The Minuette-ventures of Princess Twilight Sparkle

by Sharp Spark

One Flu Over the Cuckoo Clock

Twilight stirred the soup slowly, staring at the dark red liquid with suspicion. It should have been boiling by now. She frowned and her hoof hovered over the dial on the stove as she considered turning up the heat, but… it wasn’t worth the risk. She already had to throw out one pot of burnt soup, and she didn’t have the time – she chuckled to herself – to waste making a third.

She glanced over to the one wall of the small kitchen. A clock in the shape of a black cat hung on the wall, its eyes and tail swinging back and forth as it ticked and tocked. It was a silly thing, and she didn’t quite know why Minuette had gotten it. As far as she knew, her marefriend only barely tolerated cats, and that mostly because they weren’t dogs, and typically had the sense to leave her alone. But that was Minuette, alright, always finding some way to surprise Twilight, just when she thought she had things figured out.

Of course, the clock’s minute hand was currently spinning around backwards, but Twilight ignored that as she went back to stirring the soup, humming to herself cheerfully. This time she had a good feeling about the soup.

The oven dinged, causing Twilight to jump. She stepped away from her soup and cautiously approached, her eyes narrowed. She sniffed once, twice at the air. It smelled like… cookies?

Yup. Upon opening the oven door, she found herself face-to-face with a pan of chocolate chip cookies. She groaned.

“I’m making soup,” she said out loud. “She can’t have cookies, no matter how cute she can be when she begs!”

They said that talking to yourself was a clear sign that you were going crazy. Twilight didn’t quite believe that. But talking to a future version of yourself who wasn’t exactly able to answer back? Maybe a liiittle bit crazy. She groaned again.

Now she was going to have to find some cookie dough and chocolate chips to start baking in about an hour. And if Minuette didn’t have any in her house, she would have to run out and grab some, and that’d take even more time and… She walked over and brushed aside the curtains on the kitchen window.

The wall of pale magenta flickering right on the other side cast a weird light over the kitchen. Oh. Right. Her shield in the way. Twilight nosed the curtains back in place. Presumably Minuette did have the ingredients, then. Well, there was no sense leaving them in the oven. She took the tray out and set in on the counter.

A burbling sound directed her attention back to the pot of soup, which had come to a boil. She trotted over, grabbing a spoon to have a taste.

The spoon flew across the room as she dashed over to turn the sink on and stick her tongue under the water. That soup was hot! She gingerly touched her tongue against the roof of her mouth, wincing at the burn.

...Which meant that she was close to burning the soup again. She was ready this time, though. She grabbed the kitchen rag in her mouth and carefully moved the pot from one burner to the other, before reaching over to turn the heat off entirely

She smiled, and then trotted over to open a cabinet and grab a bowl and spoon.

She hesitated.

She grabbed a whole stack of bowls and rested them on her back. She nodded to herself, smiling. Always better to be prepared! Then rag again, and pot carefully gripped in her mouth... She paused, looking around to make sure she was ready to go and hadn’t forgotten anything.

And then sighed around the handle of the pot, using her magic to float a paper towel over to wrap around a couple of chocolate chip cookies.

As she made her way through the small house, her ears perked up. She rounded a corner to see the stairway up to the second floor.

She waited.

Another Twilight Sparkle appeared, suddenly coming into existence without even a flash or pop or other visible sign. She wasn’t there, and then she simply was there.

The second Twilight Sparkle didn’t even glance to the side. She kept her head straight forward as she marched up the stairs, mouth set in a worried frown. Twilight peered up, watching as her double got to the top and then froze, one hoof in the air. “Whoops!” the other Twilight said. And then she made her way back down the stairs, every previous motion in reverse, until she was standing at the bottom again. She disappeared.

Twilight took that as her cue and hurried up the stairs as fast as she could without risking spilling the hot soup. It had taken forever to get out of that particular time loop, and she wasn’t eager to be caught again.

The second floor was much smaller than the first, and Twilight didn’t have to go far down the short hall to poke her nose into Minuette’s room. Her marefriend looked to be in the same condition as before, lying in her bed in a twisted tangle of sheets, her hair a matted mess and her coat slick with sweat. Minuette groaned softly, and Twilight tiphoofed in.

She sat the soup and the stack of bowls down on a desk over to the side, next to where a pitcher of water was already waiting, and then trotted over to the bed.

“Hey there,” she said gently. “How are you feeling?”

Minuette mumbled something and rolled over to look at Twilight, her eyes halfway unfocused. “Twilight?” she said. “I’m—” She coughed, and Twilight flinched slightly. “I’m doing better, I think?”

“Good to hear.” Twilight kept her voice low and calm. “I made you some soup. Do you think you can eat?”

At the sound of food, Minuette’s stomach answered for her with a loud rumble. “What kind of soup?” she said suspiciously.

“Tomato.”

“Ughhhh.” Minuette rested one forehoof against her head at the injustice.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Stop being dramatic. You like tomato soup.” She turned back to the desk and carefully poured out a bowl.

“I’m sick of sick pony food,” Minuette groused. “I want some ice cream.”

“I could make some hot tea,” Twilight offered.

“With whiskey in it?”

“What do you think?”

“Ugh.” Minuette grunted and scooted back until her back rested against the headboard of the bed, allowing her to sit up. Twilight brought the bowl of soup over, setting it in front of her.

Twilight turned again, heading to get a glass of water.

“Ah-choo!” she heard from behind. She winced. A moment later, Minuette followed up with a plaintive “Twiiiiliiiiiight.”

Twilight finished pouring the glass and turned back, suppressing a sigh. Minuette sat in her bed with a bowl of fresh, ripe tomatoes sitting in front of her.

“It’s okay,” Twilight said. “I made extra.”

Minuette stared at the fruits in front of her. “Maybe I can fix it,” she muttered.

“No—”

Before Twilight could protest more, Minuette glared hard at the tomatoes and there was a soft, wet squish sound. The tomatoes disappeared. Minuette peered down into the bowl to see a handful of tomato seeds. “Darn,” she said.

Twilight chuckled a bit to herself as she went to get another bowl, bringing it and a spoon over. “Let me help,” she said.

“What do you—” Minuette blinked. “Oh, no. No no no.”

Twilight ignored her, and floated the spoon into the bowl of soup and up. She blew on it gently and then levitated it over to Minuette.

Minuette flushed red, but opened her mouth. She refused to meet Twilight’s eyes as she continued to spoon-feed her the soup.

“You’re just gonna get sick too,” Minuette said, once she had a minute to get a word in edgewise.

“Maybe!” Twilight leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. “Will you take care of me if I do?”

Minuette ate another spoonful of soup. “I don’t know. Will all the science go crazy? Will the boiling points of argon and xenon suddenly switch?”

Twilight’s eyes lit up. “Gosh, I hope not. That’d be a disaster. Did you know that—” She paused, sternly looking at Minuette. “That was a joke, wasn’t it? You are feeling better.”

Minuette smirked. “Oh, no, I’m totally concerned about—” She was cut off by a coughing fit, jerking forward and accidentally sending the spoon falling to the ground. It took a moment to compose herself, and when she did she saw Twilight staring at the spoon.

It was stuck, frozen mid-fall above the floor. And without Twilight’s magic aura around it.

“We’ll… just leave that alone, then,” Twilight said. She looked over to the desk and floated a second spoon to them, dipping it back in the bowl of soup. “Is it good?”

Minuette sighed. “It’s… pretty tasty actually,” she admitted. “You’re too good to me, Twilight Sparkle.”

Twilight looked away, smiling a little. “Just what did you do last time you got sick, anyways?”

“Last time?” Minuette twiddled her hooves, straightening out the bedsheets around her. “This is the first time.”

The spoon froze in midair, still full of tomato soup, as Twilight blinked. “What? You’ve never gotten sick before?”

Minuette looked at her funny. “Not in as far back as I can remember. Is that weird?”

“That’s totally weird!” Twilight paused. “Just how far back do you remember?”

“Twiiiiliiiight,” Minuette whined. “Can’t this wait until I feel better?” She coughed again, trying to sound pathetic.

Twilight frowned and poked her in the side. “That’s what you always say. You always have an excuse or suddenly have to go somewhere. Now I’ve got you cornered.”

“There are laws against this, I think,” Minuette said.

Twilight smirked. “What if I offered a trade?” She floated the napkin over, and revealed its contents. Two chocolate chip cookies.

Minuette gasped. “You’re evil.”

“So is it a deal?”

“Ah.”

“Ah?”

“Ah.”

“Aaaah?” Twilight leaned closer, a grin spreading across her face.

“Aaaah-chooo!”

squish

Twilight grunted as she stumbled, landing on her rear on soft grass. Her eyes went wide as she looked around her.

The bedroom was gone. She was in the middle of a forest, trees with trunks as big around as her old library surrounding her, even the undergrowth towering at twice her height. Only a single beam of sunlight pierced the thick canopy above to give light to the small clearing.

With a screech, a tiny frilled lizard ran out from the undergrowth, taking one long look at her before scampering away. She didn’t even need the dramatic emphasis. She wasn’t dumb, she clearly knew that the leaf structure of the nearby ferns was native only to the late Cretaceous period.

“Minueeeeeetttteee!” Twilight Sparkle yelled.

Comments

[Archangel of the Silent]

So that's what happens when a time-goddess gets sick. You know, 'cause I've always wondered.

[The Letter J]

Twilight then used that magic of hers to turn herself into a stallion again (but one that looked different from the last time, so future Minuette won't recognize her), and found Cretaceous-Minuette. Together, they started the pony race. Eventually, something happened, and Twilight either left or ended up in some sort of suspended animation or got turned to stone or something for a few millennia. But now that her past self has gone back in time, she's going to show up again and pick up where she left off.

[Silvernis]

I giggled. Rather a lot, in fact.

[ErikPhantom]

5118555
I think that's one of the qualifications for being a god/goddess of something, to be a physical/metaphysical embodiment of said thing.

Either that or just making that thing your bitch and holding complete power over it (which Minuette also seems to qualify for, despite her apparent loss of control this chapter.)

[Bakmah Genesis]

Damn. That seemed...rather fun.

[sopchoppy]

I smiled the whole way through, especially liked the kitchen scene and mumbling to future versions of herself.

[yobbin2000]

That was great I particularly liked the turning the tomatoes back into seeds.

[SPark]

These always make me laugh.

[MrNumbers]

Back in the basement of the library, a cryogenic stasis pod bursts open, steam hissing from it, Twilight staggering out of it with sticks and twigs stuck in her mane, a lizard clinging to her leg, teeth gritted.

[Ink_25]

She grabbed the kitchen rag in her mouth and carefully moved the pot from one burner to the other, before reaching over to turn the heat off entirely

Missing a full stop at the end of the sentence.

Poor Twilight... stuck way back in the past.

[Emperor]

I imagine Twilight will be sick pretty soon, sick of having to keep all the time paradoxes balanced in her head to take care of her bedsick marefriend.

Wait a minute...

>first time Minuette is sick

Morning sickness?