Daniel Habbuck, UN ambassador to Equestria, hates his job.

Sure it pays well, but it's hardly worth having to put up with flank-kissing politicians and the stomach twisting anxiety of knowing that he represents all of humanity.
One night, after a particularly tense meeting leaves him wound up, Daniel is desperate for somepony to talk to. With his friends either busy or too far away, he hires a batpony prostitute, just so he can have some company.

As he soon learns, there's much more to this streetwalker than meets the eye...

Rated T for sexual references, but no clop.

Special thanks to WingmanRed, Georg, and Kraken Hatchling for proofreading and editing

EDIT: Special, special thanks to Comrade Pony for the suggestions
EDIT: Deleted cover art.

As hard as Spike tries he cannot seem to win over Rarity's heart. After "careful" consideration he decides to present her with a truly au inspiring gift. he also figures out that Rarity's little sister Sweetie Belle is probably his best bet for ideas on what he should get. Unbeknownst to him, Sweetie Belle has had quite the eye for Spike for a while now and she is flattered, yet slightly hurt when Spike asks for help. So the two set of on a quest for the perfect gift, a quest that will make them close friends, or perhaps more than that.

Confused, Spike wakes up to find himself in a predicament that he wouldn't be in by choice.

He doesn't mind all that much though.

Absolutely zero editing nor proof-reading was put into this. Consider that.

Ditzy walks into "Ye Olde Muffen Shoppe" desiring a bit of lunch, she finds a bit more.

[Revisions pending. Could be a while, though.]

Everypony has a story. Some tell of heroic feats and grand adventure. Others tell of villainy against the forces of Harmony. The story of an average guard, however, is one of obscurity. They live in the background, unnoticed but ever-present.

Silent Knight assumed his tale would be like that of his father's: join the Royal Guard and serve Equestria. He would be just another helmet and spear, part of the rank and file. And that was all he ever wanted.

However, when Captain Shining Armor asked for volunteers to form a House Guard for the recently returned Princess Luna, it was Silent's hooves that stepped forwards to set his new life in motion.

What happens when the Reds and Blues finally get Church out of the Epsilon unit? Caboose decides he wants a turn in the unit, of course! What happens next? Well let's just say he always did say he wanted a pony, now he has a world full of them.

[Before asking questions in the comments, please read!]
- The first chapter is the end of the ninth season. I put it there just to ease the flow of the story.
- You will probably be extremely confused if you have not seen the last two seasons of Red vs Blue.
- You will probably be even MORE confused if you have never heard of Caboose.
- I placed a series of hyphens to show when the story becomes my own work during the prologue.
- Click here to watch the series if you have not.
- FAQ

Uploaded to FimFiction: Monday, March 5th, 2011 at 2:30 PM.
Uploaded to RvBfics: Monday, March 26th, 2011 at 11:50 PM.
Linked on Bungie.net: Saturay, March 31st, 2011 at 3:29 AM.

Proofread/Edited By - Pissfer

Current Title Image:
The Group by ~Butts-are-Nice

Past Title Images:
Caboose and Pinkie by ~SarahWidiyanti
Caboose and Pinkie by ~Farore769
Church and Twilight by ~Farore769

Dramatic Readings:
ShadowflashMLP

Fan Art:
Caboose's Drawing by ~Depressing Rain