. I'm trying to make up for it, and, well, I guess that I can't really. But I swear, I will never willingly turn back to my Bifrost persona."
Thrin frowned, crossing his mighty arms and glaring at me. "Not even if it meant being spared from your fate? Come on; show us the fury and disdain of the Bifrost."
This time, I was the one to glare at him. "With all due respect, Thrin: go fuck yourself. Not even to change my fate would I revert to my Bifrost persona. So get stuffed, you violent asshole."

Thrin turned purple with rage and tried to attack, but I nimbly dodged. Charmspeaker and Framlio looked at each other, and made a decision. Charmspeaker was the first to speak. "I have to say, Xante, you passed."
I looked at him. "...I'm sorry, could you repeat that?"
Framlio spoke. "Yeah, that's the test. Willingness to turn back to Bifrost. So, I guess you're off the hook. Your fate is now undecided, so no more divine protection against things that would ordinarily kill you." I frowned at that; gods rescinding their protection of me meant that I was going to have to come up with some other schmes and tricks in order to ensure my survival. Framlio continued, his pinkie finger now in his nose. He idly scrwed it around as he continued, in a voice as mellow as water. "Have a good one, I'll be taking a nap."
Thrin, meanwhile, was still pissed off. "Framlio, you can't- he insulted-" He eventually realised that arguing was futile, and just gave up. 
"Fine. FINE! Don't tell me that I'm the only one who wanted this fucker's head on a pike." 

I waved at him. "I will send you a fruitbasket. A nice one, with all your favourites~!"
Thrin leapt at me, just as the Phaseshift ended and I was yanked back to Equestria like a violent bungee cord. As soon as I was back, I looked at Twilight with a huge grin, and let out my feelings: 

"Twilight, I feel fucking fantastic today!" I planted a big old wet smooch on her face, then ran off, cackling like a madman.
"Free! Free! Gloriously free!"
I gripped my cloak and let it just fly away... 

...where it turned back into leaves. Its myriad leaves lay there in the soil despondently. I picked them up, lip wobbling. Twilight gave me a weirded out face, while furiously wiping her mouth from my slightly sticky undead residue. Eh, whatever. She'll be fine.
"Twilight, my cloak kin of fell apart while at Auric's, so... could I bug your friend Rarity for a replacement?"