//------------------------------// // Babysitting your crusading owners. // Story: Changeling Doll // by Pickleless //------------------------------// Twilight nervously looked around, suspicious of the peace and quiet. She managed to have her morning coffee and nothing had gone horribly wrong yet. It was obviously a trap to lull her into a sense of security. She gathered a scroll along with a quill and ink. Quickly looking around to make sure nothing had spontaneously caught fire, she started to write a letter to Canterlot University while munching on her oats. Canterlot University I am currently in quite the dilemma. It was my birthday two days ago and on the way home I received a present from an anonymous sender. Inside was a life sized golem made from flesh and magic, remarkably similar to a changeling. Upon reading the instruction manual that came with the creature, I learned that this unique being was called a Changeling Doll. According to the doll, it came 'Straight from the brilliant minds of Canterlot University!' So far it has given me little reason to suspect it is actually a changeling, but I can't help but be concerned. Do you know who made the Changeling Doll? How was it made? How may I get into contact with it's creator or somepony who can give me more information? Please send a response back soon as possible. Twilight Sparkle "Spike, could you send this to..." Twilight trailed off when she remembered Spike had spent the night at Rarity's. Yesterday she went to her friend’s house only to find she had received a huge order. She tried her best to help, but it was clear that she was getting in the way more than helping. Spike on the other hoof had helped out Rarity countless times before and didn't need instruction like Twilight did. Giving up on explaining her situation to Rarity, she spent the rest of yesterday tracking down Rainbow Dash, only to find that the pegasus had disappeared. ‘The smug jerk is probably sitting in that closet with a stupid grin spread across his sexy-STUPID face! Stupid! Stupid stupid stupid...’ She berated herself. ‘I wonder if he even slept in there. Do magical dolls made of flesh need to sleep? How do they recharge? With magic? Batteries?’ Questions rolled back and forth inside her head, until a mental bell went off. 'The instruction booklet!' Twilight cheered. It wasn't much, but maybe the manual had a return address written in it in case the doll were to break. After a quick visit to the post office, she would read through it, from cover to cover and back again. The bell in her head rang again, confusing her until she realized the noise was very much real and coming from her front doors. Wondering who had come to visit, Twilight opened the crystal gate to see the beaming muzzles of the town’s favorite troublemakers. "Hi Twilight!!!" The Cutie Mark Crusaders yelled in unison. "H-hey girls," replied Twilight, shaking her head to get rid of the incessant ringing. "What brings you three here?" "Don'cha remember?" Applebloom asked, looking in disbelief at the princess. "It's Twilight Time!" Scootaloo cheered. Twilight's left eye twitched. "Oh... so it is! Come on in girls!" "Ere's ur ewspaper Wiright" Sweetie Belle said, her voice muffled by the newspaper in her mouth. "Uh... thanks Sweetie Belle." Twilight took the paper, trying to ignore the feeling of saliva on her hooves. Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle trotted inside. The three headed towards the practice room Twilight had set up for them. It was always nice to see the trio’s love for learning be performed in a safe, very controlled and very, VERY durable environment. Preferably also a fireproof one. She still had nightmares over ‘CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS FIREWORK MAKERS YAY!’ Still, those three were a trouble magnet, and there was a magnificent example of trouble lurking silently in the depths of her closet upstairs. She bit down on her hooves, her brain already overheating trying to think up as many back up plans as possible. Slowly walking towards the practice room, Twilight skimmed the news. 'Prince Blueblood got a sex change... Rainbow Dash is filing harassment charges against all the ponies who won't stop accusing her of being gay... Twilight Sparkle is keeping a stallion in her closet, literally... Shocking news, Braeburn confirmed to be asexual-' Twilight's eyes practically popped out of her head as she went back to reread that last part. "Braeburn is asexual?!? No WONDER we could never get a reaction out of him! We were so determined to hook up Fluttershy too- WAIT!!!" TWILIGHT SPARKLE IS KEEPING A STALLION IN HER CLOSET, LITERALLY! When a young mare went to visit our seemingly innocent princess, she found that Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship herself, had been keeping a hot, young, virile stallion in her closet. 'You didn't hear this from me darling, but it was about time that mare let loose.' Our anonymous equine reports. 'All work and no play makes Twilight a dull mare! A little romance in her life is just what she needs right now!' We've yet to get a picture or the name of this lucky stallion, but rest assured, we are on the case! Twilight's eye twitched, "Rarity..." "Hey Twilight, what's taking you so... Twilight?" Scootaloo got a very bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. "Rarity!..." Twilight growled. "R-Rarity? What did Sweetie Belle's older sister do?" stammered out the filly, instantly regretting the question. "RARITYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!" "GIRLS! WE HAVE A PROBLEM!" screamed the young pegasus, running back into the practice room. Still huffing with rage, Twilight whipped her head to glare with accusation at the ceiling. “This is all your fault!” she huffed, scowling. Her birthday was supposed to be a happy day, but now she looked back at it with regret. Then she got an idea! An awful idea! Twilight got a wonderful, awful idea! 'I know just what to do!' she laughed in her throat. She conjured a quick Santy Claws hat and a- Twilight stopped and blinked. "What am I doing?!?" She poofed her hat away and headed into the practice room. "Applebloom, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle!" she called, "I need to go grab somepony upstairs real quick. Don't touch anything yet, okay?" "S-somepony upstairs?" Applebloom asked nervously. "I'll be just a second~!" the mare replied mirthfully. Heading upstairs and into her bedroom, Twilight opened up her closet. Stupid Doll gave her a gentle smile and reached to nuzzle her. She backed up and pushed his muzzle away. "Hello Twilight!" Stupid Doll greeted, "You're looking very cute today!" "Oh Stupid Doll," Twilight said sweetly, "I have something I need you to do!" "Really? What is it?" The golem blinked, tilting his head. "You see, I need to go... mail a letter, but I have three little foals in my care right now," Twilight told him in faux concern. "I want you to babysit these three fillies and make sure nothing happens to them." "I see that you have a new task for me," Stupid stated in a pleasant monotone. "Would you like me to add it to my directives?" "Oh, um, alright." Twilight hesitated. "Please tell me the names of the foals, and the relationship I will have with them." "Type of relationship? What kind of relationships are available?" "The presets known are a parental guardian, an escort, an older sibling, or a slightly older friend who keeps them out of trouble." Twilight stopped to think for a second, "Well I can't have you be their dad or older brother, and suddenly announcing an adult they don't know is going to watch over them might make them nervous. Be an older friend of theirs." "Okay Twilight, I will be their older friend. Who am I watching?" "Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Applebloom," Twilight recited slowly. "Did you say 'Sweetie Belle', 'Scootaloo', and 'Applebloom'?" Doll continued, sounding like an answering machine. "Yes." "Gathering data... okay, done!" Twilight watched as Doll turned into a young looking unicorn colt. His appearance was similar to when he was an adult, but shorter and more frisky. He lost his masculine frame and goatee, the lack of facial hair and the new slender build making him look almost childish. "Alright! I can't wait to play with my new friends!" Doll announced in an excited manner. "Stupid Doll, I want you listen very carefully," Twilight cooed, her voice dripping with honey. "If a single, SINGLE hair drops off the heads of those fillies, I am going to cut you open and experiment on you. Are we completely clear?" "Loud and clear Miss Twilight!" He saluted. "Good!" She beamed. Twilight turned and led Stupid Doll out. If he was nervous at all, he didn't show it. Twilight cackled. He had no idea what he had gotten himself into, the cutie mark crusaders always caused destruction when nopony was looking. 'This is perfect!' she muttered under her breath, beaming, 'The three of them will have him begging for mercy in no time!' As she approached the practice room, she looked back at Doll. On second thought, maybe just the destructive trio wouldn’t be enough. this changeling was clever. Maybe she needed to make this a little harder. "Stupid, I have two more commands for you." "Yes, Twilight?" Stupid smiled lovingly at her. Twilight thought deeply. "Whatever those three ask of you, you have to do no matter what. You can only break that rule if they're going to get hurt," she ordered. "Alright! I'll do whatever Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle order me to!" "Secondly...I want you to be completely honest with them." She smirked. Changelings were nothing but liars - being completely honest would probably make him squirm. "I will be completely honest with Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle!" "Good!" chirped Twilight, opening the door to the study room. The three mischievous fillies perked up as they saw a colt walk in, a very cute one at that. Suddenly, reading Twilight’s book didn’t seem as important as learning something about the handsome, young newcomer. All three of their hearts stopped as he flashed them a perfect smile. "Girls, this is..." Twilight stopped, unsure of what to say. "This is a young colt who works for me! I have to go kill Rarity - uhhh deliver a letter!!! I have to go deliver a letter to the post office! Until then, this young stallion here is going to be watching over you. Is that okay with you three?" The Cutie Mark Crusaders shook their heads yes in unison. Sweetie Belle was the first to stop and frown. Prying her eyes off of Stupid Doll, Sweetie spoke up. "Wait-" "Perfect! I'll be back in a bit!" Twilight said hurriedly, slamming the door behind her. She pressed her ear up against the practice room and waited. Only two things could come from this, she figured. The Cutie Mark Crusaders would freak out because of the changeling and she could come in and use him as an example of why changelings are bad. If by some chance they didn't freak out, they would probably use him in some crazy scheme to get a cutie mark. She could only imagine what painful situation they would- "CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS RUSSIAN ROULETTE PLAYERS YAY!!!" "NO!!!" Twilight screamed, bursting open the door. Sitting around a board game titled 'Russian Roulette' were the four innocent looking children. Three of them were looking at her in confusion. The last one was wearing a big smile that, she could swear, almost looked smug. "Is everything okay Twilight?" Applebloom asked, all three fillies looking very concerned. "Okay? Yes! Of course I'm okay! I am completely totally okay!" she said a little too loudly. "I was just grabbing- I was just getting- um- I was just making sure- I was just... Okay bye!" Twilight slammed the door shut, again. 'It was fine, of course it was fine!' she thought. 'I'm sure absolutely nothing terrible will come from leaving a changeling completely under the control of the Cutie Mark Crusaders!' A stray hair sprang up from her mane. --- The four in the practice room sat there and listened for Twilight to head through the front doors. After making sure she actually left, three of them breathed a sigh a relief. The Cutie Mark Crusaders didn't know what was wrong with Twilight, but they remember what happened last time something went wrong. Sweetie has never played with her dolls since. The three turned to look at the colt who was easy on the eyes. Even Scootaloo, who didn't want anything to do with boys, suddenly found herself thinking that maybe boys weren't so dumb after all, and Snip and Snails just set a bad example. Applebloom, feeling bold, took the lead. "So! We told you our names, but I didn't catch yours! What's yer name pardner?" "My name's a secret!" Stupid flashed her an equally enthusiastic grin. "A secret, why?" "Well, It's a super big deal that no ones knows!" He looked around suspiciously. "All the adults wouldn't understand, but YOU girls seem credulous enough to tell! Think you three can keep a secret?" The girls didn't know what credulous means, but the three of them knew Applejack would say somepony had the 'credentials' when they were suitable for working on the farm part time, so she knew that it must have meant something good. All three of them shook their head up and down eagerly. "Can you three PINKIE PROMISE me you won't tell anypony?!?" He said sharply, staring at them seriously. They shook their heads even harder. "Alright then, my name is P-" --- Twilight made it about two blocks down the street before screaming and running back into the crystal tree palace. Slamming open the door to the practice room, Twilight stared in horror as Applebloom tried to shoot an arrow while blindfolded at the apple on Scootaloo's head. Using her magic to stop the arrow, Twilight tackled Stupid Doll onto the floor. "Hi Twilight-" "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO KEEP THEM SAFE!!!" She screamed. "I am!" Doll cheered, "I'm making sure nothing bad happens to my new friends!" "Yes, how sweet of you." She grunted through clenched teeth. "Tell me, what would you have done if the arrow had hit SCOOTALOO?!?" "Have the magic barrier I cast bounce the arrow off, doing her no harm." Twilight's brain stopped for a second. After a couple eye twitches, she checked Scootaloo to see if their was a enchantment on her. And just as he said, there was a magic barrier on her. Twilight slowly pushed her nose up against Stupid Doll's. "...I've got my eye on you," she whispered. "Even when I'm not here, I've got my eye on you!" Twilight slowly floated backwards while glaring at Stupid, and slammed the door for a third time. "Alright! Okay!" Twilight manically said. "I just have to sit here and make sure they don't do anything too crazy! I-I'll just poke my head in occasionally! It'll be fine." She reasoned with herself. "Until then I'll...Uh, I'll just read the manual!" Twilight took a couple deep breaths, and calm downed. After going upstairs to grab the manual, she listened closely to the practice room. Not hearing any screams of pain, she cracked open the manual. Rereading the beginning, nothing stood out except for the blurb about Canterlot University. Turning to the next page, The instruction booklet immediately went into the error codes. Error Code 1: Your changeling doll has forgot how to use the restroom and soiled itself. Please turn it off, and turn it back on again. Error Code 2: Your changeling doll has eaten plastic, please force feed it a laxative. Once it has cleaned out it's system, please turn it off, and turn it back on again. Error Code 3: Your changeling doll is starting to have an existential crisis. Proceed to slap your changeling doll over and over until it calms down. Please turn it off, and turn it back on again. Error Code 4: Your changeling doll has rubbed magnets all over itself. To restore it's back up data, boop it on the nose. Please turn it off, and turn it back on again. Error Code 5: Your changeling doll is trying to kill it's reflection. Calmly explain to it that it's stupid. Turn it off, and turn it back on again. Error Code 6: You have inserted an electrical wire in a place where 120 volts should never go. It does not recharge, it needs to sleep, and eat. Please turn it off, and turn it back on again. Error Code 7: Your changeling doll has become obsessed with cute plastic toy equines. Please turn it off, and turn it back on again. Error Code 8: Your changeling doll is humping the furniture. Swat it with the newspaper. Please turn it off, and turn it back on again. Error Code 9: Your changeling has heard the song 'Feed my Frankenstein' and has realized what it truly means to be a changeling. Neuter your changeling doll, turn it off, and turn it back on again. Error Code 10: Your changeling doll has started rubbing his butt up against the walls while blasting classical swing. Take away the music player from your changeling doll. Please turn it off, and turn it back on again. Error Code 11: Your changeling did something stupid with music again, stop giving it music to listen to. Twilight started to get a migraine. --- "Hey Po-er Stupid!" Scootaloo corrected herself. "What the heck is up with Twilight?" "She's afraid of me," he said calmly.. Sweetie Belle scowled. "Afraid of you. Why would she be afraid of you?" "Because she's perceptive." "What does that mean?" "She's astute." "Great, you're an egghead!" Scootaloo scowled. "Well, as I was sayin," Applebloom smiled. "We all grew up here in Ponyville! We are you from?" "The badlands." He returned her smile. "The badlands?!?" Applebloom yelled. "What was your family doing there?" "Surviving." "Well YEAH!" Scootaloo snarked. "What she means is, why was your family there in the first place?" "Because we were born there." "Why?" Sweetie Belle spoke up this time. "Because my family comes from a long line of social outcasts in relation to Equestria." Before Applebloom could say anything, Sweetie Belle gasped. "He doesn't have a cutie mark!” "WHAT?!?" Applebloom and Scootaloo screamed. "It's true, he doesn't!" "Wow, you're even older than me and you're good at magic!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed, "How come you don't have a cutie mark?!" "Because I don't have a soul," Doll gently stated. The Cutie Mark Crusaders stared at the innocent looking colt in confusion. "You don't have ah soul? What you ya mean you don't have ah soul?" Applebloom asked. "I don't naturally produce the thing that ties my body and spirit together." "How are you alive then?" "I eat other ponies' souls." As a look of horror slowly descended upon the fillies faces, all three of them started to back up towards the door. "I- I think I know why Twilight was so aztoot of him now," Scootaloo whimpered. "Relax, I'm your babysitter." Stupid gave them his winning smile. "You guys aren't in any danger; it's part of my job to keep you safe." "O-oh, okay!" Sweetie Belle piped up, "T-Twilight wouldn't leave us with a dangerous soul sucking monster would she?" "Yes, yes she would!" he said with cheer. The silence was so thick you could smother a small child with it. "O-oh come on! Stop kidding around, why would Twilight do that?" Scootaloo argued, trying to regain her nerve. "Because she considers you three more dangerous than a soul sucking monster!" Doll announced gleefully. Doll sat there, remaining pleasantly quiet. The Cutie Mark Crusaders, on the other hoof, were on the verge of a mental breakdown. "Girls, girls, please, calm down," he said, sounding sincere, "I promise you that being near will not permanently ruin your health in any way. Even if I did nibble on your souls, you girls would grow it back in no time." "Grow back?.. How do you eat souls? What are you?" Applebloom finally spoke up, morbid curiosity overwriting her fear. "Well, you know how vamponies suck the souls out of people by drinking their blood?" "Ah thought that vamponies suck the juice out of apples," Applebloom said frowning. "Those are fruit vamponies." Stupid Doll proceeded to pull a pair of thin glasses out of... somewhere. Putting them on, he somehow only looked cuter than before. Summoning a chalkboard with magic, he drew a picture of a silly looking vampire on the left. Under it, he wrote the word 'VAMPIRE - BLOOD.' On the right, he drew a stick figure of himself smiling. Below that, he wrote 'FAE SPRITE - EMOTIONS.' "You see," he continued, "vamponies drink the blood of ponies not to get their blood per see, but to get the soul that's in their blood, vamponies have no souls. Likewise," he tapped at the drawing of himself with the chalk. "I am a Fae Sprite! I eat the emotions of ponies, and get the soul that's in their emotions! Any feelings you guys have for me, I eat them, and your soul." Sweetie Belle raised her hoof. "Yes Sweetie Belle?" Doll pointed at her. "So if you eat our souls, do we lose our souls forever?" Sweetie Belle asked nervously. "Nope! You constantly grow back your soul, and discard it when it gets old, like blood and emotions. As long as I don't feed on you too much, you'll be fine. Like when a pony goes and donates blood, the doctor knows just how much to take!" "Coooooool!" all three of them said in awe. "Hey, hey!" Scootaloo raised her hoof, "How can you tell if somepony doesn't have a soul?" "Well," Stupid Doll rubbed his chin, "They won't ever get a cutie mark no matter how hard they try." All three of them started to look nervous. "B-but that's not the only way right?" Scootaloo tried to come off nonchalant. "Of course! A good sign that they don't have a soul is if they never met their own parents. If you don't know your parents or haven't seen them, you might be a magic doll made to think you're a pony!" "Oh, alright!" Sweetie Belle breathed a sigh of relief, "We don't know anypony like that, right girls?" Sweetie Belle turned to see that Applebloom and Scootaloo had a look of complete fear on their faces. While nopony was looking, Stupid bit his lip, holding back his laughter. --- Twilight was now close to the end of the instruction manual. She had committed. Perhaps all the adventures she had gone on had conditioned her. Maybe she was a mental masochist now. Maybe, just maybe, somewhere deep down, she found all this funny. She was now determined that she was going to finish this manual without slamming her head into the wall again. With blood trailing down her face, she calmly turned the page. Error Code 420: Your changeling doll has taken a recreational drug. Please ignore it's rambling about how 'I totally understand dinosaurs now.' and how 'Everything is like, growing at the same time so it looks like we're the same but were all getting so powerful, the world is like, so powerful mare.' Please turn it off, and turn it back on again. Error Code 421: In an attempt to relate to you, your changeling doll has covered itself with food to look appealing. Calmly put away your food. Please turn it off, and turn it back on again. Error Code 422: Why did you give your changeling doll high grade explosives in the first place?!? What were you thinking!?! Take them away from it. Please turn it off, and turn it back on again. Error Code 423: No, your genitals do not go there. Turn it off, and hope it turns back on again. Error Code 424: At this point, you might want to consider using the changeling doll as a sacrifice to sate the elder god it summoned. If you choose to use a small child instead, please turn it off, and turn it back on again. Error Code 425: Never let it near a mirror pool again. Kill off all the ones you don't like. Please turn it off, and turn it back on again. Error Code 426: To be fair, you were the one who ordered it to do that. Bury the body and pretend like nothing happened. Please turn it off, and turn it back on again. Error Code 427: You have stored questionable objects inside the body of your changeling doll, take it to a hospital. Please turn it off, and turn it back on again. Error Code 428: I know we said the changeling doll could do anything, but that would kill Celestia. Take it to a hospital, again. Please turn it off, and turn it back on again. Error Code 404: Changeling doll not found. Please turn it off, and back on again. Error Code 430: You have probably traumatized those little colts and fillies and you should feel bad. Nothing to fix here except yourself, monster. Turn yourself off and back on again. Turning the page, Twilight found that the instruction booklet ended there. There was nothing, not a single thing, after this. No index, no pages for notes, nothing. Her look of disbelief slowly twisted into a manic grin. She just committed 430 error codes of absolute nonsense to memory. She would never be able to forget them even if she wanted to. Tears leaking out of her eyes, she broke out into a panicked laughter. The crystal tree castle echoed with the most pitiful laugh. Twilight Sparkle's mind finally waved the white flag. Her laughter wasn't the only thing that echoed throughout the castle, as she heard singing from the practice room. Curious, she trotted up to the room and opened the door. She gasped in fear, seeing Sweetie Belle laying on the ground with a knife wound on her chest. Standing over her was Stupid Doll holding a dagger. Twilight screamed and shot a powerful blast of magic at Stupid. She rammed into him and started decking Doll with her forehooves. Screaming nothing but primal rage, Twilight didn't let up until he was unconscious. She then dashed over to Sweetie Belle, gasping for air, and picked her up holding her close to her chest. "S-Sweetie!.. Oh Sweetie..." Twilight cried. "I'm so sorry! Please! Please don't die!!!" "Uh, Twi-" "No, no no no no no! NO!!! You can't be dead! You just can't! Please!!!" "Twilight-" "W-what am I going to tell Rarity?!? Oh no, Rarity! She's going to be heartbroken! This is all my fault!" "Twilight!!!" "I-IT'S OKAY! THIS IS WHAT DARK MAGIC IS FOR!!! YOU MIGHT BE A LITTLE DIFFERENT THAN BEFORE BUT NOPONY WILL SUSPECT ANYTHING-" "TWILIGHT!!!" Sweetie Belle screamed. Twilight looked down and saw Sweetie Belle frowning at her. looking closer at her knife wound, she saw it was actually just ketchup. In the corner, Applebloom and Scootaloo were cuddling in a corner. She winced as they stared at her in fear. "Twilight, we were just reenacting Rodeo and Jewel Duet! Stupid Doll didn't actually stab me." "...Oh." "Is he okay?" Scootaloo squeaked, "I don't think he's breathing!" "What?!? Oh no! Oh no!!!" Twilight started to panic again, she ran up to him and started to slap him. "WAKE UP! WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP! ACTIVATE SELF MAINTENANCE! HURRY!" Stupid Doll's limp body emptied its bowels. "Is..." Applebloom started to cry, "Is he dea-" "I CAN FIX THIS!!!" The Cutie Mark Crusaders sat there in horror as Twilight teleported away. --- One quick trip the hospital later, and Stupid Doll was currently laying on a bed in one of Twilight's guest rooms. Quietly, the door slowly opened, and Twilight poked her head in. "Hey, you awake?" She smiled sheepishly, "I brought you some soup." "Thanks!" He said in a happy, but strained tone. Twilight placed the soup down next to his dresser. "So, the nurse said that you were really malnourished... The Cutie Mark Crusaders might have given me an earful too." She nervously kicked the ground with her forehooves, "I uh, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way I've been treated you this whole time." "It's okay Twilight," Doll said in the most soothing tone he could make. "I could never be mad at you." "Um, thanks." Twilight lowered her head, "It's been a long day, so I'm going to go to bed now." "Good night, Twilight." "Good night, Doll," Twilight said sadly. With a frown, she slowly closed the door behind her. --- Quietly, the door to Twilight's room cracked open. Moving quickly but softly, the changeling made his way to Twilight's bed. She was tossing and turning, mumbling in fear. Gently, he stroked her tail until she calm downed. Tucking her in, he planted a small kiss on her forehead. With a smile, he slowly closed the door behind him.