//------------------------------//
// You Avelut to Explain 
// Story: Friendship is a WIP 
// by MonolithiuM 
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Dear Princess Suncheeks,

I think I'm gonna need a crash course in Equestrian mating rituals, because this Jew is trying to fuck me. I went to buy a fucking futon from this asshole and he charges me nine-thousand two-hundred and four bits for it. Now, I don't know about you, but that sounds like some Menorah-wearing, glass-crushing, "oy vey" bullshit. This would be like walking into a hospital, bleeding from the mangled flesh-sack where your nuts used to be, and saying, "doctor, I need help," but then the doctor would say, "sure, that'll be nine-hundred bits please". 

SO WHY THE FUCK CAN THIS LONG-NOSED MOTHERFUCKER CHARGE NINE-THOUSAND TWO-HUNDRED AND FOUR BITS FOR A FUCKING FUTON? I'M TIRED OF CHILLING ON TWILIGHT'S COUCH. IT'S OLD, MUSTY, SHORT, AND SMELLS LIKE WIDE-OPEN NERD ASS. THIS MONEY-GRUBBING, SON OF A BITCH PONY JUST FUCKED WITH THE WRONG MOTHERFUCKER. 

THIS WEEK HAS BEEN KINDA SHITTY, CELESTIA, SO I'M JUST LETTING YOU KNOW THAT I'M GONNA GAS THIS GUY'S HOUSE. 

STOP ME OR WHATEVER.

Peace,
Anonymous the Pissed-Off Motherfucking Nazi (temp)



Celestia's eyes widened, her wings unfurled, and she leapt through her window into the afternoon sky. Sighting Ponyville, she lit her horn and teleported into town. It was when she arrived that she realized she had no idea how to get to Filthy Rich's. 

And yes, she knew what pony to expect, given Anon's rantings. 

So, she began to look upon the ground from the skies, her eyes moving quickly and desperately. If Anon did what he was claiming, then not only would Equestria have a massive outcry for Anon's exile, but Anon's own social prejudices would become increasingly more violent. He is a man to hold a grudge, unfortunately.

By some stroke of luck, she managed to spot Anon stomping his way towards a home, a long metallic tube and a gas mask in his hands. His brow was knit in rage and his steps were angry and jerky. He lifted the cannister over his head and threw it through a window, then fastened the mask to his face before leaping inside. 

Celestia let out a cry and dove down after him. The hiss of gas being released made Celestia's blood run cold. If what Anon had told her was true...

Zipping through the window and crashing through the pantry door, Celestia was horrified to see...

Anon spreading his ass cheeks wide and releasing his pent-up gaseous rage upon the bound and gagged (both meanings) earth pony. The pony's eyes were wide and his face green, and he thrashed wildly while Anon continued to push out the abominable stench. The gas mask snapped to Celestia, and Anon clapped his ass back together. 

Anon stared Celestia dead in the face, never even breathing. Then, quick as lightning, he let loose a little poot and jumped out the whole window in Filthy's kitchen, doing a combat roll and taking off at a sprint down the street, bringing attention to his pantless self as his verdant butt waggled in front of Ponyville's market.