He's just a doll. There's no way a changeling would put up with all the abuse he's gone through.
Unless he belonged to a species that was a master of deception.
But he's had so many opportunities to capture, control, and hurt ponies! Why would he just pass those up?
Because he didn't want to give up the easy life style he has, he's feeding off me.
No, it hasn't been easy... He's been getting hurt everyday now, there's no reason for him to stick around!
I'm one of the princesses of Equestria, I also played a key role in stopping the invasion at Canterlot. This is way too suspicious.
But... I'm the Princess of Friendship. He's been friendly, kind, loyal, generous, and a little funny sometimes. Maybe he's really being honest, too. I should have a little faith...
...Faith in a letter sent by a stallion named Poker Face? You're not that dense, Twilight.
Twilight shook her head. She spent the last 10 minutes standing in front of the guest room Stupid was staying in. Pinkie was going to throw him a Pinkie Pie party, and Twilight was determined to have nothing go wrong today.
Okay, it doesn't matter if he is a real changeling or not right now. I caused the town a lot of trouble, and I need to prove I have things under control now...
... I hope.
Gulping, Twilight braced herself and slammed open Stupid's door.
"Rise and shine Stupid! Today we're going to have a party at Pinkie's!" Twilight cheered.
She looked around, her doll nowhere to be seen.
"Stupid, where are you?" she questioned.
"Right behind you Twilight!"
"Ah!" Twilight spun around and saw… Stupid squished between the wall and the door.
"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?!?"
---
After bandaging up Stupid's forehead, Twilight offered to make breakfast today. Due to yesterday's spectacle, Spike had requested to sleep in, leaving Twilight and Stupid alone at the dining table. The meal consisted of a modest daffodil sandwich and hay chips. As the two ate in silence, Twilight kept sneaking glances at Stupid, who was now in his pegasus form. Wanting to speak up, she cleared her throat.
"Stupid..." Twilight faltered, "I haven't been very nice to you, and I wanted to say... I wanted to say sorry." She lowered her head. "I know you're a doll, but I'm not really sure if you can actually feel things or not." The letter from Canterlot left Twilight with more questions than it answered. "If you can, I really appreciate how nice you've been to me. Thanks for everything so far..." Twilight trailed off.
"You’re fine Twilight!" Stupid smiled. "It's no problem at all!"
Twilight sighed. "You're only saying that because you're a doll."
"I'm not saying that because I'm a doll."
Twilight blinked. "Then why are you saying that?"
Stupid gave her a gentle smile. "Because you're worth it."
Twilight looked down at her half eaten sandwich and blushed. "W-well, you’re probably only saying that because you're a doll too!"
"Maybe." Stupid shrugged. "Maybe not. I know one thing though."
"And what's that?"
Stupid rose from his seat and crossed over to Twilight.
"When I looked inside your mind, I saw a mare who faced an insane goddess. I saw a mare who refused to give in to misery in front of a god of chaos, a mare who was shunned by her friends and family because of a changeling queen’s ruse. A mare..." He nuzzled her cheek, "who gave up her destiny, her very reason for living to save her friends and a draconequus who betrayed her.
"I saw a mare who was terrified of a changeling doll and wanted to dispose of it it immediately, but didn't because she doesn't let her fear stop her from doing the right thing." Stupid wrapped his wings around Twilight and slowly stroked her tail. "She works hard to save the world, sometimes sacrificing a lot to do so, and all she gets is a pat on the back in return. Yet, tired and scared, this mare just keeps trying and trying. I might be a doll, but I'm thinking, the chance to serve this mare and make her happy?" He kissed her cheek. "I'm thinking that's worth something."
Twilight was speechless. All the frustration and fear from this week, finally felt like it was slowly being lifted off her back. Tears welled up in her eyes as she gave up and buried her head into his chest, crying. Gently he cooed, holding her closer as she sobbed.
"That's all I wanted..." Twilight whimpered. "I didn't want to run away from how tough it was, I just wanted somepony to know how hard it's been; How scary it was, h-how lonely it was, sometimes..."
"It's okay Twilight, I know..." He kissed her forehead and wiped her nose.
The two sat there for a while before they finished the rest of their breakfast. Smiling, Twilight held the door open for Stupid.
"Okay, you ready for Pinkie's party?" She asked.
"Yeah! I'm rea-"
A bolt of lightning struck Stupid as he trotted out the front door.
"Sorry!" a pegasus yelled from above, standing on a thundercloud.
---
Mr. Cake stared in confusion at the pair of ponies entering. One was slightly burnt and smoking. Said pony had half of his feathers ripped off off one wing, and multiple glass shards embedded in his face. The other pony was well groomed and perfectly fine. What confused Mr. Cake wasn't their appearance, rather the fact that it was the injured one wearing a peaceful smile, while Princess Twilight Sparkle, in all her glory, looked very annoyed.
"Are you alright, sir?" Mr. Cake asked, concerned.
"Me? Oh, I'm perfectly fine!" The stallion beamed.
"No, no you are NOT fine! Actually, how are you still alive? I still don't understand how you keep getting hurt all the time!" The princess growled.
"Well, I was built to be sturdy!"
"You were obviously built with no self preservation! How can you just sit there and smile?!?"
"Still worth it." He winked at her highness.
The princess blushed, looking away shyly. Sensing this was something private, Mr. Cake quietly left the two to go tell Pinkie her guests were here.
Twilight shook her head and focused. This doll was way too good at making her flustered.
"Alright, you!" Twilight pushed Stupid towards the restroom. "Now that we're here, you need to be cleaned-"
"HI STUPID, HI TWILIGHT!"
Pinkie popped out from the keyhole on the restroom door and headbutted Stupid, knocking him through the open door in the women's restroom. He landed head first into a mopping bucket and slid towards the last stall. Busting through the door, he flipped over, bucket flying off, his head planting itself firmly between the legs of a shocked Rainbow Dash sitting on the toilet.
Rainbow Dash stared in horror as the bloody, soapy head slowly rose and smiled at her.
"Hey!"
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"
*THWACK*
---
Twilight let out a frustrated sigh. She came to the depressing conclusion that the effort to keep her doll safe was far more stressful than trying to prove it was a changeling. Tapping her hoof impatiently, she trotted over to the little colt's room. She was about to call out to Stupid to make sure he was alright when she heard his muffled voice.
...You found who?
Frowning, Twilight put her ear up against the restroom door.
"...Alright, calm down. Give her some morphine... Doing a great job..."
"...Her in... ...Look out for..."
Morphine? Look out?!?
Stupid suddenly walked out of the restroom. "Ah!" Twilight screamed for the fifth time today.
"Are you okay Twilight?" Stupid looked concerned.
Changeling! He IS a changeling! He's definitely without a doubt a changeling!
"Twilight?" Stupid put a hoof on her forehead.
Okay, okay! It's okay Twilight! You know for sure he's a changeling now, you just have to stay calm and...
"Because you're worth it."
Twilight bit her lip, taking Stupid's hoof off her forehead and looking him in the eyes.
"Stupid..." She frowned. "If you were a changeling, I wouldn't hurt you." She hesitated. "Well, I wouldn't hurt you on purpose. Do you know that?"
"Of course, you're my friend!" He smiled.
"That's right, I'm your friend." She smiled. "So, please, just tell me right now, okay? If you're a changeling I won't be mad, I promise. If you tell me right now that you're really a changeling, I promise I won't hurt you or get mad at you..."
Stupid gave her a sad look. "I'm sorry Twilight. I'm a doll, no matter how many times you ask. I can pretend to be an actual changeling, if you want."
Why did you have to lie?..
"Okay Stupid." Twilight gave him a sad smile. "I believe you," she lied. "Let's head upstairs, everypony is waiting for us."
I'll wait till we get home tonight, after the party, I'll...
Twilight, shook her head, not wanting to think about it. Besides containing him, she didn't know what else to-
"Ah!" Twilight screamed for the sixth time today as she walked into Pinkie's door.
Rubbing her snout, Twilight rolled her eyes and opened the door. Right as she entered, a blast of confetti rained down on her and Stupid. Pinkie Pie grabbed them both and threw them into the room. As soon as her eyes stopped rolling Twilight found herself in a circle with her friends smiling.
"Howdy Sugarcube, see you brought the farmhoof along!" Applejack tipped her hat at Stupid.
"Yeah, where's that crazy changeling thing of yours? I mean, not that I'm complaining..." Rainbow blushed.
Twilight sighed. "Everypony, this is Stupid Doll. Stupid Doll, these are my friends, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity. Stupid, say hello."
"Hello world!" Stupid beamed.
"He's friendly, cheery, eternally optimistic, and a complete and total pain in the butt." Twilight deadpanned.
The room was dead silent.
"Oh," Applejack lamely said, "I uh, I reckon tha name Stupid Doll kinda explains itself there."
"So that means that he's..." Rainbow trailed off.
"Yes Rainbow, this is my changeling doll." Twilight finished.
"You mean you girls didn't know?" Pinkie Pie tilted her head.
Everypony in the room fidgeted quietly.
"A~hem, well then!" Rarity smiled and extended her hoof, "It's a pleasure to meet you darling! You already seem to know Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack. I am Rarity, and this here is Fluttershy."
Fluttershy squeaked and hid behind her mane.
"Nice to meet you Rarity," Stupid replied in a more refined tone than usual. He put on the most adorable puppy eyes Twilight had ever seen and laid his head and torso flat against the floor. Quietly, he said, "It's very nice to meet you, Fluttershy..."
Twilight noted with some concern that Rainbow Dash was blushing while staring at his flank sticking up in the air.
"O-oh, um, it's very nice to meet you..." Fluttershy mumbled.
"ALRIGHT EVERYPONY!" Pinkie yelled. "Let’s get this party STARTED!"
All at once cupcakes and punch were laid out in front of everypony and a familiar party song filled the air. Twilight saw that party hats were placed on top of everypony's head except for Stupid. Pinkie placed it on his butt for some reason. Stupid didn't seem to mind, Twilight would have been surprised if he did, actually. After what happened yesterday, Twilight convinced Pinkie that having a party for a changeling, even if it's a just a changeling doll, might not have been the best idea. The two came to a compromise that a small party consisting of close friends would make do.
"Alright girls, what do we do first?" Twilight asked.
"Truth or dare!" Rainbow Dash immediately responded.
Rarity winced "Yes, well, I think we should discuss-"
"Truth or dare!" Rainbow Dash insisted.
"Hold on thar pardner! Yer acting like a turkey on Thanksgiving!"
Fluttershy fainted.
Putting a pillow under Fluttershy's head, Twilight responded, "Why do we even celebrate that holiday anyway?"
"Tradition." Applejack smiled.
"We don't even eat it!"
"Tradition." Applejack stood firm.
"Yeah yeah, we're herbivores that kill turkeys-let's play truth or dare!" Rainbow urged on.
Pinkie pulled out her emergency smelling salts (in case of fainting emergencies) and waved them under Fluttershy's nose. "Okay, truth or dare! Who goes first?"
"Me! Me me me!" Rainbow Dash waved her hoof.
"Alright, alright, go ahead Rainbow." Twilight sighed and downed her punch.
"Alright Twilight, truth! Are you and your doll lovers?"
Twilight spat out her punch over Fluttershy, the light red liquid spraying her right in the eyes. The startled pegasus recoiled back and smacked her head against Pinkie's bed. Pinkie sighed and pulled out the smelling salts again.
"What? No! We are not lovers! It's a changeling doll Rainbow, it doesn't have..."
"Because you're worth it."
"I don't even know if it can think for itself or not. Who would make a doll their lover?"
"Okay, Stupid, truth!" Rainbow ignored her retort.
Applejack frowned. "Sugarcube, you already-"
"Stupid, can you feel love towards ponies, being a doll and all that junk?"
"Yes!" Stupid beamed.
Everypony stared at the doll blinking.
"Twilight, dare!" Rainbow grinned.
Twilight face-hoofed. "Rainbow-"
"I dare you to a drinking contest! Whoever wins gets to keep Stupid Doll!"
"What? Rainbow, I already own Stupid, why would I-"
"What are you, chicken?" Rainbow taunted.
Twilight sighed, "Rainbow, I'm not going to-"
"Hey, who was it that said that he's a pain in the butt? If you win, you get to brag you beat the Rainbow Dash in a competition! If you lose, you get rid of an annoying doll! Win win situation, right?"
"You don't know what you're getting into-"
"Buh buh buh braaaaaawk, buh buh buh-"
"Ugh! Fine! I'll have a stupid drinking contest with you!" Twilight snapped.
"Yes! This is going to be so awesome!" Rainbow hoof-pumped while doing a backflip though the air.
"Rainbow, tha' way you goaded Twilight was terrible and you should be ashamed of yerself," Applejack scolded. "On the other hoof, I've never thought I'd see the day Twilight would compete in a drinking contest! I'll go get the hard cider from tha farm! Pinkie, gimme ah hoof will ya?"
"Okie dokie lokie!" Pinkie bounced up and followed Applejack out of the room.
Twilight sighed in frustration. Rainbow sat back down in her spot, waiting patiently. She had a smug grin on her face, trying to stare Twilight down. Not wanting to get into a staring contest, Twilight switched her focus onto the next closest pony, which happened to be Fluttershy. The poor mare had missed most of the conversation and looked confused and scared.
"A-are we fighting?" Fluttershy softly spoke up.
Twilight gave her a gentle smile. "No Fluttershy, we're not fighting, Rainbow Dash and I are just having a friendly competition."
"Yeah, a friendly competition!" Rainbow Dash added. "...That I'm gonna kick your butt in!"
"Rainbow!" Fluttershy quietly scolded.
"What?" Rainbow tried to look innocent.
Trying to ignore Rainbow again, and not wanting to look at Stupid, Twilight turned her attention to the only mare left in the room, Rarity. Rarity was talking to Stupid Doll.
"Fabulous darling! Come with me downstairs, the measurements will only take a second!" Rarity beamed.
"Sure thing!" Stupid cheered.
"Where are you two going?" Twilight frowned.
"Since I'm a changeling doll, Rarity wanted me to turn into a couple of her clients so she could take their measurements!"
"Think of the time it'll save! You don't mind, do you Twilight?"
"Can’t you measure him here?"
"I have everything I need downstairs in a bag. Inspiration strikes anywhere and everywhere, you know!"
"Oh, okay then. Go right ahead Rarity." Twilight smiled, then glared at Stupid. "You be on your best behavior."
"I promise to be on my best behavior, unless something threatens me or somepony I care about!" Stupid swore.
Twilight paused. That was oddly specific.
"Good luck Rarity." Twilight said, a bit of worry in her voice.
"Thank you, dear! Come along now darling!"
Rarity and Stupid rose up and left the room, leaving Twilight with Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash was still staring at Twilight smugly and Fluttershy looked like she was about to have a nervous breakdown. Time only made things more uncomfortable as Twilight sat there, and she couldn't help but worry about Rarity.
He wouldn't do anything to her, would he?
Twilight got up. "I'm going to the little filly's room," she told the pegasi as she headed downstairs.
I'll just check up on them, just to make sure...
---
Stupid followed Rarity down the steps, happily humming to himself.
"You don't know how USEFUL your ability to shapeshift will be darling!" Rarity gushed. "If I can borrow you from time to time then I could save so much-"
Right as Stupid and Rarity turned the corner, Stupid Doll tackled Rarity, wrapping a fetlock around her horn and slamming his other hoof into her stomach. Before she could get her breath he smashed her stomach again, aiming at just the right spots to knock the breath out of her.
"When you wake up, tell Queen Chrysalis I sent a message straight from Prince White Lie himself!" He whispered in her ear in a dry, raspy tone.
Stupid rammed his hoof into her another three times.
"We see what you eat, we hear what you say, and we know where you sleep!" Doll growled, hitting Rarity in the stomach again.
"STOP!!!" Twilight screamed, shooting a stun blast into Stupid's stomach.
Stupid grit his fangs and kept slamming his hoof into Rarity. Growing desperate, Twilight rammed into Doll and knocked him and Rarity to the floor. Standing over him, she blasted him over and over trying to make him stop. Twilight relented as he finally went limp and let go of Rarity.
"Hi!" Stupid smiled weakly at her.
"HI? HI?!? I TRUSTED YOU, YOU MONSTER!!! I ACTUALLY THOUGHT YOU MIGHT-..."
On the ground between Twilight and Stupid, Rarity suddenly combusted into green flames. Twilight watched as her friend transformed into an unconscious changeling.
"I... I... what?" Twilight's brain shut down.
"Permission to self repair?" Stupid's happy tone belied the incredible pain he was in.
"...What?" Twilight said dumbly.
"Permission to self repair?" Stupid said in a more quizzical tone.
"Uh, y-yeah, permission granted.”
Stupid's changeling horn quietly hummed as the holes around the sides of his chest closed up.
"Wait, where's Rarity?" Twilight snapped back into attention.
"Back home, safe and sound!" Stupid reassured her. "This is Stupid, the imposter has been taken care of. I'll wait out front for you."
"Wait, who are you talking to?"
"The police!" Stupid smiled, lifting the changeling onto his back.
"The police? Why are you in contact with the police, and how?"
"Your Changeling Doll is programmed to never harm another pony unless they are threatening a civilian." Stupid Doll went into monotone. "It is every changeling doll's duty to report any suspicious activity to the nearest changeling doll on active duty in the police station. All changeling dolls will be on the constant lookout for any unusual activity, including changeling dolls who belong to a civilian."
Twilight blinked. "Why didn't the manual say anything about this?"
"You were given a civilian's manual, not an officer's."
Twilight sighed in frustration, now waiting outside with him.
"Why didn't you tell me Rarity was replaced?"
"It's my job not to cause drama or trouble for my owner," Stupid explained.
"You've been doing a wonderful job of that so far." Twilight snarked.
Twilight felt a pang of guilt when she saw the look of pain on Stupid's face.
"I'm sorry..." Stupid said quietly. "I know you don't like me, and you might not be my owner after tonight, but I want to prove that I'm worth something. Please give me a chance."
Twilight winced. "Stupid, look..."
"Hello!" A chipper voice spoke up right behind Twilight.
"Ah!" Twilight screamed for the seventh time today as she spun around. "Oh, oh! Hello officer... I don't think I recognize you."
"Hello, nice to meet you! I'm officer Coffee Maker. I was just transferred over here about a week ago."
"Nice to meet you, uh, Coffee." Twilight flicked her wings nervously. "Is Rarity okay?"
"Oh she's just fine. A few cuts and bruises here and there, but nothing serious. She's sleeping off her medication at home!"
“Drugs? Why was she drugged?” Twilight questioned
“We estimate she was taken and wrapped up around last night. When we got her out of her cocoon, she was babbling and crying. We gave her a little something to calm her down on the trip back home,” he responded. Coffee took the unconscious changeling off Stupid's back and started to trot off. "If you want more information, come visit us tonight or tomorrow!" He called back.
Twilight stayed silent as she watched Coffee trot off. Something clicked in her head as he turned the corner.
Twilight looked at Stupid. "Wait did you say that there's a changeling doll in every police-"
"Howdy you two, we're back with the cider!" Applejack shouted.
Twilight stopped herself from screaming. Taking a second to enjoy her little victory, she turned and faced Applejack.
"You okay sugarcube?" Applejack raised an eyebrow.
"Yes! I mean, yes, I'm fine." Twilight took a deep breath. "Look, Rarity..."
"Rarity what? Something wrong with Rarity now? I swear, that mare's more fussy than a starving filly in-"
"Applejack, we really need to have a talk about your similes."
"My what now?"
"Ugh, not important right now, look!" Twilight shook her head. "Rarity was... Rarity got replaced by a changeling tonight. That was a changeling with us tonight, not Rarity."
"Rarity was replaced by changeling?" Pinkie frowned.
“Yes, but-”
“Rarity was replaced by a changeling,” Pinkie repeated.
Twilight and Applejack stared at Pinkie in confusion.
Applejack sighed. "What do we do Twi? Do we have any clue where she might be?"
"At home in bed, sleeping off the drugs she was pumped full off." Twilight deadpanned.
Applejack raised an eyebrow. "Whut?"
"Stupid found out that the Rarity here was a fake and contacted the police. They found Rarity and Stupid took out the fake changeling."
"Well fancy that!" Applejack rubbed Stupid on the head, "We got our own little changeling detector here! Good job Stupid!"
"Thank you!" Stupid beamed.
And he wouldn't have gotten hurt if you had a little faith in him. Twilight felt a pang of guilt.
"Hey! What are you guys doing with the hard cider out there? The party's in here!" Rainbow yelled from the window.
"My Pinkie Sense didn’t pick up anything.” Pinkie said slowly.
“Aw shoot sugarcube, I don’t think yer pinkie sense can pick up everythang. Don’t you worry about it.” Applejack gave her a small smile. “I’m gonna head over and check up on Rarity, any of you comin with?”
“I-I would like to go, that is, if you don’t mind…” Fluttershy murmured.
“Ah!” Twilight jumped back, startled by Fluttershy.
Twilight’s eye twitched. She was startled by Fluttershy. By Fluttershy.
“You okay there sugarcube?” Applejack poked Twilight.
“My Pinkie Sense hasn’t picked up anything today…” Pinkie quietly said.
Applejack and Fluttershy stared at their two friends as they quietly sat there and twitched.
“Oooookay then!” Applejack gave an awkward grin. “We’ll just be moseying off then, see ya!”
Twilight didn’t respond as her two friends took off. For the next two minutes two twitchy ponies sat there muttering about ‘Shadowshy’ and ‘pinkie sense’ and ‘evil dolls’ and ‘talking balloon animals.’
“I’M WAAAAAITIIIIIING~!” Rainbow Dash shouted.
Twilight snapped out of her stupor, recalling the last ten minutes. She gulped and started dragging Pinkie inside with her. In a moment of anger she just agreed to possibly bet away her doll. Oh horsefeathers…
---
Twilight sat down her seventh mug, reeling. Rainbow licked her lips and smiled.
"What's wrong Twi? Wanna stop?" Rainbow taunted.
Twilight stared down at the mug. She grabbed Pinkie's bed to make it stop spinning around her and forced the burning liquid down her throat. Shrugging, Rainbow downed her drink easily, poured Twilight another mug, and pushed it in front of her. Twilight stared at the alcoholic beverage in defeat.
She felt a hoof prod her on the shoulder and turned around to see Stupid staring at her with pleading eyes.
“Please don’t lose,” he mumbled.
“Stupid?” She slurred.
“I want to prove I’m worth it too, please don’t lose…” Stupid quietly pleaded.
That was the last straw. Her conflicting desires for keeping her doll, the stress from the last week, and Stupid’s plea finally broke her composure.
“NO, NO! NOPE, I’M DONE! I’M SICK OF THIS MANURE, GIVE ME WHOLE BUCKING BARREL!” Twilight screeched.
Everybody backed away in fear as Twilight put her head under the nozzle. Turning the handle all the way, Twilight guzzled down the rest of the half full barrel. Twilight’s stomach bulged and wobbled in front Rainbow Dash
”Top that!”
Rainbow raised her hooves as she scooted backwards, shaking her head.
Raising her head, Twilight gave a loud victory cry, and then promptly vomited all over Rainbow Dash.
---
“Stuuuuuupid~, I can walk just fiiiiiiine!” Twilight giggled as she leaned against Stupid.
“Of course you can, you’re helping me walk home,” he said gently.
“Oh, that’s okay then.” Twilight grinned as she nuzzled his neck.
Stupid struggled trying to open Twilight’s bedroom door while keeping her from falling. The door finally opened, and Twilight laughed as she dragged Stupid into the bed with her.
“You pushed me.” Twilight pouted.
“I’m sorry your majesty, what can your humble doll do to make it up to you?” Stupid laughed.
“I need some serious snuggles, stat!” Twilight ordered.
Twilight giggled and Stupid wrapped his arms around her and started to cuddle.
“You are like, the cutest little buggy ever.” She stroked his face.
“Not as cute as you right now!”
“You know, I never had a pegasus take me for a ride before. You wanna take me for my first flight?” She stroked his hind leg as she whispered into his ear.
“Twilight,” Stupid whispered. “...You have wings silly!” Stupid booped her on the nose.
“Stuuuupiiiiid…” Twilight moaned, biting his ear.
Working her mouth down, Twilight tried to reach his lips, only to kiss a hoof instead.
“Twilight, you’re drunk. You don’t want to do this.” Stupid warned her.
“You’re my doll, kiss me.” Twilight ordered, irritated.
“I’m your friend, friends don’t let friends do things they would regret.” Stupid refused.
Twilight pouted and glared at Stupid. Standing firm under her gaze, Stupid frowned when he saw Twilight start to cry.
“I’m sorry.” Stupid nuzzled the top of her head with his chin.
“I’m horrible…” Twilight cried.
“No you’re not.”
“Yes I am!”
“No, you are not horrible!” Stupid chided her.
“Nopony wants me.” Twilight whimpered.
“Why would you think that?” He wrapped his wings around her.
“I saved Equestria a lot. I served the Princess fafa- faithfally-fafuh… I’m super nice to the Princess,” Twilight hiccuped. “I made really good friends, I’m nice to everypony, an’ now I’m a member of royo- royaly- royuhhh… I’m cool now.” Twilight stuttered. “Why hasn’t any stallion asked me out?
“Am I ugly? Am I really annoying? Am I so lame that I was actually two times the lame an’,” Twilight scrunched up her nose. “An’ nopony ever hangs out with them alone, they’re only invited to groups. I’m that pony, except not that lame.
“I don’t act like a relaxed know-it-all like Celestia an’ I don’t talk funny like Luna, I’m just a boring bookworm!”
“You’re not ugly, or annoying, or boring…” Stupid tried to soothe her.
“Yes I am! I’m so annoying even my doll whose job is to love me doesn’t want me!”
Twilight gasped as Stupid flipped her onto her back. and pinned her down, growling in her ear.
“I want you…” He nibbled her ear. “I want you so badly right now. You’re so funny and smart.” He kissed her cheek. “You’re so amazing I can’t stop thinking about you.” He slid his tongue along her jawline, making Twilight moan quietly. “You’re so cute, and… sexy…” He massaged her flanks as he kissed her deeply.
Stupid gently stroked her tail as he broke their kiss. Gasping for air, Twilight groaned as Stupid planted kisses all the way down to her stomach. “I want you so bad…” Stupid blew a raspberry on her tummy. “I’m willing to wait till you’re not completely smashed, you silly pony!” He gave her a light kiss on the forehead.
Stupid watched as Twilight gave him the cutest puppy eyes he had ever seen. He returned the look with an amused smile. Realizing she wasn’t going to charm him tonight, she huffed and buried her head into his chest.
The two lay there until Twilight started to gently snore. Chuckling, Stupid tried to get up, only to have Twilight squeeze him harder. After struggling a bit, Stupid came to the conclusion he was not sleeping in his guest bed tonight.
“Oh no, whatever shall I do?” Stupid smiled as he snuggled closer to Twilight. “You are so going to kill me when you wake up…”
---
”Poker Face, we have a situation.”
Stupid frowned. ”What’s wrong Dirty?”
”Three fillies wandered into the Everfree forest just now.”
”Who are they?” Doll had a sinking feeling, he already knew which three fillies were crazy enough to waltz into the Everfree Forest at night.
”Scootaloo, Applebloom, and Sweetie Belle, sir.”
Stupid sighed as he quietly teleported out of Twilight’s bed. Twilight whimpered as her pegasus sized teddy bear disappeared. Slipping a pillow between her hooves, he slipped out the window and started heading towards the forest.
”Keep an eye on those three and make sure nothing dangerous gets near them. I’m going to find out what they’re up to.”