On a clear morning in Ponyville, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie gathered for a picnic brunch in their favorite grassy part of the park.
"Twilight's late," Rainbow grumbled.
No sooner had she said this than Princess Twilight Sparkle swooped into view, Spike riding on her back. Twilight let out a joyful whoop of delight as she landed by her friends; Spike hopped down and took a seat next to Rarity. "Good morni~ing, girls!" Twilight said.
"Good morning, Twilight!" Rarity replied. "You're certainly in high spirits this morning!"
"With good reason!" Twilight said cheerfully. A scroll floated out of her backpack and unrolled in the middle of the picnic blanket. The others leaned in for a closer look...
THE EQUESTRIAN EQUINOLOGICAL HISTORY SOCIETY PROUDLY PRESENTS
A TRAVELLING EXHIBITION OF ANCIENT ANUGYPTIAN RELICS
MEET THE QUEEN OF THE SPHINXES, NEFERKITTI!
THIS WEEK AT PONYVILLE TOWN HALL
Proceeds go to the EEHS to fund future research
"Uhh...okay...so?" Rainbow asked, tilting her head.
"So?" Twilight repeated. "So, this is an important cultural exhibit! They found THE tomb of THE Neferkitti! They're bringing HER mummified remains HERE to Ponyville!"
"That's nice," Rainbow said. "Let's eat."
"Rainbow Dash!" Rarity chided. "I happen to agree with Twilight! This is a rare opportunity to examine real, historical Anugyptian artifacts in vérité!" She raised a hoof to her chest. "Why...this could be just the inspiration I need for a new summer line! Beat the heat with Sheikh Chic!"
"Sheikhs are Saddle Arabian, not Anugyptian, and it isn't even pronounced that way," Fluttershy said. "Oh, but, umm...I look forward to your new fashion line. Oh, and the exhibit." She smiled. "Sphinxes are fascinating!"
"I hear they really knew how to party back in those days!" Pinkie said. "Oh, except for the whole mummification thing. That sounds super painful."
"I'm pretty sure they only do that to you after you're already dead, Pinkie Pie," Twilight pointed out.
"Hey, I'm tryin' to eat here!" Rainbow cried.
"Well y'all have a mighty good time with all that mummy business," Applejack said. "Me an' RD'll sit this one out."
"Yeah, sounds pretty boring," Rainbow agreed around a mouthful of fruit and pastry.
"Suit yourself," Twilight said. "The rest of you are coming, right?"
"Of course!" Rarity said.
"You bet!" Pinkie added.
"Well...mummies might be a little scary," Fluttershy said, "but...yes."
"Woohoo!" With that decided, brunch proceeded as usual, with the regular amount of eating, small talk, and horseplay.
* * * * *
Several large covered wagons stood in a circle around Ponyville Town Hall. Burly stallions were unfurling and setting up large canvas canopies between the Town Hall building itself and the wagons, creating a large, covered exhibition pavilion. Others were hauling steamer trunks and crates out of the wagons, spreading them around on a hastily-scattered floor of hay. A dark grey unicorn mare with a neon orange mane cut in a short, razor-straight pageboy trotted around the pavilion, shouting orders and berating workers.
Amid the chaos, a scrawny unicorn stallion wandered around, his nose stuck in a floating book. He had a deep rose-red coat and a medium-length, curly mane and tail the color of sand; his Cutie Mark depicted an open book in front of a pyramid. A pair of half-moon reading glasses was perched upon his muzzle. He was so absorbed in his book that he ran right into one of the workers who was perched precariously against a support pole. The worker wobbled and crashed, taking the pole down with him. All around the pavilion, workers whinnied and shouted as, one by one, all the support poles went down; the canvas flopped down over the workers, the crates, the trunks, and the wagons.
An amber aura surrounded the canvas, lifting it away, and the grey mare marched up to the red stallion angrily. "VATCH VHERE YOU ARE GOINK, YOU DUMMKOPF!" she shouted.
"S-sorry, Dr. Glow!" the stallion stammered, backing away and knocking over a trunk. A muffled crash of breaking antiques sounded from inside. His eyes widened. "Oh no..."
"OUT! GET OUT! GO INTO TOWN AND STAY OUT OF ZE VAY!" Dr. Glow yelled. "IF YOU VERE NOT ZE FOREMOST EXPERT ON ANCIENT ANUGYPTIAN HEIROGLYPHS, I VOULD NEVER HAFF BROUGHT YOU ALONG!"
"Well I'm sorry if I'm a bit clumsy!" the stallion huffed indignantly, turning to leave, his book floating alongside him. "Honestly!"
Dr. Glow shook her head, muttering under her breath as the scrawny stallion left. After a minute, she looked around at the workers. "Vell? Clean zis up und GET BACK TO VORK!"
* * * * *
Rosetta Stone was, in his opinion, the most put-upon member of the Equestrian Equinological History Society. For that matter, he was the most put-upon pony in Equestria, period.
His parents had wanted a mare, and he'd inherited his mother's coat and mane colors, but in reverse, as well as her natural wavy locks. This gave him an overall effeminate appearance which had led to quite a bit of confusion and teasing growing up.
Having been saddled with a rather effeminate name didn't help matters.
Still, he'd done his best to persevere from an early age. Born in Trottingham, he'd been raised and educated in Manehattan, where he'd quickly discovered an interest bordering on obsession in ancient history. By age seven, he'd begun studying Anugypt. At age nine, he could decipher Anugyptian heiroglyphs. He was the first colt in his class to get his Cutie Mark.
That none of his classmates understood his Cutie Mark led to further teasing.
When he reached his teenage years, he developed a terrible clumsy streak, as well as nearsightedness from hours upon hours of reading dusty old books in poor light. His nearsightedness had not grown noticeably worse over the years, but his clumsiness had become a chronic source of distress, both for himself and those around him. He'd been fired from three jobs during his college years.
Following graduation, he was sought out by the Equestrian Equinological History Society, which desperately needed an expert on ancient Anugyptian language and culture. His boss and coworkers had learned to put up with his clumsiness, albeit begrudgingly, because what he lacked in grace and refinement, he more than made up for in raw intellect.
He had few friends inside of work or out, choosing to devote all his time to reading and studying. Dealing with other ponies simply wasn't his forte.
Recently, the most exciting thing to ever happen in his life had taken him to Anugypt itself and the ruins of Lionaptra, the City of the Sphinxes, long believed to be a myth. Over the course of a six month excavation, he'd translated hundreds of inscriptions, seen the inside of an actual tomb, and watched as the archaeologists exhumed four intact sphinx mummies, one of which was Queen Neferkitti herself.
Now, the artifacts removed from Lionaptra were part of a travelling exhibit, circling Equestria before being delivered to the Manehattan Museum of Antiquities for permanent display.
The only reason the Equestrian Equinological History Society chose to exhibit the sphinxes in Ponyville was because a princess happened to live there.
Rosetta Stone sighed as he set his sights on a small outdoor cafe a brisk trot away from the town hall. His present boss, Dr. Amber Glow, was constantly on his case for one thing or another.
Alright, so he'd klutzed up and knocked down the pavilion they'd spent the better part of two hours setting up. Accidents happened.
And maybe he'd broken some priceless artifact inside that trunk. Half the stuff in those trunks was already broken anyway.
Rosetta Stone sat down, his book floating in front of him. A minute later, he heard a throat clearing loudly. He looked up to see a waiter.
"May I take your order?" the waiter asked brusquely.
"Oh...umm..." Rosetta Stone frowned, scratching his head with a hoof.
"I recommend the alfalfa salad with Balsamic vinaigrette," a mare's voice said. "In fact, I'm about to have that myself."
The waiter gasped. "Your Highness!"
Rosetta Stone looked up and to his right. There, not two feet away, was Princess Twilight Sparkle. His eyes widened.
Twilight smiled. "Do you mind if I join you? My friends are all busy right now and I hate eating alone."
"Uhh...of...of course," Rosetta Stone said, his mouth working. "I mean...of course."
Twilight giggled and sat down. "So, that'll be two alfalfa salads and two glasses of white grape juice with a cranberry twist," she said.
"Of course, Your Highness," the waiter said, bowing before wandering off.
"Are you here with the Sphinx exhibit?" Twilight asked.
"Huh? Oh. Yes. Yes...err, Your Highness..."
"Please, just call me Twilight," Twilight said with a smile. "And you are?"
"Oh, uhh...Rosetta Stone, Your Hi—err, Princess Twilight."
"Rosetta Stone. That's an unusual name for a stallion."
Rosetta Stone blushed. "It's a long story," he said. "My parents wanted a filly..."
"Oh my," Twilight said. She glanced at his book. "What are you reading?"
"Oh...I'm going over my translations of the heiroglyphs from the tomb," Rosetta Stone said. "I, uhh...I spent weeks down in the tomb, reading...translating..." He gestured with his hooves. "I like to double-check and triple-check my work. Make sure I got everything, you know, uh...right."
"I know what you mean, I double-check and triple-check everything myself," Twilight said. "So you're a translator?"
"Translator, researcher...I've been good with Anugyptian heiroglyphs since I was a colt."
"That's amazing! I've tried to learn to read them, but I've never gotten my mind around them."
The food arrived, and Rosetta Stone realized he was quite thirsty. He drained half his juice in one gulp.
"I'm so excited to see the exhibit," Twilight said. "To think I'll see a real mummified sphinx!"
"Four mummified sphinxes," Rosetta Stone corrected absently.
Twilight blinked. "FOUR?!"
"Oh yes," Rosetta Stone said. "Queen Neferkitti was buried with her daughter and her two top retainers. Sphinx society death rituals were quite elaborate and severe."
"How fascinating!" Twilight leaned forward eagerly. "Tell me more!"
"Well..." Rosetta Stone took a bite of his salad. It was quite good. "As you know, while ponies existed in Anugypt, they were largely slaves to the jackal civilization, founded and led by King Anubis. That was before Baast, leader of the Cat Tribe, led a revolution against the jackals and freed the ponies." Rosetta Stone adjusted his glasses. "Baast and her followers worshipped the mythical Sphinxes, who were believed to have founded their own separate city-state, Lionaptra, in a region outside Anubis' kingdom. The Sphinxes were half-lion, half-pony creatures of legend with mystical powers. Depending on which legends you believe, they could seduce any male creature, shred stone with their claws, even cause unnatural storms. They were believed to be the source of desert mirages. There is even a legend of an oasis filled with fresh cream, said to be the guidepost for finding Lionaptra. Of course, no such oasis ever existed, but..." Rosetta Stone's glasses took on an eager gleam to match his grin. "Lionaptra itself did, and we found it."
Twilight gasped. "Lionaptra is real? You've actually been there?"
"Where do you think we found Queen Neferkitti?"
"That's amazing!" Twilight said. "Oh, I'd love to see it!"
"Well..." Rosetta Stone frowned. "I'm sure being a princess and all, you can...probably persuade the EEHS to allow you into the ruins. Just don't expect to see much. Everything worth seeing down there is over at your town hall."
"Oh, but just to see the ruins of the city itself would be so incredible!"
"Oh, it is, believe me!" Rosetta Stone gushed.
Twilight took several quick bites of her salad. "Listen, I've got to run, I have things I'm supposed to take care of, but...I'd love to hear more about Lionaptra. Are you going to be busy this evening? Oh, I'm sure you are, what with setting up the exhibit and all..."
"Actually..." Rosetta Stone tilted his head. "I believe I should have some free time. I, uhh..." He ducked his head. "The workponies and my boss don't...really want me around right now."
"Why not?"
"I'm...a little bit clumsy," Rosetta Stone said, chuckling. "Actually, the reason I'm not over at the exhibit right now is I, uh...sort of made a huge mess..."
Twilight giggled. "I know a few ponies like that." She finished her juice. "Anyway, why don't you come up to the castle this evening? You can tell me all about Lionaptra. Maybe give me a heads-up on what I can expect to see at the exhibit?"
Rosetta Stone smiled bashfully. "I...I think I'd rather like that."
"Great! See you around sunset!" Twilight tossed several bits onto the table and flew away.
Rosetta Stone watched her depart. "Wow."
* * * * *
Just before sunset, Twilight Sparkle led Rosetta Stone into her massive crystal castle. "This...this is unbelievable," Rosetta Stone said. "I've known castles, but this..."
"I know, right?" Twilight said with a giggle. "I've had this place a while now and I'm still getting used to it. Come on up to the library!"
The two ponies took tea in the library as Rosetta Stone alternated between gazing around in wonder and gushing over Lionaptra. Twilight listened raptly, smiling throughout his discourse. "But the most curious thing," Rosetta Stone said, examining his translations, "is the section which seemed to detail an ancient Anugyptian curse."
"A curse?" Twilight laughed. "How silly!"
"Oh, but the Anugyptians were very superstitious," Rosetta Stone said. "Listen to this: 'Sealed lest her reign bring ruin upon the Kingdom, the Sphinx Queen has been stripped of her nine lives and surrendered to the desert, dry of flesh and sealed in stone. For the good of all who live, do not unseal the resting place of the Queen, do not bring forth her dessicated flesh from the sands, and above all, no matter what, you must heed this final warning, and never speak aloud these cursed words." He turned the page, glanced up at Twilight, and read, "Regdab regdab regdab regdab moorhsum, moorhsum! Ekans, ekans, ho-a'sti ekans!"
Twilight blinked. "What the hay does that mean?"
"I don't know," Rosetta Stone said. "I'm still trying to make sense of it. It doesn't even seem to be Anugyptian, just..." He shook his head. "Anyway, it's silly nonsense made up by superstitious and ignorant ponies of a bygone era."
* * * * *
As night fell across Equestria and the workers from the exhibit slept in their rooms at the inn, one of the larger crates underneath the reconstructed pavilion began to shake. After rattling around for several minutes, the crate burst open, curled wood shavings peeling away from the broken boards. A dusty, dessicated claw wrapped in ancient bandages erupted from the broken crate, followed by a mummified feline body.
A dry, otherworldly yowl rent the still night air...