//------------------------------// // Helping your infatuated owner. // Story: Changeling Doll // by Pickleless //------------------------------// Princess Twilight Sparkle, former student of Princess Celestia, Savior of Princess Luna and Princess Cadence, was probably one of the most dangerous forces of nature on this planet. She had a large amount of natural innate magic, and was very dedicated. It was the unique upbringing as Celestia's student, and the support from many talented ponies that helped her flourish into the incredible individual that Equestria knew today. She had taken down the dark incarnation of a goddess, the embodiment of chaos, the queen of lies, the hateful spirit of a powerful warlock and a horrible creature that could steal the destiny of others. Yet, Princess Twilight Sparkle had absolutely no idea how to deal with a half crippled changeling sleeping peacefully in her guest bed. She admitted to herself that trying to trick this changeling into revealing itself was simply not going to happen. It was willing to dismember itself. Heck, it was even ready to get beaten to death. She had to make a choice. Should she kick it out now, or turn it over to the cops? Or would she try to co-exist with it until she learned more? She sighed, got out of bed and opened her closet. After replacing her broken alarm clock, she limped down the stairs. The smell of soup wafted through the air. "Good morning Twilight!" Spike greeted her from the table. “Spike?" Twilight stared at her dragon sibling in confusion. "What are you doing?" "What do you mean?" "If you're here, who's making breakfa-" "Breakfast is ready~!" Stupid cheered from behind her. She screamed, smacking Stupid Doll with her hoof in surprise. The bowl of hot carrot soup he was holding was knocked out of his hooves and landed on his crotch, spilling hot soup everywhere. "AHHHHHH! I'M SORRY! HOLD ON, HOLD ON!" yelped Twilight. Using magic, she turned the knob on the kitchen sink and guided a stream of steaming, hot water right onto Doll's privates. "TWILIGHT, THAT'S HOT WATER!!!" Spike yelled. Stupid lay still on the ground, taking the hot bathing of his privates with a small smile. --- A pony, a dragon, and a changeling sat at a table eating carrot soup. Oddly enough, it was the one with first degree burns that seemed the happiest. "Twilight, are you alright?" Stupid frowned. "You haven't even touched your soup!" "Y-yeah, just fine." She shook her head to regain her focus. "Hey, Twilight!" whispered Spike, "you okay?" "No, I'm not!" she whispered back. "I need a break from all this! I want to be able to relax in my own home, but I don't want to just kick him out or shove him in a closet!" Spike thought for a second. "Why don't you just send him to town to run some errands?" Twilight blinked. Groaning in frustration, she slammed her head down into the table. Sadly, a piping hot bowl of soup was in the way. "AHHHHHHGGGHHHHH!" --- Rainbow Dash was swinging across a vine with her heroine, Daring Do. The Gryphons stole the Dodo Idol of Gullibility and if it wasn't returned to the Temple of Bad Decisions by sundown, the whole continent of Orange Chickens would sink into the ocean. Despite having wings, the Orange Chicken ponies could not fly to safety. When the sun set, all of them would end up in a watery grave. Busting into the hideout, the two pegasi finally saw the mastermind behind this heinous act. Rainbow could not believe what, or rather, who she saw. "Howdy!" greeted them Applejack. "Applejack?” yelled a shocked Rainbow. “Why?!?” "Well sugarcube, after all our competitions against each other, I realized I could never be as cool as you without wings." Applejack sighed. "Even if everypony had wings, they could never be as amazing as you. This here statue, though, will grant me wings as long as I give it a sacrifice!" "A sacrifice?" Rainbow Dash looked behind Applejack and gasped. Tied to a totem pole was her stallion. "Rainbow Dash!" he cried out, "I'm like, totally in trouble. Only you can save me, because you're awesome!" "Let him go, Applejack!" growled Dash. "No can do pardner! I have an illness, can't yeh see? I was born without wings, and there's only one cure for that! I ain't letting yeh take that away from me!" "Relax," interjected Daring Do. She smoothly trotted forward. "I'm a painkiller... and you're a pain in the ass!" Rainbow Dash watched (with popcorn) as the two mares flew around hoofing each other into walls, shooting power beams, and smashing their hind legs into each other just like in her favorite comic, Pony Ball Z. Applejack shot a giant apple shaped sphere of energy into Daring,sending her spiraling downwards, crashing next to Rainbow. "Ra-rainbow, I'm done for..." "Daring, no!" A single tear coolly dashed down Dash's face. "Rainbow, take this..." She held out her hat. "I put all of my awesome in it." "Daring, I can't!" Rainbow Dash wailed. "I know I said nopony will ever be as awesome as me, but I didn't mean you! You just can't stop being awesome and die, you can't!" "Rainbow Dash... when you wear this hat, you're wearing my awesome. My awesome will live on inside you, except for when you take it off." Daring sneezed blood into Rainbow Dash's face, and died. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" "Well, pardner, looks like it's just you... and me." Applejack readjusted her hat. "Woah, wait, I think I'm fine actually- HURK!" said the voice that wasn’t important anymore. Rainbow Dash coolly perched herself on top of Daring Do's body, hunched over, facing away from Applejack. "Nothing tah say sugarcube?" taunted Applejack. "I- I can't breathe..." no one important complained. "Well then, if you can take this bull by the horns, you better be ready for a ride!" the apple obsessed mare hollered, charging at Dash. Suddenly, Rainbow flipped around and released a flurry of prismatic glowing hooves at Applejack. Applejack started sweating apple juice as she tried to match Rainbow's hooves with her own. "ORAORAORAORAORAORAOROAORAORAORAAAA!!!" "MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAAAA!!!" Applejack flew back and smashed into the totem pole RD’s stallion was tied to, breaking it and freeing him. She struggled to rise and saw Rainbow standing over her. "H... How... How did you become so awesome?" she croaked. Dash turned her back to her former friend. "It's not because I'm so awesome AJ... It's because you became lame!" "NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" howled Applejack, dramatically melting into applesauce. "Actually, it IS because I'm awesome!" she changed her mind. "I'm so awesome, that- Applejack? Where did you go?" "Wow, Rainbow Dash. You saved the day!" remarked her also pretty cool stallion. "Yeah, I know, I'm awesome. You could say it happens on a DAILY basis!" They broke out into forced laughter. "Oh Rainbow..." the stallion purred, pushing his muzzle into Rainbow's, kissing her. Moaning, she pushed back, reveling in its... scaly hard texture? --- Rainbow Dash woke up to find herself making out with a small turtle. Shocked, she recoiled back and fell out of bed. Landing head first, she moaned in pain, trying to get up only to hit her head again on a shelf. Deciding that for once in her life she really didn't feel like moving at all, she chose to lay in a ball and nurse her aching head. Tank had a much better wake up call. His owner was feeling affectionate and planted kisses all over his face, something she had never really done before. That was cut short as she accidentally fell out of bed and hurt herself. Concerned, her loyal little friend rushed down to her side and nuzzled her leg. He was getting faster, it only took him two minutes this time. "Hey, little guy. Thanks for checking up on me. I'm doing just fine..." Rainbow Dash sighed. This was the second night in a row that she had a dream about him. She hated and loved this stallion. He made her act like some stupid filly with a school crush, he made her look like an idiot. He made her heart race. He called her the coolest pegasus in all of Equestria. Not only that, but he didn’t have that creepy obsessed tone all her fans did when he said it. She didn't even know his name. "Uuuuuuugh..." Rainbow Dash groaned. She slapped her face with her hooves, beating her wings to take off... right into the shelf. Before she could even grab her poor aching head, her trophies fell off the shelf one by one and landed exactly on the same sore spot. Rainbow ‘Danger’ Dash decided that crawling to the shower today wasn't a bad idea. --- After a quick shower and breakfast, Rainbow set out to buy this week's groceries. Protein powder, protein powder, pre-workout stimulants, protein powder, and some fruits and vegetables. Also protein powder. Flying down towards the shopping district, she saw something that made her heart stop. It was him. She also stopped looking where she was going and crashed right into Applejack's stand. "Consarnit Rainbow! Watch where yer going!" Applejack yelled. "Eheheh... sorry Applejack." She rubbed the back of her head out of habit. She winced, the vivid pain returning with a vengeance. "Hey, do you think I could get a dozen apples?" "Sure thing Rainbow! Lemme just get you ah bag," she snarked. Dash looked down and saw all the bags of apples were knocked over. "Oh yeah." She rubbed her head and winced, again. "Sorry A.J., let me help you with that." Slowly and careful not to put her throbbing head in a spin, Dash hunched over the scattered apples. Sighing, she realized today was going to be one of those days. It was unthinkable a pony as cool as herself would have have a day under the weather, but it would be unfair to the rest if her life was only awesome sprinkled with amazing. Deep in her musings about cosmic awesome karma, her hoof bumped into another pony's hoof as she reached for a bruised apple. She looked up and squeaked. "Hey there Rainbow! That was a nasty tumble. You alright?" asked the coolest of cool stallions that ever chilled on the face of Equestria. "O-OH! HEY! Sup dude!" She nervously rose a little too quickly to be natural, trying to compensate by coolly lean against Applejack's stand. Unfortunately for her, Applejack hadn't put the nails back in it yet and the whole thing collapsed, taking her down with it. "RAINBOW DASH! THE HAY ARE YOU DOIN?!?" Applejack screamed. "Oh! I'm sorry, I think I startled her!" apologised the handsome pegasus. "Here, let me help." "T-thanks..." Rainbow stammered. The newcomer helped Dash get back on her hooves and begun collecting apples as well.The three worked quietly Rainbow moved slowly as she kept sneaking glances at the stallion. Fortunately, the stand and all the apples were back in place before any other client managed to show up. "Mighty nice of you to lend a hoof there, pardner! I don’t recognise ya from around here. What's a stud like you visiting Ponyville for?" Suddenly, Applejack was the worst mare in the world and Rainbow needed to make her disappear right now. "Oh, I'm not visiting, I live here! Twilight was nice enough to let me stay in her castle." "THEY'RE JUST FRIENDS!" screamed Rainbow, inches away from Applejack's face. "...Okay then." Applejack backed away from the slightly twitchy pegasus. "Well it's nice tah meet a friend of a friend! The name's Applejack, haystack. What do they call you?" "Stupid!" He happily exclaimed. Applejack laughed. "Not the brightest pony back in your hometown, eh? Well don't worry pardner! Yer heart's in the right place and that's all that matters here!" "LOOK OUT!" a small filly screamed. Applejack watched as an orange chicken on a scooter destroyed her stand, again. Scootaloo's head poked out of the broken wood, her eyes spinning. Shaking her head, she looked around and stared at the Stallion. "...Stupid, is that you?" "Hi Scootaloo!" "Wow! You're so big and cool-" Scootaloo felt the wind getting knocked out of her as Rainbow grabbed her with a tackle and flew a few yards away. Getting her bearings, she was pleasantly surprised to find herself in the arms of her idol. "Hi Rainbow-" "TELL ME EVERYTHING." "E-everything?.." Scootaloo looked nervous. "EVE-RY-THING!" Dash pushed her snout up against the filly’s. Scoots tried to look away but Rainbow forced her head back in her direction and glared harder. Scootaloo shut her eyes and gritted her teeth. Dash was about to apologize when she saw the orange filly start to cry, but was cut off before she could open her mouth. "Every time you go to the barber to get your hair cut I collect it so I can make a wig out of it!" she screamed. "I already have five wigs made! I invented a whole new color of paint called 'Rainbow Dash Blue' and made a profit off of it! It's selling well enough that I can live on my own instead of the orphanage! I have pictures of you everywhere! I have a map of Ponyville made of pictures of you stitched together! I've collected enough of your shed fur and feathers to make three life sized dolls of you! I have two more suits of you made!" "Uh, Scoots-" "I HAVE PICTURES OF YOU SLEEPING!" Scootaloo wailed, "SOMETIMES I CRAWL INTO YOUR BED AND TAKE A PICTURE OF YOU SLEEPING WITH ME SO I CAN PRETEND YOU'RE ACTUALLY MY REAL BIG SISTER WHEN I SLEEP ALONE AT NIGHT! I'VE MADE FIVE DIFFERENT SPOTS IN PONYVILLE WHERE I CAN HIDE WITH A TELESCOPE AND SPY INSIDE YOUR WINDOWS AND WATCH YOU EAT, BATHE, AND SLEEHEEEHEEEHEEEHEEEEEEEEP!!!" Rainbow Dash stared down in shock at the little filly crying into her shoulder. Looking around at all the ponies staring at her, she slowly started to stroke her cute little stalker's hair. "Hey, it's not that bad," she lamely said. "R-really?" Scootaloo sniffed. "...No. You need help. But that's not important right now! Scootaloo, I need you to tell me everything you know about that pegasus stallion you're friends with!" "...So you're not mad?" She looked up with hope and tears in her eyes. "Yes, I'm not mad. Now tell me about him!" "Reeeeeaaaally?" "Scoots," Rainbow said through gritted teeth, "I am on a mission and if you don't help me-" "A mission?!? Wow, just like Pok-uh Stupid!" "Just like who?" "My friend! Stupid Doll, the stallion you're asking about!" Rainbow stopped and glared at her. "...His name is Stupid Doll?" "Well, that' just his undercover name! His real name is a lot cooler!" Scootaloo boasted. "What's his real name?" "Can't say!" She said cheerfully. Dash’s eye started to twitch. "...What do you mean, you can't say?" "I Pinkie Promised I wouldn't tell anypony ANYTHING about him! All you're getting about me is that his name is Stupid Doll and that he's Twilight's friend! That's it!" With a manic grin, Dash leaned in close to her face. "Squirt, why didn't you tell me that in THE FIRST PLACE?!?" "U-uhhh, sorry?.." she nervously chuckled. Dropping Scootaloo, Rainbow Dash flew back to Applejack's stand to see... Golden's stand. "Rainbow Dash!" Golden Harvest cheered. She reached down to pull out a bag of carrots. "Decided to give my carrots a chance eh? I promise they're as good as any-" When she looked up, Rainbow was already gone. "...Apple." she deadpanned, putting her produce back in the basket. “Why does everypony treat carrots like second-class citizens...”. --- Big Mac watched with suspicion as his little sister brought home a handsome looking colt. He always told himself if A.J. brought home a stallion he wouldn't try to chase him off, but big brother instincts were hard to resist, especially when he was so involved in raising her. Suppressing his frustration, he forced a gentle smile on his face and trotted up to them. "Big Mac let me introduce ya!" AJ stepped between the two stallions. "Pardner, this here is mah big brother, Macintosh! Big Mac, this is... what was yer name again?" "Stupid Doll! Pleased to meet you!" Doll. proclaimed happily. "..You mean tah tell me yer parents actually named yeh Stupid?" "Oh no, Twilight named me Stupid." His voice was dripping with honey. The two apple siblings stared at Stupid in confusion. "S-so!" Applejack continued, "uh, Doll here is a good friend of Twilight's and is staying at her place. Mooching off Twilight doesn't sit right with him one bit, so he asked if there was any work for him tah do around Ponyville! Winter Wrap up is coming round soon so we always could use the extra help getting the farm ready, right Mac?!" Big Mac’s demeanor became much more frosty. Anypony would assume he was upset. On the contrary, he actually felt much better. This wasn't some stallion pining after his little sister, he was just an honest stallion looking for work. "Have yeh ever worked on a farm?" "Never have, but I've done a lot of manual labor before. I'm a quick learner, it won't take long for me to pick this up!" Stupid said with certainty. He felt Stupid’s name didn't really match up to what he said, but honestly this really wasn't much of an issue. "You'll be paid according to how well you do. We have about 150 trees per acre. I have to take care of about ten acres today. We'll pay you 10 bits per acre taken care of. Try to get about 5 acres done, if you can." "No problem!" "It's a deal!" Applejack cheered. "I'll show him how it's done. This way, haystack!" Big Mac watched as Stupid and A.J. went off to work their share of the acres. He sighed. 'They always bite off more than they can chew.' Dismissing the thought, he raised a hind leg and kicked the tree behind him, dropping all the apples into the baskets next to its trunk. --- Big Mac wiped his sweaty brow as he walked back up to the farm. Sitting there was Stupid, looking exhausted. "Howdy!" Stupid called. "Howdy," Mac replied in his much calmer drawl. "How much do I owe you?" "120 bits!" The Pegasus grinned. He blinked and stared at him. "12 acres?" "Yup, I worked as hard as I could! Can't feel my legs anymore!" He blushed. Big Mac squinted and looked at all the trees down the east side of the hill. True to his word, about 12 acres of trees had no apples on them. His focus was broken by the sound of his youngest sister squealing. On her back was a plate holding two mugs. "Stupid? Yer a big stallion!" Applebloom came trotting up. "Well, it's not like I could get all those apples as a little unicorn colt!" "Oh yeah, mah sister told me to bring these to yeh!" The two stallions took a mug of apple cider each off her back. "Thanks Applebloom! I can't wait to try some the Apple family's famous apple cider!" "You never had any of our apple cider before?!" Applebloom gasped. "Go on, try it!" He took a large swig of cider and sighed with content. "Wow, didn't know what I was missing..." he said, dazed. "Sorry Stupid, I can't play right now. I have chores I gotta do." She kicked her front hooves. "That's alright, you go do your chores before you get in trouble." "Okay. Bye Stupid! See ya at dinner Big Mac!" Big Mac sat there trying to understand what exactly was said in that conversation. It seemed today was not a good day for thinking. Before he could ponder what happened, his focus was once again broken by a sight for sore eyes. Fluttershy was checking to make sure none of the animals living in the farm were hurt by their harvest. Applejack found her weekly checks to be a tad cumbersome, but he secretly enjoyed the chance to watch the butterscotch mare. Observing the pretty mare go about her business had become one his favorite past times. "So," a dry voice spoke, "you have a thing for the nature mare." Big Mac turned and found his blood turning cold. Stupid Doll's whole demeanor had gone from friendly and energetic to cold and stiff. He was hunched over, glaring at him with glassy eyes. No emotion behind them, just intensity. His head quickly jerked over in Fluttershy's direction. The way he looked at her disturbed him. It was as if he was looking at a piece of meat. "Okay," Stupid simply stated. "Hey, Fluttershy!" Big Mac flinched as he called out in his deep southern drawl. Suddenly, Stupid was surrounded by green flames and replaced by a squirrel with bandages all over him. Big Mac watched in shock as the squirrel started nuzzling his leg. Fluttershy slowly flew up, hiding her face behind her hair. "Y-yes?" she meekly said. Stupid chittered something to her. "Oh my! Are you okay?!" gasped Fluttershy, bolting to the small creature. Big Mac blushed as she pushed up so close to him. The fake squirrel continued to converse with the mare. "Really?.. I'm so sorry that part time worker hit you, I'm sure he didn't mean it," she apologized. "...Really, Big Mac found and helped you?" She looked up to Big Mac in shock. Stupid climbed up his leg and nuzzled his face. He continued to speak to her in his squeaky voice. "...Wow, I didn't know Big Mac was so nice to the animals on this farm..." Fluttershy gasped, "H-he would? Are you sure?" The squirrel nodded it's head. "I-I don't know..." She blushed. Stupid Doll gave Fluttershy the biggest, and only, puppy-dog eyes that Big Mac had ever seen on a squirrel. She shuffled her hooves, and then quickly reached up and kissed Big Mac on the cheek. "O-oh my!" She stammered before flying off in embarrassment. Big Mac sat there in shock as Stupid turned back into a pegasus stallion. "Welp!" He said joyfully, "I was already paid by Applejack, and Twilight is probably starting to get worried, so I'm gonna head back now!" He downed the rest of his cider. "Nice meeting you Big Mac! Good luck with Fluttershy!" Before Mac could recover from his daze, Stupid Doll had already left. --- "Uuuuaaagh..." Stupid wrapped his hooves around his stomach as he laid on the bathroom floor of his guest room. He had just finished puking up all the cider he drank this afternoon, his apple allergy giving him no mercy. "I HATE applLUHghrrhleeee..."