November 22
To think, it’s already been almost six months since I found myself dropped into this world from some weird, freak event. Calling life eventful would be a gross understatement, as going from man to mare by itself was nuts, let alone becoming a ‘blank-flank’ (as the self-proclaimed Cutie Mark Crusaders dubbed it) alicorn who could be surpassed by any foal ability-wise.
Still, Twilight and her friends have helped me progress a fair amount, even if I’m certain that I’ve shaved years off their lives from stress. I’m still extremely slow at learning magic; anything beyond basic levitation is a chore. Rarity’s claims are outlandish, like most of her words, but Twilight’s explanation makes sense. My mind just doesn’t quite think in the most conductive manner for spellcasting, so I can expect everything to be a pain.
Flight has been a different story at least, thank goodness for the small things I suppose. I can hold a sedate pace for a few hours in any given day, although Dash still flies circles around me. She’s only nabbed me once and given me an intimate experience with corkscrews; Twilight had a nice chat with her after that. I still don’t know what was said, but Dash seems to turn green when I ask her if she plans to do it to me again.
Life has been somewhat of a pain though. Anytime I go out into Canterlot, a bunch of ponies do the whole bow and scrape routine simply because I’m an alicorn. They don’t care that I have no part in their government, that I have no power period, and that their children are more of a threat than I am. They simply see an alicorn and react. Annoying as hell, and honestly it’s already beyond old.
The nobles too, what a pain in the ass they are. Again, all because I’m an alicorn. I’d gladly give up the horn and magic just to be normal, but sadly that’s not an option. They’re all tripping over themselves to try and ‘nab me’ as their own for their silly power games. Even Blueblood has been hounding me, and he’s the most annoying of them all, if only because he has access to most of the castle. He tried sneaking into my room once, and only once. Dream repaid him by taking another run at his showering products. Celestia even got in on it and claimed that the poison joke antidote was out of stock, and it would be a few days before they got any in. I have to say, Blueblood as a mare is pretty hot in his own way.
Incidentally enough, today is also •
I let the quill drop from my magic to the table’s surface, a long sigh escaping from my lips. I blew one last puff of air on the bit of wet ink before closing the journal and stowing it back in the small cubby underneath the bed. It had kept it safe from Dream’s prying hooves so far; she had an aversion to going underneath the bed, so it served its purpose well. I really didn’t feel like writing the next part down, instead I felt that it called for a nice late night flight to try and sort through the thoughts running rampant in my mind.
On my way to the balcony, I paused in front of the mirror, taking a moment to glance over myself. Sky blue eyes framed by a shade of lavender peered back, the large eyes showing an underlying weariness beneath the deceiving inquisitive look they always seemed to hold. A spiral horn, much like Twilight’s, jutted from my forehead, parting through the pink mane with its lone blue stripe running down its middle. At my side, large wings were folded, the edges of the feathers tinged in pink. This was me, and had been for the last six months. With one last glance at my reflection, I turned towards the balcony again.
It was a small one, overlooking a few private gardens nestled in the back corners of the castle furthest away from the city. I was thankful for that, as it allowed me to come and go from this point without any prying eyes, without the reminder of who and what I was. I mean, I was secure with the new me, Aurora the alicorn rather than Elam the human, but beyond that my mind was a giant, jumbled mess most times, even if I did a decent job at fooling most everypony about it.
Spreading my wings wide, I launched myself into the expansive night sky. I was hoping that if a late flight didn’t bring clarity, it would at least let me push off my problems until another day. I smiled as I felt the wind running through my feathers, and couldn’t help but chuckle at just how angst-ridden I sounded. Introspection is definitely not a strong suite of mine.
I ignored the silhouettes of the patrolling guards, dark forms against an equally dark night, and made my way to a cloud high above the castle. The first snow was scheduled in just two days, and as such there were plenty of the fluffy cushions to pick from during this staging period. Nearly stumbling as I touched my hooves down onto one, I rolled onto my back and looked at the star-filled expanse above me.
Something about the stars calmed me, bringing order into the chaos of my mind. Even as my vision jumped between the many bright specks of various colors, my thoughts began to fall in line. I sighed and let my wings splay outwards as I sank into the cushion of the cloud.
Lazily, I reached up with a hoof and reached towards the stars, as if I hoped to grasp one within my hold. Since there was nothing to actually close around them now, I simply pretended to hold them on the edge of my hoof, chuckling as I did so. The steady beat of wings in the relatively quiet night drew attention towards the sky below me, and I rolled to my side in time to catch the visitor.
“Good evening, Aurora. Mind if I join you?” Celestia politely asked, landing on the edge of the rather large cloud. I nodded and she walked closer, folding those massive wings of hers to her side.
“So, what brings you up to my cloud tonight, Celestia? I doubt you just ‘happened by’ at this time of night,” I curiously asked, knowing full well that around this time is when she would usually be wrapping up the last bit of her day while eyeing her bed. I knew that she had purposely come here, but for what reason was unclear.
Celestia took a seat next to me as I finished rolling over, with my stomach now to the cloud. I looked at her with a raised brow and received a smile in return, one that was warming and reassuring. “How are you doing tonight, Aurora?” she quietly asked me, and I just sighed in reply after a few seconds. She patiently waited for me to speak as I pondered.
She was a deceiving perceptive pony, which only made sense given her position and age. Even though I spent very little time with her compared to everypony else, she was the first to catch on to my ever-growing dilemma. “Not too great, I suppose,” I finally muttered, moving my gaze from her to the town below, studying it. Lamps illuminated the mostly empty streets, and the only real activity was centered around the aptly named Night District.
A warmth covered my back, and I tore my sight back to her, noticing the lone wing draped over me. I smiled a little bit at the friendly gesture before elaborating for her. “I mean, everything here is nice, some might even say it’s a utopia compared to Earth, really. But I miss a lot of things, and I’m starting to realize just how much more is ahead of me here still.”
The muscles in her wings tightened slightly in reassurance as she met my eyes. “Such is life though, is it not, Aurora?” She wryly smiled, and I noted a glint of humor hidden in her eyes. “I can say from experience that there are many things in one’s past that we come to miss, regardless of whether it was a day ago, six months, or even a thousand years. Rather than lament over it though, I’ve found it’s much better to simply enjoy the memories. Saves a lot of stress.”
I couldn’t help myself and began laughing. The notion of enjoying the memory of annoying commercials when thinking of a television was just a bit too much for me to handle. I knew that she was right, the only real thing I truly missed was visiting my parents’ graves, everything else back home was more a convenience than anything else.
“As for the latter, it’s also a fact of life. I’ll admit that things are decidedly more complicated because of,” she waved a hoof at me, and I chuckled, “but even then, it’s only slightly more complicated than moving is, right?”
“I don’t think people considered crossing dimensions and changing bodies as part of the moving process when deciding how complicated it’d be.” I rolled my eyes, eliciting a small chortle from Celestia.
She removed her wing and stood up, a smile on her face. “Very true. Still, it’s food for thought, hopefully you find some use of it.” Celestia faced the night sky, closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath before turning back to me. “Would you like to go for a quick flight? I wouldn’t mind the company before I turn in for the day.”
Springing to my hooves in nearly record time, I filed away her words to think on them later. Sure, life was challenging here, but she made a good point. Plus, when faced with flying, there was always tomorrow to worry about everything else. I watched her drop from the cloud, spreading her wings into an easy glide, waiting for me to join her. With a small rush of adrenaline, I jumped off the cloud, allowing myself to momentarily freefall before snapping my wings open and arresting my fall.
We calmly flew through the sky, keeping over the castle as we did so. It was enjoyable, the cool winter air gave just the smallest chill as we soared along. I stayed just to the side of Celestia, her large white form extremely visible in the pale light cast by Luna’s moon.
Celestia closed the distance between us, a grin on her face as she somehow bopped me on the nose. While flying upside down I should add, it was pretty impressive, broken only by the words she spoke next. “You’re it, Aurora. Catch me, if you can,” she laughed and darted off, going at a speed that at least allowed me a chance to catch up with her.
I followed her form with my eyes as I dashed off as quickly as I could, barely overtaking her. All thoughts blanked from my mind as the distance between us began to close, following her and mirroring almost every move she made. Although I lacked her finesse, taking turns much wider than she did and just generally looking like a drunken fool at the speed I was flying at, she kept the same speed.
As the minutes passed, I finally came within reaching distance, stretching out a forehoof to tag her on the rear. Instead, I bowled her over in midair, briefly becoming entangled with her as she just laughed. I found myself floating within her magic as she smugly smiled at me, a twinkle in her eyes.
A groan passed from my lips as she smirked before cutting off her magic, and I fell for a few moments before I caught myself, white filling my vision as I leveled out. I glared at her for a moment before joining her in laughter, thankful for the nice distraction she provided.
We flew down towards her balcony as fatigue finally began to set in, the day’s toll finally coming to hit me. In order to catch up to Celestia I had to really kick it up to a speed that I couldn’t hold for too long, so I was more than ready for sleep now. She landed first, and then I touched down, nearly stumbling as I did so.
“Aurora, just think on what I said, and sleep well tonight,” Celestia quietly spoke before walking into her room. As the doors to her balcony closed, I took to the air and swung around to my own room, completely missing the balcony and landing inside my room. With a careful amount of concentration I closed and latched the double doors that led outside with my magic.
Sighing, I took the ties out of my mane and tail before climbing into bed, sprawling myself out on top of the covers. Limbs and hair everywhere, I sank into the soft cloud mattress, my consciousness slowly drifting into the sweet embrace of sleep. A final thought made its way into my mind before being replaced by gentle snores.
Somehow, someway, I’ll find where I belong here…