//------------------------------// // Tallywhacker // Story: Fear Me, for My Name is Twaith! // by Michael Hudson //------------------------------// “A little to the left Applejack.” The farm mare tilted her head, before placing a hoof behind her ear. “What was that sugarcube? You’re going to need to speak up.” Fluttershy bit into her cheek for a moment, shuffling her forehooves for a moment before turning to the hoof on her back. There she saw the still soot covered Sunset causing her horn to glow. “You should be good now.” Fluttershy tried to whisper, “Thank you,” but instead, due to the amplification spell, said it loud enough to blow away part of the pillow maze that had been set up. Sunset covered her ears, her mane now shooting straight away from her head while her eyes stayed shut. While Sunset was trying to figure out who was shelling her house, and not realizing that she needed to turn down the spell’s effects, Rarity spotted a few leaves within the student’s mane, left from the tree that had come down into the house earlier that evening. “You really do need to take care of your mane better honey.” Sunset tried turning to the distorted sound before yelling, “What?” “I’m so-” Fluttershy stopped as Rarity put one hoof to the batpony’s mouth, and the other on Sunset’s horn, causing the poor unicorn to leap into a tower of pillows that then collapsed onto Applejack. Fortunately, it had also stopped the loudspeaker boom that came from Fluttershy. “Thank you Rarity.” Applejack forced her way out of the pillows, her blindfold ripped off long before her re-emergence. “Would anypony care to explain to me what just happened?” Rarity sipped her tea, shrugging. “Sunset, you may want to try not using any more magic tonight. Burning the tree away and helping contain the ensuing inferno seems to have put you out of whack.” Before the yellow unicorn could respond, a pillow covered her face, causing her to flail as Rarity finally got to rid Sunset’s face of the soot on it. Applejack, still confused from the avalanche, and tired from combating the fire Sunset had started earlier, in her own house no less, took the pillow to mean something else. Soon, the fashionista amongst them yelped as her horn impaled the pillow directed at her. Before the ensuing pillow fight could get any worse, Fluttershy darted underneath one of the piles of fluffy white death balls, before crying out from her defense being pulled away. Sunset now stood on all four hooves, with about twelve pillows floating around her. Two of Applejack’s and one of Rarity’s were deflected away before the war mage began to plan her offensive strategy. Three were targeted for Rarity when Fluttershy, remembering about the loudspeaker incident not even five minutes ago, put her hooves onto Sunset’s horn, turning it off again. Eleven of the pillows simply fell with a soft thump, The last one though, shook, her magic not quite leaving it yet. The four watched it, paling as the aura around it became stronger with every passing moment. In almost the blink of an eye, the pillow moved, moving straight to the left and smashing into one of the side rooms. Pieces of wood and a door knob came flying away from the debris while the set of mares were deathly silent. Sunset swallowed hard, before coughing. “So, maybe I shouldn’t use anymore magic tonight. Who else agrees?” Before any of them could respond, a scream came from the destroyed room, and Twilight rushed out. The wraith left icy trails in the air as she came to a stop, panting hard. Sunset paled, trying to get rid of any pillows around her, but instead succeeded in sending one through the front door. “Twilight, I’m so sorry if I disturbed your reading.” The wraith turned her head one more time, her eyes landing on her target, before yelling, “Rarity!” Applejack’s eyebrow rose as she muttered, “Rarity?” Sunset on the other hoof collapsed to the ground, whispering, “Oh, thank sweet Celestia.” Rarity stepped back as Twilight floated down, and only now could the fashionista notice the red tinges throughout the spirit’s essence. This didn’t really comfort her though. “Yes, d-darling? What might it be?” Twilight floated a book in front of her face, before smacking it with a hoof. “This!” Applejack raised an eyebrow. “A book? What, did she tear a page or something?” “No!” Rarity put a hoof to her muzzle. She vaguely remembered the book the wraith was holding up, as it was one of the romance novels she had loaned to Twilight for the mare’s research into the genre. Nothing clearly rung a bell as to what may be the issue though. “What about it Twilight? Are you not a fan of Grognak?” Twilight shook her head rapidly, before leaning into Rarity’s ear, her essence brightening as she spoke. “I-it has a stallion’s tallywhacker in it? Why would a book have that?” The white mare leaned back, staring at the ceiling. She had the smallest of suspicions that she may have lent the wraith one of those types of romance novels, but the word she used to possibly describe a stallion’s member seemed… improbable? “Tallywhacker?” Twilight nodded furiously, a brighter shade of red coming to more of her essence with each moment. “You know… the thing, that, um…” Twilight began making small ice figurines in the air, but they keep shattering before they’re finished, her essence and magic in too much chaos to finish the spells. Sunset stepped forward. “Did I hear that right? Tallywhacker? Are you sure you don’t mean a tail wacker?” Twilight shook her head as she waved her hooves in front of her. “No! I know because it wasn’t going for the mare’s tail, but instead her, umm, thingamajig.” Rarity’s jaw went slack as words failed her, but neither one of the other two had quite realized what was going on. Applejack tilted her head, before taking off her hat. “Sugarcube, could you please just describe them if you don’t know the words?” None of Twilight was the right color now as she screamed, “Why would somepony even describe their potty areas? Are you insane?” She than slammed her hooves over her mouth, floating back as her eyes stared into nothing because of what she had said. Applejack, Rarity, and Sunset simply stared into the sky, trying to comprehend what they had just heard. Each of them had long ago assumed that Twilight was a bit innocent of course, as it came with being from the time she was from. ‘Potty areas’ though, was beyond what any of them had expected. “Sugarcube, you do know that it’s called a pus-” A small, mushroom cloud appeared on the ceiling of the treehouse, drowning out Applejack with a loud, thunderous boom as Sunset’s eyes twitched. The unicorn still was trying to handle all of this, but she knew one thing. She did not want to do this tonight. Rarity had noticed where the magical explosion had come from, and stepped over to the blushing mare. “What, is that too crass for you? I will admit that the farm way of putting something as elegant as a vag-” A pillow cut Rarity off, missing her by centimeters as it crashed through another part of the house. Spike’s distant cursing could be heard as Rarity turned back to Sunset, an idea forming. “Darling, do you know what it’s called?” Sunset froze for a moment, before an almost audible creak could be heard while she turned her neck so as to face Rarity. “Of course I do.” She slapped her hooves over her mouth, her voice having cracked at the worst possible moment. Applejack had noticed this too, and instead of trying to talk to Twaith and risk getting everything here destroyed, she trotted over to Sunset and nudged her in the side. “Oh, then I’m guessing you don’t mind me talking about big, meaty c-” “I will destroy you if you do not shut up!” “Oh, maybe I should lend you a few books. I mean, it’s never a bad idea to refresh yourself on the wonders of tentacles as they suspend you in the air, keeping you still just as one probes your vulnerable tea-” “You will be silent before I nuke this whole place!” Both Rarity and Applejack almost burst into tears as Sunset’s coat now matched the other half of her mane. She then thanked Celestia when she noticed Fluttershy come over. “Please tell me you understand why right now is not the time, right?” Fluttershy ran a hoof along the floorboards, before looking back to Twilight, who was currently locked in position in the air, small, choked sounds escaping her from time to time. “M-maybe as you’re all doing it. She just needed to know the natural stuff, not any of your weirder, umm, things.” All three heard it, and the laughter slowed down, until all were simply staring at the still wraith, and the shuffling batpony. Rarity blinked a few more times, before swallowing hard. “Fluttershy, what did you just do?” The shy mare rubbed one foreleg on the other one as she looked down. “I just told her about stallion’s testicles and mare’s vaginas. On top of that, what they’re used for. Of course, I just kept to the natural stuff that I’ve helped my animals with, so anything more…” she blushes hard, putting a hoof over her muzzle, “is a bit out of my depth, like, um, t-tentacles.” The three mares simultaneously blinked at Fluttershy before Applejack stood up. “Well, I’m going to bed.” “I think I’ll join you. Sunset, will you be up shortly?” Sunset though, was already gone, having opted out for teleportation. She missed her bed by about thirty miles, but quickly decided that Ghastly Gorge might be a better place to spend her night, even if the storm that had caused the sleepover in the first place had not subsided yet. Fluttershy merely hummed to herself as she waved them good night, beginning to look around the library for something to read. She had not expected getting the tree she sought shelter in being knocked over would lead to such a fun night, but she was definitely not about to complain. Instead, she put the book she had found beside Twilight, and began reading, a blush coming over her face as she wondered if she would ever be able to put to practice the things she knew on Twilight someday, and how wonderful that might be.